Show A substitute broker an old man on saturday week an inn ing substitute broker in st louis having ben rather unsuccessful in his search of stock to fill the numerous orders or of his customers and meeting r with all ah ohl akl naan answered his Ir purpose pose in in every respect except tile the ti trifling eflin matter of over age hit upon tile happy expedient of restoring the old man to youth to do this it was not necessary to find the fountain of youth 11 vainly sought b by ponce de leon nor ilor like old ze esop sop to call in the services of medea to renew his lease of f life by enchantment our substitute broker had a mol more c expeditious lous way of bransmo transmogrifying transmogrify 0 0 rif ying ing 0 an old man into a young one lie ile first administered to his patient a liberal dose of the essence of rye rye J then took him to a barber shop had his neck and face washed all and powdered his hair and whiskers neatly dyed and the wrinkles in his checks smoothed over by a process known to io the tonsorial profession another adother snifter of rye was poured down the throat to straighten his spine clear the rheum from his cods eyes 7 and make his breast swell out in martial style the inner man mail fein being arranged in mustering 0 condition condition it was deemed necessary in order to make a suro sure thing of tile job to bestow some attan attention fid h upon the outer covering edg A pair paid of substantial bro brokalis brogans galis was purchased and an mandanice danice a nice yellow linen duster added and the old man of sixty presented the a appearance p pe arance of a biped of not more than thirty starting to the office with his substitute in charge the indefatigable broker figuring 0 in liis his mind that lie ho had made t two wo hundred dollars and forty five cents by the operation and not wishing to be troubled with the extra forty five took his newly made patriot into ta a saloon to drink up the bothersome odd cents there lie he committed a fatal error by his generosity he was undone and the fruits of his labor enterprise and ingenuity slip slipped p Q from his grasp for the third dose of rye put so much starch in the old mans backbone that he be positively refused to enlist I 1 in vain the tha broker threatened entreated I 1 a and nd offered a lai large are sum to induce his substitute to come up lip to the scratch the old man felt as independent as a newly appointed corporal and swore hed be dad squelched if lie he was going goin Z to fight for any bloody coward in in america 11 tile the broker then demanded the return of the brigans brogans and the linen duter duster but buethe the alien flatly refused to give them I 1 up tile the broker way was in despair lie ife had spent pent 19 35 in clear cash in making a young substitute out of an old supernumerary and cheated out of his investment lie ile I 1 gave rave vent to a volley of oaths that would have done honor to an ox driver my afy young friend said the recusant substitute til ill tell you how you can make it all right just have my death entered I 1 to the credit ol of wy my I 1 az and that c will nv i I 1 I 1 square s q t ut re accounts ac co tints r you infernal old swindler leil what do yon mean why I 1 dye coward who hired you to gamo as ins his C and a rid when aib lilb li itte dies does docs ait that the principal the broker seized a huab i le r a ait 1 hii diac at alle S abs tit 11 fes fe s ead but that individual being rei I 1 I 1 VT f rs natco by the elixir of life lia L 0 evaded v ad 1 i l the blow and addled at the P f 0 rate of nine knots an all hour for incys v war mar press V i i r f t au |