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Show truth. I picked strawberries I began to realize that I was up against bT youn" days hauled stone with a something. tor Clark Sisson; ft ft sorrel horse a small brown mule and big I Then certified that all the answers who is now dead; worked for Jim Fogg, were in own handwriting. But that section for Pat Karney, who wasn!t my 00 the had I to and swear enough. go me to give the hand car to it. always wanted for Dan ft ft Bcud; that I dug potatoes mowed and Hill The next step was in going to a Biddleman on Bunker Ben on ice cut county official who testified under the briars for Amos Utley; out set Doctor for Capwell; seal of his office that I wa$ a citizen, Agers pond for corn husked although I had already sworn to that, trees for Henry Pike; when hod carried a and that I was making the application Wesley McKeown; This person cheerthe plastered Aunt Senas house; helped for examination. cut fully undertook the work, although I Aunt Sabra pick her watermelons; at Wilson Gila threshing fear, since the application was not filed, bands for for Joe he may be liable to arrest for timber sawed shingle time; perjury. do the Then two men, who had to aver Ball- helped Pinkie Gardner they with Jim were milking; worked on the road and were actually living legal, Wrieley; hauled cider apples for George- bona fide residents and citizens, were Cobb: trapped skunks with Harry Keyto knew required say they me; that I was a not fiend or a dope drunkard; worked in the tunnel with Ed Capwell never had used hop, and while in I that Minnie for babies of the care and took I used to quit the beaten while she got supper and spanked Ina days gone by track occasionally, I had taken the and John until they could not whisper cure and was all right; that I because they would howl; and but Keeley as was honest as circumstances and the hero my paper ran out and I had to of usages society would permit; that I write an appendix on a separate sheet. did not cuss unless provoked and only The civil service committee does not used naughty language when telling a ive paper enough for a man to tell all risque story to tne boys. They filled ie knows about himself. out the blanks so cheerfully and withft ft out blotting that I felt real good. names of five - A K Then they wanted the former employees who knew I was a good ethnologist, and there I was at fault. I did not remember ever telling any of them whether I was an anthropologist or a dermatologist or a I hagiologist or any other old ist, but Lan-naand Pat chucked in Ed Rosewater and C. F. Cochran, and old Pease over in Cheyenne, and Charlie Stanton, and let it go at that. It makes no difference now anyway. But by this time of my n, SIOP PAYING RENT! The Home Builders Company will enable home and UK INDEPENDENT. It is the only institution in the world which makes it possible for you to buy property at its actual cash value at monthly payments not to exceed the monthly rental. you to own your own The Plan of the Home Builders Company Is ft ft business principles. It does not promise more than it can perform. It does not pretend to give something for nothing. It has not the iniquitous insurance feature. It is not a catch penny institution, but does business on a business basis. It is worth your while to investigate. All officers of the company are bonded and Loss is F. Impossible. A. FALKENBURQ. Head Consul Woodmen of the World, is the president of the . . . hand it to him in a couple of days. Thats all. When I got ready to mail the application I found that by reason of being past 40 when the yearning for anthropologists came over government, I was barred. My training in certain lines for many years was no good. I might run for senator or congressman to make laws governing civil service commissions or even be appointed chairman to execute them, but not to work under them. ft ft What a silly system, What a lot of useless red tape. Tkuth Bureau, 11144 x Street. By Special Marconigraph.j Washington, D. C., May 10. ex-mana- y The House, on foot. Doc Jones. Transparency, God lieigns and the Government lives once more. The Supreme Court. The common herd, ft ft The lino of march will bo up Pennsylvania avenue to 12tli street, and then around the corner to the hotel entrance. Here the parade will disband and the senator will go to dinner. ft ft Your correspondent has received a round robin from San Pete county citi- WASHINGTON LETTER. I f There is joy in the city tonight for word has been received to the effect that Senator Kearns is coming back. All day flags have been flying over both ends of the Capitol, on all the. department build ings and the White House. The president was told the glad tidings at an early hour, and was greatly elated. He ordered two boxes of strawberries for dinner and told Cortelyou to have the bugy greased so he could drive to the train and meet the senator in person. Doc Jones has cancelled an engagement he had with some other members of the. profession in amputating the leg of a machinist, and Manager Talty, of the Raleigh Hotel, has given strict orders to have clean sheets and pillow slips put on the Senators bed, and has told the chef to omit mashed potatoes from the bill of fare until Sunday week, ft ft It is understood that Senator Kearns will be received with all the honors of his rank. As soon as his train leaves Baltimore the big guns at the navy yard will begin firing a salute. One gun for each dividend declared by the Silver King mine will be the number. Sometime during the exercises the president will recommend that the photographs of the members of the legislature who elected Senator Kearns be placed in the hall of fame. This been duty has contemplated for many is and it weeks, thought this will be a fitting time for the performance of The senate and the grave duty. house have decided to adjourn at 5 p. m., and no cases will be heard in the supreme court after that hour, in order that all may have an opportunity of greeting the great statesman. Senator Hanna will be chairman of there The exercises at ception committee. the train will be simple, yet impressive. The following is the programme: -- -- But the doctor! He fixed me plenty. Now whereas I had testified to my height with my shoes on, he measured me with them off. This in my judg ment is a naive way the commission has of detecting a man who wears high heeled boots, and shows great perspecui-t- y on the part of some one in authority. A guilty man might deny it but the damning evidence would be there confronting him. But to continue. The doctor said in accordance with instructions he would have to measure me around the umbilicus. I to but he said 1 must and Then he said he must around my thorax. Now I am very jealous about my thorax and this doctor was a stranger to me, but I remembered my $200 a month and let him go on. He told me that a mans measurements around the umbilicus and thorax had to harmonize, in order to pass him. That rule would bar two men I know; of a paper, the othone the er an attorney. Neither one ever could hope to become an anthropologist. Then he made me inhale a lot of stale air in his office and exhale it. He measured me while I was doing it and then measured me when I wasn't. He gave me a degree of robustness Arrival of the train bearing 98, when he finished that part. I thought Senator Kearns. he must be through but he was not. of the train. Stopping Refraction He tested my eyes next. Debarkation of Senator Kearns O. D., O. S., O. D., 0. S., was the way from the Pullman. he put it. Color perception was next. of Senator Kearns from Walk This is supposed by me to indicate the Pullman to the stawhether the anthropologist can tell a tion gate. man. He then disnigger from a white was Greeting by the glad throng. covered my hearing good, although Triumphal march of Senator I knew it all the time. I then submitted Kearns to his carriage to percussion and auscultation and was while the Marine Band told I had no rales. That sounded fun. plays Welcome, ny for he was feeling my slats all the Welcome. Thomas, time. Maybe I was mistaken in his ft. ft ipeaning. He counted my pulse while I was sitting down and then, while I The parade will form on Pennsylvania was standing up, and then made me avenue, right resting on the sidewalk. foot and counted it The order of hop 12 steps on onetold procession will be as folme I didnt have he Then again. either rheumatism, gout, tic dolareaux, lows: Grand Marshal Hanna. chronic catarrh, disease or defect of Transparency, This is Him. any of the organs of special sense, herThe Marine Band. nia, varicocele, sarcocele, hydrocele, The Marines. hemmorhoids, enlarged glands, tumors, Senator Kearns and Theodore cancers, varicose veins, cutaneous disRoosevelt in a wagon. eases or any other old thing. Said my Transparency, We are glad nasal fossar was good, my larynx al you have came. correct, and that 1 ought to pass. He The Senate, on foot. then tried my nerves and charged me Transparency, The Country is $5. The shock was sudden but I stood now safe. it as well as he did when I said I would ex-cit- On sound 7 zens insolently demanding to know why he does not accord to George Sutherland and Joe Rawlins as much space as he gives Senator Kearns. Your correspondent caunot imagine what kind of people live in San 1etc that they should ask such questions, but will say the reason is plain. Senator Kearns is doing something worthy of note all the time, while the others are not. Then, too, Senator Kearns is a friend of the newspaper men. Every time Senator Kearns gets a letter he tells Doc Jones to let your correspondent see it. By means of this courtesy your correspondent gets the news. Mr. Sutherland and Mr. Rawlins get the same letters from the departments Senator Kearns gets, but they do not give them out as he does. Hence they are overlooked. If Sutherland and Rawlins would favor the newspaper men a little more, they would be all right and would see their names in print oftener. 1 Local Manager, F, L. M o o 159k ne, Mam Why continue to throw away money year in and year out by paying rent! The fullest information cheerfully furnished. Call or write us. GOODj RELIABLE AGENTS WANTED. : . . j ,? t X. . Ir s t: V i?' vr i r: ;; ft ft It is understood that all business in .o the senate will now be pushed to an early completion in order that Senator Kearns may go abroad. ft ft V' Bulletin. Senator Kearns will arrive in the city Sunday evening. Church services will be suspended during the parade. 4 r t if:i j y-I Powers, Straup & Lippman, ATTORN 1.. e m EYS-AT-LA- v:? I Cdgl6 DlOCK Cor. Second South and I West Temple Sts. I y WALKER BROTHERS . . . Salt Lake -- . ...BAWKE1S City, Ut Ji Established 1859 t Banking Business Transacted. Safety Deposit Boxes For Rent V m 8V E'! 5? A General . ...HOME... r . fyMtine j i1 A |