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Show T RU T H. 14 "4 . . AN OLD BACHELOR - . Few girls enjoy waltzing the parlor with a broom. ALL SORTS. ) SAYS around j " Some people live; others just worry along. Is an a ball dress In covering s real square? warm heart reaches Its limit. all-roun- d Many "good fellow ever Love is an appeltzer, but money It always unmans a woman when pays the check. she obtains a decree of divorce. A woman's change of mind Is an ex- ample of an effect without a cause. Spring, after fooling around so long, is ringing the doorbell at last into the louder he howls. Dont judge the nut by the burr. Duty is the law of which love is the ife. A double mind is always a borrowed one. . . SAY8 Tht smaller the trouble a man A whining religion wins none. .. gets Bachelors are women's rights and widowers are womens lefts. A wife is a servant who lets her vices for life without wages. ser- mans credit is getting pretty low when he cant even borrow trouble. A Faith is more than fear of the ture. Glad rags and plenty of nerve are that keeps a man Man judges by our hits, a combination that it is pretty hard sick a long time after he gets well. aims. to down. Love Is a disease The poor man who marries now days usually finds himself wedded to A SPINSTER SENTENCE SERMONS. fu- God by our A jealous man is always in love, but its more self-lov- e than anything else. A little sheer is worth a lot of crib Love is like quinine in whisky. A little bitter, a good stimulant, but a icism. Nothing will so completely blind a man as throwing gold dust in his eyes. Flowers of rhetoric make poor food Clothes do not make the man, but for faith. they do make other people put a Nothing is conquered until self Is price on him. Cupid is the manager of a two-rincircus; the engagement and wedding not despise small cream soda may an Even The cross is a good symbol, but a ice things. lead to a divorce. poor sign. The average man spends a lot of money trying to get something for nothing. It is useless to worry; but it Is They say that there are no asses Piety is the opposite of spiritual useless to tell a woman that It Is usein Japan. Lets corner the market pauperism. less to worry. and send them the whole outfit. Only a dead honor needs pride tc Dont think for a minute that there When an American girls wants to preserve it. ls a pretty woman In this wide world marry a title she should make sure who doesnt know it. A soft snap has a hard catch in it that both the title and the man are somewhere. Occasionally you meet a woman of genuine. few words, but she is apt to repeat When a man has so much money When justice is falling an excuse is rhem unnecessarily. that he does not know what to do A poor umbrella. The 5 oclock tea would probably with it he generally starts out to Service for others is the solvent be more popular with the fair sex If do other people. if our own sorrows. marked down to 4:58. A woman always believes all the You cannot go forward without The older the scheme the more vic- scandals she hears of her neighbor. tims It ensnares. Matrimony Is ono The good she hears she sneers at as saving some things behind. "posing for effect. of the oldest schemes on record. Shutting the eyes to the danger sig-la- l a The difference between man's does not clear the track. Cincinnatis death rate Is remarkman a The kick kick and is: mules ably small when you consider the Jact that hundreds of our girls gradu- kicks from habit, the mule because Watching the other mans patch he is built will not keep the weeds out of your that way. Pittsburg ate from cooking schools every year. Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and others become humorists. art. better tonic. Before marriage a girl clings to a mans nock; after marriage she walks on It. Some, men marry widows because they are too lazy to do the courting themselves. overcome. A man should own. g rings. If men were compelled to bury their faults the undertakers would have to work overtime. . A higamist is a crazy man who im- agines he can manage more than one woman at a time. More than half the time when a woman does not tell a secret a mans at the bottom of it. When a man knows his own imperfections he is about as perfect as it is possible for a man to be. The common belief that it is difffor a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven prevents few men from trying to get rich. icult 9 HOW WE SHOULD LIVE. A WOMAN ON LOVE. They know too much about family trees to have much reverence foi new in The art of living is to know how to her Oliver John book, them in heaven. Hobbs, "The Vineyard, is as srkling as give ones life. ever in her epigrams. Here are some The man who makes a success at true action and more of or a less on genEvery right thought love, subject being sad is not likely to have a sets the seal of its beauty on the eral interest. chance at another job. Chicago face. the and person There is no weman who does not Tribune. to be loved. The kind of life that we live Is an love WIT AND WISDOM. Index to the death that we will die. One takes a husband nowadays as The present Is an arrow that points Moralists who shout too loud need one takes a house according to ones straight to the future. Income. watching. One secret act of generosity, one sacrifice of Inclination to duty, is worth all the mere good thoughts, FROM THE PADDOCK. It is a good debt that is met half way. In racing, a grain of wisdom is worth an ounce of advice. That noise in the ring emanates as a rule from the discharge of obligations. The road to wealth has successfully withstood a whole lot of strenuous workouts. The member of the band has a right The young of both sexes often take the still happiness of being loved for to blow his own horn. A horse race is a one act sketch in warm feelings, passionate prayers, in love itself. If you trust your friends you ought which the bettor usually plays a which some people indulge Human love is not a single and sim- to canonize your enemies. thinking part. an of emotional force but ple impulse, The larger the scale of your betting A mans courage is written on his innumerable complications. HAPHAZARD THOUGHTS. face when his wife "sasses him back. operations, the greater the danger of There is no loving kindness, even weighing in "short The best after-dinne-r speaker is the of It is the man who doesnt properly provincial Christians, man who knows when he has said in the best Oftener than not it is the comparamembers of the aris- know his a-- b abs who turns use into for enough.. abuse. tocracy. tively unknown race horse which makes the plungers reputation. Many a wealthy patient Is operated If a man really wants a thing he The days approach when one does upon for appendicitis who would go if for will ask it, and he really loves a not care to wander from ones own Only when you tuck away a 100 free were he a poor man. woman he will take any risk rather fireside. dollar bill in your waistcoat do you realize the beauties of a "century It Isnt the files of a newspaper than lose her. A man who thinks he is marrying plant that sharpens the wits of Its editors. Treachery kills a womans love, an angel often wakes up to find that Tempers Copper. The man who is an adept at feign- while jealousy will keep it burning. he hasnt disto A men women lie When who love youth of Buffalo says he has ing love Is sometimes more successful covered a method for tempering copJapanese Water Drinkers. than he who loves truly but Is timid. them, they are fools. A gallon of water a day is drunk by per a long lost art It is said that he every Japanese who practices, as near- has conducted successful experiments Steel Billiard Balls. Spank All Boys at Once. Hollow steel spheres are in use in ly all do, the gymnastics known as in tempering copper under the obser Spanking has made more great men vation of governmental naval experts. Sweden for billiard balls. jiujltsu. than New York Press. ill-behav- ed genius. |