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Show DOINGS AT THE KICKERS CLUB. TRUTH. 7 a touching selection which hart a spcoch which he was aching to DEMOCRATIC TICKET. ouch off. The exception was too inFor President Alton B. Parker. toxicated with the cxhubcranco to care G. Never throw the lighted lamp at whether he made a speech or not. President Henry For Vice mother; What he needed was a couch and some Davis. You'll waste the kerosene; cracked ice. STATE TICKET. Never push your dear old father, Naturally, under these conditions, O. W. Powers Member of On a red hot stove. Dr. Wishhard could not say all that of Salt Lake. Congress was on his mind. He did the best he Governor James H. Moyle of Salt After the succeeding applause had could, however, and sank into his seat died out, the guests turned their atten- where ten minutes later he was snor- Lake. Secretary of State Levi N. Hartion to the serious discussion of the ing lustily. Again Mr. Choseph Moutn-ma- mon of Price. menu, which contained Mormon done had the floor. He said: Attorney General, Grant C. Bagley of in every conceivable style. On this Kickers and Prevaricators, I stand Provo. occasion Mormon was roasted, boiled, here to propose the name of a man Auditor J. W. Geiger of Park City. stewed, friend, broiled, toasted, hashed whom we all love to reverence. He Is Treasurer W. B. Wilson of Ogden. and rehashed and then hashed again a man known to national fame, one Superintendent of Public Instruction and every Kicker feasted as never be- who numbers the leaders of our land Nathan T. Porter of Davis County. fore. And then when the wine was among 'his most confidential friends For Supreme Judge C. S. Varian of brought and corks began to pop, the and admirers, lie is a man who, like Salt Lake. real pleasure of the evening began. Cclumbus, has enriched the world with For Judges of the Third Judicial Mr. Choseph Mouthman, as toastmas- important discoveries; who, like the District Samuel Stewart, A. N. ter, arose to propose Our Chief, but immortal Father of Ilis County, could Cherry, W. C. Hall, J. II. Hurd. before doing so he delivered the fol not tell a lie, no matter how urgent tile For Mundpal Judges Morris Somd address: case; who, like the great emancipator, mer, A. S. Fowler. lowing My Brother. K. Ks.: You who have Lincoln, was taught the necessity of pledged your, property, your lives and hard work from early infancy; who. THE GIRL your sacred honor to the cause of Mor- like the statesman, soldier, writer, mon damnation, it is my most pleas Theodore Roosevelt, advocates the life ant duty to bid you thrice welcome to of streneous endeavor; who, like myDocs not wear evening slippers oc this magnificent feast. You are the self, is too modest for his own good the street. paid watchmen standing on Zions and yet, who is unlike all these great, wa'ls to bark at and to fling mud at men in that he owns his party, in that Is careful to have her collars and the scurvy followers of Smoot, Reed he has bought and paid for liis own cuffs immaculate. Smoot of Provo. (Wild cheers and political machine and is going to use cries of, You bet your life, and weU that machine to swat Smoot, Reed Avoids inharmonious combinations do it.) You, fellow Kickers, are the Smoot of Provo. Kickers and Prevaripatriotic heroes who cators, I propose our chief, the Hop either of color or of styles. have rallied to the defense of Amer- Thomas Kearns, who is worth more in Does not wear fancy afternoon ican institutions at a time they were one minute than his whole party can jeopardized by that arch friend, that scrape together In the next ten years, frocks when on a shopping tour. The toast was drunk standing. stranger to the Tribune brand of ci honor, Smoot, Reet Smoot of Provo; Ties her shoes so that the laces, do o' and the (Frantic applause throwing THOSE OF THE K. Ks. WHO not come undone every two minutes. hats by the waiters.) You are the the ahem; you are the the men WERE FORMERLY REPUBLICANS Remembers that her clothes must you are the men chosen to safeguard AND THEIR CHIEF ORGAN, THE be as faultless in the back as in the the sacred interests of the great com- TRIBUNE, SAY THEY WANT TO front. monwealth. and to see to it that no 8EE ROOSEVELT AND FAIRBANKS Mormon like Smoot, Reed Smoot of YET THEY HAVENT Sees that her gloves are In good orProvo, lifts his head or- his voice or ELECTED, PRESI der and spotlessly clean, at least when his hands or liis f.eet in in in de- PUT THE REPUBLICAN DENTIAL ELECTORS ON THEIR she starts out. fense, or rather to defend that that to defend that d old church. TICKET. THEIR ACTIONS AND At this point the guests stamped and THEIR Remembers that in these days of AGREE WORDS DONT on and their yelled chairs, standing walking length skirts her underskirts cheered till the spacious banquet VOTERS PLEASE TAKE NOTICE must bo spotlessly clean. THAT IF THEY WANT TO VOTE hall rang again. r Fellow Kickers, we have got the FOR THE REPUBLICAN ELECTORS Takes care to have her belt fastMormons on the hip. We have got the THEY MUST PUT THEIR X MARK ened securely in the back, eo that her church going south. We have got at this juncture Micky Flinn,a newsboy ON THE REPUBLICAN TICKET IN skirt will not sag below It. who had strayed in unobserved to see THE CIRCLE BENEATH THE RE- If her fcair has untidy short ends fallif there was any excitement on tap PUBLICAN EMBLEM. SEE TO ing about her face invests ii. rfn invisishouted: Bats in your garrets! THAT. veil. ble net or a close-fittinThe interruption was so unexpected o that it was several moments before The Flag Should Not Come Down. the orator and guests succeeded in Above all, does not spoil the good effect of her general appearance by a catching their breaths, and by that Among the reasons given by John S time Micky was in the street singing: walk. Chicago Democrat and a shambling, ungraceful George, a News. nephew of the late Governor R. P There was a funny man, o Flower, cf New York, for declaring And his name was Tommy Kearns; the Shepard Co. on collections. Try his intenticn to vote for President And be has a. lot of dough Roosevelt, is this: Which Choseph never spurns; The Democratic leaders are making He hasnt any brains M. M. miitarism speeches against In his little wooden head. ATTORNKY-AT-LAdemandand imperia ism. and they are But hes goin ter kill the church Salt Lika City. Utak ing that the Philippine Islands be giv Commercial Blk. Till its dead, dead, dead. en up and abandoned, so far as the As the last strains of the song died guardianship of the United States is in the distance, Rev. Wishhard cravet concerned. I do not believe that the ROOMS 526-7-- 8 flag should ever come down A. J. WEBER the indulgence of the banqueters for American ATLAS BLOCK once raised a few moments while he denounced the from any pole that it is ATTORNEY 8ALT LAKE OITY AT LAW Mormon home as a menace to the na upon. o ticn. Micky Flinn came in for a goo Two Men to Each Office. roasting and he was held up as an In Thibet nearly every public office example of what the hemes of priest-riddetwo incumbents. One is supposed has Utah were doing for the ris Utah Light & Power Co. Dr. Wisbhards re to be a check on the other. jJut someing generation. marks wre in an exceedingly pleasan. times this dual authority, does not INSTALLATION. vein and. but for the fact that they work well in war. for example were pointless and without rhyme or o BLBOTRIQAUl reason (Micky was never inside of ...Water MOOH. P. Balt Lake REGISTER TODAY. DONT Steam 1500 H. P Lake Mormon home) they may have been Salt IT. THOSE IN DOUBT ABOUT .Water-50- 00 H. P. Ogden enjoyed. As it. was, Mr. Mouthman ANY REGISTRATION Leaaed Plant.... ....Water 8000 B. P. MATTER, was anxious to go on with his speech CALL UP 'PHOe NO 692 BELL and there were others who were anx- TELEPHONE 27f1 INDEPENDENT. SAS. ious to do a tittle talking themselves o ,..400 11 Cn. Ft. Dally. d Salt Lake Z 00 M Cn. Ft. Dally. Dr. Maden had come cocked a in Ogden.. in Wine Gcatskins ' a nrimed with speech dealing' with 7 8. MAIN STREET. Wine in Madeira is still carried to and a brand new verGospel Nephis SALT LAK OITT. market at Funchal in goatskins by sion of the origin of the Book-oMormon. Every Kicker present but one the peasants. LMurTTflMnHMnMHnmnmirHma Never, starts out: The annual banquet of the Kickers club held recently was a hugh success. Fast Grand Masters of the Modern Order of Kickers, Mr. Choseph Mouthman, presided and Orlando W. Weaknesses was the guest of honor. A number of honorary kickers from out of the city points were in attendance, including that old war horse, the Hon. Ogden Lowels of the Junction City. Everything went off with the smoothness of a buzz saw, and at an early hour in the morning those who wcro not fairly and hopelessly down and out, voted the entire function from cocktaLs to champagne., a brilliant achievement, reflecting great glory on the dividend paying qualities of the Silver King mine. One of the most pleasing features of the evening was the vocal selections rendered by the Kearns Kickers Glee club which had been secured especially for the occasion. The popular song, With All His Dough We Love Him Still, was feelingly rendered; after which the Rev. Wishhard offered the invocation. Rev. Wishhards prayer was a masterpiece in English. It went to the hearts, livers and lights of every kicker present and so impressed Toastmaster Mouthman that it was some moments after the Amen before he could sufficiently control his voice to anathamatize Senator Smoot. During the interval between the Amen and the anathamatizing, the Glee club sang n well-time- WELL-GOWNE- self-sacrificin- D g, - Nora Gleason, Miss TEACHER. Of MUSIC PHONE 1288 9TUDIO. tat m. rutBT mo. I. .... WALKER BROTHERS . RaWKEM. lad Lakf dtyw Utah Established 1869 General Banking Business Transacted. Safety Deposit Boxes For Rent g A W. life-lon- g J. J. DALY. 8. MOCORNICK. PRESIDENT 8. H. LYNCH. Manager a Sec. . VICB-PRBS- T. Qtalt Savings & Trust Co. SALT LAKE CITY. WARNER so-call- ed CAPITAL PAID UP $150,000 SURPLUS AND UNDIVIDED PROFITS.. $44,000 Loans on ap- iroved security. Acts as executor, admin-atratguardian, assignee, receiver, etc. Title Guarantee Department : Iusures Titles and makes Abstracts. Interest paid on deposits. or. W 81-8- 2 . Salt Lake High-Grad- e Reversible Rugs Marie From Your Old Carpets. Carpet Cleaning. 236 W. GAe Works. Fluff-Ru- g .'SK.'Srz SOUTH TEMPLE ST. NEG-LEC- SALT LAKE ICE CO. PURE ICE MADE FROM DISTILLED WATER J. C. LYNCH. Manajer. n 'PHONE 43. f T |