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Show BILL AND TRUTH. THE MINISTERS. Billtown is yet agl- tated oyer the recent ramble of its Min- jnayor and some members of the isterial Alliance, through the half world which is located well, neer mind where; the ministers, or Bill can tell you if you do not know yourself. to handle, but Itis net a nice subject as a matter of fact the circumstances connected with the episode are such that a moral may be derived, so here goes. Bill, as we all know, jpride3 himself on being about the best ever. He really believes that there never was a mayor who handled business as well as he does. Medical works designate this as monomania, but let that go for the nonce. Sitting one evening in his parlor, Bill was stung by the splendor of a sudden thought. ForOgden, Dec. 23. f ! getting the old line in the copy books he used at school, If anything strikei you as being particularly smart, dont do it, Bill proceeded to put the idea, thought, iiosyfn,orasyf op hallucination, into effect. He reasoned as follows: Here am I, mayor of Billtown. me. TriThe people have wicked The opposition, is umphantly. me and saying 1 am throwing mud at the chief sinner, of ten thousand and re-elect- altogether uhlovely. How shall I confuse them. Ah, I have it. The dives and dumps, the better grade of dejoie are no worse here than they are in other places. I will get me a delegation of parsons and take them around and show them this is so. Then they can tell the people and. the people will believe them. Bill di: not stop to consider that the ministers blight not be as accustomed to meeting Sin with her red dress on as he. and never gave a thought to the impression that might be made on the ministerial mind, but just started out. to put his. plan into execution. mai-son- s ' It may be a coincidence, but they that on the day previous to the visit, a young man went from bagnio to bagnio and told the madames what was coming. He advised them to have the girls on their good behavior when the evangelists arrived, and suggested that perhaps it would be a good thing to put. a hymn book cn the piano, and have the professor play psalm tunes during their stay. dt dt Some wicked young men got a hunch on the layout and alas and alack for Bill and the ministers. These wicked young men started out early in the evening and they bought and bought plenty. Wine was a cheap drink while they were there, and as for beer, why beer was like water; cne could have waded in it. When the delegation, headed by Bill, arrived, every damosel in the outfit had her kite out and was flying it away off in the clouds. What followed was scandalous. The ladie3' all appeared to be well acquainted with every member of the party and insisted upon sitting on ministerial knees, toying with ministerial razpetaz whiskers and calling the visitors Papa. Say, it was fierce! If ever there was a bunch of paralyzed parsons they were there. It was all right for Bill, who had heard of such doings before, but these shepherds of the flocks were not used to these black sheep antics, by a darned sight. The ministers were mortified, crushed and ashamed. It is safe to say that they will never court another interview with vice, but will be content with receiving their Information second hand. Had this visit been made before election Bill would 'have been snowed under, so terrific was the effect, when the affair leaked out, and you can bet the young men who put lip the job didnt take any oaths to keep the matter secret. do eay 3 i It is all kinds of money to dough- cate algae, and shells in infinite vanuts that the ministers have been in riety. prized for both beauty and hot water at home ever since, although the curtain has been drawn in that respect. dt dt The new Democratic organ starts .January 1. Truly Ogden is getting plenty of newspapers. This last venture is said to have the backing of Bill, although the owners deny it. dt dt We are going to celebrate Bills inaugural with a ball on the evening of January 4. The governor is coming up to make a speech and Bill is going to open something. A large bunch of us will be present, and we hope to have a very nice time. These atiairs come only once in two years, and it looks as if this would be the last one given on Bills account, so come early and avoid the rush. Everybody who voted for Bill is invited to a tend, whether they receive an invitatioh or net, so ccme early and avoid the rush. o VISIT CALIFORNIA. It is a Mighty Wonderland A Grand worth, are to be had for the gather- ing. It is the siglitsccrM paradise. What country on earth can surpass the scenic splendors of Yosemltc, the Big Trees, I.ake Tahoe, Mt. Shasta, the Geysers, Mt. Hamilton, Mt. Lowe? These are only the more famous features, but there are hundreds more of less note almost as interesting, all of which can be visited comfortably, and the experience is worth the cost many times over. Six months or a year spent in Caliwill give more fornia health more enjoyment, and bring one nearer the great heart of nature than the samo amount of time spent in any other part of the world. For illustrative and descriptive caU r address 1). It. Gray, general agent., Southern pacific Co., 201 Main street. Salt Lake City, Utah. sight-seein- g lit-erati- o The Christinas edition of the Deseret News, issued last Saturday, was ever the handsomest newspaper printed in this city. The typographical work was splendid, the illustrations magnificent, while the reading matter vas of a select character and ably put together. The Christmas News reflects credit upon the stale of Utah, and wo hope that its circulation in the east will be double the nuiuocr its management anticipates, because too many such papers cannot be circulated abroad. Truth congratulates its neighbor on the showing made, and tenders its felicitations to every one who bad a part in the production of uo magnificent an issue, from the galley bov to the The other fellows will have to hustle some if they come anywheres near to the Natural Park and Playground. California is a region of wonders. From the time one enters the stale until he leaves it he will find something to marvel at, something to learn, something to enjoy. The flora presents a field of inexhaustible interest, from the mammoth sequoias, eighty feet in circumference and four hundred feet high, down to eunannas. the beautiful The field of minerals is likewise rich and of wondrous extent. Its mining industry has been prominent before the world for half a century. On the sea beach all forms of ocean life may be studied; beautiful and del- - standard set. by the News. rose-throate- d editor-in-chie- f. GREATEST SALE EVER HELD IN UTAH OUR ENTIRE STOCK OF' Pianos, Organs, Pianolas and All Musical Merchandise Sold a-t- 8250 PIANOS, 8125. ' 800 PIANOS, 814.8100. $350 PIANOS, TT C 1 8000 PIANOS, 8310. 8700 PIANOS, 805. 875 PIANOS, 8240. 8750 PI ANOS, 825. 8575 PIANOS, 8290. 800 PIANOS, 8105. Afc Bach, Fischer, Franklin, Heller, Hteger, Our stock embraces the following well known Makes: Knabe,orKranicli Time. Everything in Plain Figures. Cash Singer, Foster, Armstrong & Brewster. Choice. Store Open Until 1 0 p. in. Come Early ami Secure Your o LEADING MUSIC DEALERS 74 MAIN STREET REMEMBER THE ADDRESS zz re MAIN t |