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Show TRUTH T i i J i HE NEVER BLAMED THE BOOZE. He t6ok a bottle up to bed, Dranlc whisky hot each night, Drank cocktail fn the morning But. never could get tight; He shivered in the evening, And always had the blues, Until he took a ball or two, But he never blamed the booze. . i fc i -- His joints were full of rheumatiz, His appetite was slack; ..He. had pains between his shoul-- . ders, And chills ran down his back. He suffered with insomnia, And at night he couldnt snoozo.. ' He skid it was the climate, But he never blamed the booze. . . Jft r . a a - i Ufa ' - . lUs constitution was run dpwn " At'ledst thats what he said, His legs were swelled each morning, And he often had swelled head; He, tackled beer, wine, whisky, And .if they didnt fuse, He blamed it to dyspepsia, But he never blamed the booze. t He said he couldnt sleep at night. had bad dreams, . And. always He claimed he always lay awake Till early sunrise beams, He thought it was malaria, Alas! twas but a ruse. He blamed it onto everything, But he never blamed the booze. . His liver needed scraping, And his kidneys had the gout, He- swallowed lots of bitters, Till at last it cleaned him out. His' feet swelled with the dropsy, .Till he had to cut his shoes, He blamed It on the doctors. But he never blamed the booze. - ;! a , r.. a. I Jt J At last he had the tremens, And he tackled rats and snakes. ' First ho had the fever, Then. he had. the shakes; At last he had a funeral. And the mourners had the blues; And the epitaph above him was: He never blamed the booze. o n ' l i 'VJ -a Mfc, .. r Y , V f CHATTER. (Being the personal opinions of the writer, and for which no one else is in any manner responsible.) A. New York minister, Banks by name, is mourning because not only do the young men and the old men of the city, and of his congregation, but the young women and the old women also, drink, and drink hard. To such an extent is this lushing carried on that, to quote. his own words, the lemonade pitcher has been succeeded by the punch bowl, while the cocktail in .7 all its forms has come to be a univer- any names, of course, but pound it to sal tipple. Rev. Banks mentions In- 'em stvong on that point. Show thqm stances where he has seen young that only by quitting boozing can they women of his acquaintance in that hope-tlive out their days here. It 'is state we designate as loaded, and dollars to doughnuts every woman In also cites cases of helpless .drunken- your church who drinks will cut it out ness among the elderly. Of course this for fear of being translated. All of is shocking. It is bad enough for a them will think your allusion is a diman to' drink too much and make a rect one. monkey of himself, but when he does J the world has become so accustomed 1 have me a copy of the before to forgiving him for it that wlien any attempt on his part at reformats indulged Omaha Bee of April 11, containing a in we always forget his folly. With little story about Utah, which makes a woman it is different. It isnt a case me tired. The head lines are large and of equal rights, either. As a matter read: Utah Winter Drags of fact we are a great deal better than glaring, and ' on Late. Rain, Hail, Snow and Wind we think we are. We are so sensitive Wires and Endangjer concerning the opposite sex that any Tear Down ' departure from the proprieties shocks Frtiit.' Then follows the announce- us more than wo care to admit. ment that A severe wind storm, ac& & companied by rain, ball and snow, is Rev. Banks, after reviewing the sitraging, etc., and that telegraph and uation,, looks about for a cause, and. telephone service is demoralized and as usual, concludes that these mis- the fndt districts are in grave danger, guided females have not been listening or words to that effect. Of course this to the best brand of preaching. That, will be hews to all of us! We 'who'sit the moral side of the case has not looking out at the robins building their them nests: the been fairly and ably presented-tsparrows fighting' for the by their pastors. He suggests a best places iii the trees; we who wholesale change in effort and a de- watch the lilacs'vfhfold and the grass nunciation from all the pulpits of the gTow for as the has it past greener, pernicious habit. All of which sug: three or four weeks, will wonder when gestion makes one tired. These drink- this happened. It beats all that Utah ing women are simply a product of cannot get a fair show before the latter day society, thats all. They live world. For weeks and months we have strenuous lives from weeks end to had the eastern press filled with weeks end. They go to bed late and Smoot. Smoot, Smoot, and now, when they get up early. They rush and he has taken his seat in the senate and ramble all day long, living, on highly the probabilities are that he will keep seasoned food, take little sleep, and it, here comes some fellow with no the result Is a desire for intoxicants. fear oi God in his heart and adverd They know all about the moral side tises us as having a of the question. But in these times blizzard with all the appurtenances. the fear of the burning hereafter is not This, too,, when the markets are sell so strong as it was a generation or two ing strawberries asparagus fresh ant ago, and now the congregation sits and delicious, lettuce crisp' and clean, and listens in a sort of indifferent tolerance lots of other garden truck calculated to the pastors descriptions of the land to make the heart of man grow glad. where frosts never come. You cannot This,, too,, wfieq radishes, are, only a scarce, those 'kind of people into quit- nickel a bunch and early tomatoes' are ting drinking by telling them they selling at prices which permits almost will not go to heaven if they do drink. anyone to enjoy them. We do not know 1st whether this was an Associated Press Here is a suggestion, Rev. Banks, or a special dispatch, or whether little Victor" Rosewmer, in his crabbedness, which may have the desired effect. If wanted to take a whack at Utah, but you are not posted thoroughly, consult we do know that the story was untrue, some man of medicine so as to enable and should not have been. printed. :It you to talk scientifically and intelli- may have spit snow at some time dur; ing that. day. but the writer has seen gently, and next Sunday morning arise snow fall in Salt Lake City in Jiine, in your pulpit and lay It down to them but that doesn't mean that people that those who drink cut short their wore overcoats or went out sleigh rid- As a matter of fact, physical lives. Say to them that you ing by any means. snows benefit growing late have it from medical authority that these more than a shower, in a great things there are fifteen women in your con- many cases. However, the point we gregation. old and young, who will wish to make is that when we said a not survive the year; that they will all few weeks ago that nothing but evil be undc--r the daisies by the time Gentle reports are .circulated about Utah we Annie comes again. Do not mention spoke truth! If we dont have a mur- . o 4 r Sec that your ticket ' reads VIA Missouri Pacific Railway Elegant Coaches. Quirk Time, and Superb Truck make this line the Peop'es Favorite Route The only Hue reaching Hpt Springs. Arkansas, the Carlsbad of America. For maps, infornm- tiou, etc., call on or address three-cornere- c.A.miPP,c.F.ap.Af . i t SECOND SOUTH ST. 105 SALT LAKE CITY, - UTAH. W. LOST. Scotch Collie puppy. Black, full white collar and tips. Answers .to name of Ticket. Return for reward. Frank Grocsbeck, It. G. W. city ticket office. o The First Railways. The first railway in England was . begun in 1825; in Austria and France in. 1828; the United States, 1829; Belgium and Germany, 1835; Russia, 1838; and Italy in 1839. ; A. C. CIAUQUE 448 W. Sixth South RESIDENCE PHONE 1675 k PHONE 548. , f . . i ' . . o t A ... der or a . suicide to telegraph, . and there is nothing new about the apostle, then the wise boys who keep the outside world posted' on our doings fake up blizzards, cyclones, hailstorms and fruit. killers, for the edification of the readers of the eastern press. S tK 1 . 4 , " "' . . 'J |