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Show truth THE 8ENATOR AND COG. she axed th owld mon phat it meant, I yer eye FIRE DRIVES TO DEATH peeled in th direcshun av faith. Kismet, Mary Ann, he th buildin' wid th white knob on it, does be a Turkish worrud an manes an kapo yer ear to th groun ye Carcasses of Wild Animals Choke a Fate. An it does, Cog. Fate what might hear somethin an see some-Laxe in Washington State. In a special dispatch from Tacoma, does tings to yez sometimes. Twas thin before long. Me vice is fer not Wash., ago, the strange story Fate sint me here an twas Fate war. Tis th only way I does be was told oflong a in Clarke county lake what elictid th apostil. Well, wan av cornin havin Th back here. peoda-awas choked with the bodies of that th misthress an th dawter does be always standin be th wild animals driven into it by fierce was afther wantin somethin an they ple rings th bell fer Mary An. Sure, administrashun in war times an be forest fires. L. E. Duval, a timber she didnt come an they rings agin. th same token Tmm a rt av cruiser for the Northern Pacific rail She didnt come, sure more, Cog, so tells the following story about th administrashun. ierra, but Im road, they rings agin. This time th gurrul in San Francisco Bulletin: the it kem down. 'Phat do yez mane be not fer maintainin' th Munroe docthrin The lake about one acre is ansrin th bell, Mary Ann? sez th wid all its Im fer in extent, and I only have frequently visowld Av ye plaze, maam, tellin th lmpidint sons av St. ited the place before. When passing Biddy, its mesilf as was upan tli graut atin, beer guz- near the spot several days ago I nostairs washin me Kismet an couldnt George zlin Garmins that well knocw th ticed a smell, and turned come down 'till Id on me stockins. divil out av thim av they dont get aside to peculiar I an investigation. make Tis a good sthory, Cog, so tis. I back to their Im fer sus- found the surface of the lake one mass towld it to Father Finnegan wan time tainin the principle av Republics in of an he said to me, Go wan, ye rogue, deer, foxes, bears, wolves and all an fer tramplin down America bout I take e fer ye to talkin about th line an the small varieties of animals that th th unycor-r-r-a poor gurrul loike thot. roam in our woods. The lake is in a av th conkerin St St what smeared th blood av me an- deep hollow between the hills, and the cestors all over County Meath. Im fire had encircled it at a great discontinued the Dye knaw, Cog, fer cho'ppin th tops av th hydra- tance in the first place, crowding tosenator, as he helped himself to a headed burrud on th black banner av ward the lake by degrees, and at last third offering of that famous combi- th Dutchmin. Im fer war, Cog. driving every living animal that had nation of filling eatables known to the Bloody war. Ill stay at home an see made its home in the woods for miles Dutch as Pennsylvania ponhaus, to t that iveryting goes right an around into the lake, to be slowly and to the balance of civilization as will sind chaplins inty th fierce heat. fasther than all th' guns what was roasted to death before the knaw an Ive scrapple. of The whole surface the water Dye ljee iver invinted can kill thim. Do ye in me head that th counthrys goin me a speech. Ill spake it was covered with carcasses, and how to hov a bit av a scrap over this phen th toime comes all right, all many deep they were I had no means of knowing. From the remains of matther? Yerra, but av it right. Arramusha perhaps me shud come an wed a cbanst to get not so shart as sove av th scara- otner animals near by I surmise that back home wud hov it." some tried to escape through the cir' afther th Dutchmin an th Sasse-nach- s mouches cle of death. I have heard that in Jl Jl phat a toime Id be havin, sure. And then the senator ate a couple such supreme moments the fiercest Luk at th chaplins in th of dozen cookies and started out to animals forget their ferodity. SomeI cud be gettin appintid. I gues yer do another days work as a states- thing like that must have occurred Untie Tommy wuddekit be th big man. here, for bears, deer, wolves, mink and o wid th push thin. squirrels were indiscriminately minNot avin Reed cud sthop me frm For accident Insurance see War ret gled in the mass. Probably the only struggle was for lodgment on the cornin back here. So av yell kape Foster. 300 Progress build log. backs of the already dead animals. Numbers of the people living remote from that region were making pilgrimages to the lake to view the spectacle. sa-ay- Truth Bureau, No. 41144 X Street. (By Special Marconigraph.) Washington, D. v,., a vO. 6. The sen-athas been so busy during the season, attenumg levees, soirees and at nomes that he has not been doing much else. The senator seems to like it, and as a result of the good living his form is even more rotund than it was when he left Zion. said the senator, Cog, me bye, as they sipped their coffee at the inorn. ing meal, dye knaw Ive jist refrm home what ceived a call no fer to wote agin th I'd oranybuss bill, or rather to be paired on th same wid th distinguished gazabo what wud hov woted ier it had he or ante-Lent- en . pa-ap- er sa-a- ys been there. 'twasnt ayther in o, -- Thrib nor th Tiligram what found fault. Ive thim too well broke in, Cog. Tis they what knaws whos th idiotor av th pay roll. 'Twas wan av these whats printid little counthry in Logan, an Bingham, an Price an Provo bad cess to that town; tis phere femoot lives. I lave it to yersilf, Cog, av me acshun wasnt in th line an I hov av not had th time, what wid th round av gayety an jyousness, to luk inty th bill ike I should have done, but wid me meager Ive to justify mesilf in wnat I did. Whin th bill kem up in th sinate th other I wus readin in' Tara in th Irish Worrul an paid no attinshun to phat was befoor our awgust body 'till me name was called. Kear-r-m- s says th dark. Mr. Prisi-dint- ,' I arisin frm me sate. th Th sinator frm Yutaw, sa-aowld carpse what wields th hammmer. I rise in me I, wid pa-ape- rs pro-gre- ss int. inior-mash- da-a- con-clud-- un id corre-spondin- y, sa-ay- ce s, ys sa-a- pla-ac- e, ys th requist that th distingished ll inform me what pres-sidTh befure th sinate, I s. phats mon wid th th Omnybus bill, name like two eggs straight up. Im paired wid th distinguished sinator Av he was frm Maryland, VI s. an I wud wote bill here he wud fer th gor-soo- n, es sa-ay- sa-a- 7 s, y, par-r-r-r-- rammy-fucasnun- s. la-ad- sa-a- y. ys ca-age- s. sha-am- im-bli- m, dis-prado- ms es ar-rrr- pre-pa- Ven-esueli- re an da-a- ys : High-muck-a-- yu ys WHEN YOU TRANSACT BUSINESS OTEB Y0UR TELEPHONE sa-ay- woe agin it, I sa-ay- is sinate an agin th Yes s. ex-cu- se acciptid, he breathed more freer. sa-ay- s, Jl sa-a- ys Jl I've mintion-e- d that in pairin' as I did I was Now, Cog, th m pa-ap- er wotin agin th bist inthrists av th west. I dont see it that way. As I said befoor, I havent read th bill so 1 as to be quite I wid its but phat do wew ant wid an av omnybuss bill in these da-afa-mil- con-tint- s, yar ys an pro-gris- s? You Want To Be Certain No One is Listening. Im not in en-litem- int fa- vor av th omnybuss, Cog, no more than Im in favor av th harse car or th jauntin ca-a-r. Phat I wants is to woe fer an autymobill bill. Av th squint eyed sinator frm Pencilvany ll intro jooce an autymobill bill, yer Uncle Tommy '11 fall over his own fate recordin himsilf in its favor. Sure that worrud fate does be remindin me av a sthory, Cog alanna. Yerra, but 'twas a god wan. I don't knaw who 'twas was afther tellin it to me; it hov ben that little scut Bob Sloan bad scran to him but twas a good wan. A granehorn girrul, fresh frm th owld dart kem over here an got a job worrukin fer a Protestant ministher an he towld her whiniver she hear-r-r-r- d annyting she did was what talkin about they not understan to come an ax him on the quiet an hed tell her. Well, wan day she hear-r-r-- d th minis-ther- g an dawter sayin,, Kismet, The 7lah Home telephone Co . . m W bjolul .Vtcncy Cuaranttaj yabjcnbtrj. to ft The old annoying system of party tines has been abolished. X No waiting until your neighbor gets through orders ing groceries, or telling her friend all about ihe party last night Every sulv scriber has a complete circuit of his own $ --- RATES CUT IN TWO. &he Instrument s flnd Sac fill be of Our Solicitors Will Tell You About It When they Cell. - Like His Famous Father. Gen. Fred Grants resemblance the Latest Most Improved Manufacture . Peculiarity of Japanese Women. Did you ever see a woman shaving herself? asked a traveling man. Well, its a funny sight, but you must go all the way to Japan to witness it, for the Japanese are the only people in the world whose women shave. They have a certain day in the week I think it is Friday for this operation. They use no lather, but warm wrater alone, and they shave not only the face and neck, but the forehead also. They are very quick and get through the whole process in a minute or two. Nor is it strange that they are quick, for they have no more hair on their faces than any other women. Shaving with them is, in fact, a mere matter of form a religious ceremony, and not a thing of necessity. But in some cases this constant shaving develops beards in old Japanese women, and then they must ply the razor to some purpose. The habit never, though, causes a growth upon the forehead, and yet the foreheads of Japanese women are shaved weekly from their girlhood till their death. Hi) to his father is startling. The Philippines and Texas have rendered the once modish young man of society rugged, as a soldier should be. His beard and hair, formerly of the reddish hue, are darker, with here and there a streak of gray, and, as they are worn exactly like his fathers, you can see old Unconditional Surrender approaching as he comes up Broadway. The general is a head taller than the great American soldier. |