Show THE TOOELE TIMES T AEs C T STONEY ELE UTAH p lat us ua have only denatured automo bue races aro are the auto anto races trying to make maka bull fights appear humane still at its new price radium will hardly be a substitute forcial for coal tho the now 5 bills will bo be smaller appropriate they act smaller connecticut woman earned last year selling eggs the real thing so far none of our aviators has been successful enough to break into vaudeville all the pessimist can see in an aero plan flight la Is a big crowd and a stiff neck A buffalo man was given five years for stealing a cent something of a sentence cen tence that new york bank thief collapsed when ho he was arrested lie he was a close second to the bank someone has estimated that the earth weighs seven trillion tons dut but cheer cupl youre not carrying it it that war in nicaragua cost lives men have not yet discarded the bloodletting blood letting system in politics the doctor who thinks that the adams apple Is responsible for insanity may be on the eve of a great discovery venezuela consumes gallone of kerosene a year why somebody start an electric light plant down there joy riding in the air has this advantage there are no chickens to be run over the birds have so far succeeded in dodging in south norwalk conn lives a heroic young woman who played tennis tends in a hobble bobble skirt naturally she broke her leg when the aeroplanes aero planes dash around the course at the rate of a mile a minute they never kick up any clo clouds ads of microbe laden dust if shark meat over ever crowds crowds beet in the worlds markets a shortage of rain on an the great plains will make no difference in the quality As AB a general thing when a girl wears much auch an extreme hat that a man has to dislocate his neck to took look under it her face la Is not worth the effort the greatest authority on love in the world la Is dead calm yourself ladles ladies its an italian professor the authoress of poems of passion still lives 1 A woman of sixty years swam five miles in the mississippi river at st louls louis tho the other day it to Is needless needles to may aay that she did not wear a bobble skirt bob evans tolls tells us that an airship Is a plaything and would be of no use in war but what will dob bob do when those bombs begin dropping down tho the chimney chicago man marries for the first time at the age of ninety two hell have to do some tall hustling to catch up with the average chicago record from now on that poughkeepsie society woman whose pearl necklace was confiscated by the customs officials might have bave had bad it yet if sho she could only have kept it under her hat bat the waiters now ask to be divided into classes excellent ideal walters waiters who wait waiters who make customers wait waiters who are polite and waiters who are otherwise A little while ago the cheering word was passed that lobsters would become more plentiful now it la is threatened that there will be a shortage of salmon and sardines it may be none of our business but we trust that the sororities will deal gently with the eighty one year old wenan who has entered the ohio state university as a student A kansas city woman suing for divorce charged that her husband quarreled with her for going to a funeral some men are so BO moan mean they hate their wives to have any pleasure at all eighty two pounds of sugar for every man woman and child last yearl the men may offer thanks that the women and children got theirs A connecticut nun man fired ten bullets in his head without fatal results it Is hard to jell ell which was greater the persisting force of his determination or the restating resisting quality of his brains that incident in naples where two strangers trying to give candy to children were ware suspected by the panic stricken people of spreading th the e cholera and mobbed with cries of death to the prisoners poison polso nerg ers shows how little progress has been made since the days daya of the clague in some rome places |