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Show hr Page B5 (Ttmrs-3nhrpfnbr- Thursday, October 11, 2001 nt Risk of sexual assault is high in cases of physical abuse A woman who is abused by her spouse physically and emotionally might also be subjected to sexual assault. According to the National Victim Center, Rape in America, 1992, approximately 1 in 10 women in the United States have reported rape by their spouse or partner. Nicholas Groth, w ho wrote Men Who Rape, defines mari- tal rape as forcible sexual assault on an unwilling partner, which includes taking advantage of sexual access, forcing one's spouse to participate in acts that the spouse finds unacceptable. Groth listed five causes for marital rape: 1. Sex Power. This husband rules his w ife and is the epitome of the domineering, patriarchal spouse. He has the right to force his wife in the area of sexual relations. 2. Sex Love. This male is insecure and he suffers from low As a result, he believes that if his wife does not desire to have sex with him, then she doesnt love him. If he forces sexual relations, that afliims his worth even though she has agreed because of force. self-estee- 3. Sex Virility. Sex is proof of manhood and coercing ones w ife is a sign of that manhood. In our society, sexuality is based on conquest and domination of a woman by a man. This conquest proves a males masculinity and illustrates his power, superiority and ability to control. 4. Sex Debasement. Sex is an expression of hostility, of punishing a wife, of teaching her a lesson. If the wife refuses, the ability to force her shows her w ho is 'boss, and reminds her of the consequences of such a refusal. 5. Sex Panacea (a cure-all- ) For this husband, sex is a solution to a problem in the form of reconciliation. If the wife can be "persuaded" to engage in sexual relations, then he feels that the marriage is okay. Recovering from the effects of marital rape can be complicated. First, the survivor may not recognize that she was sexually violated, and she may not think that her feelings of fear, revulsion, depression or anger are related to the rape. Second, the survivor may still love her spouse, and feel terribly torn and confused and experience a loss of self-estee- Other difficulties may arise for the women if the er is the economic provider for the family, or the father of her children. For women in this situation, a decision to confront the perpetrator, report the crime or even try to escae would mean risking loss of income, loss of home or children, fear of retaliation, lack of support and low Some women feel its necessary to put up with the sexual violence in order to prevent their partner from carrying out other extreme forms of violence against them. Follow ing is a list of things you can do to help someone you know who is in an abusive relationship Proclamation kicks off Domestic Violence Awareness activities self-estee- Eastern Utah AH EC at CEU in Price and the Grand County Domestic Violence Coalition cosponsored the Domestic Violence Awareness Rally Oct. 4, in Moab. The theme of the rally w as Peace Begins At Home. The fifty participants were able to ride the Moab Skyway tram, see beautiful scenery, listen to music, hear presentations and have refreshments. Mayor Karla Hancrx k read a 1 tional, verbal, physical, or proclamation making October Domestic Violence Awareness month. Dr. Elaine Weiss, author of Surviving Domestic Violence: Voices of Women Who Broke Free," spoke about community involvement and how small random acts of kindness can make a difference in peoples lives. She used herself an example of how someone helped her w ithout ever knowing it. Weiss stated that she 0333331 Point out the different . types of abuse. Abuse can be emo- Moab Mayor Karla Hancock (left) displays a proclamation with author Elaine Weiss. sexual. 2. Express your concerns and validate her feelings. 3. Help your friend to see they are not to blame for the violence and that changing their txhavior will not stop the abuse. 4. Help her develop a safety plan to help keep her safe. 5. Tell her about Seekhaven and the services they provide for Gifts for Seekhaven . . . On Tuesday, October 3, Mary Black and friends Anne Marie Scow and Melissa Auxier paid a visit to Seekhaven Family Crisis and Resource Center in Moab. The three women came with their arms loaded down e bath kits to donate. The bath kits contained fresh towwith and many other items that can be given to deodorants els, shampoos, women who come to stay in the shelter. Each kit is a little different from the other and even contain hand written notes of care and encouragement for whoever receives the bag Black and her friends delivered over 25 bags and they have offered to continue to replenish the supply Seekhaven offered thanks to the three women and others from the LDS Fourth Ward Relief Society for their effort put into this project. hand-mad- lence victims of domestic violence and sexual violence. Seekhavens Domestic Violence Services include: A safe shelter for women and children A safe shelter provided for men e counseling for domestic violence or sexual vio SupjKirt groups for women and children Emotional support and vocacy for victims Resource materials Follow-uservices 24 hour hotline: or p 259-222- One-on-on- was in an abusive marriage for eight years when one day she and her husband were walking down a street in New York City. As they stopped for a traffic light, Elaine pointed out a beautiful building with trees and a garden on top if it. Ilefconl panion remarked OTGCItnHD t)3o surly, "Which one? They all look the same. A small woman in front of the two swirled around and said "Shes right, that is a beautiful building," and pointing her finger at the husband said, And you, my friend are a horses ass." The light changed and everyone went on their way but through that small encounter she had been validated and Weiss realized it wasnt her that was the problem - it was him. Domestic violence is not just HOW TO GET SATELLITE TV FOR NO MONEY DOWN. PEGASUS DIGITAL ONE PLAN' POPULAR FEATURES: NO EQUIPMENT TO BUY Rather, it is a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors, in- cajirrificco-in- cluding psychological, sexual, and physical abuse, used by an individual to hurt, dominate, and control an intimate partner." 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