Territorial Enquirer | 1881-02-09 | Page 4 | Wit and Humor

wit and humor never try tor fly go to sloe elce with na an old oat coat lor for a pillow there is no lie such thing as getting a nap ou oil it just tako take a bottle otias of my medicine a quack doctor to 0 o it a consumptive and never cough again 11 I 1 Is s it so 80 fatal na as that 2 gasped tile the patient gail hamilton bays girls cannot afford to bo be wild and yet runny many n will wild girl laa has boon been subdued by some nomo nice luce fellow fello w enst n 11 t baying 1 i n I 1 ja PI i to her i I 1 philadelphia ill del atia bulletin 11 shall wo we dance 1 asks the Hyra cuso standard it if yon blip on a campot tack or run your banu hone against agni alok 1 lag chair when in n search of the booth 1 mg I 1 lf syrup syrup wo we bet yon 11 dimco the boll boys boya of a hotel are all biame 1 l front the cherlin call thain by any other name they aro are called front because when sent bont out alit it is never cover known when they will bo be back now york picayune mark twain broeking Brot ore king aking of u now mos baito netting writes rites the day 1 IB i I 1 coming when wo we shall sit fit under 0 oar ur nets in church anil and slumber peacefully while the discomfited ilion hies club together and take it out of the minister ra pa whit what is IB tho the lap of 0 luxury 21 rather father 11 hush I 1 you yon must not talk ot of each bach things my boy you yon tire aro too young yet I 1 got into onu one when your mother was a girl with a A agh but she is old now and you yon cant ca I 1 hend bond tho following letter was received ved by flu an recently from an widower bar my wait waif is deil dea and wants to be bernod tomorrow to morrow at klock kiosk U nose weir wair to dig the itolo hole hy the side ride of my other two walls waita let it bo be deep rune punch gives tho the following as an ex amplo of self boy bay to a lady visitor teacher I 1 theres there a a gal over met there hero t it ft at me mal teacher well wall dont don t look at her boy but it if I 1 dont don t look nt at her shoil wink at somebody alsol professor david swing siring says say a I 1 I 1 tho the charm of fishing liia partly in t he bo fact that it is a pursuit after the unknown and the unseen and the ardently expected and partly in the fact that tho the fresh freall trout or bass basaur or mackerel mno kerol or 01 bluefish is a rare dish for the tha table A handsome girl entered a dry goods house honeo for a bow the polite clerk throw himself back and romar kod keI that ho he was waa at her service 11 yes but I 1 want a buff bow not a green one was vib tho the reply tho the young man wont went on mass tiring goods immediately perhaps hall half the women who have passed the summer bummer in trying to got up a good stuck of health will run it out in about a mouth month in worry when house cleaning time comes oar present modo mode of housekeeping is III too elaborate and a almost most a fa failure ilura floston f if transcript ile iia solid said ho he was waa baili bashful ful an anil J blushed painfully and asked her it if she could spell bashful blie baia sho she might do 10 it on a pinch and spelled it bi b i a 5 h f 0 0 I 11 I 1 then ho he looked uneasily at her and began to wonder if sho she was unlit tenably ignorant or superlatively sar bar castio joint as a brooklyn citizen called his five year old soa sea into the house the other day a playmate gave the tha boy bor a I 1 slap in ia the faoa face and he be ran to his father tor for protection my ton ion said the fond father when a boy hits you yon like that you yon ranst must always strike back oh ob papa I 1 didi I 1 hit him yesterday an exchange says that I 1 I 1 up in new hire ire you can for 3 CO purchase 0 a barrel of cider with a 14 yellow dog I 1 thrown in yen yea but hang it who wants a barrel of cider into which a yellow how log dog has ban been thrown beaton RI post doubtless tho the bark was added to the cider to give it a little more tone 11 any amy letter lor for me asked a young woman of A female postmaster in ia a country town 11 no wast waa the reply 11 barango Bt said tho the disappointed one to herself as she earned away 11 nothing strange about it orvoil the fe female male postmaster through the delivery win window 11 you aint answered the taa last lotter he sent youl at al breakfast a remarkable light omo oma 0 lette letta is served at a moment when every cne is engaged iu in a dee deeply y interesting conversation the tha amele fl to is ia neglected and begins to settle fettle down Upon lits appetizing ail laces bathe enormous disgust 3 of the little daughter ol of the house who exclaims 11 oh ob tan ma ia do burryl tho the is enting eating itself I 1 I 1 what are you yoa laughing nt at asked Sop sophocles hooles ol of as they stood at the tha side aide of the stage and looked over tho the vast audience at al all those athenian don donkeys keyo answered X Cio hylus who have paid from dye to ten drachma tor for the tha privilege of listening to this persian actress when they dont don I 1 understand one word ebe raye bays fauck dean bean stanley was wait not equalito equal to his llis appo opportunities rt unities when he be performed the I 1 marriage oer ceremony eMODY of prof irol tyndall the dean should have asked the groom do bo you take this to bo be your ordinate coordinate co to love with your nerve nerva cen centers torn to cherish with your whole celI cellular tissue until a aral mo me leollar disturbance shall resolve its ita or into its primitive items atoms vl i 11 adolphus ray my dear said sho she 11 its nearly a year since you first ant began to call yes I 1 believe so nerv nervously onely an and weve eve talked about books slid and MUD ensio ia every night Y y e s I 1 think so oo moro more nervous than before well I 1 1 I dout dont 3 on oil think a change woula would ba shore ilore was waa 11 a change 1 in a low few weeks time the ahe pastor rad 3 it anew new haven register Ke gister A danville paper tells tella of a mar man who fainted dead away while being measured for a suit of clothes it was not so much fin en account of the novelty of the thing as the fact that he ha happened to glanco glance up no at the back end of the store load and bali saw tho legend no trust clothing killers dealers should have more to rc ril raid tor for the health of f their customers the dreary sign terms Cas cash hhas has prostrated many a fair and 11 promising youth I 1 norristown herald harald we have received it a story entitled 11 A dark deed which is ia respectfully declined the first chapter opens with it is midnight this is ia all right it is ia olten often midnight at least seven 1 times timea A beok k but bat the author forgot to add 11 bad and silence brooded blooded over the city cily this is ia a wall overnight hi 61 lenoa lence always broods brondi over the city when in works of oft lotion fiction but nowhere elmo we cant print a story in which silence t brood at mid herald I 1 ii I 1 1 1 IV