| Show theatrical nuisances the principal reason wily why there is such a liro large attendance at the abea tree lit that on the stage vil blany in is i pun puni had abod and virtue is re warded which is seldom the iha case cam in in raal lire life blost people are lovers lorn of justice anil and are anra will willing ing to pas baj money to see ace it carried on out t even it if it is only on the tha stage ono one day last week being desirous of seeing a villian punished I 1 went early to the theatre and got a very nice seat beat in the th orchestra I 1 had an unobstructed view ot of the stags stag e then tills the orchestra like a candid candidate ate on election day began gradually to fill tip up then nay my trouble 8 18 ia usually ally tha case there was VIM a wo woman man at the bottom ol 01 it my trouble was a big tall hat the ostrich feather on the top ot of which seemed to tickle hickla the tha big chandelier chere was a woman at the bottom of this hat bat and she aha sat right in front of me and obstructed my view ot of the middle to of the tage stage where thavil tha villain laiti as aa a general thing gives up the ghost I 1 waa congratulating myself with the tha hops hope that the villain might poss poasi 1 bly perish mi miserably serab on the tha side aide of 0 the tage stage and id have ato a chance t to 0 gloat over bior him when another female femal I 1 oama came in and sat at alongside alon gsida of the one already mentioned she sha lad had on oil a hat bat that had bad a mower flower garden gardell on oa the root roof it closed out entire entirely ir the ibe view on the left unless ehg villain was wan kind enough to beriah on the ex tr trema e right my chances oban cea of him draw raw his bit last breath were very slime slim 1 I saw very little of 0 what waa ayas happening during th first act thera was waa a mat maa tilting sitting next to me I 1 think ho he was f from rom th the a west when the tha curtain went want down he bo went want out suffering buffering with rage the hats hata having n b I 1 his big view too ife he must havo have been a medium for lie ie had bad it a spirit call between each act afi AB he passed out he almost knocked the paired ts tall homana womans hat oil off with his big elbow and ho he trod on my toes be besides hides when he ha came backie almost knock ed the other hat offard walked about soine some more on my corns the ladies looked around at him but he never quailed qu ailed such is the stimulating effect ol of a ha ia anat taming mg to me he saad lir iff a chikey laden whisper 1 I wish the men man in the theatres theartres the atres would put on their tall hats bats just to see how bow the woman would like it 1 I have road I 1 replied that so Bome me gollius genius has haa invented a theatre had bat that shuts abuts up the same game to be worn by ladies 11 A tall ladies theatre hat that shuts abuts down would answer abo purpose bet bat ter said gaid be 1 I was reading apiece in the paper ehg tha other day ay that in corea women w wear r bats bat in in and out of doors which vary tary in height from three to six feet and that there has bag n not 0 t been baon i a theatrical performance in cores tor for the tha last tour four years I 1 dont wonder atit at it continued the inetri ate winking at me m I 1 think the ladies in iron front of us n must have overheard our conversa con verea tion tor for one said laid to the other syl ayi dently talking at us gusils its Ils a pity some genius cant invent that will hold a man in his hii seat between the bets acts yes replied the other lady but in instead st ad of I a hat that can lie be shut up in wa a theatre a man who cc could a ld be be desirable 14 0 o shut hut up would very the inebriate winced a little and as said id to me an eminent scientist attributes the tha extraordinary longevity of a woman who wb died in boston at the age ot of it hundred and fourteen to the tact fact that she wore a high bat hatin in ona OD ot of the tall hats hata bobbed about in indignantly dig as aa the owner remarked I tho iha vigorous health of p a philadel man now in in his one ona hundredth year is due to the fact that ho he never an brint tout put between the acts to make etro astronomical comical observations through a glass and came back with a breath a trong strong enough to draw a full house thera them is a consolation remarked the man from tle the west in case there lit ii a fire the woman with a big hit hat will hive have it jammed down over her eyes and she will never get out cut alive alite 11 the woman with tle the flower garden on tho the dome of her hat bat was waa silent for a 2 moment tent and then she eho said tho the man who kee keeps ll 11 his mouth shut ahat never lots leta th the abo public a know what an igno ramos hp ha a is 16 she bad the last word for the western man had temporarily exhausted bis his ammunition he made no rel reply there were several people in our immediate vicinity who made other people w who I 1 talk remarks remark too much about in the theatre one ona suggested ing that some people who brought their months pt W with oele th them in to the theatre should be compelled to leave thorn them outside and rat hot a check for thorn them as is done with umbrellas at the art gallery I 1 left the theatre before the performance was waa over I 1 gal to see the stage at all I 1 was dazed by the conversation ot of the tha western ro anand I 1 limp p yet from the injuries my toes bus sustained to ined by h his a walking about on them ir there no way to suppress the three great theatrical nuisances v viz iz tall hats irrelevant conversation conver Bation and going out between the acas lai alix ix in for february |
