Show b a Nothing us ua newspaper people like much better than guest writ esp r ra especially lallY on a week Ilk like Which is wl why y Im I'm screaming Thanks Reed Pace for his howling st story ry of Christmas Christmas Christ mss mas mas Eve with the County Treas Treas- Christmas Eve 1961 1981 was quite eventful and unforgettable It started out about as usual with the tho kids getting the stockings bung hung and all the excitement that goes with Christmas Eve We finally landed the little darlIngS darlings darl darts ings In bed and sat down to relax awhile before turning In Mother had been invited to spend the night with a a. sister so about an hour and several dozes later haler I 1 decided to check things over ver at mothers mother's house When I 1 tamed on the light there standing stand Jug ing looking mo me square in the eye was the cutest tittle little black blaek and white spotted kitten I 1 had seen even in fn a long while My ly first Impulse Wal was to run and aDd grab that cat and bodily evict him from the house houle but the he long bushy tall the pointed nose and the beady eyes changed chang chang- ed my mind right quick like The second l Im luie waa was to get the most experienced man matr in the field o or of Flock Black l k and nd white kitten that I 1 could fI find d to help elp eo o I went t to the phone and called I i ithe the head headman man of the skunk works Big Dig Crittenden He lie i admitted that than I 1 had trouble but agree agreed II to come and help IDy i iBy By Dy this time my wife had arrival ar arrive ar- ar rival rive on the scene and had watched watch watch- watch watch-I ed d little kitty go into the front front room We Wo took up our vigil wait wait- tog for the help to arrive and and J I making sure eure that Mr or Mrs kitty would still be there When Ted finally arrived some one hour and 28 minutes later actually only ten minutes the search for fOI forthe forthe the little intruder began We first very cautiously looked look look- ed d under all the furniture be be- hind anything that was WM standing I and In all the corners but to no avail avaU lie he had simply ply given us ue the slip We had become quite brave by now so the search boc became me more aggressive We tore the i furniture all aU apart ripped the I covers off the couch opened the book cupboard scattered the book around the room tore up the rug from the floor shook all th the papers lapels opened all th the Christmas Christmas Christ Christ- mas mae packages gee Im I'm glad mother was not home got in the back of the television set and turned It on commenting If hes he's hesI I there he should get a big charge out of this I No kitty By this time the neighbors neighbor the had hadI I arrived to offer assistance and andI I sympathy so ao we sat down down amongst the debris to regroup I our forces and plan the next I step I In the attack I As I look back on It now I am amaure sure eure that Ted was waa not convinced I that that there was anything there in inthe inthe I Ithe the first place lIe He kept making little remarks such II as usually I when Ihen I I Iam am called out there is something to go for Reed It Jl you were scared why you call the sheriff I have heard of or jokes and pranks being played on April Fools Day and Halloween but never on Christmas I IThe The only place that we had not l searched thoroughly was the heat heat- crola so Ted opened the door I and said It looks pretty hot for lor him to be hid In here but just justas as liS he was closing the door he noticed a little piece of fur sticks stick stick 1 I I ing down between the fire box and the outside of ot the stove i There was waa the little kitty as sc contented con cons I tented and sweet smelling as a any little cat could could be 1 We Immediately started to I Itry try and get him to come out I 1 We e c coaxed swore swore teased pok I ed begged pleaded threatened and even offered burnt offerIngs offerings offer offer- I Ings but he would not budge from his sanctuary Finally about 2 am a.m. Christmas Christmas' mornIng morning morn- morn I Ing hig we wc decided the only thing we wc could do was to take down I the stove and lug It outside for forthe I the duration I The Tho hole in the chimney was right up next to the ceiling and by standing on a chair we could just see where the elbow turned Into the chimney so eo we started to pull Down tumbled the stovepipe stovepipe stove tove pipe all five joints joint and all full tull of soot The stove now began to smoke violently filling the house housew with w Ith soot and smoke We Wo finally got th the stove out on th ibs front from nt lawn D and decided that wo we would stoke up the fire tIre and I either eaber furce force him out or have boast t skunk k We were pretty hungry hungry hun hun- gry gly anyway We i poured the wood to the t fire tire and aud in no time Dime It ft w was S as really warm he be little le fellow H U. U to move About bu but Mil atilt would not come COWe out Finally he ho started running around th the bottom of ot the stove tove anti ami Ted Tod reached an and caught him by the taU tail ant and begun began pulling hind him bodily out The tIu I smoking fur tur on un top of or orthe the tall tail was almost on ns potent as ae the odor emerging from the underside underside un of the tail tall One final tug and out he came and right smack mack In my eye I ran for tOI mothers bathroom to wash my wife yelling get out of here you ou stink bu but I dont don't care car I have hava I Ito to get gt soap in my eye ye to ea ease the tho stink I washed them out till I could stand It and my wife wit says laY you yon cant can't go home homo homem smelling m Ilk like that I said I couldn't couldn goIn go goin in their place ao 0 o I did the only call i I thing that was waa w left peeled ott oft my DY clothes anI and commenced to bury burl them Cold Cod frozen ground h hud hard rJ burying aloi along g about bout In the morning 1 t br broke ke the record for tot forthe forthe the hundred yard dash right about then 8 seconds flat I ch checked next morning just five bare tool barefooted ed tracks track in one hundred yards I 1 had heard Ted Say that maple- maple flavoring was good to rid oneself oneself one self Belt of ot the odor so I 1 grabbed a bottle from the cu cupboard board and dumped It on top of my head I then waited it started U to drip I drip on the floor before belore me smearing It around Now I 1 smell Amell like pancake pans pan cake syrup I J checked cheeked fr for Santa Banta Claus he hod hadn't nt been yet The back door opened I heard him sniff then gag and Ind out he went again This went on several during the next hour before he finally succeeded In completing hit his task talk of ruling filling the stock Ings About am a.m. I finally hit hlL the Ute sack k My wife says I moved she ehe couldn't stand the smell emell an and l now it Jt was in the sheets ts so BO back to the shovel and the burying grounds our best t sheets sheet too loo I think about I must have dozed off because the next thing I remember look was look at my new bike da dad l. l That was Merry Christmas nas I Ho o Ho Reed Reed Pace I |