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Show THE BULLETIN TALL TALES 8 to: As Told ADVENTURERS' National Topics Interpreted by William Bruckart Nation! Praas WASHINGTON. Some years sgu when It ml Smoot of Utah was a member of the senate Smoot where he enjoyed a n,l merltorlons Prophecy service, he ventured a prophecy. It wss thla: "The coat of government haa increased every year, and It will continue to increase. I care not what party la In power, that result will ob- '"f tain." As I rerall. Senator Smoot's statement waa made about eight years ago and It was made at a time when tbe Republicans, of whom the Utah aenatnr waa one, were In control In the senate. Ills statement came a a result of an Immense amount of Jiliea that were being hurled at the Republican majority. The Pemnorsts were having a grand time, kidding the Republicans who were then In muiilele control of the government. Senator Rmont rerug nixed that which few In rpRpoiiallile wmitlnim in the or If tliey did government recognise the fart, they chose not to admit It Neverthi'li-mi- . the senHtnr's statement la true today as It was true when he mmle It and fur ni.iny years fcefore. The Smixil priiplirrv 'uimhi to tnlnd f Mm- - xmlilcn acceleranow berause tion of moves to riirtuil government expenses, to renrgnulxe the acnda of New Prnil and eiiii'rsenry agencies, to eliminate nverliippiii; functions among these agenrlea. and, In general, to put the house of Government In order. Two anrh efforts are nnderwny. One of them wna Initlnted by Senntor Harry F, Byrd. Virginia Pernor nit, who succeeded In ohiafnliii! aonnte recognition of hla charges tliiit there wns .waate. thut there were useless agenrlea anil that. In addition, functions were being governmental generally messed up bfcnuHe none except the old established units of government knew whnt they were doing. The Virginia scnntor obtnlned adoption of a resolution providing for a general survey and recommendations It was a sltuntlon In for the clean-up- . which even the most anient New Dealers could not find an excuse for objecting to It So the senntor took the lead. President Roosevelt Subsequently. readied the conclusion that something ought to be done In the way of untangling the tangled skein of governmental function an he proposed a survey under his direction, lie appointed a commit lee of experts to go over the problem. Thus, at the start, at least. It appears that the taxpayers are going to be favored by a "break. I think it ought to be added, however, that no one has had the temerity to suggest flint either the Ttyrd survey or that engineered by Mr. Roosevelt will yield very much. The survey promoted by Senator Byrd will dig np a good many helpful facta but there Is Dig Up every reason to Facts "ve that the Vlr-glnl- n was a Hints a few months ago when the national trend was decidedly sgalnst Mr. Roosevelt It even went to far as to cause many Individuals to say that Mr. Roosevelt would be defeated for Tbe picture around the first of April was quite different There Is In Washington quite s general feeling thst the Roosevelt chances have Improved and are continuing to improve. This condition Is quite evident to observers continuously on the Job here for even In the personal manner of the President himself there Is an outward appearance that he believes the situation Is well In hand. As far as I can discover, one reason why the New Dealers feel so much better Is that events leading up to the national Democratic convention aeera to be cleared of any harassing possibilities. I am sure thut It will be recalled how something like the bines overcame many New Deal stalwarts after former Gov. Alfred E. Smith of New York, 1028 Demncratlr Presidential candidate, let loose a blast at the New Deal In hla Liberty league dinner speech. I happened to be In position tn know that the Smith speech caused sll kinds of commotion and fear ninong New Deal lenders. They know, as everyone else knows, that "Al" Smith has a big personal following. When he threatened "to take a walk." he let loose a declaration that waa charged with dynamite and the New Dealers could not calculate how mnrh dynamite. Now, however, it apiiears quite certain that much of the danger inherent in the Smith declaration has been eliminated. Notwithstanding the Smith Indictment of the President for repudiation of platform promises- - and his description of the Roosevelt policies aa "a national menace," there Is going to be a pitifully small number of anti-NeDeal Democrats in the Philadelphia convention. Tbe number will be so small, In fort, that however vociferous they become, their shouts will be heard no more thnn the wail of a child In a storm. It waa to be expected, as I have reported to you before, that the routine type of Democratic politician will for-ge- t any differences he has with the New DenI and be regular at convention time and during most of the campaign. That type of politician, be he Republican or Democratic, cannot afford to bolt. If he holts, he nits off his own nnse and most politicians do not enjoy being for thnt Is tantamount tn being politically dehorned. So, while the Philadelphia convention of the Democrats may have some seething nndernenth the surface, It is without the realm of possibility that there can be any Important revolt against renoinlnntlnn of Mr. Roosevelt to Likewise, it Is Just as think that the platform which that convention will adopt for the campnlgn will not be exactly as Mr. Roosevelt dictates It. Actnnlly, there Is nothing on the horizon now to Indicate any changes from the way I have Just described It w d senntor will And many obstacles placed In his way and that be and hla committee will Inasmuch as the' New Dealers can be unable to present any comprehenproperly regard their situation pretty sive statement on their findings to the well In hand, they C. O. P. country In advance of the November naturally can feel a elections. The snme Is true concernin a Hole Dlt cocky over the difing the survey directed by the Presificulties In the Redent, only more so. The cold fact Is publican ranks. First the Repubthat there la no chance at all for the licans are at a disadvantage in that President's committee to even approach their convention tn Clevelnnd la tn he the stage of making recommendations held st an earlier date thnn tbe Demofrom their survey until long after the crats meet This, however. Is more elections are held. Frankly, each of real than apparent It Is thus because these surveys Is permeated with poli- of the tntrs-partbattles that appear tics, so much so that a straightforcertain tn come to the surface st Cleveward accounting or general description land The Republicans are not toof the sffnlrs of government will not gether, not unified, on anything. A be allowed to become public prnierty half dozen candidates with appreand thereby become a campaign Issue. ciable fnllowlngs are snapping at each Of the two. Senntor Ityrd's proposal other and two or three factions are has the better chance, but that Is announcing almost simultaneously what rather smnlL the platform Is going to sny. It Just Adverting to the Smoot prophecy. It cannot help leading Into a beautiful Is therefore of no great Importance mess at Clevelnnd unless the Repubwhether a thoroughgoing examination lican leaders show more intelligence of the governmental structure that has than they hsve shown thus far. grown up In the last three years under In the meantime, the Democrats are President Roosevelt Is made In ad- making note of the various buttle vance or the elections. These New Tou can be sure they will Deal sgencles have been created and cjiarges. use them. Whoever the Republicans these New Deal agencies, like many nominate at Cleveland necessarily fairs of the "Old Deal" agencies, are with a big fight but as the situation now ns to stay snd suck up taxuiyers' stands. I think the IViihmt: will be I need money for quite some time. able to make It an offensive campaign only remind you thnt we still have In whereas ordinarily the party In power existence the War Finance corporamust give over much of its campaigntion and the railroad administration to a delense Tlds Is true tinier ing e thnt were created as agentbe Republicans can get together and cies, not tn mention a dozen other sim- take the offensive themselves by cri'l-clzinilar units. and attacking on a united front. It Is possible, indeed. I think It Is much wuter can run unOr course, probable, that there will be s trimming before the November der the bridge In of pay rolls many of the New lHnl Is always ixmslble that It election. agencies Immediately after election mistakes, There certainly ought to he lniHirtnnt the party tn power can make under a Into the blind led be ran alley curtailment of Mnsea and of the Its opposition The list of employees, but accomplishing political guns of mnde mistakes that Is a matter much more easily de- Democrats buve anti-Ne- munyDeal oppobut the scribed than done. So, I feel safe In already no Indication of plans to shows sition or all this ado about a resaying that take advantage or those mlstiikes. So In duction governmental swelling or this time, glv amounts tn nothing mure thnn Just ado. the circumstances, as every reason for the New IValers to In making the statement above that the reel satisfied with the campaigning up time. outcry about reducing the government to this t) Wmims Nsvapawar Unlos. pay roll and untang-NeDeal the functions la Emblem J Two U Croii SpiritBXue hoo. I much ballythink It ought Greece and Switzerland have a cross to be suld at the aame time that as the chief emblem in their arms, the New IH'hI spirits are rising. There former silver, the latter white. y war-tim- g w ELMO SCOTT WATSON CLUB Washington, D. C - Building- FRANK E. IIAGAN and mm The Double Tragedy A d "The Iron Tomb" By FLOYD GIBBONS Famous Headline Huntsr. nIofLLTortup those lemonade glasses and drink a toast to Alex Mackail N. Y. Fill can the J- - Chester, longest, tallest glasses you up up one for each of the thirty thousand members of the Adventurers' club and still you won't be drinking as big a toast as the one Alex himself almost drank. Alex started working on a tall, cool one that was 20 feet long and 12 feet high. And no lemon juice or sugar in it, either. It was only by find FEW years ago a group of forty Chicago and Milwaukee newspaper men were guests of the Milwaukee railroad and Rocky Wolfe, now a widely known radio snort commentator, on a week-enouting In Wis. Among the extraordinary sights of the resort town were live porcupines strolling about a nine-hol- e golf course played by the scribes and a mother hawk, whose broad back and spread wings were used by three baby hawks aa a landing stage, high above ground. A dormant appreciation of Nature having been awakened In the minds of the visiting city folks, they were treated hy Wolfe to the prize atory of the vicinity. A Manltowlsh hunter, according to Rocky, reported that he had shot a fox which had a dead porcupine In Its mouth. The fox was already dead when shot, for the spines of the porcupine had killed It It was learned later, Rocky averred, that the porcupine had been a pet which earned a living by carrying fruit n its back from Its owner's orchard to the cider mill. "And I am ashumed to report, gentlemen," Wolfe concluded, "that both animals were Intoxicated when the double tragedy occurred." fill the sheerest luck that he managed to get out of finishing that cocktail, Coya and girls. It's a lulu of a story. It happened In school. Alex wasn't going to that school to get a cranium of knowledge, though. Ho was there for the good hard caah there waa In It Maybe the fact that the school was In Scotland had too, something to do with that It was In the year 1922, and Alex, who was Just a kid then, had nailed himself a Job as apprentice with a boiler repairing firm In the Scottish town of Glasgow. Trapped Inside a Rapidly Filling Boiler. They were working on a huge boiler In the basement of the Clydebank public school. There were three of them on that Job Alex, hla boss and an Inspector. The Insiiector had cllnilied out of the boiler room and gone home. Alex's boss hud decided that they'd done enough work for the day and hud climbed out after him to telephone the shop. Alex was going to wait until the , boss came back from telephoning so they could both go home together. While he waited, he pulled a copy of a Diamond Dick novel out of bis pocket and sat down beside a guttering candle to read. In a few minutes be had forgotten that he was sitting Inside a stuffy old boiler, lie wns out on the open prairie, following Diamond .Dick through a series of adventnres that would curl the quills of a porcupine. He didn't realize Manl-towls- h. The Colorado Cinder Beetle Santa Ke railroad was WHKX the Into Colorado, Its coming brought rejoicing to the residents of the rich Arkansas Klver valley. It meant an outlet for their crops and Rut that lasted only a prosperity, little while. Then disaster swept down upon them. Every night a large section of the roadlied disappeared. Something was taking away the cinder ballast Train schedules were disrupted and there were endless delays until the damage could be repaired. In several coses freight trains were wrecked or derailed. Santa Fe officials were frantic, for no one could discover what was carrying away the ballast. Finally a newspnper man, Charley Rlnkesley of the Kansas City Star, suggested that possibly the Colorado cinder beetle In a Frenzy Hs Pounded on the Metallic Wall. was eating up the ballast and his surmise proved correct that In another minute or two he'd be going through a real, How to check the ravages of the Inadventure of his own an adventure that would make all of Diamond Dick's sects was the next problem. That was exploits look like so many pink tea parties, solved when It was discovered that The next thing Alex knew, there was a tremendous rush of water the cinders used for ballast were from at the far end of the boiler. He Jumped, and the candle beside him coal. So hard coal cinders were soft rolled to the floor and went out Alex looked up then, for the daylight substituted and the cinder beetles that ahould be streaming through the manhole in the top of the boiler broke their Jaws trying to ent them. but the big tank was black aa night His boss had come back and, For some time, It is said, passengers thinking Alex had gone home, had replaced the manhole cover and on the Santa Fe were kept awake at started to fill the boiler up. the cinder beetles screamAlex lost his head then. He rushed to tbe front of the boiler and began nights by with the pnln of their broken Jaws. ing hammering on It with his hare flats. Thnt dldnt do any good. The noise of So the railroad speeded up the schedthe pump outside drowned any sound he might make that way. trains. They of ules tbelr passenger In a frenzy of fear he ran to the pipe through which the water was coming now went so fast that the passengers and made a futile attempt to stop the flow with his hands. That didn't get heard the moaning of the broken-Jawe- d tiiin anywhere either, but the cold water thnt dashed in his face sort of brought cinder beetles merged Into a him to his senses, and he started telling himself to keep a level head. symphony of sound, like the rustle of The Deadly Water Kept Pouring In. wind through pine trees, that quickly lulled them tn sleep. "My breath," he says, "waa coming In sobs. I remembered that I When a hardier race of cinder had left a hammer and chiael at the other end of the boiler, and I beetles developed with Jaws capable started back to get them. That boiler was Just twenty feet long, but it of eating hard coal cinders, the Santa seemed like twenty miles. The water was gsttlng higher every minute, Fe was ready for them. They began but I finally made it found the hammer and started pounding on the using crushed rock and since that tlnw sides. I pounded hard enough to loosen the rivets, but still the water have had no trouble with the little came pouring In. 1 pests. on I knew there must be someone outside "Nevertheless, kept pounding. to shut the water off when It reached the gauge level. Thnt wasn't much comMassachusetts Melons fort though, because by the time the water reached the gauge level, It would be a foot over my bead." visitor from Georgia motoring Another few minutes, and Alex began to get dizzy. The pressure caused THE the Berkshlres of Massachuby the Inrush of water was going to his head. Still, he pounded away not setts looked rather scornfully at tbe because he thought it would do any good, but because. In his terror, he didn't crops in the fields along the road. think to stop. "Why, I don't see any melons op here," he said to the farmer leaning The Grim Reaper's Scythe Nearly Fell. on the fence. "Can't you raise them?" Fearsome thoughts were going through his mind. What would his "No, we don't seem to have any mother say whan he didn't come home that nightT Would anybody ever with melons," replied the Yankee. luck find him? What would happen when they lit the fire in the morning? to raise some a while bock-tr- ied "It was then," says Alex, "that I went Insane. I started screaming and "I tried It after yenr, but I couldn't year tearing with my bare hands at the rusty Iron wall of the boiler. I seemed to ever a good crop somehow. The get hear voices outside saying. 'Hold on, Alex I'll get you!' Rut I was too far trouble was soli was Just too the that I even meant. noticed that the water had stopped i hadn't gone to realize what It rich 'em. for coming In. I seemed to lose my senses somewhere In there, and the next thing "I'd plant my seeds, tbe vines would I knew, I was lying on my bark, out In the school yard." start growing, the blossoms would Yes Alex's boss had dragged him ont of that boiler unconscious. He had come out, and then they'd set and fallen In a faint and had taken so much water Into his lungs that tbe boss had would begin to form. Then to give hi in artificial respiration before he came to. Alex is a grown man now, the melons sun would the get hotter and the but he still has nlghtiiuirea about that horrible fifteen minutes when he was our Berkshire would sprinkle nights' In a tilling boiler. trapped on 'em. And that dew, I tell you, dew Service, acts like magic, It makes things grow so. But I never could get any melons, ners when only 13 appear. Friday, 13th, Not Jonah though." However, there are those persons "Is that so?" exclaimed the Southto Many Old-Time- rs who have no rear of the dreaded numerner, "Why couldn't yonf One or the most widely known of ber hut take It as their good luck I tell you," answered the "Well, In the national capital the symbol. the "1.1" superstitions is that It Is un"Those vines of the Berkshlres. ton lucky to sit at a table where there are auto tag numbered 13 has gone to the Just naturally grew so fast they 1.1 persons. Tradition has It that some same iersnn for a nunilier of years dragged the melons all over the field. while a great demand exists for the one or the 13 will die within the yenr They Just plumb wore 'em out before Some authorities say this dates back tags numlMr 1,313 and 131313. had a chance to get ripe. So I Louis XIII of France chose a title they hod to In the time of Clirlrt when III gathJust give up tryln' to raise ered at the In hie ror the Supper, with 13 letters and always mode his melons." says a writer in Pathfinder Magazine most important decisions anJ moves 6 WMtara Nwpapr Unloa. Judus Isrnrlot was the tlrst to leave on the 13th. Xnnsen, the explorer, on "Marine Store Dealer" and all are familiar with bis rate. started on an Arctic expedition the 13th with 1.1 men and returned When a sailing ship came Into port However, It Is known thnt this super stltlon wns rife among the Asiatics home on the 13th, later attending a In the old days a man used 'to go dinner party on Friday, the 13th. as the aboard and bid for' the old sails that Ions before that. Others truce It back to Scandinavian 1.1th guest. Richard Wagner, the com- had been torn by tropical storms. He mythology when the - major gods poser, wns born on the 13th in 1813. was also given odd lengths of rope sn l were seated about a table In Valhalla Ancients observed a 13 month calen- all the Junk accumulated during a and the evil spirit Lokl. arrived to dar and the old custom of giving a voyage of many months. "Marine store make the 13th. Friday bears H'cInl bride 13 pieces of gold exists In Latin dealer" was the man's title, and he dealt with ships which sailed the significance in this connection be- countries thnt have any gold. cause it was the festival or certain Seven seas. Later there was little for the marine store dealer to do tu gods. Their wrath was sure to Tull Appearance of Halley's Comet on the unwary heads of all who did Hulley's comet, the most famous of big shipping lines managed their own not give up their own pursuits on that all such visitors, has a period of some- affairs. As his trade with ships went, thing more than 7(1 years. It wns vis- the dealer started to bny rags, old botday to Indulge In the festival. In Paris, there are persona known ible In April. 1!I0, ror the twenty-ninttles and tbe like from honsea in seaas "fourteenora" becaue It Is their lime since Its tlrst recorded appear- port towns. Now he has become tbe biiKlnexM tn be available to all who ance In --M It. C It Mill appear again unromantlc man though wish a 1 1: h guest at parties and din In 1HSUL still his official name Is marine store dealer. Pearson's Weekly. Crow Vegetables Without Sun or Soil in Quick Time A method of growing fresh vegetables even during the long Arctic night was displayed the other day at Rockefeller Center, New York. No soil la required. Tbe plants grow In a container with a chemical solution composed of minerals, salts and other plant foods which provide all the nourishment needed. Ultraviolet ray lamps take the place of the sun, doing the Job so well that th plants grow at two or three times their normal rate. 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