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Show mm ' ii "i 'Ti fmnifTir iiiiiiniixi v X. . X5h INDEPENDENT. B. C JOHJISOX, raklUfca. fePPUNOVILLE. . . . UTAH An eccentric man Is one who floes foolish things, but has money. Restored health to the Hon. William Wil-liam F. Cody. We couldn't spare Buffalo Buf-falo Bill. . The house of a Mr. Arson of Brooklyn Brook-lyn burned down last Friday. It looks suspicious. If the leggy Belgian hare ia to supplant sup-plant the steer as food, now is his time to butt in. A turf note declares that Acefull has gone lame; probably ran against a straight flush. When pneumonia went against Russell Rus-sell Sage it was like a roll of butter striking a brick walL Many an honor graduate is forgotten forgot-ten while yet the glory of the burly halfback is undimmed. The Panama hat craze went through the first frost in fairly good shape. It will take snow to cure it. Who will be the first society belle to come out with a rope of anthracite nuggets around her neck? That Wisconsin man who married a deaf and dumb girl the other day probably prob-ably had been married before. Peace hath her victories no less renowned re-nowned than war. One of the latest inventions is a Catling plow. It transpires that a toy trust has been formed. Let the children have it to play with they'll smash it. Mascagni says that the best music is played by the hand organs. Many would give the street piano first place. Sir Thomas Lipton may as well take time by the forelock and start his designer on plans for Shamrock IV. The attention of the opponents of football is directed to the fact that a girl has been killed while roller skating. Jim Jeffries is unable to find any one who is willing to fight him; here Is a great chance for the sultan of Bacolod The irrigation congress at Colorado Springs, was a great success. The president of the body spent J6.000 for wet goods. The educated ape Esau has become still more "strangely human." He has begun to lose diamonds just like other actors. A Rochester farmer killed two robbers rob-bers and wounded two others. What a pal he would have made for the immortal im-mortal Tracy. An exchange says "a Chicago man has just died while witnessing a Mexican Mex-ican bull fight." Broke a lung yelling "fake," probably. Jt seems that President Castro of Venezuela was merely shamming in order to get tne other fellows to venture ven-ture within reach. ; If the Mad Mullah of Somaliland c'oes this sort of thing with any frequency fre-quency the English will begin to think he has Boer blood in his veins. Evidently the law of gravitation is working with its usual precision at Paris, no matter how faulty the mechanism of Parisian airships may be. In Russia and in some parts of Germany candles are used to this day for lighting trains and no fault is found by lovers or newly married couples. I A former typewriter lady is now making a big hit as a lion tamer In Paris. The man who used to dictate to her must be good and proud of himself now. The Staten Island maiden who sued for 5,000 damages because a hairdresser hair-dresser turned her tresses the wrong color, and only recovered $50, is as red-headed as ever. The plan to put a portrait of the angel Gabriel on the new issue of Chicago's Chi-cago's city bonds strikes the ordinary person as leaning too much toward an attempt to be prophetic about redemptions. re-demptions. The political orator, to be an artistic artis-tic as well as a business success, should be more or less of a master of phrase, and should therefore give some attention to his syntax and not train entirely for his wind. Judge. Engineer Fox, who, stricken with apoplexy, ran his train a mile to the station at Sioux City, and died the same night in a hospital, deserves a monument rather than some of the statesmen who are thus honored at random. An Industrious New York contractor contrac-tor managed to make 67,300 square feet of sods cover 120,000 square feet of park surface in New York, according accord-ing to charges in court there. This must have been the "elastic turf" of which the novelists tell. How would you like to be locked rip in a jury room until you decided whether a person in pursuit of a cow, which had escaped from his control, acts as an ordinarily prudent man would act under the circumstances In not looking and listening before attempting at-tempting to cross a railroad track? Pension Commissioner Ware has promoted a clerk for doing his work well and not asking for favors. It is to be hoped that every employer In the land will take the pension commissioner's com-missioner's plan under advisement. There seems to be an idee but It is probably not well founded, that the crown prince of Siam, whll In this country, will place an order for some of the 132 wives that be is entitled to. A Philadelphia paper proves that fried potatoes produce more indigestion indiges-tion than any other "culinary sin." We thought as much. The friers must ga The emperor of Germany has begun to wear a monocle. He is probably endeavoring to re-establish friendly relations with Joseph Chamberlain. Shah Caught Beautiful American Girl Captures the Heart of Persia's Ruler He Offered to Make Her His Wife The Shah of Persia has fallen in love with" a fair American girl and asked her to become one of his wives. One would think he had quite enough already. But no, "the King of Kings' has succumbed to the charms of Miss Miss Courtney Thomas. Courtney . Thomas or Mile. Courney, as she is known on the concert stage in Paris and he has prostrated himself him-self at her feet, her abject slave. And this Is how it all happened: His majesty, accompanied by his suite, attended a performance at the Opera Comique in Paris, and was delighted de-lighted beyond expression, not only with the voice of the young singer, but with her personality, for at the moment mo-ment Mile. Courtney is one of the most beautiful women in Paris. TalL straight, with an exquisitely moulded figure and raven-black hair and brilliantly bril-liantly dark eyes, hers is a beauty that may stand all tests. "I would like to meet Mile. Courtney," Court-ney," said the Shah, after the curtain had rung down on the thrilling scene in the third act of Manon Lescaut, in which the heroine induces her sweetheart sweet-heart to fly with her from St. Sulpice. "She has a wonderful voice, but I would like to hear her sing in another place." With such a dignitary as the Shah of Persia, who flngs pigeon-blood rubies ru-bies and pocketfuls of diamonds to those who tickle his fancy, a wish is a command, and before noon the day following Mile. Courtney had received a note from the secretary of the Shah inviting her to come to the Elysees Palace the next afternoon at 5 to sing for his majesty, bringing with her some music she liked best. Mile. Courtney accordingly betook herself, with an accompanist and a chaperon into the Shah's presence. After presentations had been made the music was handed to Muzaffer-Ed-Din for him to make a selection. Looking Look-ing over each piece carefully he finally INTERIOR OF drew forth "L'Iran" (Persia), by the composer Duval, saying, "I should like to hear your Interpretation of this aria. Let me see how you enter into the spirit of the music." Mile. Courtney sang, throwing all her soul into the rhythmic and dreamy strains of the Persian harmony, and its swinging, vibrant tempo. At its finish his majesty stood up, and clapping clap-ping his hands vigorously cried: "Bravo! Bravo! I never expected to hear that music sung so by one out of my own country. Your voice seems admirably suited to the weird strains. My dear young lady, you cannot please me better than by singing this same song again." The request was gracefully complied with, and then Mile. Courtney sang two more pieces a selection from "The Pearl Fishers" and an aria from "Griseldis." WThen the numbers were completed his majesty clasped upon her arm an exquisite souvenir bracelet, brace-let, composed of Persian cameos surrounded sur-rounded by emeralds and pearls. And then, as if he were about to say his adieu, heabruptly changed his mind and commanded once again to hear "L'Iran." "The King of Kings" knows no restraint, re-straint, but does just as he pleases on the spur of the impulse. ' So she sang again divinely. "A bracelet of triffes that I have Just given you is not enough for your voice like a nightingale, and your hair, 1 The Shah. which has more of the glorious black than any In my own nation. Come, come, come back with me to my own country. I will make you my wife." The Shah already, as far as the latest statistics can be ascertained, including the wives allowed him by his religion, has S00 recipients of his favors In his seraglio. Mile. Court ney. It may be assumed, in her embarrassment, embarrass-ment, said in Frencn, which she speaks very cleverly: "I will always be a sister to you, sir, but the religion of my country compels me to refuse the distinguished honor of being your royal consort." And so it was that Miss Courtney in Cupid's Net Thomas threw away one of the chances of her life that of becoming No. 301 to his imperial majesty, "The King of Kings," to devote herself tc her art and the one particular happy man. The French are not lenient to people who speak their language badly, or, as they call it, with an accent. It i3, therefore, a triumph in two directions di-rections when an American girl sings at the Opera Comique and captivates a Shah. It is such a triumph that has been won by Miss Courtney Thomas, upon whom the Shah has cast the eyes of desire. She made up her mind five years ago, when she went to Paris to study singing, that she would conquer her Missouri accent, which on all sides they told her was charming in English, Eng-lish, but execrable in French. And she did it. The Shah of Persia has no crown, properly speaking. His ceremonial headpiece is a high gold brocade cap, adorned with diamonds, feathers and pendant ropes of pearls. Our picture of .the interior of a Per- The Crown of Persia. sian harem is from a snapshot taken surreptitiously by a European lady visitor. vis-itor. KNEW WHAT HIS NAME WAS. Another "Break" Made by the Irrepressible Irre-pressible Irishman. In some parts of Ireland the names are simply chalked on carts and other vehicles kept for public hire, in order to comply with legal regulations. Unfortunately Un-fortunately this custom lends itself to the playing of pranks on the part of "bhoys" maliciously inclined, who sometimes rub off the lettering and PERSIAN HAREM. thereby get the cart owner into trouble trou-ble with the police. A case of this kind having occurred, a constabulary sergeant accosted a countryman whose name had been thus wiped out unknown to him. "Is this cart yours, my good man?" "Av course It is," was the reply; "do you see anything the matter wid it?" "I observes," said the pompous policeman, "that yer name is oblitherated." "Then ye're wrong," quoth the countryman, who had never come across the long dictionary dic-tionary word before, "for me name's O'Reilly, and' I don't care who knows it!" POINT IN DOMESTIC ECONOMY. Here Is a Valuable Tip For' Some Married Men. "There are few women who do not spend new money reluctantly," said a clerk in one of our leading stores." It Is worth one's while to watch thero. A woman will invariably hunt around in her purse for old money in paying for a purchase. Why this is so I have never been able to discover, but the exceptions simply prove the rule. Daily I have examples of this trait in women right here in this store, and when a feminine customer finally does part with the precious crisp bills it is with some ejaculation of annoyance and frequently an attitude of indignation, indigna-tion, as though I had forced them into spending their money against their wills. On some occasions I have actually known women to leave the store sooner than break a new bill. "But I have been benefited so by my different experiences with this peculiarity of the sex that I have learned to take it philosophically, be-lieTg be-lieTg there may be something yet to lttirn. So, when my patience is on the verge of exhaustion, I gain new strength from the knowledge of how much money I have been saved from a woman's dislike in parting with new money. The secret is simple enough. I always manage to carry my salary home in beautiful, clean, crisp bills and the reluctance with which my wife gets rid of them redounds to mj financial benefit. This is a tip foi other married men, and am certain they would save money by adopting the suggestion." Power of Shells. In 1870 an ordinary shell when it burst broke into from nineteen to thirty thir-ty pieces. To-day it bursts into 240. Shrapnel fire in 1870 . scattered only thirty-seven death-dealing missiles. Now it scatters 340. A bomb weighing weigh-ing about 70 pounds thirty years ago would have burst into forty-two fragments. frag-ments. To-day when it is charged with peroxilene it breaks up into 1,200 pieces, each of which is hurled with much greater velocity than the largei lumps which were scattered by a gun powder explosion. . Some women are so - modest thai they won't even own up to ,the size o: their faults. . -. , " . . Pineapple Juice. In peeling a fresh pineapple the eyes and pulp should never be thrown away until they, too, have contributed contrib-uted to the larder. Put these fragments frag-ments from a large pineapple with six unpeeled greening or other tart, juicy apples Into a saucepan, turn on water enough to nearly cover them', cook until they are soft and drain through a jelly bag. Boil the liquor thus oh: tained for twenty minutes. Then measure it, add an equal proportion of sugar and cook again for five minutes. min-utes. Fill into tumblers. If time is scarce an easier process is to cook the eye3 and core in water sufficient to cover them until they are soft, and then press them through a sieve and boil the juice with sugar for a few minutes. The flavored syrup will be useful in an apple or peach pie, in a pudding sauce, in lemonade lem-onade or fruit punch, to serve with a fruit macedoine or with cut up bananas ba-nanas and oranges, and for no end of purposes. Stylish Cloth Suit. v The double-breasted blouse jacket is fastened with two rows of handsome buttons, and has a fancy shoulder collar col-lar of the material finished with a single row of stitching. The sleeves, full at the bottom, are ornamented on the outside with buttons and tassels. The skirt is trimmed with seven graduated grad-uated shaped ruffles, edged with stitching. stitch-ing. The girdle is of black duchess satin. Chic Parisien. Some New Hair Ornaments. Tortoise shell combs are worn as much as ever and the usual set includes in-cludes three or four, the extra one being a pompadour comb, which Is placed in the hair entirely for service, as it does not show when the coiffure Is completed. The newest combs are certainly designed with some idea of comfort, for the rims are rounded down in the center to fit about the flat knob on the top of the head. Even the larger comb, intended to keep up stray "scolding locks," is curved -after the same fashion. . - This, by the way is narrower than formerly, and doe3 not give the head so broad a look as the heavily rimmed ones that have been the correct thing. For evening wear there are jeweled tortoise shdi combs, in sets of three and four, but for the street nothing is quite so pretty as rich ruby shell, I plain and polished until it glows. I General Federation Roll. According to a list which appears in the Club Woman, the organ of the General Federation of Women's Clubs, 117 organizations have been admitted to the General Federation since April. Kansas contributes 35 to this list, the largest number from one state, and California is second, 20 being the number num-ber admitted from that state. The American Women's Literary Society of Shanghai, China, and the Woman's Club of Sitka, Alaska, have become affiliated with the General Society since the May biennial held in Los Angeles. The Shanghai organization is the first club from the Flowery Kingdom to be admitted. Two federations federa-tions have also come into the fold, namely, the National Federation of Catholic Women's Clubs (headquarters (headquar-ters in Chicago), and the Seattle Federation Fed-eration of Seattle, Wash. New York city is represented on the list by two organizations, the Emma Willard Association As-sociation and the College Women's Club, both of which have a number of Brooklyn members. Application for admission has been made by the Worn- CARRIAGE AND raw en's Club of Saltillo, Mexico. Mrs. Dimies T. S. Denison of Manhattan is president of the General Federation. The new clubs referred to have been admitted since the present administration administra-tion came into power and the Increase in membership is regarded as an auspicious aus-picious beginning by the friends of Mrs. Denison and her associates on the executive board. VelVet is Popular. Unquestionably this is to be a velvet vel-vet season. The exquisite texture and softness of the new velvets admit of the plaiting and fullness found in most of the taffeta coats, and the velvet coats fall straight or full from the shoulders, sometimes forming merely a bolero, sometimes reaching to the hip, sometimes attaining three-quarter length. The bolero or hip-length coats are the jauntiest for a slender figure, .and complete satisfactorily almost any afternoon or visiting toilet. In black, they are of all-around service; but, when meant for wear with one costume, cos-tume, the coat may of course be of any shade needed to harmonize with that costume. In the longer coats the Louis lines are much favored, and luxurious wraps, with ample folds, deep shawl collars and lcose, full sleeves, are popular, pop-ular, though not particularly youthful. Then there are the long cloaks, extravagantly ex-travagantly full and flowing, and fashioned fash-ioned upon empire or Japanese lines. Many of these velvet cloaks and coats are fur-trimmed, but embroidery, lace and passementerie are used more often than fur, and sometimes all are combined in a riot of intricate ornamentation. orna-mentation. It goes without saying that whatever is used upon velvet must be handsome. Cheap trimming of any sort is out of place. Far better use none at all or only the merest hint of something that is worthy of the material upon which it is to be placed; but the passementeries passemen-teries of this season are handsome enough for anything, and some of the imitation laces are exceptionally good Imitation Venetian and Alencon point. expensive enough itself to be in no danger of becoming common, is plenti ful and will be much used upon the velvets. Satins and Brocades. Next to the sumptuous yellow satins, sat-ins, moires and brocades that rank prominently among tie evening tex tiles to be worn for two seasons to come, the beautiful rose tints stand supreme. In dancing toilets of silk or satin draped with lace and trimmed with satin ribbons, a soft pink gown imparts an exquisite glow to the complexion. com-plexion. Many of the French toilets in cameo, orchid or sea-shell pink, and pink alone, are of chiffon or mous seline de soie, over taffeta or peau de cygne of a deeper shade. Other toilets are mixed or delicately toned with reseda or sea green, pale mauve or honey-suckle yellow and also a certain cer-tain very- beautiful faint shade of fawn color. Furnished Shopping Bags. Shopping bags now must b furnished. fur-nished. New ones of English levant in the richest of colors contain pocket-books pocket-books and card cases of the same material and cut-glass silver mounted scent bottles. Spanish illuminated leather and spangled suedes in soft grays and rich browns are used for some of the prettiest wrist bags. Bead bags, too, are holding their own. A new one, round and deep, mounted with gold, has a realistic design of lilies of the valley on tin front. Elaborate Elab-orate rhinestone decorations characterize charac-terize some of the suede bags. Plaids in Wool and Silk. Plaids in wool materials and silks have made their appearance once again, but they are never a pleasing revival. In spite of the fact that they are sure to come around with periodical periodi-cal regularity. In the hairy wool materials you see small, almost invisible plaids which are subdued enough to meet with some success, perhaps, but women who dress in the best of taste are not as a rule fond of plaids. At least not of anything more pronounced than the dainty checked silks. For children's wear they are especially espe-cially useful, while in velvets and silks for millinery purposes they are shown in the brightest colorings of the origi nal Scotch varieties. How they will OPERA WRAPS. nourish remains to be seen, but It is hardly to be expected with the present elegance in dress that they will find universal favor. Coarse Laces at the Front. The coarse laces, such as Russian and Cluny, are at the front in modish trimmings. A white crepe de chine pattern dress has two deep flounces formed of vertical Russian lace insertion inser-tion and strips of the fabric. They are finished at the bottom with a narrow nar-row edge of the same lace. Small motifs of the lace are inset at Intervals Inter-vals in skirt and waist. A black Chantilly lace pattern gown has a Spanish flounc of applique Cluny Clu-ny lace motifs of large, bold design. Hair Ornaments. Odd effects rule in hair ornaments. One comb of shell has the upper edge thickly set with brilliants, from which extends a claw-like design of brilliants mounted in silver. Brilliants and pearls are both used in another shell comb, the pearl finishing the edge and the brilliants appearing in a raised ribbon design below. Pretty Theater Waist. Blouse of white silk ornamented with rows of white silk fagoting and trimmed around the low neck, dowr the front and on the outside of the sleeves, with motifs of white filet lace. alternating with white chiffon roses or rosettes. The cuffs are fagoted. A Meringue That Never Fails. Never use a wheel beater for a meringue. Only with an egg whip can one obtain good results. Use a deep plate. Take the whites of two fresh eggs, add a speck of salt, and whip until the whites are frothy; then add as much cream of tartar as would make a lump the size of a common bean; continue whipping until you have a dry froth; fold in lightly two level tablespoons granulated sugar; if flavor is desired, add it before whipping; spread on pie, and set in the front of the oven with the door open ; turn it once, and let it stay for at least two minutes, then push into the oven, shut the door and brown slightly. This meringue is always perfect, and will be good when several day3 old. It is dry on the outside and tender within. Lace Tunics on Gowns. Lace tunics are appearing largely on evening gowns; they are a capital way of renovating a skirt, the thicker the lace the more a la mode. A re-gretable re-gretable feature in the modes of the moment is the wearing of gowns that are suited for evening in the morning, and now satin. shoes, with Jace-trimmed Jace-trimmed stockings, Vre to be' seen atf many of our fashionable resorts. All stiffening is vanished from skirt linings, lin-ings, except just at the hem, to the depth of three inches. Sleeves expand ex-pand at the elbow, skirts at the hem. Fruit Wine. Bruise the berries with the back of a spoon and strain through a flannel bag. Add 1 pound of sugar to 1 quart of juice, stir well and cover closely, letting it stand for three days, stirring stir-ring well each day. Pour off the clear juice and add sherry wine if cared for. Bottle and use in two weeks. Ostrich PJumes for Winter Hats. Ostrich plumes are to be characteristic character-istic hat trimming of winter, and it now is a stylish trick to wear white plumes that shade off at the tip into some tint appearing in the costume. To boil cream the day before enhances en-hances the richness of the coffee into which it is poured. To Take Stains Out of Knives. Take a piece of raw potato, dip it into brick dust, and scour the blades with it. Red tablecloths keep their color if a little borax is added to the rinse water and they are dried inthe shade. Lay rusty keys and locks in paraffin oil and let them lie covered for some time. The oil will loosen the rust, so that it can be rubbed off. To Prevent Rust. To prevent articles ar-ticles of iron and steel from rusting. Immerse or wash them for a few moments mo-ments with a solution of carbonate of potash or soda. To Whiten Linen. A tablespoonful of turpentine in a clothes boiler will whiten linen, take out the stains and render washing easier. Flour is very cleansing and will clean the goods as well as soap; rinse well afterwards. &ho JZatest Ideas prom Paris Flower boleros represent the latest idea in floral garniture so much In favor this and last season. Some of the newest combs for the hair are surmounted by artistic decorations decora-tions of fruit or flowers or foliage. Long sweeping paradise plumes have returned to favor, but instead of waving over the top of the hat they generally appear beneath the brim. A wrist bag of suede frequently has the ordinary chain handle replaced by a narrow ribbon of the same shade as the suede. The ribbon is doubled and tied at one side in a bow. Ecru Valenciennes lace is used again this year on gowns of white organdie, though preference Is given to the pure white laces as a trimming for the new gowns of this dainty material. The rage for green this season Y carried out in laces, dyed in severa shades of this vivid color. A hat trim med with green and white shows crown and brim of pleated white tulle, draped with deep green lace. A bow of dark green and red velvet is place at the back. Sellekeepers pro- - i) The Marriage a la Mode How Loving Couples Are Quickly Made Happy in Pittsburg Nine Minutes All the Time Required for Ceremony If you are In a hurry to get married this schedule ought to prove helpfuh There are always plenty of hints on how to live on $2 a week; how t catch a husband; how to procure wife; how to make beef stew and clean ivory-handled knives, in the newspapers, but, sad to state, there has been no one to get up an official schedule or guide for the use of young people who want to get married. Most men think it takes all day to tie the knot. It might take all day or all year to untie it, but it takes just nine minutes, by the watch, to tie it. You might be standing on the corner cor-ner of Fifth avenue and Smithfield street at say 10 o'clock in the morning, morn-ing, heart whole and fancy free, and you might return to the same corner in exactly nine minutes with all the cares and responsibilities on your shoulders as a married man. Of course you must noeds have provided yourself with the girl, but if what men say is anything to judge by, you can get the girl in less time than it takes to go from the corner and get mar ried. Be that as it may, for the fellow fel-low who wants the whole thing over in a very short space of time there is plenty of opportunity. The hurry of Americans Is proverbial. prover-bial. They are always up and doing and never waste more time than is absolutely necessary on any one errand. er-rand. Thus you see with the aid of this schedule the busy man of Pittsburg Pitts-burg makes an appointment with his future wife. They whisk off to the marriage license window, thence to the apartment of the fellow who ties the knot, and in nine minutes he will Starting. be seen shaking hands with her and on his way to his office, while she boards a trolley car and makes a call on her new mother to acquaint her with the facts of the case. There is no useless waiting all day for a marriage mar-riage in the evening and no crowding out of a bed on a cold morning, at an unheard-of hour to participate in a morning wedding. You choose a sensible sen-sible hour and like a sensible man after consuming nine minutes you return re-turn to your office a married man, attend at-tend to your day's duties, and then in the evening you hunt up Polly at her new mother's, or her own mother's, and you are now in a position to pay a "board bill for two instead of one, as a result of nine-minutes lost from the office that morning. " 'After yoU TiaVe- fflade-eerenil kinds of a fool of yourself at the marriage license office by tripping over your age, nationality and so on you move on to Mr. Brown in the prothonotary's office, who was at one time a preacher. preach-er. If there is anything that Mr. Brown does love it is weddings. He is so fond of then that he is always armed. In his pocket he always carries car-ries the little book so indispensable to functions of this kind. Through some wireless telegraphy the same Mr. Brown hears murmurings of your applying for a license. He stands up, brushes down several imaginary flecks of dust from bis well-fitting coat and grasps the little book tighter than ever. He has the assistance of the urbane usher who is posted at the door to guide the trembling footsteps foot-steps of strangers. Poets have said that all the world loves a lover, but the poets are wrong. They should have said that all the world ridicules a lover. A man feels, in the vernacular vernac-ular of the street, "like 10 cents and a plugged nickle." His hands seem to have grown so that he doubts whether at any time, either now or in years to come, he will ever be able to get gloves to fit them. Why in the world has he never noticed in all these years that his hands are in the road? How has he ever managed to earn a livelihood? In shuffling around trying to make A Man Feels Like Ten Cents and a Plugged Nickel. known his wants his feet assume the proportions of an elephant's tootsies. That settles it. They are canal boats pure and simple. He is positive that a man with feet like that hasn't any right to live, and at this he gets a look at his face in yonder mirror. Red isn't the color that describes it. It is a clear purplish pink, and his eyes are protruding. Oh, yes, he is sick. He is satisfied with that. Why, he hasn't looked that way since he had scarlet fever! Yes, he is sick unto death. No well man ever looked like that. And the sad part is that his poor little wife will be left alone in the' world to paddle pad-dle her own canoe. Has anyone ever heard of such a pathetic tale. Another An-other look and ne sees his features working. Why, he is actually in convulsions con-vulsions and then the pipe goes out and he wakes up. He . has been talking talk-ing to himself. Of course, if he is marrying a widow he isn't half so stupid, for former experiences have taught r to keep her eye on the groom and with her help he puts In bis "I wills" to the satisfaction of Mr. Brown. Here is a story you'll hear In case you happen to have five minutes to spare when you go to get married. John Smith came in to have the knot tied, and being told that the charge was $2 he almost dropped and exclaimed ex-claimed : "Ive never paid over $1.50!" There are no frills on these mar-riages mar-riages while you wait. Your ducky cannnot wear a liberty satin frilled up with chiffon, neither can she float a long white train and a tulle veil that Taking a Drink after Going Through the Ordeal. hides her blushes. Instead If, as you are, she is hurrying through to get back to work, she will probably wear a blue and white calico wrapper with slippers down at the heel and her hair up in curl papers. She has been too industrious in putting the house to rights before she met you. and inasmuch inas-much as she expects to go back to her work, just as you have gone back to yours, she thinks it a waste of valuable valua-ble time to go to the trouble of taking-down taking-down her "bangs" and changing her wrapper. A good, sensible, matter-of-fact wedding it is. You want no flummery. There are no decorations in the apartment apart-ment where the marriage ceremony is performed with great eclat, unless it be a lacy cobweb in a corner, and the wedding music is supplied by the musical click of all the makes of typewriters under the skillful fingers of various employes and making various vari-ous sorts of noises. It may be that you will spare a minute min-ute to take a drink of malted milk or other refreshing beverage after going through the ordeal. You have gone and got married in nine minutes, and if that isn't a herculean task tnen no He Grabs the Little Book Tighter Than Ever. man ever deserved a drink. Pittsburg Pitts-burg Dispatch. THE RAIN HE PRAYED FOR. Minister's Parishioners Understood and Appreciated the Petition. As was the custom in that day, says the Rev. A. B. Cabaniss, in the Richmond Religious Herald, the people peo-ple all begged the old preacher to appoint a day of fasting and prayer for rain, which he did. At the appointed ap-pointed time the house was crowded with people, all anxious for rain. After reading a chapter in the Bible the good old brother prayed as follows: fol-lows: "O Lord, Thou dost see our sad condition! Our streams are dried up! Our grass is parched up! Our crops are withering! O Lord, we need rain! Yet the heavens seem like brass and the earth iron. We beg and beseech thee, O Lord, to send us rain! But we don't want a mizzlin", drizzlin' rain; for that would not wet our ground. And we don't want a dashing, splashing splash-ing rain, neither; for that would wash our hillsides away. But, O Lord, do give us an old-fashioned, . steady ground-soaker! that the earth may bring forth food for man and beast, and Brother Doublehead Bob Burton's pond may fill up, and his mill be able to crush the corn and he may make a few more runs of his still for the benefit of the brethren." The good old members all responded respond-ed with a hearty amen! to this, thinking think-ing it expressed their wants exactly. Famous Boer Scout Here. Capt, P. J. Visser, late chief of the Boer scouts, has come to this country to live. He is 25 years old and stands six feet eight and a half inches in his stockings. He wants to go West and see the rough riders there, and think3 he has seen about as much rough riding rid-ing as any man who ever straddled a horse. School Bathrooms. Bathrooms in public schools are, a novelty that Boston will introduce in its new buildings. The latest structure struc-ture of an educational nature in that city is to cost 80,000, and will be fitted with toilet, dressing and bath rooms for both sexes, with eleven shower baths and foot baths as well. Was There in Waiting. A Missouri man In his will asked his widow to strew flowers on the grave of his first wife every Sunday. He waited until he was beyond reach before he made the request. Jockey Earns Large Salary. Lucien Lyne, the lad who rides Jas. R. Keene's horses, gets a yearly salary of $20,000, and every time he wins a race is sure of a handsome gratuity besides. be-sides. If the wife is a slave to fashion the poor husband must of necessity be a slave to the almighty dollar. ; r i i V i s L |
