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Show fo Jlskn,, 1 it. Aaui.J Jnlcl. ; WHITE THE JOKES? professional IMF E,p,aln' Th,f Amcrli bow Tin funny ly Biako bt up Joke that mill lt, to mak pun word hofi." aonae ulndi blm of "bor little John-oirbe- r ,iWH the following aneedote: l. mid the teacher, "writ hora unilnit the word johnny wrote? "One bight to lock tbe atablo and be en hi bone eenae. ho I duly publlabed In the nan of the metropolitan writer, aeelng tbe I country paper, tblnka It He atoola It md exclusive. It to a weekly magazine ot rfrrulatlon. From tbla maga-ioeditor grab tbe little Jeat tow afloat on tbe wide orean and It probivbly ,h language u the man who wrote It f tbe anecdote that fill the jmm never happened In real rj are the brain children of cd Jester wbo dotes on anee There ti a pun, right there, fnilonal funny man would hat a minute, then perhapi rhyme like this: - )sely 'W wptl 'lean ess. icrs opnuM n ISITIVE, till T.keaacs Ois (ink, on artichoke vrllh. atiout In pain: mill, won on antMntca, he', well again. dnfi-- YOST FRANTIC ITCHING a. must nt for ' put laying l ed y ho 1 e, cryin uck it'i mi; ai ooi rt' It V 0 BO R kinds, e high s Atlantic City, i. peM o e Lazy Expression, ud rutted phrases may b Pf used and ao pass current Bjit for the most part they at antly used. They aerve chiefly mind and are a bore. One rery many ones do, shirk tbe process by the mode of ready ' expressions. Tli lying. More aptly! tl ae ivearlng. And very much aucb !'y habit as Very swearing. ho might, as early, speak and tliih well groove their mind !( and bad Usage of the lan-hti- l ju mJ I10"""1! .crc ,r,w ft aipiv(i-frdcker Adles thatlwoi vniq. tbe daring avlutor and hla fompanlona. Itonth be lleved to have eoine Instantly to tho five men. bushel .Wki ) He loadcd4iij'tT;cnttlc byAvith bomBsadothcr v-- ftM!!1! ,hH ,raRl ,l,"orjr of dUauteri oraeroplonei probably none ""8',tlon,, that which brouehT to an end the and greatest moat costly air craft ever constructed on the western hemisphere. Up to juudown, two bodies, those of latvln vanlmnn and Ilourrllilon bad been recovered from the wreckage, which Ilea In almut gihmerRed eighteen feet of water off llrlgantlno beach. Mr. Vanlman saw the collup.e of the balloon and Its drop Into tbe ocean rarrylng with It her husband and her brother-in-law- . Rhe fell in a faint and waa unconscious for some tlrno. DUBOIS SLAVER ACQUITTEO. Utah Man Who Killed Daughter and Her Husband Coes Free. Price, Utah. After deliberating In their Jury room for four hour, the Jury In whose hands was placed tbe fate of John E. Ilrown, wbo ha been on trial here for two weeks charged with the murder of hie Janiea A. Dubois, found that the accused man was justified In taking the life of and that tbe killing or hla daughter, Dubois wife, waa accidental. On the ti wning of November 18, follow-in- g a dance at Moab. Drown ahot hit daughter and her husband, James A. Dubois, after driving to bis home, three mile away, and returning for half a mile with two runs. The defence waa that the killing waa Justified in two ways; that Dubola assaulted Drown with rocka immediately prior to the shooting, and that for many months previous Dubois had paid flagrant attention to Mrs. Poose Rmpey, utterly forsaking hla wife and wrecking hla own home and driving hla father-in-lato desperation. Du-bol- a, BRYAN MAKES gls wi!'1 lit 1W -- . qual-Fu- We loldym of thetillncVs in Sc bo-u- t te! thingilie had & And said that he was acting like a dnajiwh thought Try Kurin ft, M? "I'm not surprised thafou re.suflrised at whatTm doing hereT But this young imp has worried me for half a year or so ihas cxlme to this point-tna- t t He lad or I must go! life a burdenJief Has nUecTmy soul Hesjnadeymy " itHBread.y?N BuOat jhstuffV iHl! enough;' if jl I do not wantto kill the aiyhour or inuidk inwmle When IcxplainaboU for Fy Krtnwlr. Ko Smarting Feels f ine Aria Vjulrkiy. Try It fur K- -l, Writ. CARTERS LITTLE Watery t.yra mlea--l.ranulatrU f.ytlM. Illua LIVER PILLS. In Mnrtne m tratml lackairs. n, i a br oar VM Furelv vegetable ctni'" tnit umnI lit I'lmuitnC art siiCely and manr rain. Sim in lti I., - ana suI V.V Mol nor and lo iota by at on the Munna fc.,a balvs lu Awifitlo 1 , Am and too. gently liver. Cure Murine Eye Remody Co.. Chicago SdmusnesB, y Hu-i- k atni-an-ii-- suit-maf- sboy:yodll say I'm right rsimf t j iwant to blown aXvay from mcir & That I may haves2ancejbmatiie a question softl'i and low . ThislittleLadsthebrothcrof girl, and Tm her beau!" i ft & A ft ft ft ft ftr ft ft ft ft ' - pi jPADTrpC viVr.'?lLDw - uin-a- And That The Wretchednes: of Constipation Can quickly be overcome by When Your Eyes Nqcd Caro "One moment," hissed JhepurchaserMfito our ear. o l l for In, but don' know Inny Uioas suffering with Mtuti,ailon. kep' bout Caesar now n I did befo' ban. When a mans conscience trouble An ef she kep' me In twel Gabriel blow bis horn I wudden know an I him be thinks be bn Indigestion. wudden care. What dllTunce it make to me w but cl man Caesar done aw ay vandeh befo'de wew!" Evening Ioat. HeadHero's consolation for the married ache, man: When the suffragettes gain Dizzi their point, and an election doesn't nets, and Indigestion. They do their dufy. go hla way, be can blame It on bla SMALL FILL, SMALL DOSE, SMALL HUCE. w ife. Genuine must bear, Signature ' A splendid and highly recommended remedy for tired, weak. Inflamed eye, and granulated eyelids. Is Iaztlne Antiseptic, at druggists, 25c a box or sent CISCGVERY. . A WGXDERFUL postpaid on receipt of price by Tbe ruAMfih and itMrlDint,U tutara lmnwark4i Faxton Toilet Co., Boston, Mass. brtliitaiittlflifiirihtiiifoiiait( ttmn. tiM ltHld n llig l roanlurv, m Bmiiig the l)t im ik.hk n I In Bwaliriitfiliihaiwf Tbe tuan who paddlei hla own canoe TlwmjitMii. iiirh hM bee tih giwit iucmmi in It U wurthy ne r renrb Hiwp.uil nnd tbal ual today may own a steam yact f wbo tullwr from Inipgrtaht-tllkniiiit- huinff, blidilcr, RenoHM MbnrMt1nif(rii iiii rnitmmv (otliwntFlflwtti Ilwn. lllEKAI'IONIi dt(lPMl umi Iniotdilivinn i rwittediwi wnm fonuriy U Umt lb qittloimbli bole f'lmiHtn of luMltoni rhd, ll In of rotiffr hnpow-tli- lr lo ltl uffrini nil wonhooUl lib l tpliH h In ihtn niton nntcio. but ihwt wbo wouM Itk-- to ln -nRHift btil thl MOHlf (bat ban cdwiel BiBhTtnishi Bliwul tty. wlntcnlngi rfihiM ibould Mnd iHitifpfMud rnwltiyn for bHKK bM.b itr. dikri,fl)rtnif Ar.. tbFtnti It !wr makes gtsall What? Garfield Tea, th Natural Laxative, eumpuaed entirely uf pure, wkoluaotue and lieitlOiglviug herb. If a man Isnt sufficiently original manufacture bl own tick to tbe truth. ,o lie be should w no (loniti. In rom thn hif mip rrratexl nmomrwi Ilr Ilarmtnrk Mt4. t Ktd.llgM(i4(V oiwtoit. Ki g anflftoilftf forthmirNi whether !! hw Itrutevty "TIIA K riONb. I. N ? No. I li wluil they require aewbliiM hnybftn In mn dlurfnir lift of inliwry.jiRilt'rliif Hi b nltU nd iA imI m rt n What Differenca Did It Make. No Wife' Cooking for Them. Walking, behind some colored girls, (rimsonheak Tbl paper say Mr, homeward bound from school. In a Indeed I a wealthy Turk that rarely Missouri town once upon a lime, a seen hi wife dinner table. at visitor overheard the following unMr. Urlinsonbeak Yet, I under-stan- d blushing and giggling, rich voiced and live a long time. the Turks parkllng-eyeasiertton of Individuality from on of them: "Yth, she la t ailis if siiprrUir tisrOrld Tn. r I me mo DENIAL. Repudiates Telegram Declaring Hla Intention to Force His Own Nomination at Convention. Baltimore. William Jennings Rryan In an interview Monday evening denied the authorship of a telegram addressed to John I). I.osckamp of Billings. Mont., signed "W. J. B.." which indicated by Inference that he Intended to force hi own nomination at the convention now under way. Mr. Bryan also took occasion to explain that he Indorsement of gUU stands by his Champ Clark Ywo yearn ago, but finds fault with tbe speaker's failure to take a stand against Parker In the chairmanship fight and his announcement that he Is willing to accept the aup-poof Charles F. Murphy. Tn' 1 i&zz dv-upne- g Convention, delegates who ; big controlled the first session of the Retheir thoughta can hardly state convention three weeks except through the furrowa, publican ). ago by a majority of only 2SV4. came True Enough, back Tuesday and a majority of more anti-Taf- t can ng p world dont know how they than J00 defeated an and adopted for governor didate Life. pelves platform approving the Chicago plat More Suitable. form and warmly commending the GenDevon horse show a mot of administration of President Taft. past fnora Scars was retailed. Zanesville, of B. Drown R. eral Pf stout young woman, the commander of the G. A. K. was norat A skcd Miss Sears advice nated for lieutenant governor. r otume for a fancy dress Roosevelt Gets Electors, of nutes pL going as Helen of Troy. Huron, S. D. Absolutely refusing "Do you think It would one to Indorse by a vote of two to national Rethe of action peanora Sears, surveying the Taft or the convention held recently swelling contours with publican the Republican state conven-tlo"e answered: Chicago, of South Dakota here Tuesday llu Troyor PDapa. dont makes adopted a platform which en night Avoirdupois would ri national or Taft of no mention sues. The convention elected bearing electors presidential Strang to Her. label echer in Roosevelt describing the eoient exercises of a certain to Mlas Utahns Switched to Wilson. bungler, ald s !fe from Utah felt quite awed when Baltimore. Delegate watic oath was admlnla-i- are all well pleased with the nomrc aH of thein graduates. ination of Wlluou nd election. his you wou'd have! confidently predicting Ws er exclaimed In Indignant Three of the sixteen Utah delegates A balhypocritlc oath! I nev-- 0 voted for Clark for forty-thre- e that. that only Something new, but when it was apparent j Wouldnt think any lots, could not boo arc the nomlna- e only in Clark would want to bind himself Wilson, who was ST n tlon. they voted for ke that! their second choice Sanitarium. Mrs. Decker in nllthCUUm CleneP nil1 Sarah Platt vacuum cleaner a Ran Francisco. Mrs. oM ie 8, Wn,,,an baa Invented a lu Decker, former president nR drawn through era! Federation of "on,p" 8 ertoa In its paim, while email here T was taken to a annHariumbe seriously to and tmuVi,l,(3 between the day night and is .aid lown the naP w"r bioh any 111- suction raises. Victory. Eyn Predicts m a rtate- J0ld Cu,Om-M- r nryan fO(iJ Baltin, ore.-- W. M. A,,11etn rhurch. mmt iht - "' . Dr0. of IJbl !riin'n, llKl t,JQ curfew Ib r. wblch tbe date of h u , gresslve platform survival of th whelming victory for the Democratic hen n almanac existed. ticket next fall. H "Down In a Mil Florida town two negro famine live in ihantle about a stone throw apart They obtain tbelr drinking water from a shallow open well located midway between tb two bouse, A four which separate I th two built up to th well on both sides. Kvtry evening after her day' work It done, it I tho custom of one of th negro mammies lo pick up buckets and go to th well for waivr. One day the owner of tbe property moved the fence back about ten feet front where It originally stood. That evening when F.lUa started out with her pall she fixed her cyo on the feiire and made straight for It. Walk-tnhurriedly along the beaten path, he plunged Into the shallow well with a apinsh. Her screams brought ImCM4M 0111, mediate assistance, and a the r, iiub-f-d Gladys The count wnyt Kdiib I out and aided tbe fence fin feet pure gold. away he Indignantly exclHimeit; Jack Tlmt means another gold shipwho moved dul done will?" ment to Europe, 1 auppuae. "Now, - ejad...,., i, HOW IT LOOKED, follow lug )rd s,,hi- ooo (nfi ,0 their t Knew th Culprit, Wanted story was told recently by Austin llulnc to a party of friends h euierulnml at luncheon: C.piode, Feat BOO son-in-la- bet of bis hi to ECZEMA ago I got eczema all My fingers fairly bled bed until It almost drove me Th with eruption began rider tbe akin. It spread fast vwa the fingers around tbe an over tbe whole bands. I r of rubber glovea In order to tbea. Then it spread all over tide of my chest. A fine doomed tbe trouble two weekst but no good. I cried night and ta I decided to try Cutlcura d Ointment but without much I had gone so long. There irked change tbe second day. i until I was entirely cured. 'Jcnra Soap we have alway oar home,, and we decided lesson that It la a cheap ?rfc and tbe very beat In My husband will use no other bli abating mug." (Signed) A. Selby, Redonda lteacb. 15,1911. Although Cutlcura i Ointment are Bold by drug-- I dealers everywhere, a earn-ich- , with book, will ed free on application to Dept. L, Boston. I if WITH year bands. io Foot I of look for word to tbe con your uni lit DEATH Joke of fLNT Hlflht newspaper js (ource funny man. Tb of Interceted tffnilonot . york In vnrlou way. A f'nner at lb Jok trl1 mu1' at random and tiio favor. con- TO THEIR Tc'l0::1"1;1- - an Jplt di'mando plcaaantrlea every our dl.. W o .111 Mt M UrUkl or , and owb "It anybody Vert Uat4 'mil MB five' ly. niade? ft joltof vol HU. Funny nd-QMH- unu " askip hirsts Hr. Wlnalow' fVoutUlug Syrup for Children teething, aoften tbe puma, reduce Infiamin-lioln, cures wind colic, Ste Wllfe. allay 80ME STATISTICS. AN OBJECT LESSON. If all the burnt fingers of today were on one man, and be were to itrlke them with a hammer while driving a nail, tbe yell be would emit would be so loud Uat It would waken tbo oldest Inhabitant of Saturn rrom his midday nap, and the Bound would pass tbe nearest fixed star In forty seconds from tbe time It left the earth. TeopIe are careless, said the man with the big firecracker In hia hand. "If they would exercise common irnse we would bear of less accidents on the Fourth. He tourhed the lighted end of bis cigar to tbe fuse, and resumed: "There is no danger In the use of fireworks If those wbo handle them think of the risk they are running, have shot off firecrackers since I was old enough to strike a match, and never even got a finger burned. A smile of recollection came upon his face, and he dropped bis hand Idly to his aide while he aaid: "I remember once when my Uncle Thomas came to our house on the Fourth. I was a small boy at the time, but I recall distinctly that we bad an old ny cannon, and Uncle Thomas In slsted upon telling ua boys how to fire It. Well, airhe Whack! Bang! Wow! Without apologizing for his haste, the man who bad held the firecracker ran to a dn,g store, leaving hia friend musing upon the necessity of being careful. If all tbe regrets over tbe money wasted in fireworks were to be collected in one place they would make an air of gloom so thick that tbe sunshine would not get through It for 110 years. , If all the dogs to whose tails firecrackers were tied today were placed in single file the leading dog would be running through Bombay while the lust dog would be breaking for an alley In New York. If all tbe hot air In the speeches de llvered today were collected It would fill a tank eighty miles high and ten mtlea wide, and would be sufficient to heat a city of 200.000 Inhabitants luring tbe coming winter. Is something lo Quality quantity la puruhaniug remedy for or as laxative. How about (iarfleld Ten Tea purlfloa the blood and clears the complexion. Drink before retiring. Garfield Men may be born medest, have SASOIsO bOHUU, AH PSib Sold by tfddldfR wm Ninid tort' t. SrMblyb, N. tA(iKEH'S HAIR I Fbt1 (o it BALSAM th fcab I, frowth. Qrwy, Yovturul Oouir, tweuf.lHw lmtuxitnl to Bmtoro PnrvrnU bwlr fbhlujr ki A68AVt E. BCBTOX AT1 CM U"IH niTWV IWWHI, VI. IHtlW ppimilUVN IMIWW, Kino bl. Gold. or Ibc; 60c; AtAthniO ftUvr, ikippvt, wnyuiobrw bod full prlro Ui haifi op HOWARD OpWol and otnplrc work olloliud. l.emlviliw- Cw lUferoboc. UurOooulo NaUuuI Bwob, . DEFIANCE STARCH LT but tc acquire pli they get. W. N. r U, Salt Lake City, No. 27-19- ' I lit! For Infants and Cliildren. WHY HE DID IT. The Kind You Have PER CENT AVetJcbble Preparation for As- similaling the Food and Regulating the Stomachs and Dowels rf ALCOHOL- -3 Promotes Digestion, Contains neither Opium. Morphine nor Mineral Not pttipr Always Bought Bears the JL Signature JA, sl Narcotic sqh prM.vmrc.r;.? iimfbg y Smm hothrlhSafts J itst Sd , In Wrmmi him CfaJ In hi King Stranger My dear little boy, why do you tie those firecrackers to the tall of that dog? Little Boy Aw, be' an English HE KNEW IT. The patriotic crowd, being enthured by the exercises began singing the Banner. Soon everybody was Binging "turn te te te turn, as is usual, except one man who lustily sang every word of the song to the end. Later It was learned that he waa a A Skf Use perfect Remedy forConsiipe-lio, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea, k!0 Worms .Convulsions.Feverish i (L r.si ness and LOSS OF SLEEP n Fac Simile For Over Signature of vec Thirty Years- The Centaur Company, NEW YORK. "Star-Spangle- d Exact Copy of Wrapper. v?' w . MtlMI, bdt MBlqiill ortiy riIaI,will imi !!, or mi baytblnif.. lB)r Uuwrwutwrtf nffartl?.. Clltai l bad Many a man look like a statesman wbo I not guilty. , whisker; Mother' feeling awful, Moaning In distress; gay it simply ruined back breadth of her dress;, She also lost her collar, (An eyebrow and a curl. Willie For she wns showingwouldnt whirl Why his plnwheel crutches on Grandpa goo When he KO? at all with lie collided Roman candle ball. T But what about young Willie When do they bury him? safely Why Willie cams through r limb. Unscathed In Hf iftili The man wbo bas something to sell always an optimist. Coat's In ashes, too: None la In court piaster, Ono eye bliu'K anil blue; of him They cut his shirt off To graft skin on hi back, For ho wa showing 'Willie crack. Why his cracker wouldnt bedroom, Minus lots of skin: Thumb and finger missing, Splints upon his hln; They turned tho hoso upon him In lima to save his eye, Willie For he was showing Why hie rockets wouldn't rise. MHMUIbi. fMOVtSOtmt, Obwu, bl A Jealous woman enables el Satanic majesty to take a vacation now and then. WILLIE SURVIVED. Undos :.TO IH gs? lM. bwl, FlfiM DAISY FLY KILLER eon-oil- I . b . five-dolla- Chcerful-ncssandRc- hi . Many a man hide hi wife' coffin r, with rose, who never gave her a bill to do a she pleased with. If all the coming roman candles shot off could be made into one It the would ba tall enough to reach shot from It moon and the ball would penetrate the Milky Way and glance oft the north pole to Jupiter, but even then It would not be big enough or last long enough for the iverage small boy. Father's lost vnmppltiMn, 1bntplon Imiuiilhy drwgnru boUiimC4Jk WBwobuumtMft Nun IfwiUa BinlJ li.UU. PW bRNTAUb OOMNV, i&wi'wrm Si VO fWW. y frrw'rt? :rr w yi - |