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Show r i THE FREE KIDNEY ItS tll doubt and while thT praise Doans highest. wjK,iDoans L(J VU1 Aching bsclts are ni loin ofP1" bfu k, ovriwoms. Swell. ng Umbs and dropsy signs nip, They correct brlilt dust sediment, X - wnica Ws desire to urinate la DnuiVee ' SWUWWHS Pj colored, P" bed dribbling, frequency, Pjii wetting. Pon snd cslcult heart pulritstion, nrrousnM, dicin' TatloWviu-- , tot a weak tned everythin relief until I bark and jot no iwAti loAn'i 11111 N. Lewie. J. 5TATC- For M Fotr-MUbu- p&cw it trlml bo. nX tbl WP C'., Buffalo. N Y. If iMuf&oJoot, wtJM idtlrwi n tro roto tslp SONG BROUGHT THE CASH. Constant Reminder Too Much for A staid physician of our acquaintance had a most remarkable dream the other night. It Is the nucleus for a novel, but Just now we are too busy to become a novelist, and we pass it on where It will do the most good. The doctor had been out to one of those performances vvlicte the clothes are supposed to he all ready and the lie landed In the woodshed, was aweary when .Morpheus seduced him to sleep, and his tired limbs jumped a bit r.o-- and then as a does when tickled slyly on the bottoms of her feet. Then into "God's beloved sleep" there crept a dream. The doctor was on a Journey. Finally he landed In a wide-opetown in an unknown territory. As he walked along the streets the people continually consulted their watches. Abruptly a hell rang and some one called out in a loud voice: "The Crack of Doom!" Immediately there arose a mighty din, nun, women and children were discharged, screamed, I tecndiary flr- s sprang up, pa'nted womeu dashed through the stieets in negligee, vice flaunted a red flag, liquor flowed from tho open doorways of the saloons, nfld scream upon scream of distioss rent the air. Of a sudden a ri d laced brinand y tho h ctor's vault and in the fluti-of a suoiul! Again tolled tho hell! And the voice: "The Ciacli of Doom is now over" Immediately business resumed and peace bottled upon the city. What does all this mean?" the physician, wonderment and bar depicted in his lace. The man accosted stopped and turning said: "Art thou a stranger to the Crack ' of Doom? to the extent of one gold "Except wateh," anslvered the man of medicine with an attempt at a stnile! "I will explain! continued the citizen. "Iu this place men are wronged, as indeed they are everywhere! We have no courts lo punish the wicked, but every thirty minutes there is an Interval of ten minutes in which scores are paid lawfully! , "Should a man injure you, you may. with impunity, kill him during the ten minutes The law ahrolves you from all blame! Vice is permitted only during these recesses, and no liquor is bold except between strokes of the hell!" "In a moment doom will strike again," admonished the Informant, turning away, with his watch in his hand! It was even so. With a great clamor the brazen note blared on the air. Toward the physician came a great burly virago with a bloody knife In her teeth! There was murder in her eye and determination in every set line of her face. Without waiting for the attack, the doctor flew full at her throat! There was a piercing scream. The man of pills awoke with a start, his hands clutched wildly in the lace of bis wife's at the throat! '0h! Oh! Oh!" screamed that frightened woman, "what arc you diving? Trying to kill me?" "No. my dear. answered the doctor dazedly. "I have Just got home from 'The ('tack of Doom.'" Well, for goodness sake, doctor, never go there again if you are to repeat this operation." gasped his better half with fervor. And he never has! Some years ago we saw a man hanged! Aa a general diet we would prefer leas solemn functions but in following whi-iduty led. we witnessed the execution. This bit of experience is recalled by a newspaper account of a hanging during which the populace clauum-- to see tho villain die Strange, Isn't It, that men seek the death exhibition? And jet wo have seen them climb trees and mount rvniuqt to look within the bourne. I lm insure where grim Justice demanded a life for a lit-And woman! nee we knew a wont an, lovable In many ways, a lady a! ways and yet she sought to see murderer hanged! When pleading failed, she sought an utiltu-tiehard-bthe jail yard und strove to set the trap when It bore downward with It victim. Seeing a man hanged la mt so a some iitragim- - but the mens ory ever vividly recalls the scene, the white faced wretch trembling In the death march, the Ja- -t quavering look ere the death tap hides the light for ever, the moment of suspense. the awful plunge, the slight flutter of sat the dead calmfcrlng physique-- n. ness! Happy the day when man shall be elevated above the premeditations mil the passions that had to murder. Then there will u ,.e fur tn vri or tooth for a t.suh. In It present day Igtiiflcam go-ca- new-brid- fin-aim- s ua.-avva- gra-qv- qneg-tinne- TtlG ' back until to morrow evening, and that she la not our mother and our father, never has been and never will be, and that we mean to do aa we please, and that we havo full right to levy war and also to do all other acts and things. And to this we pledge our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor. Declaration oi ndcpendence (Signed) Arthur L Ilainbrldge (thats me), t i You have all read the Declaration ot Independence, I euppoee. It Is printMarjorie Ilainbrldge, ed on tine type in the. bock of the Hester B. Balnbrldge, Chlld'e History, and at the top of the Charles W. Ilainbrldge, aarnee signed at the end to show how Gregory Ilainbrldge, hia x mark. they wrote them ia John Hancock'! And we In Rex he's a mix big and bold, the .way, person would lure of anbrought English mastiff and a Siwrite If he were doing It with a burnt match. Papa used to gather ua to- berian bloodhound and we luked his paw, and made him step on the paper gether 'In the parlor after breakfast Just below Gregory's name. And then very Fourth of July aud read ua part! we drew a circle around It and wrote of It and explain the long words, ao hia mark." Then Maida, the col "Rex, we would understand what the that fVurth of July waa really for that It lie dog, had to come In, too, and pretty Boon there waa a mark about the size wasn't Just to burn holes In your of a hot house violet. Just below where clothes, and frighten horses, and leave Stabs of fire crackers on the sidewalk Rex had printed a big black carnation that don't get swept off for days. When shaped thing with hia lordly paw. we children came to have our own Spotty, the cat, was the best of all; revolution against the governess that she upset the ink bottle on the nurtime mamma and papa went away to sery carpet, and got all her four paws bo gone two days, we knew Just how to In the Ink, and then ran right across the paper, ao her uatue was In several go about It; and we wrote a Declaration of Independence, copying It af- places. Charley (who wrote It) was ter the real true one, and then we all sort of mad at first said It spoiled the signed our names at the bottom with looks of the paper, and It would havo big flourishes, the way John Hancock to le written all over, but we told him it showed how Interested and enthusiand the others did. We thought with all our preparation astic Spotty waa. Then Marjorie got her sealing wax, success was sure, just aa the patriots of 76 were successful as the reward and took a piece or red silk ribbon and made a kind of bow out of It with long of their daring, hut alas! Our governess' name waa Georgians streaming ends; aud we put a seal Georgians Saunders which tuade It down In the lower left hand corner. all the more appropriate, because the And when It was all finished It was a work of art. Then the question waa. same ot the King about whom the IVcIaratlon was written was What ahould we do with It? put It at her plate at breakGeorge, as you probably know. When we got the Declaration done, fast." auggested Hester. "Bettor send It through the mall," It was something like this some of the said Marjorie. "She wont dare to say langiloge we took from the book and anything to the postman. some we made up ourselves: "Ho it on her door." Wbet la the course of human events Charley. "No." I said, "that won't do. The It becomes necessary for something to be done shout it. and we cant stand It original Declaration was read ant loud I kuow, 'cause I asked papa. They any longer. The history of our present read it out loud, and then they rang a governess Is a hlsfbry of repeated and usurpations. To prove this big bell till It reached "Well, who's going to he the one te let facta be submitted to a esmlld read It?" asked Charlie. woffd. "We'll draw lots," I said. 1. She makes us brush our teeth And we did with little pieces of twice a day, which Is unnecessary as w4l aa wasteful. striug; und the lot fell to me. It happens that way the one who I. She won't let us Isy Istok face downwards, and so you lose the piste plans a thing not only has to do all the and are a long time finding It when thinking, but he has to go atnl curry out lus own Idea while the other people you coino bark. 3. She objects If you make a fork stand and look on, or maybe even make fun of hint. It your amshed potatoes. "You'll all huve to go with me. 4. She won't let un breathe on the I said. "I'll read It outside her window and write with our fingers 7 oclock tomorrow morning, at door It rains. days when 6. We can't have butter and sugar and when 1 get through you must all raise a mighty shout, like the people a our rice, only milk and sugar. 5. She notices, and makes us go did outside the palate of the King at bark to load; where we've made finger the time of the Etench Revolution, and you must yell, Down with the tyrant-eo- ! tnnufcs on the white paint. (iff with her head!' and things 7. We have to make our own hods, and then, If there la a wrinkle, or It like that, and Gregory Is to have the Isn't done right, we have to do It all servants' dinner bell and ring like mad: and then all the of the duty over again. 8. Shr'a Just nw ful, every way you we're going to do just as we please, mid If she calls we won't come, no matan think of. We, therefore, do solemnly publish ter how- loud Sic hollers." The test All thought R wns a bully and declare that we are and by right ought to be free and Independent, and Idea, but Charley aid' "Hadn't we bitter do It after break- - j that our mother mil our father went Ileoiiu- - Its to- - j fast? b not wtll and way tits morning orl-gla- a any-w'H.v- tst - morrow morning, and we mightn't get any." So we decided to start in being revolutionists after break fust instead of After breakfast, while were supposed to lie upstairs making our beds. Miss Saunders alts In the library for about half an hour, reading the morning papers, and that would be a good chance to read the declaration to her. All through breakfast the next morning we were awfully glum and nervous. Before we got to the griddle cakes, I forgot and left my spoon in my chocolate, and my arm went against It quite accidentally, and the whole cup got spilled on Hester, jast aa she was stooping to pick up a piece of toast, and went all over the back of the guiinpe of her dress. And Mias Saunders swallowed whatever she put In her mouth In a great hurry, and took off her eyeglasses and pushed her chair back from the table a little and Just looked at us. And then ahe said. In that awfully quiet voice that la twice as mad as when a person lets out a yell: 'Arthur, how often have I told you never to leave your spoon In your cup? This is the second time within a week that this has occurred; you may go up In your room and remain there until I come." I didnt know what to do, because If 1 went upstairs then it would knock our plan of reading the Declaration In the head. Ami while I was rotllng up my napkin as slowly as I could, trying to think what I ahould do, her voice broke in: "Come. Arthur, I am waiting." Then I put my napkin down and stood up in my chair. Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head at that, because of all the forbidden things In the house, standing on any of the chairs hut the ouea la the kitchen and the playroom la about the forblddsnest. Why. you -- you bad little boy, ydu!" she gasped "Arthur. I don't underlie-for- stand." But 1 just pulled the Declaratlen of Independence out of my pocket and began to read. I read all the things that she would not ua do. and waa ;ust getting to the place whiye it said we mount to do as we pleased till mamma and papa came home. I hadn't been looking at her, bcwuso U waa as much it's I could do to make out Charles' writing. And. beside, some ot the things, when you mine to read them out huiil to the per off they wera Intended fur. sounded pretty dreadful particularly where It said, "SRtn's Just awiY.I every way you can think of." mv cheeks felt kind of hot when I got to those places, and 1 let my voice down and hurried over them ns fast as I could. She imM have come while I was trying to make out route of the hard words, which I don't think and the others all agreed with tne afterwards-w- as quite a fair advantage to take. Ani she tiucd to he on the haiku hall when she was In college, and she was awfully strong. It Is III) dlsg.-ai- e It he overt owrrt-- hy smti a strong person, and tarried up stairs, aud lorlo-- In your room and then to be told through the to sinv then until you me you forty. I suppose that Is the wav Geoi ge the Third would have (rented John Hancock If he tuuM b-- t inu-rstft-e- robe-de-nu- ! ter-rlbl- e Im- Man. pecunious Young of a manager feminine The clever tellis avenue Greenwich laundry on of th methods glee with great ing imshe pursued in order to induce an ( a to up pay customer pecunious J I.tWBkdiahsSSS?; der wsr, the fast welled. There tense tn tho heat pals which putting on.', Kffjf J lamp cklmnrT. 1 .? t,T the free trial xm ..V vViaTnmfmiTimniJ hl 4 i ne? tf dy par excellence. WWiMVUIU. Scratch Match." For a year the use of phosphc-- . matches has been prohibited in jj, den. The new law has resulted lnt' Invention .of a match by the engine, Landln and Jernander, which hash, named the "repstlcken. or sent, match. It will light against a wet u face. It is said to he less poison.; than a safety match. She trained account. her employes to chant in unison, everya Cheap Passenger Rates Via SJr. time the young man hove in sight, Pe Route" are "We little ditty, commencing The thee!" for To aud Boston, Baltimore, Minneapo' waiting washing third time they raised their voices in Detroit, Atlanta and other points, r the song lie plunked down 83 and said, particulars, address C. F. Warn tell General Agent, A. T. & S. F. Ry,t feverishly, "For heaven's sake, Dooly Block, Salt Lako City, Utah. York Times. 'em to shut upU'-N- ew With Pride and Alarm. To Cure a Cold in One day. Points with pride t Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All Kentucky V; iruggiats refund money if it fails to cure. ijho. while Florida views with alarm, t! sb following from the Atlanta Jourra Graves of Famous Scotsmen. "If Florida citizens keep on kill!: The Dean cemetery, where Sir Heo each other, who will be left next w. tor MacDonald waa interred a short ter to rake In the money of thq non time ago, lies to the west of Edin- ern tourist? The feelings of the nor burgh, a little to the south of Queens-ferrera tourist have not as yet been road. . In it are the remains of dared. Cincinnati Commercial f different many Scotsmen famous in buno. spheres Goodbir, the great anatomist; historical Mi William the Sir Mr, M'lnMow Soothing: Wymp. paintAllan, For children teething, soften me Kmn, r. r M ,dian, Lord Jeffrey, Lord Coekburn. flauunmiOQ, allays er; euros wind culic. pain, csbotui Playfair, and 'Christopher North, What the Marriage Waa Worth, add others. A little group was discussing nw into dO Do Your Feet Ache and Burn? riage foes, when one of them Hid. Shake into your shoes, Allens Foot-EasA young cou; following story: lliitl a powder for the feet. It makes called on a minister I knew," said t nil Cures feel New Shoes or Easy. tight aud were married. When it mt, Swollen, Hot, Sweating Feet, Corns loll a husband said and Bunions. At all Druggists and over the Shoe Stores. 2r.e. Sample SPnt FREE. am sorry, but I have only 1 with a. Address Allen S. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y. and wo need that to get homo with' pn 'Thats, a,I right, said the minis: :d b THE FAD FOR AUTOCRAPHS. You come around In one year a:, 13E1I me whatever the job seen Hon give Feminine Collector the 'Most Enterworth to you. The groom said I agn let prising cf the Tribe. would do it, and they went away The feminine autograph fiend now Did he ever show up? Yes, h turns her attention to special collec- came back In a year and insisted that tions. The matinee girl cherishes a the minister pay him ?3. taste for the signatures of dramatic stars only, while the book club girl Hall's Catarrh Cure patiently stalks the autographs of Is takea internally. Price, ?5a. none but authors, and the golf girl gathers up the precious pen strokes ol Knew Something About Eggs. the long shot, putting and tournament Tommy was giv champions. The daughter of one oi our ambassadors has all but completed some scrambled eggs for the flnt a unique and valuable collection ol time. He was told what It was, br he never had seen it before. - The oar autographs of the crowned heads ol he startled his mother by 4e day the world. The signatures of seven African kings, the Czar of Russia and manding some even the Sultan of Sulu are counted Ptso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken ot u among her authentic autographs ol a cough cure. J. W. O'Rniiic. 322 Third An living sovereigns. N.. Minneapolis, Minn., Jan. 6, I8u0. A Question of Plurals. Flour vs. Cabbage. Though many grammars give lists Ten cents worth of wheat flour coof words having 1. regular formation ntains almost seven times as much pr of plurals, the many klnas of fish or and over ten times sj much entela fishes, with arbitrarily formed plur ergy as ten cents worth of cabba& als, are omitted. The need for such a Thus a article la not necse list Is shown by quoting a few exama cheap source of nutrients. sarily ples. For Instance, people apeak ol herrings, hut never of whitings. Every one writes soles, sprats, anchovies, the singular form rarely. If ever, doing for the plural, but no one would write mackerels, cods, salmons or trouts. On the other hand considerable uncertainty exists Much That Every concerning the form of the plural ol otaer alnda. Who snail decide which la correct, turbot or turbots, sturgeon Desires to Know or sturgeons, carp or carps? S 4 y 3 telai-th- e. nbw-mad- e Three-year-ol- "doodle-doo-hash.- " low-price- d lam-phrey- FOR WOMEN BURE NOW Th Truth About Coffe. It must be r'trded aa a convtoo-Inteat when a family ot 7 baa used Poatum for 5 years, regaining health and keeping healthy and strong on thla food drink. Thla family lives in Millville, Maas, and the lady of the household says: "For eight year ray stomach troubled me all the time. I waa very nervous and irritable and no medicine helped me. "I had about given up hope until 5 years ago next month I read an article abtmt Iustum Cereal Coffee that convinced me that coffee was the cause of sll my iron!-- , ; made the Post um carefully It so much that 1 drank ItftjIn to coffee but without tn neb faith that About Sanative Antisep- tic Cleansing g prefi-rwir- e it would help me. At the end of a month, I was surprised to find sm h howver, a change In my condition. I was stronger in every way, less nervous and at the end of 6 ntonhs I had recovered my strerpth so con.pl.-tHthat 1 was able to do all of my owa housework. Because of the good Iw.tm did us I knew that what you claimed for Grape Nuts must ! true and we have all used that delicious food ever "rBr1 aiPar.id on the market. v have 7 In our family and I do he work for them all and I am that t owe my strength and healtheure to mV P fold I have te l J J MIt T y''"r (f. flh,! ;'"m coffee). great faith In Poatum ,r nt ' my relative. Jr Vhn"r, furnished by turn Co.. Battle Creek, Mlrh. lemon warm Wllh eV1'1 day. delightful "coolor" Bend for particular tension of time the contest for Tii money P" Poe-Of for And aboutthe Care of the Skit Scalp, Hair and Hands. Too much stress cannot be placed ot the great value of Cutlcura Saep, OlnV met and Resolvent li Jhe antiseptic clcaff.-tlnof the utucoua surfaces and of the blood twtd clsrnlatlng fluids, tbo affording pure, sweet and economlcsl local and constitutional treatmeut tot weakening ulcerations, Inflammation,, lictilncti, Irritations, relaxations, dlw placements, pains and Inegularlt peculiar to females, Hie tutl cura remedies have a wonderfhl Infln cnee in restoring henlih, strength and beauty to wnary women, who h' l'r,'mi,v-el-y aged and Invslldfd ty tbeo dixit, '.sing ailments, as well aucti sympathetic afflictions as amciulA nervousness tD debility W omen from tho very first have folly iqweclatcd tho purity aud sweetness, 10 8ord Immediate relief ' Crfa!lll,v f speedy and permanent 'ftiiluto safety and grel h ,li have mado tho Cntlriire Un skin cure snd humn.,it tlm Undard w of Mimr the civilised world. f.u'8 women use Cuilair Roan i y Cutlcura Ointment, l"lrl O'ntr and beau turvt,,'i;' flnu f"r causing the r! ! of cra-,l,( ddruff. and Hi atonni n ft' lh-nc- r:? nr and ulceritifr i Whilst Well as furlii hath . ud tmi-ft by mail of ex. ?, (too no pric,. cooks' .! rad, rough and ""'.'I1" lrrD.tio.is. 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