| Show x CSt TImQJ 911 NDDLLL3 uuuu nn nnu HE WAS THERE TOO A young man came up to the polling poll-Ing place on election day antI offered his ote It was his first appearance In time character of nu elector and he md tho Independence or audacity to differ politically from his father Ills father challenged his vote On what grounds demanded the presIding olllcer He Isnt 21 I am 21 asserted the youth No youre not said the father You wont bo 21 tomorrow I say I will cried the youth I was born on tho 12th day of November Novem-ber Its down In tho old Bible Then Itll a mistake said tho old man You wer nt born till the morn lug of time 13th of November I can vow How can you How repeated the old man indignantly In-dignantly Goodness gracious wasnt I there Well returued the son with proud defiance wasnt I there tooT too-T le young wan votedJudge An Announcement Analyzed You say you wouldnt marry the best man alive said Miss Cayenne That was my remark replied the girl who Is needlessly emphatic You are quite right If by any chance you should meet the best man alive and by any future chance should acquire an option on his affections Well PIt P-It would be a pity to run the risk of spoiling his disposition GOSSIP Mrs Blabbo Tho Smiths have been married ten years today Mrs Gabbo And they havent foreign for-eign ncti other yet Temperamentally Unfit No said the statesman thoughtfully thought-fully political life will never do for me I shall never run for the presidency But you have all the qualities that would grace tho office So my friends say You possess a fine grasp of the questions of the hour and have splendid splen-did executive ability Perhaps But I dont like to make openair speeches nor ride In sleeping cars Fooling Him That young man stayed very late last night said the girls mother sharply Yes mother she replied I didnt send him home because I was afraid hed get next to the fact that I have to get up early In the morning to go to work A GRAVE ERROR Sambo Mlstah Henpeck done made a scene at his muddahlnlaws tuner al ylstahday Iambo Sho Go way I Sambo Yessah lIe done foglts lilbself an lets or onion drap out of his handkerchief No Secret You have kept one good cook In the family for 20 yean Mrs Hlpperly How in the world have you managed to do that I married him And ho comes In mighty handy let mo tell you when a kitchen girl leaves mo without warning warn-Ing An Important Distinction I have discovered remarked the gossip that Mr Bllgglns owes everybody every-body Indodd replied Miss Cayenne Does ho borrow small sums or enough to entitle him to respect as a financier finan-cier His Waterloo V The Friend Your husband Is the funniest man I ever heard on the vaudeville vaude-ville stage He amuses everybody doesnt heT The Wife Ho does not He cant amuse the baby for five minutes SONG OF AN OFF DAY Strung lint when the sun In I shIning And the tildes uro fair Hiitl blue Days nuij brinK no much of sorrow Hearts may hold ao much of rue After all tis not the weather But ourselves we ought to blamo If were brave tii storm and sunshine Studies will ripple just tho same Kvery bloom by breezes shattered Blinlt yet liuvo successors sweet Wtt > of weariness and weeping Shall mow light to troubled feet Ryes cast down shall be uplifted Shadows haunt the Rout no more Itfo Is nhvuys worth the living And tho best still lies before KIND THINGS I Miss Noscanchln He said he could tell that I had a strong character by my nose and chin Miss SpitefulIt seems a pity doesnt It dear that you couldnt have had the strong character without with-out the nose and chin I Not a Sport A wellknown clubman of Boston was married during the early days of tho last winter to ri charming Wellesley Welles-ley girl who of her many accomplishments accomplish-ments Is proudest of her cooking The husband returned Into ono afternoon aft-ernoon to his home In Brookline to discover that his wife was all tired out You look dreadfully faliened little one came from hubby in a sympathetic sympa-thetic tone I am was the reply You see dear I heard you say that you liked rabbit So early this morning I went to tho market to get you one I meant to surprise you with a broiled rnbbtfor dinner but Im afraid youll iavo to take something else Ive been hard at work on the rabbit all day I and I havent got It more than half picked Llpplncotts WHY HE SMILED I 1 p i i Jri vi w Vi Young Lady with music case Yes Ive Just bought a few of the latest pieces All novel and strong In composition And no wonder her friend smiled She didnt know one end of her case was broken and that those sasslngers were peeping out In Ancient Rome The Roman senators rushed up and found Nero rosining up his bow Cut that out they commanded And you have the nerve to object to my playing on tho fiddle demanded de-manded the great man Sure Get busy and play on the fire with a hose And afljr the town had burned down Nero was blackballed In the Roman Ro-man auxiliary fire department Waiting What are you going to plant in your garden this spring I havent made up my mind yet whether It will be flowers or vegetables vege-tables Im waiting to see what roe seeds tho congressman sends lie CRUEU I I F 1 Ue V N I Landlady Wasnt that a good chicken Mr Jinks I JinksIt may have been a good chicken morally speaking but physically physi-cally It was a wreck |
