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Show ommunity ews A2 • WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2008 -NEWS- Spanish Fork 280 North Main St. Spanish Fork, UT 84660 Swindled and saved Speaking Galloping Geezer Gary Davis Lane Henderson.... .Publisher Namon Bills Editor Dana Robinson . Assoc. Editor The Spanish Fork News is published each Wednesday for $37.50 per year in area and $41.50 out of area by J-Mart, 280 North Main St., Spanish Fork Utah 84660. Email stories to editor@spforknews.com Email adj to ads@spfbrknew3.com Call us at 794-4964 POSTMASTER Send address changes to Spanish Fork News 280 North Main St. Spanish Fork, Utah 84660 The entire content of this newspaper is Copyright® 2008 Spanish Fork News. All rights reserved. No pan of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the editor or publisher. THE SPANISH FORK NEWS (USPS 024716) is published weekly for $37.50 per year by JMart Publishing, 280 North Main St., Spanish Fork, UT 84660. Periodicals Postage Paid at Spanish Fork, UT. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to The Spanish Fork News, 42 East 300 North, Spanish Fork, UT 84660. DEADLINES All stories, photos and ads are due by Friday, 12 p.m. Covering what matters most In one of my desk drawers somewhere around the house lies a check for $34,200. It represents my investment of 30 grand, plus the 14% interest I was to earn on my money for one year with an outfit called TLC Investments. The day that check arrived in the mail, the very day, the SEC or some other government acronym closed the doors of TLC and froze their assets. It turns out that they were running a ponzi scheme. I tried to deposit the check in my account, but the bank sent me a 'sorry, but this ain't no good,' letter and returned the nowworthless check. I learned my lesson from that sad experience. As George W. Bush once said, "Fool me once, shame on me...no..no, fool me once shame on .... fool me, well you know what I mean." Truer words have rarely been spoken. I'm confident that most of my readers are distraught to learn of my financial mishap, so I'm happy to share with you some wonderful news that I recently received via email. It came from a C O U N C I L Barrister in China. "Barrister" is another word for attorney. In America, attorneys are called many things, but Barrister is rarely one of them. I'm uncertain why Barrister Wilson Dara chose me from the millions of US citizens available, but I'll print his letter verbatim so that you can share in the joy of my good fortune. for his relatives without any success, I therefore like to seek your approval to present you as the Next of Kin to my late client since the money will be confiscated if no body comes to claim the money soon. All I need from you is your assurance that the money will be safe when the proceeds of my late client's account valued at $5.3 million will be paid to you and then you and I can share it into 2 equal parts. You will also help me to invest my own share in your country when we finally secures the money. I promise that every step it be taken in claiming this money would be done legal since I am a Lawyer. I expect your response so we can move ahead to claim this money urgently. Best Wishes, Barrister Wilson Dara From: Barrister Wilson Dara, Leven & Dara Law Firm, No. 27 Avenue Chemitnots, Malanville, Benin Republic, China. Dear Friend, I am Barrister Wilson Dara. I am the personal Attorney to one Mr Alexander, who died in an aircrash that occured on the 30th of September 2006 involving Gol Airlines in Brazil. Sadly all his family lost their lives in the aircrash. (Internet site to read of plane crash) His Bank have been I'm guessing that some written me several times of you probably think to locate his next of kin ur- this is a scam; that all he gently to claim his money wants is my SS# and my deposited in the Bank since bank account number so his wife who happen to be he can clean me out. But the next of kin also died in hey, he is a lawyer and he the crash. did promise to do everyThe Bank told me that thing legally. And we're the money would be con- gonna split the money fiscated if no body comes right down the middle! to claim the money soon. My share of that is a cool They said is their Banking $2,650,000. Do the math. Policy. And you're all welcome Since I have searched to come and check out my new digs in the Parade of Homes next year. I'll be cruising in the Greek Isles, with my good friend Barrister Wilson, mourning the demise of my Dear Uncle Mr. Alexander. Gary Davis is the a Sr. - N E W S Fellow at IPJ, a conservative think tank. He is the author of four novels and lots of columns and articles and short stories and stuff. He is a former actor and professional silly person, email - ipil940@ msn.com Spanish Fork ••$& CLIPSE at the Harvest Moon Hurrah of church, family, and responsibility Round and About Benjamin Kathleen Olsen Spanish Fork West Stake Conference will be held on Saturday and Sunday, Sept. 6-7. On Saturday, a priesthood leadership meeting will be held in the afternoon, with an adult meeting for those 18 and older, Saturday evening at 7 p.m. The general session for all stake members will be Sunday morning at 10 a.m. ••• Another family has moved from Benjamin. Christopher and Marie Caras and their two sons, Riley and Brody, have moved, and will be living in a new home in Payson. We will miss their many contributions to our community, especially their music. Denny and Cecilia Worthington and their three sons have moved into the Caras' home and we're happy we can keep them here. ••• Both wards have special events approaching. Benjamin 2nd Ward's summer party will take place on Thursday, Sept. 11, 2008, at the Benjamin Park. It's theme is, appropriately, "End of Summer Fun," with the hot dogs starting to be cooked at 6 p.m. A special invitation states: 'come and play games and ride the trains' - that sounds like a lot of fun. Attendees are asked to please bring lawn chairs, if possible. Benjamin 2nd Ward's Activity Committee is in charge with Allan and Pat Swehson, chairmen, Benjamin 1st Ward's now-traditional Elders' Horseback Ride will take place on Saturday, Sept 13,2008, with theridebeginning at Sweat's Shanty in Payson Canyon. Everyone is invited to enjoy the day in the mountains on horseback. Supper will be served that evening at 6 pjn. at the home of Brent and Connie Benson to which everyone (whether you participated in the ride or not) is invited. : ••• A situation is developing, and we need everyone's help. There are three areas in Benjamin where dumpsters are located for area garbage. Those sites include the Benjamin Church, the Benjamin Park, and the Benjamin Cemetery. At all three places, it is being found that a few people are using them for their own personal garbage. Recently, after an event at the park, when the area was cleaned and the garbage accumulated was taken to the dumpster, there was no room for it, as the dumpster was filled with foreign waste. The same thing has been found at the church and at the cemetery. Please help our community stay clean and tidy by taking care of garbage appropriately. Thank you! Letters to the Editor Long Distance Gratitude [&.* Dear Salem City, sion. Having lived away I wanted to send a for a while it was great note to congratulate you to be reminded of what a on another successful wonderful place Salem week of Salem Days. is. I may be a little bias, It was such a plea- but I think Salem is as sure to be able to be close to a perfect place back in my hometown to live as one can get. for this special occaThe entire city and Salem Days Committee should be commended for their hard work. I look forward to visiting and enjoying many more Salem days Celebrations in the future. All the best, Holly Isaman Meagher Olympics • Stadium of Fire • 5th CD out now Harvest Moon Hurrah Events and Activities Pony Rfdn 4-6 p jn. 5-7 pm nwi4Balo 4-flpJn. , S t a n * C h * Art 4-6:30 Giant PaMog H v t l 4-6:30 pjn. HayffidtswahUn Btayisfi BnJ 5-7 pjn. Etance v the Put 6:30 pjn. SATURDAY, SEPT. 20 4-10 P.M. Harvest Moon Hurrah Entertainment Entertainment Sham Barrowes 4 p.m. Ncbo Choral* 5 p.m. Nefao FWiarmofic 5:15 p.m. FREE Jr. High Percussion Group 5;45p.m. Admission, Events & Entertainment InnerFusion and Dance in th«Pafk8:30p.m.tiI we drop! Drew Briney 6:15 p.m. Eclipse 7 p.m. — F O O D V E N D O R S (food: $1 to $3) — i dunno diner • Big Papas BBQ Baby Cakes Cupcakery • Jims Tacos and Dogs Commendable Dear Mayor Henderson, As the Presidency of the Salem Utah West Stake, we wish to express our tremendous appreciation to you, the city council, city employees and staff, and the Salem Days Committee and many volunteers who made this year's Salem Days such a tremendous event Salem Days was once again an outstanding success bringing the entire community together in a wide range of positive and unifying activities. We are grateful for your maintaining and building upon this wonderful tradition. Please accept our thanks and know of our continued support of all of your tireless efforts to serve the wonderful members of our stake and community. Sincerely, Salem Utah West Stake Presidency The Spanish Fork News SOCKS |