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Show THE THUNDERBIRD • SOUTHERN lJfAH UNIVERSITY • MONDAY, OCfOBER 18 1993 • PAGE 5 Rainbow Canyon Arts & Crafts l10 W .535 S. 586-8969 Wake up to bizarre morning news If you crave the bizarre, set your radio alarm clock for 7 a.m .. In the past two weeks, I have been awakened by the following news: MFive hundred people are believed to be dead in the Russian White House."· "Six thousand of the inhabitan of a city in India are dead as the result of a 6.4 earthquake." (Later the death toll increased 500 percent over that figure.) "A man in England was bitten in the thigh by a hog as he jogged this morning.• It's like being awakened with a kiss. From a mafioso. How can I rise and start the day after that kind of awakening? lt's worse than having warer thrown in my face. At least with water revelry I can dry off with a towd and vow to take revenge on my aggressor. How am l avenge, or prevent, the events that create this kind of news? Avoid jogging in England-OK, that I can do. Avoid being a German tourist in Rorida-no problem. Otherwise, what can I do? Sleep. Staying in bed, even alone, is a much bt:tter proposition than facing a world filled with thigh-biting hogs, earthguakes and angry Russian parliamentarians. On mornings like these, sleep is my on ly hope. What an ironic world we live in when jogging has become a health ri le. Sometimes I only feel afe alone in my own bed - no one to hog my sheets, no one to asphyxiate me in the middle of the night like a scene from One Flew Over rh£ Cuckoo's Nest, no one to tell me l'm crazy for believing there's still hope for our sick world. Radio new must be a propaganda device designed to keep university students too srupefied to attend class. Therefore we won't pass, won't graduate, and won't compete for jobs with the nation's employed radio announcers, reporters, EMT workers, Red Cross-oh, yeah, they're volunteers - well, you get my meaning. It's sad when my only defense is a snooze alarm, and it only works for nine minutes. A lot can happen in the world in nine minutes. And according to my radio, most of it is bad. For me, history is like a candy coating on the hard pill of current news and time is like a glass of water. With them, news is easier to swallow. Even Watergate doesn't seem o bad after almost 20 years. I've almost forgotten I voted for ix.on - in a mock election when I was 10, but still. I realize My Own Private History is full of place . Whether things acruaUy happened the way 1 remember th m or not is something I try not co worry about. After all, as much as I'd like to, I can't sleep my life away. Maybe 20 years from now the thigh-biting incident will seem funny to me. Come to think of it, maybe it won't take that long. Cussrumble Update: The Cussrumble has recently been noticed by dirty-handed women in the lower level women's room in the library. lack of hot water in the sinks is thought to be the cause. Also inundated is the An Sruclio, where art rudents would be happy to settle for cold water in the now-barren utility sink. Please keep me infonned of any other evidence of The Cussrumble you notice around campus. I'm also waiting for ideas of how to draw out those elusive big bucks. A Little M re Ado: Thanks to Marla Bingham for the flier on the Summer Evening Concert Series which was sent to me in response to my "nothing to do in Cedar" column. Marla, I attended several of the Sunday concerts this summer, and as enjoyable as they were, there was still the is ue of the 12 hours before 7 p.m. I wished to fill with something besides anticipation. A few days after I bitched about clear products, I read an article in USA Toda1 in which a marketing consultant, Tom Pirko, said "consumers can see. through advertising that fails to show why a clear product is better ... Can you show me a good reason why your car would need to understand it's burning clear gasoline!" And further stated that "Clear was last year." I do not believe in coincidence. I have found a soul mate. Celebrations Pam SUPPiies & More! "If we don·t have it. we'll order it for YOU!" 76 W. Hardina Ave. • 586-1465 • Cedar Cin, Make it - Take it Classes Classes are Freel Classes run 6:3~9:00 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and from 1:Oo-4:00 pm on Saturdays. Potches-The hOPPlest scorecfow you·ve ever seen. wll steal YOUf heoit. Tuesday. October 19. This Chicks Hocnt- And she looks. like we all feel When we soy enough ond close the kttchen down. Tuesday, October 26. Celebrate the Harvest-You con moke a wan hanging or o swag using these vegetables. Tuesday, October 19. Country Folk WIich-if you loVe Cheri's ·cute as a Button" booics, then you wtl tl90$Ul'e this witch from her newest collection. Thunday, October 21. Ook Leo! Condie Holder-These ore annual fave<lles and a perfect tan accent. ThuBdoy, October 21. Bag !hot Turkey- He Is the sffllest tull(ey that you have ever seen. You can't help smlilng at him. Thursdoy, October 28. Rudolph-Lead~ Way-Yoo can put Rudolph In a wreoth 0< l.1$9 the smaller ones for the cutest Chnstmas decorations. And no. It Is no too earty tcx CMmnas. Tuesday. October 19, Thursday, Oc1ober 28. Phlltp a Ablgoll MeochanHhls pllgr1m couple will win you heort. Tuesday, Oc1ober 26, ThWday, October 28. Largest Selection in Southern Utah! Bridal Sets Bridal Sets .66 ct. T.W.; 14 k .40 ct. T.W.; 14 k Campus Representative Scott Brooksby 586-8236 Guaranteed Lowest Prices in Utah! • Guaranteed To Beat Any Competitor's Price By $50 On Purchase of $400.00 or more! • Master Goldsmith • Graduate Gemologist • Lifetime Guarantee • Master Diamond Setter • 25°/o off Men's Bands when Engagement Ring is Purchased! GEM JEWELERS, Inc. ''The Store that seroes you best" 125 N. Main • Cedar Ctty 586-8464 501 Take it easy with Levi's 501 jeans. They give you everything you look for in a jean - comfort, durability and good looks. Levi's 501 jeans have a little more room in the thighs, wider cut front pockets, and a snug but comfort.able fitting seat. Jolley's Ranchwear · 52 N. Main Cedar City 586-8108 . I~ |