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Show SOOTH CACHE COURIER, HYRUM. UTAH Scraps, of Hum Queen Annes Lace HE PASSED father was talking to his had been sadly neglecting The irate son, who his studies. ' - You are supposed to be studying for your exam, and yet I find yon were at a dance last night, and came home at 2 a.m.! You said you were studying physics! Is dancing at a ball physics Well, said the son, its light, heat and By Frances Parkinson Keyes & Frances Parkinson Keyes WNU Service. vfff te SYNOPSIS sound! Disappointed, through her inability to put finishing touches to her costume for a dance, Anne Chamberlain is irritated by the stolidity erf her escort, George Hildreth. At the dance a visitor in the community, Neal Conrad, young lawyer, is impressed by Anne, preceiv-in- g her fine character. A few days later she accompanies him and his hostess, Mrs. Griffin, on a picnic. At the end of the es day Nea! his love and they become engaged. The marriage is solemnized. At Washington, on their honeymoon, the Conrads meet Clarence Hathaway, friend of Neal's, young diplomat. The young couple start housekeeping. Anne's health begins to fail. Neal, engrossed in politics, does not notice. BEYOND REASON Hes as conceited a youth as I ever met. "Hows that? He says he is sure he can make Helen happy if she will marry him. As if any man could be sure of making any woman happy. Future Requirement "You approve of forest culture? The need of it is plainly before answered Senator Sorgmy eyes, hum. One of the things this United States Capitol is going to require Is more and better wood of which to make gavels. Dont Rush, Zeke Aint we going to theater while were in New York, Young Corncrib a pap? Farmer Corncrib Yes, Ezekiel, yes 1 Jest as soon as weve looked in all the store winders! Hev a little patience, boy ! Brooklyn Daily Eagle. Queensberry Rules Magistrate (in English court) They say you browbeat your wife shamefully. The Accused I never browbeat her, your worship, I landed on her Jaw London Answers. CHAPTER VI 14 He had not seen, the next morning when, earlier than usual, he left for his office. He still had not seen, three weeks later, when the duly registered voters of the district signified at the polls their willingness to have him represent them in the legislature at that winter, and he came home, in the gray dawn following election day, to tell her so. Bel-for- d During the Intervening time, struggling, striving to keep on her feet, and do her work, Anne had waited, at first hopefully, then despairingly, for the confidences which she had expected he would pour into her ear, the advice which he would seek from her womShe was sure there anly intuition, must be principles at stake, great principles by which he must either stand or fail. Instead, she heard, when he had time to talk to her at all, about rallies, about advertising space in newspapers, about quantities of cigars and dozens of bottle of whisky. Sick as she felt, she longed to have him ask her to go with him to some of the public meetings, but he never did. He had a secretary at his office now. Miss Lillie Letts, who chewed gum and wore d transparent, shirtwaists; but she was efficient, she did everything for' Neal that Anne had pictured herself doing some day. Anne sat at, home, coughing her head off for her cold had settled In her chest and aching all over, mentally as ! well as physically. There were no evenings together in the Morris chair, her head on his shoulder, his arms about her. She tried to wait up for him, night after night, but she was so tired, and he was so late nearly always after midnight. She was never asleep when he came in. but whether he hesitated to risk disturbing her, or whether he was too tired himself to crave for her never knew Anne companionship which it was he tumbled into bed beside her without a sign that he was aware of her presence. In the morning he never wakened nntil she shook him gently, telling him that he had overslept, or the telephone bell jangled across his blurred senses. Then he bolted his breakfast, and was gone. Then finally he came to her and told her that he had won. . . . So that was what a campaign was like. The legislature met in January, still two months away. In the meantime, Neal felt that he must, as far as possible, catch up with his neglected profession. It had been neglected, of course; but it had not suffered. He had gained prestige as a successful candidate, and new cases poured in upon him. He decided to keep an extra room, and Miss Letts. He really needed both. At last, he talked to Anne about his plans for going to Belford. I shall have to be there at least from Monday to Thursday every week. And it seems to me that It would be better for you to stay right on here. The sessions will be over in April. Of course it isnt as if you were In a house all alone, I know Mrs. Simmons is right here, and you can call on her. If you need anything." This time, had any reply been expected of her, Anne could not have made it. He meant to leave her behind I The idea had never occurred to her, and here It was ail mapped out, In orderly fashion, in his mind. He would miss her so little, with his new interests, that he could face with resignation with approval the thought of being separated from her more than half the time for several months. And she would not have left him, for any known bribe, to spend a few days during the torrid summer among the mountains, that were so dear to her. She had slaved for his comfort, for his well being, and she had insured both, at the cost of her own radiant health, for try as she might, she could not seem to pull herself up physically. Mercifully, she did not. doubt either his love or his sincerity, as indeed, she had no reason to do. He waa looking at the situation in the reasonable, logical way. the way he always looked at everything, the way that enabled him to get ahead so fast. In the flush of his victory. Null's dor flesh-colore- MIGHT BE EITHER "What business are you in? The film business. Ladies garments or moving tures? pic- . Catty Jane Jims so original. He says things to me that nobody else would dream of saying. Jill Whats he been up to now asking you to marry him? Montreal Gazette. Suburban Strategy Jones Will you raise your own vegetables next year? . Suburb No. Just praise the neighbors truck and theyll give you the best they raise as a brag ! Brooklyn Daily Eagle. To Prevent a Yelp What are you going to give your husband for his birthday? It depends on how much he wants to spend for it. , Much Simpler Lady (witnessing for first time) Wouldnt it be simpler, dear, for them to get a knife and tug-of-w- cut it? Boston Transcript YEAR AFTER YEAR THE STANDARD OF QUALITY mant passion for her awakened again and burned more hotly than ever be fore. But It had a different quality. If It was more Intense. It was less ten der. He sought to possess her the more completely In the present be cause the past had .dispossessed him. and because the future was about to do so, fiercely resentful of a condition for which he had only himself to blame. There was a lack of spon taneity, a weariness, In Annes re sponse, which changed it from an an swering flame to a mere affectionate and dutiful acquiescence; still, she never failed to respond. 'And Neal no ticed the change in her far less than she noticed the change in him. The holidays brought a flash of gay ety. Neal had whipped his affairs Int shape, and was ready enough t.o join in a few festivities before his departure. Somewhat tardily, he became aware that Annes trousseau had grown verj shabby, and that neither she nor he had snggested that she might like to have some new clothes. Neal gave her two dress lengths a black satin and a green voile and she made them up herself, on the superior sewing ma chine. On a visit to Boston, he bought a long, coat, with hat to match, and sent them to her. He never knew how seldom she wore them. His days In ITinsboro, which dwindled to one, or at the most, two, a week, were spent in feverish activities at the office. He gave up all pretense of getting home to supper, not even tele phoning any more to say that he could not do so. From Belford he wrote her hurried little notes on scratch paper every day well, nearly every day. It did not surprise him that her letters were not much longer, and not much more communicative than his own. He did not dream that day after day when he was not at home and indeed often when, nominally, he was. she did not get up at all, or very little. The cold had vanished at last, leaving her weak and listless; but uncontrollable nausea had taken its place. She grew steadily worse, while the tiny flat In which she had taken such pride and which she had kept so sweet and shining was left to neglect and disorder. And still Neal didnt guess, didnt notice Of course he loved her, loved her dearly, but was he blind? March came In like a lion, roaring lustily. Anne lay in bed, listening to the wind howling, to the Icy tapping of sleet against the window panes. It was nearly dark by four in the afternoon. She had not tried to get up at all, since it made her faint with dizziness even to cross the room to her bureau, and, after all, what was there to get up for? She drew the tumbled sheet up about her head to shut out the sound of the storm. As she did so, the doorbell rang. At first she paid no attention. NIt. rang insistently. At last she staggered to her feet, thrust them into her and threw her soiled kimono about her shoulders. When she reached the front door, some one was pounding on it Leaning against the wall, she turned the lock. Before her stood Mr. Golden-burg- . his kind, round face beaming with joy at the surprise he had given her. She sprang towards him with a cry of happiness. The next Instant she had fainted away. Laughable Mixed Metaphors to the accident, for It is recorded that a Glasgow attorney once said to his clerk : Instend o takin pledges yere always breakin, yed better make no promises at t all an keep them. Language, it would seem, Is a tricky affair. It should be handled with care. But if, now and again, a really humorous error is made, It may help if it is remembered that it heads upon that table to stare us in is good to prompt innocent laughter in the world even unintentionally. the face! was Washington Post. statesman Irish the However, not the fool he sometimes pretended to be. He used his skill to ridicule politics of which he disapproved, and it was an abundantly efficient device for that purpose. But the unnamed Birmingham lawyer had no such strategic objective in mind when he uttered the famous appeal to the jury which began; Gentlemen, it will be for you to decide whether the defendant shall be allowed to come into court with unblushing footsteps, with a cloak of Put Menfholatum In nostrils to relieve hypocrisy in his mouth, and draw tle three bullocks out of my clients congestion and clear the breathing passages. pocket with impunity. His performance demonstrated that the bull is ot an exclusively Irish production. And the Scots, too, are not immune Among Historic Bulls That Have Added to the Gay ety of Nations, Those of Sir Boyle Roche Are Probably Best Remembered. For some curious and undiscovered reason a ridiculous contradiction in terms customarily is called an Irish bull. The phrase long ago passed into literature and has constant repetition. Yet the fact of the matter is that the people of Erin are no more addicted to such mistakes than other races. Indeed, critics repeatedly have noticed that the average Irishman is a good deal of an artist in his management of language, and it has been said that nowhere else in Europe is it possible to find a more vigorous or picturesque than in the Emerald isle, where the influence of the poetry of Gaelic still survives. But no one will care to deny that some of the best bulls current in modern times have been of Irish origin. There is the classic about the two gentlemen, who, fancying that they were acquainted, crossed the street to shake hands. On discovering their error, one cried: I beg your pardon, and the other remarked : Oh, dont mention it. Its a mutual mistake. You see, I thought it was you, and you thought it was me, and really it was neither of us. And a second is cited concerning two men who were discussing the illness of a friend. Oh, hes got so thin, declared the one, and the other rejoined, Faith, he has. Im thin and youre thin, but hes thinner than both of us put together. Anecdotes of the mixed metaphors of Sir Boyle Roche, member of the Irish parliament, are legion in number. Mr. Speaker, he declared on one occasion, it is the duty of every true lover of his country to give his last guinea to save the remainder of his fortunes. Again, he said that: Single misfortunes never come alone, and the greatest of natures calamities is generally followed by one much greater. To him also is attributed the gem: Why should we do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for us? But Sir Boyles unparalleled genius reached Us apex in his denunciation of the French Jacobins : Mr. Speaker, if we once permitted the villainous French to meddle with the buttresses and walls of our ancient constitution, they would never stop nor stay', sir, until they brought the foundation stones tumbling down upon the ears of the nation. If those Gallican villains should invade us, tis on that table, maybe, those honorable members might see their own destinies lying in heaps atop of one another. Here, perhaps, sir, the murderous crew would break in and cut ns to pieces, and throw our bleeding folk-speec- h Head COLHS HereS that WAY TO STOP A GOLD Drink full glass of water. Repeat treatment in 2 hours. Take 2 Bayer Aspirin Tablets. If throat is sore, crush and dissolve 3 Bayer Aspirin Tablets in a half glass of water and gargle according to directions in box. Almost Instant Relief in This Way The simple method pictured above is the way doctors throughout the world now treat colds. It is recognized as the QUICKEST, safest, surest way to treat a cold. For it will check an ordinary cold almost as fast as you caught it. Ask your doctor about this. And when you buy, see that you get the real BAYER Aspirin Tablets. They dissolve almost instantly. And thus work almost instantly when you take them And for a gargle. Genuine BAYER Aspirin Tablets dissolve so completely they leave no irritating particles. Get a box of 12 tablets or a bottle of 24 or 100 at any drug store. ... DOES NOT HARM THE HEART and they Now, my tear lidel frient, tell old Abie all apoud it. Oh, Mr. Goldenbnrg, I am so glad to see youl I never was so glad to see anyone In all my life. Vel, vel you must yust lie still a minute, an holt my hant. I aint goner forgot to tell him it was run away. Youll feet petter bretty soon, hein? He had carried her back to bed, still bottle unconscious, put a at her feet, and dashed cold water over her white face. When she came to herself, she was crying bitterly, and clinging to him as if she would never let him go. So so. Where Is Neal? In Belford. From Monday to Friday every week. And from Friday to Monday hes in his office. histant hpf-wat- So uicic starting, tmng pick-u- p Conoco so. He doesnt know. He hasnt ticed. Oh, Mr. Goldenburg, Ive read In books about young wives whispering no- Bronze! their sweet secret to their husbands, blushing divinely, and both rejoicing, and the husbands surrounding the wives with the tenderest care. And all that. I never read a word about this awful nausea, and feeling as If youd rather die than live, and being lonely and forlorn. If I did tell Neal hed probably Just say, Oh Im in an awful hurry Just now, but Ill be glad to hear about it next time I come home. " Now den, Anne. You know dat aint fair to Neal. Well, has he been fair to me Id like to know? I wouldnt have known myself what was the matter with me, If Mrs. Conrad hadnt told me. She acts as If It were my fault youd think Neal had nothing to do with it at all and as if it were some dreadful crime. She had three children herDont you realize, self, didnt she? Anne, she said severely, that you cant afford to have a baby? And then she said something about she never talked to her son about self-contr- And we could afford a baby every year on the money Neal turns over to her I And she wont come and take care of me because she thinks I ought to get up and take l! exercise! Exercise! Haf you seen a doctor? "No, Mrs. "onrad said that wasnt necessary. She said it would be a That this rhia needless expense. awful feeling had to run Its course what you did. no matter So I thought" (to bb cowrmusnj At the Sign of the Red Triangle Baseball weather the year around if you use Conoco Bronze Gasoline! Cold motors these frosty mornings only demonstrate the surprising ease of starting that Conpco Bronze gives. According to thousands of enthusiastic users Conoco Bronze gives also, to a greater extent than all others, light- ning pick-u- p, long mileage, smoother operation, more No premium price is anti-knoqualities. power and high added for these premium qualities. ck CONOCO BRONZE GASOLINE INSTANT STARTING-LIGHTN- ING PICK-UP-HIG- H TEST |