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Show TRK SOTTTH rATUF. riTT7V OUR COMIC SECTION TTYWTTM. ITTAH LOOT A' FI MO (, SCOTT WATSON 1928, Western Newspaper Union.) irate Who Became a Judge to characterize the of the pirate career anomalous of Poole in known as Captain Cobham la cherchez Perhaps Dorsetshire. T IS difficult Our Pet Peeve If It weren't conceited Id say that I was a queen and that all the other fowls In the zoo were my subthis pirate leader appears the sinister jects, remarked Mrs. Horned Guinea the Fowl. form of Marla Cobham, one of and . most notorious of women pirates, And what about me? asked Miss But certainly the most bloodthirsty. cruel- Homed Guinea Fowl. not all of the blame for Cobhams I suppose you are thinking of the ties can be laid to the tigerish Maria. great beauty we possess and of our He was well drilled in infamy before special right to be called queens. -ever he took her aboard his ship to "For if you were to be a queen T become his partner in crime, and there should of course be one, too. was but little he could learn from her. I am your sister, yes, indeed I NEW HANDY PACK He had started young. At the age am. So I should be a sister queen. Thats absurd, said Mrs. Horned of eighteen he was a notorious ladies Fits hand It takes more than man and accomplished smuggler. On Guinea Fowl. 0 what you are talking about to be a one occasion he landed a cargo of pocket purse Poole queen. gallons of French brandy at reaTo be sure one of the first after successfully evading the kings More for your money to sons I had when I said I really had and the best Peppermint patrol boats which were attempting A little a queen, every right to say I was put a stop to the smuggling. Chewing; Sweet for any money later, however, his boat was captured was because of what you are thinking. "It is true I have a helmet or, as and this so annoyed the young smuglook for Wrigleys P. K. Handy Pack should say a crown. gler that be bought a cutter at Bridg-poronjmurDeal That is why I am called the placed an armament of 14 guns on her and, collecting a choice crew of horned guinea fowl because of my cutthroats, set out upon account" ' horny helmet I have one, too," said Miss Horned His first exploit In piracy was an Guinea Fowl. . one. successful and unusually daring Mrs. Horned Guinea Fowl did not Off the Mersey he intercepted a .big East India merchantman, boarded her tay any attention to her remark but and made the crew prisoners. From went right on talking. Now a helmet, she said, is somethis ship he took more than 40,000 pounds; then he scuttled the ship and thing to be worn on the head, and calmly watched the crew drown. Next so Is a crown. It would be quite enough for a he put In at Plymouth and it was there that he met Maria who was will- guinea fowl to have a helmet In order ing enough to accept his invitation to to be a queen. It is true too, that you are my come aboard with him and make a living by robbery on the high seas. sister. "You? head is a beautiful shade of By this time his fame had spread ' ', so that the English channel became too blue as is mine. And could be I if a queen, made he So his for operations. dangerous sailed across the Atlantic and lay In or if I could call myself a queen wait for ships between Cape Breton simply because of my helmet which would take the place of a crown in and Prince Edward isle. He took several prizes and invariably disposed of the guinea fowl world then you the crews in some heartless manner. could be a queen, too. "Albers stands for Just as 1 said, repeated Miss Better Breakfasts On one occasion he sewed up the unfortunate sailors In sacks and ordered Horned Guinea Fowl. Just as I said. But ah, my dear sister," clucked his villains to toss them overboard. Fupjacks and syrup ! What a sunMrs. Horned Guinea Fowl, it takes to decided Cobham retire shiny start for the day! And theres Eventually one thing sure about Flapjacks from piracy, but Maria would have more than a crown or a helmet to be a queen. theyre always tender, never soggy; none of It, for he had not yet secured ! At to "One be a to has has always light and one leader, enough wealth to satisfy her. So hq in the handy round grocer's your be fine noble and and superior. reluctantly continued his career until carton with the replaceable lid ! One has to be the sort ones subhe had gathered together a considerable fortune. Then he purchased a jects will respect and look up to and urge estate near Havre, and after admire." "More than one can be all that, one final fling at the trade settled He said Miss Horned Guinea Fowl. I Potatoes are a ,4. down to a peaceful retirement. paying crop in Florida. Can not only settled down but became emi- can be all that, too. always follow the same year with another doubt I I much doubt One very it, town of 700 ships a million it paying crop. nently respectable, and to cap the clidollars worth a year. For information on max of his strange career was made But I am certain of myself. That is the sort I am. But I do truck farming in Florida, write Dept, A, a magistrate and presided at the counnot want to tell that all around the DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE ty courts. When he died at an adTallahassee, Florida vanced age, he left many descendants Kissing as a theory is far less satiswho, we are assured by one historian, factory than a practical example. were moving in the first grade at Havre to do it, femme would be one way of for back of most of the deviltries .. XRBBBS and 10,-00- t, -- ' MICKIE, THE PRINTERS DEVIL Who Cares? easy-to-e- FLORIDA 1 Tanlac builds strong bodies Most Notorious Woman Pirate the "damsel Maria came the ship of Captain Cobham, the noted pirate of the English channel, there were murmurs of discontent among the crew. But the freebooters soon quit their grumbling for they found that Maria was a distinct addition to any aggregation of cutthroats. More than that, she was often a friend in need for them. Discipline on Captain Cobhams ship was severe. The slightest offense by any member of the crew was sufficient to give him a taste of the .and Captain Cobham was not famous for sparing the rod. But time after time, Maria used her influence with the captain to get an offending sailor excused for some dereliction or his punishment lessened and her popularity grew . apace. She won their admiration, too, for among a band where cruelty was a virtue she demonstrated unusual capOn ability for ferocity. one occasion she plunged her own little dirk into the heart of a Liverpool captain whose ship had fallen a victim to the pirates and on another it was her whim to have a captain and his two mates tied up to the windlass, whereupon she coolly shot them with her pistol. When Captain Cobham wished to retire she urged him on. to continue his piracies, for she had set her heart upon his buying her beautiful Mapleton hall, near Poole, where she had visions o'f ruling as a grand lady. At last, however, the captain had made enough of a fortune to satisfy her and she agreed to his retirement. One final act of Marias heartlessness preceded theii retirement. Cobham had captured an East India merchantman and carried the . crew aboard his -- ship in irons, Maria put poison in their food. The dogs are crowding our ship, she told the captain. . After Cobham and his Maria had bought an estate near Havre and settled down they kept a little pleasure yacht in a private harbor on the estate. One day he and Maria went out on a fishing expedition and came upon a brig becalmed near by. Cobham and his crew went on board to visit the captain of the merchantman. When they saw evidences of a rich cargo the old pirate spirit surged up In their hearts. Cobham shot the captain and Maria and his crew quickly disposed of the remainder. Although Cobham settled down to a quiet life and became a magistrate, Maria could not endure such a life and she ended it with poison. WHEN THE FEATHERHEADS Its Beauty Floored Him d "Stomach trouble, upset nerves, headaches, nausea and loss of sleep caused almost constant mis -cry and worry. "Tanlac quickly Mrs. zoo, Horned Guinea Fowl. as I do not want to seem d. , I would rather be a simple horned guinea fowl than a queen with a puffed up, conceited head in addition to my horney head. I am afraid that if a horned guinea fowl called herself a queen she would be more puffed up then queenly. "It is not queenly to be puffed np. But remember, my dear sister, that crowns dont make queens not real queens." Ah, poor me, sighed Miss Horned Guinea Fowl, you dont think I amount to enough to be a queen. I really think a lot of you, said Mrs. Horned Guinea Fowl, but Ive been in the zoo a much longer time and so I want to act a little superior. But you see I dont really think I should be a queen, though it is fun to think about it once in awhile." Oh, all right, clucked Miss Horned Guinea Fowl, for you have had the modesty, at least, to keep from really calling yourself a queen, j . . ' Out of Tune Little Billy Kent of fllmdom had been used to riding about iu a big car, silent and smooth, so it was quite a shock when he had his first experience with a . fliv. For a long time the little chap sat in silence with a puzzled look on his face. 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