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Show ni f i i uliii'i 'Hi'liiKilriin ' nip cxiiTmtcT n ci'vttwpi ITAH CMTTHFTET.D. 3) WORLDS BEST COMICS Glad L -E-very baby IV, ,. heard, is born with a soft 110t in its head, and once in a Wh;i theres one who never gets over it but grows up and, in preside, itiai years, goes around taking Slra votes on railroad trains in order definitely to find out which tick will be elected. He is a kindred spirit to the cthw fellow, who, to settle the who'e iZ sue right now and avoid crowding at the polls in November, offers to bet you a cool thousand that his man beats your man, and then, before leaving, tries to borrow five dollars from somebody so he can get his laundry out of hock. Having met both types within .the ten days before coming here and being fearful that both species is going to multiply rapid-lduring the ensuing three months Im thinking seriously of taking the veil until after the campaign ends. Politics certainly does breed iti ticks. -- Trimmed tyQUXK this job is bon- e- JWHE tl NOl WHILE FELIX IS CUPPlMfr THE HEDGE, ifct GOING To -' J COOL OFF IT COMES I- -TO PUTTlMfi- j liP - A FgMCe MAUy people start To HEPSB SMA'lT tR POP Yaint Looking al Him Right, Pop ByCM. . PAYNE y vHaTCA CAt I HOW LITTLE LOOC E? OUT ( Plenty Til 6 Enouc4 inhse. I Hie Little Red School House, days we also had the little red schoolhouse Maybe the reason we liked it then was that it got its red tone from I'm in my early VES, 1 the paint on the outside and not from the teaching staff on the inside. Likewise, in those unprogressive times, we thought the youth of the land should be taught to cherish the American flag for something besides private hissing purposes. jOdgjHjWj.Jy Tt lril Sydicw. In.) MESCAL IKE iru Vutes Bohemian grovi:, calif Lighter Side of Life as Depicted by Famous Cartoonists and Humorists THE FEATHERHEADS .about: Presidential Straw Hopelessly old fashioned, eh, what? huntut The Dictator Business. LOOKS as though, when the 1 battle dust lifts from that distracted country, Spain will have a dictator, dictators being fashionable. It seems to be comparatively easy to make a success of it, too. Just follow a formula: Make it a blasphemous violation of the first commandment for anyone to assign you second place. Be sure all sentences personally uttered begin with the capital letter I and end with the pronoun IT , V' 'I LAlMBRY me. Convince yourself that, in order FINNEY OF THE FORCE i I HI full-leng- th all see shtay tsbther- Ol'LL TAKE WEI SAFE 'CROSS TH shtbeet ramimber O'M HERE T' TAKE CARE O'SEZ Dip ever to behold any human being who is your equal in moral and mental stature, you must carry about with you a mirror. Never permit yourself to be photographed in your nightshirt, but always in full uniform. On arising, lock the jaws and clench the fists and leave 'em that way all day. And this is very important-ha- ve a dependable police force and somebody to pick on, pi eferably somebody without any friends. MO- W- MiSlfeR PI4CEMAKI-WAl- STOP His me POLL come T- ARE SbU TAKIH' MV TEST AS IP NER OwW MOTHERS AN FATHERS Win. HERE on- - MUMMVfc PLACE, 1 NOW i Do Your Duty well-th-en STOCKlMG's MV POV4- H- . COMING ry t please I J III?-- Ijll Kips will ; Be kips EVEKl 'WHltf tmeV Crow UP fr- -f Political Claim-All- s. CHRINKING JEEMS FARLEY announces the Democrats will carry every division of the Union, although privately he is said to be a little bit doubtful of two very backward counties in Vermont. While generously conceding the central part of Mississippi and the western end of Kentucky to the u j I 1) ! : . ADAMSONS ADVENTURES Rubber! By O. JACOBSSON enemy, diffident John Hamilton is ; j i sure the Republicans will sweep everything else. Congressman Lemke, mos. mod-- I est of the claimers, is certain he'll win in 40 states. Really, he doesn't need that many, hut 40's a nice even number. If the shy Dr. Town-- i send also should run, he counts on 20,000,000 votes in this country, be--j sides clean-cu- t majorities in Swe--: den, New South Wales and the land of Yap. Is-- l' Oxen Versus Onions. no aim to set up as a specialist in human behavior, I think Ive stumbled on a signifi-- I cant, timely discovery. I found in a scientific work this statement: Each living growth has to begin in a single microscopic cell. More- over, every future thing of either animal or vegetable kingdom con-- ; tains in that first cell a fixed num- ber of even more infinitesimal bod-- ; ies called chromosomes. In the ox, the guinea pig, the man and the onion, the number is the same in- -j Ylf ITH 10-- 4 INI. ftMUH Hm IMI j i I Comatose Courtship The Weavers are so quiet tonight Is there anything wrong? Gardiner No; theyre always that way. When he proposed he just held up a diamond ring and said Eh? and she looked at it ." and said Pathfinder Magazine. . Our Pet Pen Bier NkL Toj irutM j Uh-huh- j Vacation Romance? Youth Now, on this ring I should like you to engrave: For my darling Muriel. Jeweler Would it not be better to have simply: "For my dar ling? You see. air, it will be at least a week before we can let you have the ring. Hummel. poop immi poop that WIPER . uV).s i w to . j I UljDi toSHWSrRU. BCKKPwiHjM HrSS Mutual Concessions You dare to ask for the hand of my daughter and a few years ago you were ball boy at our tennis inay be a poor tennis player but that docs not prevent his being a ' good father-in-la- CMTHOrffoRMfir BtP FW ssmsgr W club?" "Yes, sir, I said to myself. Tie J ;.'J ten unseo ' con wnmwiMw,jwi( SOMt Of ton U 6lulrt S featwvrff W srsft. sect vuwii?VUP wnwpM v stoHCfMatopwmi j variably. I contend this natural kinship in classification may explain why, in campaign yeara, some of us are bellowing oxen, some are docile guinea pigs and most of the rest of us are just plain onions. IRVIN S. COBB. NU Mrvlra. Mormons Blade Own Sugar Cut off from the states and harassed by Indians, the Mormons undertook the production of their own sugar. Beet augar machinery was purchased in Liverpool, shipped to New Orleans, then up the river. Fifty-tw- o ox teams in 1852 finally tugged the equipment from Leavenworth to Utah and 500 bushels of beef seed arrived. This was the inception of the beet sugar Industry of Utah. |