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Show wn: , rm BBQ Lighter Side of Life as Depleted by Famous Cartoonists and Humorists 'JkumhA about War Debt Hangovers SANTA MONICA. CAl.IFi governmental finance for the fiscal year, Secre- tary Morgenthau doesn't even lisfj the thirteen thousand millions of dollars owed to us by defaulting foreign nations. at large won't forget. If you doubt this, wait till one of these debtor coum tries gets in .1 fresh! Jam and turns to Uncle Sam for su& cor and, brother, you can spell thsjt last word the other way and still be right. We didn't know what we were Un hito when we But Americans get-Irvln- Cobb S. stuck around too long after the fighting ended in 1918. Makes me think of a colored labor batallion who went on the loose at Brest on Armistice day. A hardboiled top sergeant rounded them up: Get to work on dein freight piles," he commanded. But de mess al. done over," declared a spokesman. "And us boys only enlisted fur de duration of da war. barked the sergeant, Lisscn, de war may be over, luk you specifies, but fur sich ez you dr duration ain't hardly started." Woes of French Hotels OVER the woes of the French resort hotels, anybody catches me shedding a tear, it'll come out of an eyedropper and not from the heart. I'm thinking particularly of the romantic and soulful Riviera, which, under the surface, is just os romantic as an adding machine and soulful as a cash regis- IF, ter. j There, where E. Phillips Oppen-hei- m once delighted to "op" and the Yankee suckers rushed in, ready for their skinning and never disappointed is the original home of the deft short-chang- e and the mastodonic overcharge. There I've seen tinny a mistake made in the bill and never yet one in favor of the customer. Influenza Complications CINCE the last bedside bulletin, so many souls have inquired, that I am offering a supplemental report on the work of the wrecking crew. First I cracked an ear drum. (Cries of "Whose?) Then this clinging California influenza moved slightly south by west within your correspondents area. So now Ive fallen into the hands of a throat specialist. A fine fellow but easily satisfied in the matter of entertainment. His idea of a sprightly conversation is to hold down my tongue with a spoon and have me say ah." What I claim is, when youve heard one "Ah," youve heard 'em all. But he fairly hangs on my words. There's a gleam in his eye I dont like. Hes beginning to crave my tonsils. t Taking Political Sides 'T'ODAY some entirely d ed patriot who is snuggled up close to the throne or hopes soon to be, proclaims: "Landon is as synthetic as a rubber duck. Roosevelt is the only hope of an imperiled people. What price a constitution when we can have frankfurters?" Tomorrow another gentleman, who likewise is as unbiased as a spitefcnce, bursts forth with something like this: Roosevelt and your country forever is wrecked. Landon alone can save our threatened institutions. A real statesman. He eats in the kitchen and hates to wear neckties." fair-min- - "Re-ele- Meanwhile, Mr. Roosevelt mains calm and seemingly confident. Governor Landon remains calm and seemingly hopeful. Taking No I'haucek Isn't anyone else having mushrooms for supper?" askeu the hand, noticing that he was the The Two Opposing Camps side there ON THE Republican temporarily is a lull. Incredible though it sounds, Col. Theodore Roosevelt, Jr., is not getting ready to run for anything. Later reports may change this. Organizing the speaking bureau for the Democrats, Chairman Ray-budoes not list among the chosen orators the nr.Tie of his most fellow Texan. In distinguished vaudeville it breeds a laugh when the second half of the sketch makes the wrong answers, but politics is something else again. Can it be that Uncle Jack Gamer has become the Gracie Allen of his sex? Only they do let Gracie talk! A writer who isn't taking sides wonders at length whether the homespun suspender-wearin- g qualities of Gov. Landon can overbalance the melodious and limpid lines of President Roosevelt. For this problem the appropriate musical accompaniment would seem to be, "Poet and Peasant." IRVIN S. COBB, Crrrifbt. WXL' m best, i? vT said the farmer. his new hand's room and asked him how he felt. "Fine," said the hand. Returning to the kitchen, and putting his head round the door, he It's all right, shouted to his wife: Jane, theyre not toadstoolsl No Tim gg!&tVg to wiMwe Notico Bystander Did you get the number of that car that knocked you down, madam? Victim No, but the hussy that was driving it wore a three-piec- e tweed suit, lined with Canton crepe and she had on a periwinkle hat. trimmed with artificial cherries. -The Mutual Magazine. jwrtowRwrwr i n, m jttNmrnt wWrr&T KKL ) I |