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Show Page 6 THE Officer Demonstrates Device SEAGULL Saturday, January 8; 1944 Employe Exhibits Hobby Guard Mountings By Ernest Bramwell NSD Clearfield, Utah January 1, 1944 Mr. 1944 Terrestrial Earth Hdatrs. Dear Sir: Anyone chump enough to show up right now and take over this crazy world for the next 366 days doesn’t deserve any sympathy, and I hadn’t intended giving you any tips as to what you’re up against. But the picture of you, I saw this morning—your cherubie face looking so innocent and bewildered—made me feel sorry for you. Why in the world didn’t you delay your appearance until some more propitious time? Old Man 1943 knew of the general mess and could have carried on for a few more months without hurting his reputation and name any more than as of the present. I’m inclined to think that he didn’t give you full details when you took over his post. Plenty of Aspirn? For the’ solution of most of the problems he left you, you’ll have to rely on your ownability. I can’t list all of them, but here is a glimpse of a few, and I hope you Lieut. Henry J. Crowdis demonstrates a new roller attachment for Clark lifts which will save 50 to 75 per cent of the man hours required to load and unload box cars. have an ample supply of aspirin and Bromo Seltzer: General Eisenhower has promised an European victory for the Allies during your sojourn At the same’ time, Hitler has piomised there will be no victor and no vanquished while you’re here, and Tojo has guaranteed the completion of a railroad fromhis Lt. Crowdis Invents Labor- Saving Device For Clark Lift Trucks By inserting two small sets of rollers on the forks of a lift truck a saving of from fifty to seventy-five per cent in manhours is being effected in the loading and unloading of cars at the Clearfield Naval Supply Depot. This use of the roller conveyor to the lift truck is simple, and can be readily installed on present equipment. This invention was conceived by Lieut. Henry I. Crowdis of the packing division, and the idea is receiving considerable attention not cnly Depot Personnel May Now Register For Free Classes in Washington but at supply de- pots throughout the country. Patent possibilities are now being . investigated. Rollers Enable The use of these rollers enables the operator to load prod- The government has organized a new group of classes at Weber College for depot personnel who are interested in special training courses. These classes are ucts to a higher level in vail- free of charge and are at conroad cars. Also it is possible to move products more rapidly venient hours for most employes. as they roll on and off the lift The schedule is as follows: quicker and with less effort. Aircraft Engines, 7:00 to 10:00 The operator can place boxes in the corners of the railroad p. m.; Auto Mechanics, 6:30 to 10:30 p. m.; Household Repair, cars and storehouses in a smoother fashion with this in- 7:30 to 9:30 p. m.; Machine Shop, Machine vention since the lifts are more 8:40 to 12:00 noon; helpful with the roller attach- Shop, 8:00 to 10:00 p. m., Friday; ment. The result is that the Machine Shop, 6:00 to 8:00 p. m., lift bars become very nimble Friday; Machine Shop, 6:00 to in the hands of an experienced 10:00 p. m., Monday, Wednesday, Tuesday, Thursday; Practical operator. Mathematics, 7:30 to 9:30 p. m., Reduces Labor From the cost standpoint these Monday, Wednesday; Welding rollers would be comparatively Preemployment, 4:00 p. m. to cheap to install yet they would 1:00 a. m., Tuesday, Thursday; not wear nor break the pallets Welding - Preemployment, 8:30 Furthermore, their use reduces p. m. to 1:00 a. m., Monday, the amount of lifting by human Wednesday, Friday; Welding effort especially where loads Supplementary, 6:00 to 8:30 p. must be raised high and pushed m., Monday, Wednesday, Friday; Mechanical Drawing, 7:00 into place. ’ With a slight redesigning of to 10:00 p. m., Monday, Wednesthe tips of each fork they are day, Friday; Structural Design, particularly adaptable to lifting 7:00 to 10:00 p. m., Tuesday, heavy boxes or crated material Thursday. from the floor, which have not Other classes are now being been palletized, and stacking organized; watch for announcethem either in freight cars or in ment. storehouses or vice versa, a phase of handling materials the largest independent cannery which by ordinary methods is in the U. S. located at Sacraslow and extremely costly in mento, California. , man-hours. Lieut. Crowdis has invented Crowdis Invents several other gadgets including Lieut. Crowdis, inventor of an attachment to the automatic the roller attachment, came to sealing machine in the SacraNSD in August soon after join- mento cannery. A married man ing the Navy. Before entering with four children, Lieut. Crowthe service, Lieut. Crowdis was dis plans to bring his family a warehouse superintendent at to Clearfield in the near future. empire to Berlin during the same length of time. Nowali you have to do is to seethat all three promises are kept. Mr. Stalin alone, knows what he wants, but he wants it this year, and all the Balkin siates, Italy and France want a restored stability. None of your predecessors has been able to crack this nut, and personally, I’m betting against you on this score. I won’t mention the wants of all the other nations — you'll find out about them. Iti War Ends Of course, if the war ends, your job will be much easier, for all you’ll have to do is to get the answers to the problems of jobrestoration, economic stability, rehabilitation and reconstruction, liquidation of national debts, and a myriad other minor matters. Then there is the question of a presidential election in the U. S. If you can satisfy the new deal, Mr. Wilkie and millions of Americans who are not satisfied with the other two, you'll go down in history as a most wonderful year. It looks now as if you will have some dealings with labor. Mr. 1943 tried his hand at this and came out third best in a threehanded game. You'll be a wizard if you settle but this one problem. Won’t Leap Year You would have to come as a leap year right when there is such a man_ shortage everywhere. It is impossible for a man, even with years of experience, to satisfy one) woman, so how you, a mere babe with no experience whatever, can satisfy millions of them is something I can’t begin to comprehend. Then you’ve got to do some- thing about Frank Sinatra. The Army turned him down because there are already too many women following soldiers around from place to place. After all, any man who can sing in Hollywood Bowl one night and send five women to the hospital is a problem not to be overlooked. Now, Mr. 1944, there is the possibility you might develop into a spineless weakling and decide to leave these problems to your successor. In this event you'll want some accomplish- Philander Hatch and his ‘‘Philander Girls” Philander Philanders Around With His “Philander Girls” Philander may philander around.. with.. his “Philander Girls” during his spare time, but from 0809 to 1790 six days a week his time and energies belong to the Clearfield Depot, and more particularly the Advance Base Section. & Communications Chatter In the Communications department it was observed that Martha Reneer is sporting a sparkler on her third finger left hand. Also Georgia Montgomery is less intricate ones to work on: Philander Means the new supervisor of the TWX Back in the hey day of the Greeks, philander meant a lover code for teletype. of man, but in 1944 even Webster agrees that a philandere1 has more love for women than We Need Hence Mr. Hatch conWe Guards need a Sentry box men.. placed between No. 2 water tow- siders his given name an aper and the adjacent jeep road. propriate trade mark for his Phil, inciNot only would this make for curvesome cuties. greater security of our steward- dentally, is the namesake of his bequeathed ship, but it would insure the Duty grandfather who Officers being able to more read- him $1,000 as compensation for ily find the Guard stationed on going through life tagged Philthat post. Then we wouldn't ander. To construct a ‘Philander have to explain that the Guard might be here, and then when Girl,’”’ Phil begins by making a he isn’t that he might be there, wire structure which he builds all the time trying, with urban- up with plastic wood. After the ity, to meet the D. O.’s gaze wood has been molded and carwhich seems to say, ‘‘Why are ved it is sanded smooth, then you covering up for him and covered with ten coats of lacquer and oil paint. Between each Where is he?’’ coat the doll is sanded and polThen, Mr. 1944, we need some ished. Constructing an orignal shells to see if we could shoot takes most of his spare time for straight if we had to, and a a couple of months. place to shoot them; we need some heaters in our trucks, with Makes Mold the de-frosters connected so we After the original is comcan see where we are going when visibility is zero; we need pleted, he makes a flexible mold, some 8’’x8” plates bolted on the then casts the doll in hard plasedges of the narrow bridge west ter. The plaster doll takes only of F-2 so that one of these icy eight coats of paint but each nights we won’t demolish a truck coat must be sanded and poland kill a few guards; we'd like ished. A plaster copy takes six to have a Master Key to call our to eight hours to finish. Mr. Hatch has had no _lesown; anr we'll need some good replacements for the ones of us sons or training in this work but he has been experimenting with who will be in the Army soon. Everyone in the world has this type of sculpturing for about many such problems. If you two years. Other hobbies which get discouraged after you've Mr. Hatch has investigated to been here awhile, my only ad- date include photography and recom. TWX, incidentally, is vice would be to call the whole thing off, including the element we! call Time, and solve everything large and small, once and for all, by just quitting and permit the world to come to it’s ments to report to whomever long-predicted end. you report to, so here are some Philander Hatch, better known as Phil to his friends, hit upon the above-pictured dolls when constructing an advertising display for a commercial window decoration. The dolls he has molded in several different poses and he calls them his ‘‘Philander Girls.” Dubiously yours, CIVILIAN GUARDS icthiology. At one time he had a large acquarium of tropical fish. Also Invents Also Phil experiments with electrical and mechanical gadgets and has made a few inven-< tions, although none have paid~ anything to date. |