Show w IN “One of those zealous preachers who of a moral arrived at his log church img one morning quite late and took for his text ‘Marvel not’ and then went on in the following strain in his peculiarly g urawuug nasal voice: “My friends the Scripture says ‘Mar vei not and hence it is wrong to marvel i A I was riding along this morning er on half-singin- my way to tins place I happened to iook up and I seen a parcel of boys There was a lean so thm that it sueiaoo as though if playing ' v m ffiarbies-e- r had been a little thinner the wind nil a a bleu would ¥low him away-o- rj ntiu there was a fat hot there so fat that Oku irtiuii u nitlf fatter he would j looked almost as broad as he was And they were playing mar longer Mes-e- r and I heerd what they said-e- r Anti so 1 heerd the lean boy so thin that it seemed as though e$ he had been a lit-t- ie tmamir the wmd when it blew would biovv him awav-e- r say ‘I’m fat’ And hte hed-er- r for he was no more fat than I was-e- i And then they piayed agaui-e- r and 1 heerd the fat boy so fat ef he had would have looked almost as brtkiaslong-drsa- y ‘Pm lean’ lied-eAnd he r far he was no more lean than 1 wa-e- r And there come up a lit tie hoy who was jrery spry and spry es a AncTne kept running about crickfer y and jtumtmg atyj shoumjg-Q- r And he the leti andma little whiie played E kli " I heerd him say ‘Bv golly' — I'm dead And he lied-e- r lor he was no more dead-e- r Now my breth-Tethan 1 was-e- r the Scripture says thou shait not Beer and you see ‘marbleing’ leads to And you aee how very wrong it to isj ‘marble’ And therefore 1 say again '‘'Jdarvei-not-er- 5 H er j I “and von men are the -- - wooden from men as transplanting takes the woody particles from cabbages Sometimes alasl there is very little left It matters not how trifling the speciality if a man only knows something that nobody eke knows the world will respect him PL £j A very curious mode of trying the title to land is practised in Hindostan Two hikes are dugumuhe disputed spot in each of which ihe lawyers ori either side put ond of their legs and there remain until one of them is tired or complains of beinjr sturrrr hr insects— in NNdneh case his ciiern loKiag: “Wanted at thisoffice an editor ’Y caJiifi&se every one Also a fore-wh- a ano arruage'the pa per al to auow every man’s adverusement to head me column ' A Hnle Gov some six years old was !Mf” huRewicii usi aao slate on ifto Sabbath wnen iHs miner who was a clergyman emeetMLaMLsaiil squX prefer that ou use mot vour state on the Lord’s day’ ‘1 m wHinnu meeting-housfather’ was es the prompt reply Douvias Jerrold once said to his brother romancer: “Dickens tbe difference VPU vou hr- - andye ii it that is this- - We are both Inrtljnvtwthai 1 am i°rt!Tth vet ’ " toviw inspection ot a FIXE STOCK TZAIN a ROCKED HOODS AND BBTI ‘at P JME A jew k IN liRKAT an? COGD VXXIETT HARTIWARK KAIL? CLOTHING - TAINT CLOTHING oru ! VfilCJrrSH Tk In ‘rrvrT variety U3M rw WINIXITT OCERIES Stoves Vlnwfeire J VTfOEP i 0 T FATTCY DR Y 4-- BOOTS tcf etcGENTLEMEN’S far ku an! CAt FLANNELS w BOOTEES oil e L? RATS HOS1 Ell V df U meu-- tlis Good bare heen nelcrte l with crcat enreaid the rvrr finest quality co utpri 4 Stoves!! ALLEN nnttl the of punne patronage OOWT’KJai'fO- - ap Steves! Oln rroR Oil trr-rar-- tnen TXtK STIXIK AT TTLK - rrc The confab went on until the Major if Lt H O yVj ON S anoounce to the CittUMts ofjjiMiawa remarked in the language of the Gover- - Bepfotiolly UuP tint tty nor of South Carolina addressed to his hso hist Excellency of X or th Carolina “that it was win b foaod repletUHjLi witti fall uar of CHOICE a long time between drinks ’’ and suiting Si PAIHTS OILS LEATHER BBPC the action to the word stooped down to n DRUGS AND MEDICINES the get jug which he had set between his ' I KINDs but & loUt waii like tl GBOCKER1 CUTLERY legs the bog nun iest uraatibt PAINTS OILS DTETCPFS u tl Conprislat: And a Thonssmd other Articles for The Major looked at his gtwstsm amaze- Daily and in tact everything awcawwrv J Lse and tPmfort ment tor an explanation but no expiana-lio- n charts oak make it iwrlect NEW ERA could be given the jug had disap-“- I Several more Train on the Rnn PEERLESS peared as mysteriously as a ghot at cockvon crow Search was made inside the tent ACORN and and out but no jug could be found ' Its FLOUR BARLEY ETC 0AT2 PKNMTPY mysterious disappearance brake up the BOX and PARLOR FTOVfe? in grmif arret v ' x vr si I WIIr EXOIIANOT ALL KINDS vF party and the Illinoisan as he looked him A LARGE ASSORTMENT m the face and with the gravity of a Of M C I--I Christian commissioner remarked thatL 9r “he had indeed a mori b4 exernpiary AS ARAvr AT llJ DAtClWllr rll mil mIJI'PIfFY'j TlfiVn Iri set of men” AETV STORL CASH RATES! The Major adjourned to bed and next jjy morning found his jug stuck on a peg at r v 'jt- '? 1wt on hand his tent door bottom upward The fact Orders PSgmptiv Executed was the boys outside the tent heard the Major boasting of their honesty and concluded to piay him a trick and while he They have for SALE the foflowifig anmk Leavenworti was busy expatiating Upon their good F Jos Kovnnan ©-- S L Kansas City up" the tent qualities they pulled Beware! pegs r4& raised the side of the tent and stole the GUy CHARTER OAK Cookinc for Wnofi e jug from between ins legs Once in their FANCY DWARF Office Coal possession it was only natural that they CANNON Coal AT should drink their gallant commander’s BOX health and like honest fellows as they $iicctsorioj Powers Newsman fr Co fi N " 22 RitNSOHOFF S CO’S & and TUNC are return the jug empty as an evidence EAST TEMPLE STREET G8L CITY of the truth of his statements” Clotfains: This feat was equalled by one perform3tT LARGE AND OOMVLETE ASNWTmYT ed by the boys of an Ohio regiment who WEST SIDE EAST TEMPLE STREET (OPPOSITE were on a raid with Gen Mitchell in THE OVERLAND STAGE OTTlCi: Uat: 62 ir the neighborhood of Bridgeport ITEAA'RR ruvraRs Where they will be jilwei to sbrrw tbe public tbAlabama:' The regiment was at that canrEKE r time hi ftsseH with a Quartermaster WOOL 'ad who and 0fTERrf:I temrn knew how to capture and appropriate All ervtrebel property PIVXX AXI) FANCY HOME AKH' Boot and Mho-At Bridgeport hesticpehded fee curing DREbL AND STAPLE GOODS MEN'S LIGHT and HEAVY two barrek of wLisky which were taken ikmK vwshbO f to Stevenson and MISSES latreat on Time Dfslt3 by special KYElt OFrERIB IK THIS MARKET gutonm the railroad de-- andPaytransact a Busin to CHILDS “ Jiot await tnmsportation to DuntsviUe : The troys smelt the aVderit and deputed eOTlHT:SPD"NrrEXT WOMENS “ vt KemjpoRtaa m mM M iSpi y one of their number to go into the room Dr Co xel e '- — - - - Philadelphia dnecutwarc: Co Scott Kerr k Leavenworth Kansas svbere the barrets were placl dh end to 25 CRATES of S2 THEIR OLD AT ESTABLISHMENT ‘ i take a survey of the "premises The Col- CROCEERV onelmd the Quartermaster were in the CHINA ao3 below the Overland Staare Oflkt Citr tSt GLAf? room and a guard was at the door to prepa r: CfltBpriwBj every article needed in a f vent ingress but the spy wished to speak HOLLA - AT St HAXSI'l 4 VHFY HAVE A COMPLETE STOCK OF f TJ to the Colonel and was Sjtu permuted to apBANKER 1 W ' the It door for that purpose He was proach Carpet: GENTLEMEN’S FURNISHING GOODS m 2 and u i'U ut atm i a DEALERS IN EXCHANGE evidently good mathematician for with f : rjr--- TI I DRUG STORE ? Dry Doads etc etc f i ! Coal Stoves y : “f NOW OPEN t-- ? it 1 C Wi f A Eldreikf1 AXDISE Hooper E'B - fa 20 Peoria Plow's for - £ -t- NEW s gold ' ' "" - STORE nvrsT - hjest sttlc of FOEEIGX e-- ’ i SHEET-IRO- N - - 1 ea- - it J -t- T- i -- - Jat mohruers At tie breakfast of a funeral and was gravely told in explanation: “Blew you sir they’re not laughing they’re only- - dissembling” fol- - I BOUItXE a XEEIHIAM 25-tf wtn l Picwi which eenn t fiul HfTBtAS Gcnpral-Barikin- as- ine Uulpepper Observer has the the Knat nt an enri r Armlv Mrlv t t the jollity of the dayhy j SEA SO A irr hi n ia H3W0Y1tfm I oppos-dfifkOtong'ilig- SPECIALITIES FOIE a f KldreAr Mnerper & t HEW BUILDING tc ’ S A L AT j noei no pw t trVweibWi j - iatenda etarting ON ffW don’t- - 1 ! ible " “Do you think I’ll get justice done me?” dy r? with tiratr 1 gat” was-Nfrea- ' AiOUKT w4“ch SGDHiEEBIl sermon strongly proves the necessitv of aims I have almost a mind to turn beg- - ntry ef ergvman City to lav or - 'kfifajUL A notorious miser having heard a very eloqent charity sermon exclaimed “This tonished one th - Traveling is said to take all that is A ’ ter ffl wit? :t op any tWH ft E i s” L r&M r it ' -r- - hus-bandr‘- ui L Xw ET C H T Wt ’A ef rr-- fxn ‘ttetatt bills inroLESATX ir-rr t TH rc U‘ wiiich is b mnz 1 ’V friends” “Marriage” said an unfortunate graveyard of love” “Yes” A F ! all ages our W '! V'H -- has jtwt rarcivad aaothr- - Tri with a SPLNDTD ASSORTMENT HlECHAKmsr fuel pr jfeC GOODS 3?trKCHASDD " ' thip Market ami IK dfstwad 12-t- j rider wouid'mn at your approach “In youth” says Lord Bacon “women are Dur mistresses at a riper age our companiohs in old aire our nurses and in think you will” replied the other “for see two men on the jury who are n m tf t ta “I :rrrftrnc n Wood m not afraid of a barrel of cider 'd presume not I guess SL barrel of a culprit to his counsel that ana ?m m FSSseiIw a eu fa w S GODBE in wmoonrtne U hi - to give it the advantage of a good light Bp as courteous toxour fellow creatures axu r picture sail It have uu hand the h OOLlFm you fry grave-digger- wA I MOST TAMED AS SOHTMEXT OF Tamm ance of it ivpfMd ' ‘fibs NTOVKtf i 1hs Stc ia the 1 eastekk Wtsl 1 ' "'Fttirnes tHe most Tailhful 'in the pefform- - sir” EKX PTECHASES fc MERCHANPTKE I AiaVrg received the whole of my EAST I One of the firm ? but Error fovpstowalk arm in arm with truth to make itself thought respectable fiByeho3Ticw in makrog a promise is asou iv I able companion invited some officers from an Illinois regiment to share his good fortune Himself and friends were seated at his quarters when one of the Illmoi sans said he was greativ annoved by the pilfering propensity of his men The remarked that he had the most Major honest set of fellows in the army and expatiated at some length on the extreme The Sucker was honesty of his soldiers surprised to hear so good an mccount of Michiganders and congra i uisy ed dp Major on the good raorai standing of his FRRSH ARRIVAL ok lia morning ” We wiH also contract to Purchase The Major fortunately "ferd r irnwogal Ion jug of brandy and Driver OOODfei on the Frontier wt at him sent bv a just friend and heing a social and very agree- - any point desired lr-ing-- but not stern: hav® moral don’t "bristle with it EAGiiguEftmmirM' m k fill it up with whisky mix it well eo to bed put yotrr hat on the post at vour feet and drink oat of the jug until you see two hats and devil a ccdd you’ll have in the m few If a military camp a Eden and everything to please ad perfect the wm&fct enjoyment could be found therein a whts t up as was the apple tree of jugf old to test the soldiers’ obedience would be sute to produce a second fell The of the original Paradise would be serpent the serpent Kill We have two anecdotes in point A wag of an Irish sutler down in a Tennessee camp gave his Major aTecipe for a cold that was the cause of much merriment The Major a gallant Michigan officer was greatly exposed on a late raid lying out in wet and cold without tent or blanket for several weeks be returned to camp suffering greatly from a ooid The sutler advised him to take a hot Irish whisky punch when going good to bed --Tim Major not being au fait at punch making asked the stub was done ‘Take” said jfeu ‘rflntRo n and jug put into it a little sugar then a little water then a power of whisk v then W ' FOR THE fr F!ff i were -- Jen-w- msawwkmme t 1 i ii T i - t i k 4i H ffti one glance he located the position of the GOLD DUST si two barrek and reported to ni® men outside at the bi OF THE OVERLAND ST AO E LINE EAST OFFICE an Instantly ayger was procured TEMPLE STREET CLSL'CnT and a hole bored through the floor and 1 t ’Ifv a barrels through which the liquor was MOST SI PERU QI AIITY VIRGINIA CITY MONTANA TERRITORY drawn into buckets and all the canteens i wHl find Dnraasv! Dealer THl! Osnntry in the regiment filled PAT HIGHEST EATES FOE In half an hour WILL ia purchasing from - The Highest Price paid Jhr half the regiment were hors du combatl f DUST GOLD AID MIK and the Cokmei was at his wll’s end to SELL SIGHT AND TIME BILLS ON rrt PIUTDrCE OF ALL EIXDj a hundred quell m fights He could not tell New York where the hquor was procured and after San Fitnefiao Cal Vtrrinia City BBASS searching every house in Stevenson in je m vain timed to toe guard anckaccused him RDERS raeaived bv the of allowing the men to tap the two barkind of Atchioon BRASS TSETRUMEX’! V7 rels The guard protested his innocence Trices J AAA HORN'S with P1BION TALVKS not bet the Coiooei was mcredulotrs until the including Freight forBJLKDS at bar were removed found empty and fit CtoTent Rates of Exchfiog f fit 1 i Im MimbfrA tko solved that relieved tKe Q Oo Draw Bill on Liverpool London and Pari A W i imwle in qur Collections Omt Britain M ‘tlSffOiijjAaiiifc r of liH preriou6 freio-hia i ormitoPB t Vrnirbr purdHtFVd apj Frarirc DAV1P O CAUJKK tointer i -- m! niti SCHOOL and BLANK BOOKS ? “f j y-- Ntiitiofirry Full Line of 8KATHF :'v‘ j ' ' : FOOLSCAiyWGAL CAT NOTE RILT U3TEn 1’APll V u- i if To Farant 'MU ? DOZE N r: PADEF ISSTKimiTS- - 4 RATE SHOVELS v' - mas RdKK- aCTTHK-- sum5 ? lO-- Ff OOPFP V ELPTtVTx V |