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Show by John flegis "EDITOR'S NOTE: Behind some show got a lot of swamp; I mean' you know g that when you see people with alligators down the main street. business names there is often a story of particular poignance, hilarity, or, mistaken as in John Regis' case, identity. He comes from the hills drag-racin- meet a man who still has both and his appendix, chances are he's a doctor. If you of Southern Missouri, and his real name is Johnny Ray, the name he used when he first went into show business. He was in the Air Force stationed in San Antonio, Tex., around the time the Johnny Ray record, "Cry," came out. Suddenly, he was engaged to appear at the country club there. "When I pulled up in front of it, I couldn't believe how packed the place was. thought, these people really support their local club. The audience kept asking for "Cry," so I went to the manager to see what was up. "I made a mistake," he said. "I thought you were the Johnny Ray." So I right away I started looking for a new I stage name, and by some mysterious process I hit upon Regis. Regis was director of entertainment in the Air Force for four years, spent some time as a talent agent, and started doing his comedy act full time in 1965. He's performed in many hotels in the San Francisco Bay area, and in the Puri ple Onion, and hotels in Las Vegas, Lake Tahoe, Reno, and 17 Playboy Clubs across the country. Here are some of his stories and char acterizations ! I always sit in back of the plane, for a number of reasons. First of all you never heard of a plane backing into a mountain. I've entertained in towns all over the just came back from one country. which well, you know what :nd of place it was? I went into the local Howard Johnson's, and the surprise flavor was vanilla. On Saturday night you get all dressed up, go downtown, and step on crickets. In fact, when I first arrived I said to I his tonsils Watching the Watergate hearings brings to mind my Ozark Mountains grandfather. He used to say, "It ain't the things you don't know that get you into trouble." His Irish hillbilly sense of humor frequently hit the target straight on. I remember him saying, "Politicians are about as worthless as airbrakes on a turtle." the taxi driver, 'Take me where the action is." He took me where I could fish illegally. I live in Nevada. I think everybody's been to Nevada if only to spend a year's pay. Well, I'll tell you a little thing about Nevada, we have an unlimited speed limit. They figure any guy who's driving back to L.A. broke wants to get there quick so he can stop payment on the check. I was going through this small mountain town and a cop comes up to the car. "You were going too fast. I clocked you at that intersection at six mph and e zone. I reckon I'm gothat's a ing to have to give you a ticket. Here's my ticket book, and here's my ballpoint pen. You take it and write down what I tell you." five-mil- recently played in New Orleans, and if you've never visited there, you should the whole area, it's beautiful. They've I Grandpa McNally was the first "put-on- " artist I knew, and he loved to catch me with his stories. Here's one: "I knew this man up on Beaver Creek who discovered a spring with water that could make a fellow 15 years younger." When I asked him if it helped his friend, he replied, "Yes, but it darned near killed him he was only 12 at the time!" ... that his grandma was hard of hearing, so his grandpa invented a very inexpensive hearing aid he hung a sign around her neck that said: "Shout louder." He told me Grandpa claims that his grandfather was the man who invented the mule and put thousands of people out of work. singer I worked with recently complained that she only received three congratulatory telegrams on opening night. Since I hadn't received any, I didn't understand her complaint until she explained that she had paid for four. A When the whole gang gathers at their favorite sandy spot, its a natural occasion for a beach party. So grab your beach gear and Join in. And dont forget to pack a supply of Tampax tampons. With their dependable internal protection, nobody has to know you have your period. There wont be any bulges under your swimsuit or any discomfort as you run and splash and swim. There wont be any odor to make you self-conscio- us. More summer sunners and swimmers tike you are turning to Tampax tampons for protection that frees them to live the active life. And when the beach is your way of living, thats reason enough for a party. The internal protection more women true! that you're deceiving me by telling me the truth." 'Edgar, since we have this waterbed, I feel we're drifting apart." B. LEVINE i 2 Im out here in the garden.' MOW MADE 0NLV6V IttCO TAMPAX INCORPORATED, MHJ.IOMO Of PALMER, WOMCH MASS. 23 |