Show t i 1 Old St is d l j R B I N H 0 0 D I i Robin Hood vas a l cal Gr Grafter He a good many CenturIes ago arid and knew only the ABC of York Work SWI he managed to make malce dr ve very Hobin Roo being a Good f away away from flom the and slip It to the Poor although e C have n no l from the tho Auditing that the Poor always came iu iI for tor their 50 per cent Robin Hobin Hood lUte like most ot of the success successful ful Mon Men of history born bornfell fell far away from the Wicked InfluencEs r F the CIty It ts t a fact 1 h t all of o the spectacular I Arm o operations in the history the Popo la wore worl Jut Ut through by rugged men I born bom out on tho F an ht up iii on the Catechism Hobin Hood hasp haA been featured a In song story for nearly one thousand fars Why so o BecauSe he got away th the th Ip l maIe a gle great Rep for tor himself he be heC beU C U C ho he happened to JIve hive at a time V IH ht u II Competition was very slack un and I Art of f shaking down the tho was still In its Short clothes J Jr Hobin Hood were with us today he her r either to trim his wick or orF F ut Iut He Ie would be a Laugh I is f It a Celebrity that wo have been I into Books and Comic Operas i nI bragging about for many genera t tiu If all because ho he was supposed to tolu lu 1 a nury Footpath Footpad who was smooth h to give the sarcastic Bl at to toU 1 U t States Attorney and the Grand I Theoretically we are lr all on the Square but just the same we rio do to read about the Hero who can cati put a apiece piece of Blue Hardware in his Back Pocket arId go out and get a Good Liv LivIng LivIng Ing without working for it Robin Hood is I still one of the Idols of Innocent Childhood although L t y he has hag be been n sh up more orless y and ana Bill Dalton The best we can sa say for Robin Hood Hoodis is I that he got an Income by coarse antI and primitive Methods If he could sneak out Into the Preserves and get n a Jack Rabbit or a Deer and thet reach rench home without being shot Tall full of holes by thu tho Kings Foresters he thou thought ht he was doing a very tidy Piece of Work He ne never r tackled any real FInancing Except when whon he met some Lonely Trav rray Traveler eler on the tho Road when he would strip him down to Ills hIs J Jaegers egers and semI s up the road rond with an arrow sticking in his ShoulderBlade just as a He had a lot to learn For instance he wa sas always with the Sher SherIff Ire Iff of Nottingham instead of declaring himself with the Sheriffs Machine and getting all of the Privileges for Sher Sherwood wood Forest We Vo have ev evry fry reason to belieVe that it if Robin Hood could land and In among us today he would take advantage of oUr advanced und and improved Methods and show himself a real Artist fIe He would abandon the class or of out the crude Petit Larceny and get In line Jine with the real Con and Short Card Experts of cf the Pr Present Day or all the antiquated d and weather beaten Stories probably there I Is none more thoroughly rl need of revising than that of Robin Hood HoodLet HoodLet Let lis t suppose that Robin now on deck He is a bright and en enterprIsing Young Man Ian Ung in one of the remote He has lias a na natural natural tural aversion to Manual Labor and possesses the rudiments or of an Education tion on and is good It iM 1 a h ther out to tobe tobe be a t successful B ber or kits Jets his f ak Th m t to support I him Robin Hood looks about him and ha sees that the World orld is of He learns that the tho Rich have more Money that the Poor whereas the Poor Poo should have twice as much qs the Rich and also A nual Passes on all the Roads Road Being Behig a lover of Inn kind he be longs longs to a piece or Lead Pipe and go out and adjust Matters He discovers also that the only cinch rule for becoming a Popular Character t Is to attack tha th Money Power so he decides to to n make a effort to separ t pampered Aristocrats from their Sur Surplus Surplus plus The Original Robin Hood was vas a crude Amateur He got his Easy Eay Coin by buckIng the Law an had to un under under der cover about of the time Th The mo 1 rn Robin Hood tabors labors for forthe forthe the Brotherhood of Ian Ifan and pUlls down aown downan an occasional Piece of Money while operating in the name namo of the Law LawHe LawHe He does a little hotfooting among the Voters and is elected Then he gets geta out on the Main Pike with a Watch and Hickory Club and waits walts for the Oppressors s to i come along in th their ir French Cars Those havIng the Dingus s thrown wide open zip b by him so o fat fast that not ing can be seen seine GoggI and a little Blue Smoke But those that are not going so fast he is enabled to arrest In the name ot of 1 the Outraged Law for exceeding th the Speed Limit The Speed by the wa way is eight miles au all Hour and Is vio violated violated b by everything except Cows The Plutocrat with th Fuzzy Fuzy Coat has a when he lines up in front oe Magistrate The Thel Magistrate l Is a ut it e man mali who raises Chickens on on lh i and ha baa Iceland oss grott ng iii Adams Apple The Squire got ver very much of a on Blackstone but h he knows one Rule of Evidence and that thatis is Everybody except a Constable s a 1 natural horn Perjurer S he taps tIle the Owner 1 for aU all that he will lIl stand without taking an appeal and then he a and Constable Hood go Into the back ack room and split it up after which the vigilant Official goos back to the Thoroughfare and gets a arree Tree rree waits or another chan chane e tp to nail some Commercial Baron who looks a as lie he would be able to Cough By thus laboring to protect the Peace and Db Dignity of th Commonwealth ev ery rr Sunday Robin Hood pads th the Bank Ban Account until he is enabled to add an L JI to the House and buy a side sidebar sidebar bar Buggy with yeU yellow Hv Running Gar Encouraged by these early Efforts at atthe atthe the equa of WEalth he branches out and begins casting for Summer This Is I where he makes the orIgInal Robin Hood look like a weak minded Ho He send an Ad uP to Papers and tell teIl about the P Pure re Air the Good Fishing and the Home Cooking making it so strong that he almost be believes it himself When the denizens or orthe or orthe the wicked Metropolis who are work working ing night and day to rob the f ii I 3 V I s T b I I i ir iI I r 1 I f t 1 4 V i He Leans Back in in the Pew on S Sunday Morning 1 1 i 4 J r A Sc w 0 0 0 a aI ai ac alv I l i c lv I ta 1 4 S S 7 S S S t Then Out S of their just of our National his Game and come out to enjoy a rollicking Ta cation in the CoUntry he orde a dozen Cots and one of Tinned Goods and begins about the same ame as thE Holland Does his Conscience nce e a Smite All the adjoIning Yokels admire Mis Mister tel ter Hood for being cute enough t to th tl tb i go round around wearing el P to IO r 4 H He is what is l known In Cisco own as a Hot Potato athi very po because lu is so against thE Corporations He learns in time that anyone any one who wishes to be a Friend to the Tolling ToilIng Masses lasses cannot afford aiford his own own time in mere toil toU H He must bound Into the Arena and g give e the Octopus it t I lck op 01 the Shin He lies awake nights asking l ims lf these Questions How Hon can I Organized Wealth What are tho for wresting the arn d In Increment Increment crement from the insolent Magnates and bringing it right back heie to the Soil S Finally a Great Light breaks in upon him and the Voice of Duty calls caUs to him through a Megaphone It says Br Break ak into the you Lob Lobster Lobster ster for behold the Harvest is whiten whitening lug ing and if you dont get a wiggle on yourself the other Reformers still ill have all of the Pies divided before you rou move up to the Table So he put a card in the Home Weekly to the effect that his Friends have hae urged him to permit the Use of his Name and therefore he is willing to sacrifice e his Private Interests and be a Servant of the Think of the original Robin Hood crawling through the underbrush to plunk an arrow into a Wild Boar T The e modern Specimen loads his bis Gun with Slugs and goes after Rai way Presidents dents I After he has fearlessly denounced Wall Street to toa toa a Cind Cinder r the from f om the Back TownshIps perched upon his is B ri fels felsIn is In a short time he g gb down to the State Capital wit an American Flag Fag in his Hat and a Jimmy In his Tete Tele Telescope scope scopeS S He begins introducing Bills calculated to drive drie out or of Jie state t every Sc Scoundrel un undrel drel ho has as mo cHi pe ge gehe s h ie loosens his Collar EI l T Tes er es th in the Gallery Galler 5 Then the Attorney With the Prince 5 Albert who belongs to the same Lodge comes around to the Hotel to s e him Can he Intimidate or bunco Our HerO Her HerNot Not for Tl e best he can do dois dois is to induce the to go all over the Ground with and then accept five fhe or six Am Amendments The Hon Robin Hood is a sensible Statesman and he tl that t ho ha cannot trim th the Cohorts of Wealth he gets real realS close to them So h ho begins sleeping with the Octopus In order to stud study the habits I of the Monster and know just how to deliver the Death Blow He investigates the Large Industries of the State the amount of Stock Is Issued sued sted the time Ume for p paying ing Dividends the amount of th how to co collect wIthout having any Check go through the Bank Al Ahl Althis this comes under the head of Corn Com Committee Work One mornIng while he Is lying bing In bed on the affairs of State he suddenly puts r his bond hond to his Read head and shudders for he realizes that he cannot strike a B Blow ow at an any large Busi Business Business ness Con Concern ern without injuring thou thousands thousands sands of innocent Ho He de decides decides that the wise course is to regu regulate regulate late Corporations wIthout causing them any inconvenience When it comes time timeto to elect lect a Sena Senator Senator tor he is Adamant in his demand that the Caucus Nominee shall be a Man with a deVotion to the int interests of th the Pl Plain He to back into linn line until itIs den to bUn that a aNice aNice Nice Fellow worth ll be a Patriot j just st the same as it if he were living hirIng at the Poor House Then he hearkens to the Voice of Re Reason son When lIe gets home an the Papers n the Tin rin Box he makes the Discovery th that t in instead stead of f res he noW H a aswell swell t the Una of the ne new Al Alo lie he Is inter r Bank QU gaii to help out the Farmers wh roILY need a little to carry thin through th the Sumner He finds time to rend read upon Existing conditions In and as s a result of much Serious Thought becomes rather Conservative in his Views VIes 1 lets out an yelp elp on the sub subject jeet S Some dC liis 1115 active begin to wonder out loud how lie be happened to todo todo do so such a hurry mOst of his N dont even Peep It pay td get fresh with anyone any one who owns a whole Half Se Section tion Be Besides sides he has printed Copies of 0 all ll his to prove that he always stood up for his That Is how the Hon R Robin Hood of our own BI Sipoo it from the haughty Rich and plants it where it will do the most good And do the on the cut cutting cutting ting of the Melon n Sure the they do H He gIves ever every one of them a good Ci r the day before Election The Robin Hood pulled down only a Bare Living and was as never more than three jumps ahead of an armed Po Posse se Article has his pIe plc ture on the front page of the CountY owns a Prize Bull and when he leans back in inthe the pew 61 h Sunday morning and lets out the opening Uno of that grand old Hymn about b whiter than Snow the Pipe Or Organ n falls bade back smothered and put out of busi reES r |