Show Insiders tell tales of woe and brain damage L Ron Guest Columnist Columnist- FORGE Bush visited vi Ronald Reagan a few GEORGE weeks ago Insiders in the Republican Campaign Campaign Campaign Cam Cam- to Re-Elect Re the President Son President Son of CREEP tell CREEP tell telltales tales of woe and apparent brain damage George and Barbara were surprised upon their arrival to see the Reagan Mansion carelessly wrapped in brown paper to prevent any uninvited photo-ops photo from the snoops from the press The paper brown-paper wrapping r reminded minded those on hand of ofa a wino who covers his cherished bottle of Key Largo with plain brown packaging to to avoid the embarrassment embar embar- embarrassment embarrassment of his cheap habit habit in in the hopes that somebody will think that hes he's really drinking Dom j the role of Bush played I In this instance George cheap wine brown wrapper at the Once inside the plain dowse sight of Reagan Bush is said to have b broken down falling into paroxysms of weeping In a scene straight out of the Old Testament Bush began to gnash his teeth and pull his hair and beg Reagans Reagan's support in the coming election Bush complained that the lithe Right was deserting him like Kuwait's rulers before onslaught and that they were champion of the cause of that vicious Semitic anti-Semitic Mick Patrick Mick Patrick Buchanan George didn't know how to handle it Ronnie is said to have glanced up from counting the one-million one dollars in cash that he keeps in one-hundred one neat piles of S each given to him and Nancy by the Japanese Japanese his his only activity from the hours of 9 to 5 S except for random naps naps naps- and told George to sic Atwater after him like he did Dukakis in 1988 Do 00 that Willie Horton thing again that was great Ronnie is said to have mumbled But George between sobs told him that hat Atwater had gone to play with that great blues band in the sky and so Ronnie mentioned that Sambo Samba guy M 5 meaning of course and George was forced to tell Reagan that he had dumped the vicious press-baiting press Governor ex-Governor of New Hampshire and hatchet man because of his outlandish talk and fetish for free limousines and tax-paid tax vacations taken on government military aircraft 2 In a scene right out of a SOs sitcom Reagan is then said to have stood up and wandered over to a piano to play playa a hauntingly familiar song When Nancy joined in and made mad it a dingbat duo George knew that the former President was going to be of x J. no assistance We are told however that he is considering considering considering con- con the theme from All in the Family as his M campaign standard and that he has been seen wandering around the White House at night looking looking looking look- look r V ing at the picture of Richard Nixon while singing V need no welfare state Everybody pulled his weight Gee our old La Salle ran great Those were the days The foregoing was reprinted with thanks to Private Eye March 4 1992 and Ronald attorney attorney at- at torney at law 7 iy J-A. J 4 7 c if YU s 's r i Wc c rw d rt-i rt 1 t c I J ill ills ill's |