| Show Student Recalls Death Death- Jennifer Smith Contributor AS the polished oak wood casket casket casket cas cas- cas- cas ket was being lowered into the cold ground I couldn't help but think it was my fault he was d dead ad Tom my stepfather had committed committed committed com com- suicide He stuffed blankets in the openings of oJ the garage turned on his Ford truck and suffocated suffocated suffocated himself with carbon dioxide As a tape of Willie Nelson played on in the tape deck Toms Tom's life slowly but surely turned off My sisters and I gave that tape to Tom for Fathers Father's Day Suicide is the sixth highest form of death in adults according to Judy Thomas Western Youth counselor But in our family it was No 1 I. In a book by Ronald W. W Mans Maris titled Pathways to Suicide it states Suicide completers tend to make one fatal suicide attempt The positive positive positive tive association between age and suicide rate is strongest in white males Tom was not a man likely to commit suicide when my mother married him He was a good- good hearted man He loved life nature himself and especially my sisters and me But when alcoholism hits people change Tom lost his job suddenly and become depressed He was moody always on edge and always had a beer in his hand Between 7 percent to 20 percent percent percent per per- cent of all alcoholics eventually commit suicide Maris Mans wrote Suicide completers are likely to be unemployed just prior to their deaths A study by Brian R. R Ward author of Alcohol Abuse concluded d People who are dependent upon alcohol al alcohol cohol often suffer term long-term health hazards Some reach the stages of brain damage and few alc alcoholics holics even have hallucinations Tom was one of the few to act actually actually ac ac- t ally hallucinate I was 13 y years old a harmless young girl but alcohol convinced Tom I was a witch According According According Ac Ac- cording to my mom Tom thought I could turn off and on lights with my eyes He thought a year old was make him go crazy It got to the point that I wasn't allowed to eat inside I was grounded for what seemed to be the rest of my life for things I never did Finally To Tom threatened to kill me Statistics in Maris Mans book point out People who commit suicide tend to tobe tobe be in disarray to the point of collapse Without planning without money without a house with nothing we made Tade an overnight move My mom three sisters and I I packed everything we could and nd left Tom It was the only thing we could do The alcohol had won and it was time for out retreat I had been accused ac- ac accused accused ac- ac of being a witch been made to eat out with our dogs been terrified terrified terrified ter ter- ter- ter that my m head was going to tobe t be blown off now during the most emotional time of my life I was was being uprooted from the on only y friends I l knew Author Ernest Hemingway said A man can be destroyed but n not defeated The worst death for anyone is to lose the center of his being th the thing he really is is Sf I suppose our family family- was the center of Toms Tom's being But the al alcohol al- al alcohol l f cohol drove us away and that was than him worse t an dying to r 1 4 1 |
