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Show SALT FLAT NEWS. APRIL 1971 3 JETDIAY?' pit he WHERETO MV?J VlAfiS BEEN OH WHERE TES77jfcSWCE MFrroRYMIHj W:: muxATm S&L-.TflEI- V J) 1&iay??, R, SRcesMijsI THeanrrrvR jvlak orbits liffiSL L HH& m It is a common assumption that facts need be significant or even relevant to the subject being discussed. Usually this is indeed the case; however, when applied to engineers, this assumption does not hold water. Under the guise of analytic dissection, engineers are very successful in avoiding the essence of what they are employed for; i.e., to discover the facts needed to solve a specific problem. Ambiguity, it seems, poses a strange attraction in the engineers rational quest for deductive reasonging. The State of Utah, like the engineer, has adapted this intriguing procedure of logic in publicly promoting the space shuttle to Utahns. Evidently, few Utahns, know they are sitting on a big golden egg and are capable of realizing the economic content of their precarious position, and that the inevitable art of hatching might upset the comfortable status of being equal with California or Florida in the latest race for space. Unfortunately, even the mere mention of the color gold tends to confuse the issue. But what of the issue? Is the spaceport really as one gentleman put it the biggest economic stride the state has had since the wedding of the rails? Shall we say, bluntly, yes. For the spaceport is the end of a large technological funnel where a point on a map determines mans destiny to the stars. A UTILE SAIT UKUITEN: Where have all the woolies gone; long time Since the U.S. Army started nerve pas-ss-in- g. gass-ss-in- g. Bated of 68 While it is not ordinarily the business of the News to exhume dead issues not, at least, as long as there are new, fast-breaki- . items to be overlooked nonetheless, in the wake of 1200 sheep dead two months, there occurs a pertinent afterthought. As of this writing, the official explanation and epitath is one wqrd: halogeten. Defined as a noxious plant abundant in the west Utah desert, halogeten has been blamed by democrats and republicans alike for sending a large number of this apparently endangered domestic species to an untimely death. The evidence, however, points to still another condu-- ' sion, so far overlooked. It may ON HER TAIL, A1AYBE accidlenrS: be that sheep, being creatures of better than average mortality, as any seasoned shepherd can tell you, are being used as the of the ecosystem. Easy prey to any foul breeze that blows, sheep represent our most advanced and reliable indicator of bad air, the prarie counterpart of the coal trouble-shooter- s mine canary. Bearing in mind the sheeps for respiratory disease, its posable that the CIA has stationed herds around various remote testing facilities in order to detect those security leaks that happen from time to time. The notorious Dugway disaster of 68 was such a leak, and were it not for the sheep, the accident would probably have passed unnoticed. Similarly, sheep are found patrolling the periphery of Nevadas Atomic Energy Commission testing ate. predilection top-secr- of plot? At the Pentagon, this lonely and thankless detail is known as The Early Warning Gas and Fallout Defense Perimeter of, colloquially, as the eweline. The second point to ponder is that the culprit weed halogeten is not a native of North America, but is believed to have migrated to this country from Siberia. In other words, halogeten is a Russian weed! A Russian weed, no doubt transplanted to Utah with a angle purpose in mind, to jam our early warning system. The governor and the news media may attempt to pass it off as a natural calamity, but dont let anyone pull the wool over your eyes: halogeten is a Commie plot! Wendover lies at the end of such a funnel, according to a Department of Defense report issued in 1958. The report, titled ADEQUACY OF RANGE FACILITIES, was an study of all existing missile and national defense ranges over which the United States has jurisdiction over. The report (four volumes) is classified, and there is only one copy is existence, gathering the dust of the day in the Pentagon. The report states flatly that Wendover and the Great Salt Lake Desert has the only satisfactory criteria for North-Sout- h polar orbit launches and recoveries of space vehicles. Vague mention is still made to this technical point by aerospace engineers relaxing on fourteen foot boats off Cocoa Beach, Florida, waiting to modify the space shuttle to fly around Cuba, rather than acknowledge this scintilla of truth, that Wendover is superior to Cape Kennedy in launching and recovering polar orbiting space craft. A point worth of contemplating is that the space shuttle mission is a little different for the military than NASA proposes. J.P. Healot, a vice president for North American Rockwell, compared the differences in shuttle mission criteria to that of a marriage. It takes two to or better phrased for space tango when it comes to marriages must be considered. Wendover shuttles everything else but the pea is the pea when it comes to polar orbiting space shuttles. in-dep- th i. Letters to LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Yesterday when my issue (January) arrived in the mail, the mail man, Dick Ramsey, was so attracted to the front cover photo that he knocked on the door end asked if he could have the newspaper after I had finished reading it. I told him no end explained that collecting extraordinary newspapers was a new hobby of mine and that the Salt Flat News was one of the gems. I did promise to order him a copy. ln a January' editorial we reported that 4,000 sheep died at Dugway. The actual figure, we are corrected, is 6,400. Our official sheep counter, after counting 4J000 apparently fell asleep. Yours truly; ' In Ely, Nevada, the cold war between war hawks and doves rages in the streets Above, parked truly birds of different is the hawk in olive drab, and the red, white, and blue dove eyeball-to-eyeba-ll Two. I was the grubby two striper from the Air Force Weapons Lab in Albq. N.M. that was responsible for all the electronics and firing circuits on that event. In short, Im the guy that did it when it came time to push the button. I can assure you that the sound of the explosion was heard by enough jackrabbits to thicken up a victory stew in our bivouac that evening. I attempted to con the project photographer into giving me a color print of the cloud, but he kept my money and the print. I have a very spectacular color print of the fire ball, but the only one of the cloud is the one you so handily printed in your auspicious rag. . Audrey J. Doty 2133 Athene Dr. Concord, California 94520 - fe editor LETTER TO THE EDITOR: My father on one of his frequent trips through. Wendover picked up a copy of your paper from a section of fence, where it had been abandoned by a capricious 1 wind. Having finished using it for some salient purpose, he returned it in a biodegradable state to the local environment and hurried off to Salt Lake, whereupon he was able to purchase a large enough rolling stockpile to suit his needs. You can imagine my surprise when upon opening the FebMarch issue to page four I instantly recognised the mushroom cloud from project Big Poppa Phase - I was deeply moved by the grandeur and magnitude of the country in the area and even though I was born and lived for (c on t. on page 11) |