Show a VM FA calbout summer influenza ANTA MONICA CALIF SANTA S in this f favored land we are now starting to celebrate the customary seasonal rite of having our summer influenza summer influenza Is distinguished from winter influenza by the fact that the former does not set in until september th thereby cereby providing intervals tor for spring and tall fall to slip SEP in between ube the symptoms remain practically the same the eyes water copiously but the nose runs second the head hea stops up thoroughly thorough y ius thus providing proof of 0 irvin cobb the fallacy of the old adage all sinus fall fail in dry weather the patient barks like a trained seal but the difference here is that the seal stops barking if you toss him a hunk of raw fish one could go on at length but its difficult to continue a writing job when hen youre using a nasal to punctuate with and have a taste in your mouth like moth balls smothered in creosote dressing 0 0 0 the art of cussing bussing Cus sing Y OLD chum burgess johnson M MY once an editor but now a college professor tells a credulous bunch of advertising men that mark twain was the champion all time all american cusser could cuss live five solid minutes without repeat repeating inC himself pardon me burgess but mark twain never did any such thing once I 1 heard him at his out ci aissin est best denouncing a pub publisher 11 is h er who had offended him he swore for five minutes all right but over and over again he used the same few familiar oaths which the eng lish speaking race always have used he introduce a new or an ori original inal one I 1 st studied died the art of cussing bussing cus sing both by note and by ear und under er such gifted masters ol of profanity as southern steamboat mates new york newspaper men london cab drivers western mule whackers whickers wh ackers and north woods timber choppers with my hand haid on oa my baor hearl I 1 solemnly affirm that not 0 one ne ot of these alleged experts ever employed any save the dependable ale age seasoned standbys stand bys to wit seven adjectives two strong nouns one ultra strong noun and one compound phrase the commonest of all romance for king zog OR about the fifth time comes a FOR plaintive plea from albania one of those remote little border countries of eastern europe where every now and then peace threatens to break out they have a king 0 ver over there at least they had a king at the time of going to press with this dispatch his name is king zog this is neither a typographical error nor a vaudeville gag the name positively is zog and radio comedians may make the most of it for many months he has been paging the world for a wife the qualifications qualifications call for the lady to have his majesty majest y would also like for her to turn mohammedan but the main requirement Is that bank roll Cali fornias coastline HILE its quite a roomy coastline WHILE aline california has at present only one coastline this is a source of mortification to patriotic native sons florida having two such one on ion either side besides a dampish campis b area in the middle known as the everglades still in a way Cali fornias silvery strand continues to excel within easy speeding distance we have at least one beach resort where when palm springs folds up on account of the heat many of our artistic colony go to relax so whole wholeheartedly do some go in for this that often you may stand off a quarter of a mile and hear them relaxing occasionally a relaxation relaxes so completely that it takes weeks tor for him to get over it his friends leave him a at t the seaside only to gather at the bedside the C changing gi g world WAS susan B anthony who IT dedicated her life to the cause of emancipation tor for her sex but it was her grandniece who lately attained the headlines by suggesting that with the addition of a buckle here and a ribbon there a nightie would make a suitable evening gown tor for almost any occasion on thus do we see how from one generation on to another is handed down the flame of genius and service to womankind but although the inspired su suggestion ages is already weeks old there still are no signs that it is finding advocates v among the queen bees of the cultural hive maybe the reason is that a belle of the hollywood artistic group would feel so ostentatiously overdressed over dressed it if she wore a full fashioned nightie to a social Cun unction clion IRVINS IRVIN S 0 service 0 |