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Show 1 1 I November, 1977 The Rocky Mountain Open Door, sexuality for their sons.but the g favorite slogan is thatwe must save our children from this evil influence! Few issues are as emotionally charged as when a community is forced to consider the prospects of a homosexual school teacher, senator Hatch epitomizes this unfounded phobia claiming '1 wouldnt want to see homosexuals teaching school any more than I'd want to see members of the American Nazi Party teaching school (Salt Lake Tribune, 6277). Senator Hatch would be shocked to learn how many of his teachers through the years probably were homosexual. And did they turn Senator Hatch into a Payne Cont, rabble-rousin- This is IMPOSSIBLE.being homosexual or h eterosexual is far too complex-s- o basic to the fundamental nature of the personality that it is ludicrous to assert that a young man can be proselytized into homo sexuality by another homosex ual. 1 would not wish this experience on anyone (with the possible exception of a few people like Anita for a brief period so they would catch a glimpse of what being homo sexual really involves) and Im sure most homosexuals feel the same way. Recall the study of the men who were queried about the prospects of homo- - homosexual? The fact that unaware of their sexuality only further substantiates the fact that for most homosexuals their sexuality is a private matter and they prefer to keep it that way, never infringing on the sexuality of others in any way nor flaunting it in the he-wa- If we are. to place any credibility in the causal theories s . classroom. Senator Hatchs benighted and nasty hyperbole fails to consider that most theories of causes pointing to some influence from another person place the responsibility at the door of the heterosexT uals, not some meddling ho- mosexual. According to these theories, Senator Hatch is much more capable of turning his son into a homosexual than any homosexual school teacher Fine Mens Sport Shirts . ofdrs.bieber, Hatterer, and Socarides, we should be part-- . icularly concerned about Anita Bryants sons. According to these theories, she fits perfectly the profile of the mother who produces homosexual children. I asked one of my homosexual friends how he would like to be Anitas son. What do you meanl Anita and my mother are like two peas out of the same pod.! Anxious and responsible par ents are easily persuaded by the apparent logic in the claim that a homosexual school teacher, acting as a model, can turn heterosexual pupils into homosexuals.' I have no doubt but what proponents of this ' notion have good intentions. Unfortunately, they are very badly informed.. I have never known or read of a homosexual who said his homosexuality was caused by this means. Every responsible causal theory (as is bom out by many homosexuals who can remember back far enough) place the origins of homosexuality prior to the kindergarten year. The idea that a heterosexual teach-er- , acting as an adequate role model, being capable of reversing a homosexual orientation is analogous to the curative value of getting the homosexual to 'get involved with some girl. In fact, many homosexuals try this very modeling device in their futile self-hel-p attempts to change. It is possible that models, and the concomitant identifications do play an important part in sexual orientation but it appears that this factor works its influence prior to the fourth or fifth year and 'more likely within the first 18 to 36 months. Alliances with adults from then on are ly confirming experiences and have only minimal poser to affect the basic identity of thechild. In retrospect, I can recall many perceptions and fantasies from my first and second grade years that although not exactly erotic, were definitely homosexual in nature. Most homosexuals make the same observation as do manyh first and second grade teachers of their pupils. This is not necessarily because of some feminine behavior but through considerable insight into the child's total personality, perception and relationships.. It is not altogether uncommon for the 6, 7, or 8 year old child to be thrust into conflict with his already firmly established sexuality by well meaning adults. One of my friends was taken at age 7 to a psychiatrist to get straightened out.' Can you imagine his bewilderment with that experience? For the 'last twenty years he has been coaxed and coerced, subtly and blatantly to do manly things' in hopes it would alter his sexuality. He was strongly encouraged by his parents to emulate and admire one of their close friends a man of outstanding character and ability. Years later, when it was no longer possible for his parents to deny the obvious, it was also discovered, much to their surprise, that their good friend was homosexual; They, im: mediately blamed their friend,. role-playin- g, . Slacks, Ties, Belts 532-329- 8 D - .1 'V, i - , . ! J I bj M. , ns w i s. , What You Should NOT Say To Your Lover ! Belitting comments even if they are said in jest can seriously damage a relationship, according to two. top psychologists. The general rule to follow is to be honest but not hurtful, said Dr. Frank Hovell, professor of psychology at San Francisco State Univer, sity. ' to Married couples, according Dr. Hovell, should avoid making comments such as, If Ive told you once, Ive told you a thousand times; or I TOLD YOU SO: You re Youre wrong, or Crazy. Dr. Hovell said that Ex pressions like these generate feelings of discomfort. Take If Ive told you once.... for example. It impies that a person is pretty stupid or he or she wouldve learned a lot sooner. In the case of I Told you so, youre implying the other person is some kind of imbecile. What you want to do is to try to avoid any kind of a putdown. Any reference to your partners adequacy any derogative reference, that is chips away at his or her ft ego. Dr.- Hovell said some other comments you should avoid making to your partner include, If youd If only done what I told you to do; My youd only have tried; but good, alway....;It's Mom cooked it better. Dr. Hovell continued, and pointing out anything thats a sore point a physical defect, accent, peculiarity, place of origin, family is bad. Equally damaging to a partnership is saying hurtful things in jest, according to Dr. Hovell. He said comments like I didnt know what happiness was until I met (lovers name), then it was too late! maybe funny but theyre painfully humilia. - ex-lov- er . ting. Dr. Loyce Hagens, professor of psychology at Texas A&I University in Corpus Christi agrees with Dr. Hovell. Many times people use humor to speak the truth, but couch it as if it were a joke, said Dr. Hagens. That can work if its an acceptable thing between the two people involved. But if its done in a way that humiliates, it can be bitter and ugly. Dr. Hagens said the old, If it werent for you... is another comment partnerships can do without. One of the basic underlying themes I run into is a person projecting his or her shortcomings Dr. onto his or her partner. Hagens said. Theyll say, If it werent for you, Id be. an opera singer, and so on. This happens because its hard to be honest with yourself about your faults and your spouse is ther and available. "r for their sons homosexuality though nothing of any homosexual character had occurred between them nor had the subject ever been mentioned. Their search for a cause was as spurious as their search for a cure.. But the proponents of are not the teachcr-as-modeasily dissuaded. They must have their culprit, right or wong, and these same people el Cont.; Page 10 I : t i 3 |