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Show a 22 Jims name was in the local papers a couple of days ago. Friday there was a short notice of a Salt Lake man who died of selMnflicted gun-shwound, and the next day the obituary column carried the vital statistics. There was the usual comment that Jim was 42 years old and is survived Note was made by his wife Lorene and two children, Bill and Susan. of such member that Jim had been on a mission to the Southern States, and such ward, a masters degree from the University of Utah, and named the business where Jim worked. The usual typical last words but along with what was printed there were a lot of pertinent facts which were not printed. It is to these unprinted facts that we direct our attention. Jim brought his problems to the Help Line a few months ago when he poured out what has become an all too familiar story: tendencies toward being gay, but because of pressure from family and church he had sublimated these impulses completely . Jim had mentioned his gay tendencies and fantasies to his Bishop long ago when he had returned from his mission, but Jim had been counseled that a Temple marriage would remove all these bad thoughts he had been having. Jim said he was not really and truly in love with Lorene, but she was a good woman, intelligent, kept the house clean, tended the children and did everything the usual good wife is supposed to do. Jim said his only gay experience had been very brief and only three or four of those, over his 42 years of life. Jim and Lorene had chosen a counselor whom they visited at regular intervals. Both thought this counseling was serving to better understand themselves and to resolve their lives. Jim said the real crisis came when he and Lorene quit h aving sex. One day Jim blurted out to the counselor he was gay but she said that was OK, just repent and everything will work out just fine. There was no attempt to try to understand the problem; the entire blame was put on Jim for choosing to be gay, since the counselor was sure Jim Was just being difficult and deliberately being sinful Jim got the same logic and lack of compassion from Lorene after he told her of his problem. Confronted with these accusations, Jim gradually saw himself as a failure and his image of himself grew lower and lower. His everyday work was full of tension and everything seemed to pile up and only compound his problems. Jim spoke of suicide several times in recent years but had not found the 'right time to carry out this final act. The coroner said it was suicide. There was no foul play. No one will argue with the obvious facts but we wonder for a moment what it was that discouraged Jim to the point to take his own life. Does not the counselor or Jims wife feel they might have contributed to Jims suicide? Does not the Bishop of Jims church feel remorse? If there is someone to blame, just who is to blame? Is the world better now that Jim ot WE CARRY GAY BOOKS FOR MEN AND WOMEN . IBook Ooesssnasny Owl WaEdrag 260 1 EAST 4TH SOUTH SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH 84102- (801 ) - 582-732- 3 8 isdead? - And so it came without warning; that day when Jim found the house empty when he went downstairs into the utility room, put the end of the pistol in his mouth and slowly pulled the trigger and blew off the top of his beautiful head, splattering his brains against the wall, the ceiling and the washing machine. We in the gay community can dismiss the abov e facts with a simple solution that Jim should have been, or had learned to be a 'closet gay. Jim couldnt do that apparently, for he wished to be honest, open and truthful. Some people are like that. Jim didnt want to be a hypocrite and so he took what to him was the only way out; Jim didnt ask to be a homosexual but something in his formative years made him that way. Jim often asked why and how this happens. there is no cut and dried answer. But for the responsibility for being gay, to be put in Jims lap and to say assuredly that only Jim was to blame; this was untrue, unkind and lacked complete or even partial understanding and total lack of compassion. Jim could not cope with this shame and humiliation. So Jim shot himself. How many more men and women will end their lives for the same reason Jim did? Why is it necessary to ridicule and malign anyone who might approach life differently than another? Is there not room for all if it makes that person happy and content? Is not happiness more important than anxiety and suicide? When will society have enough blood on their haifds to minimize the importance of conformity? Jim is dead. Who will be next? The above story is t rue. The names have been changed to protect the dead. life-styl- es The Rocky Mountain Open Door Postal Address: P.O. Box 8666, Salt Lake City, Utah l. Editorials,a" uwi C.A. Morrison, Ray Henke Advertising Sales: Ken Kline Graphics: Rainbow Design Group C.A. Morrison, Director Illustrations: Joe Kim, William Erekson Writers: Clarence W. Young, Ray envelopes. Articles taken from the Henke, R.J. Dover, Mike Reid, Russell media will be acknowledged, insofar as Curtis, Elizabeth, Cliff Martin, as well it Is possible to discern and reasonable in gs crjtyjtor from members- - of the space allotment; The OPEN DOOR is community. distributed articles submitted will be considered for publication, dependent upon space and content. The editors may edit the content to maintain an air of decorum J nd dignity as befits the gay community, and will be flattering to our advertisers. 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