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Show V , J THE PROTO POST i KAISER WILHELM GRACIOUSLY THANKS HIS SATANIC MAJESTY A Prominent credit man recently said that he con siders A Merchant who still clings to Horse and Wagon Delivery a Bad Risk. . The letter Witten by Hip Satanic Majesty to Kaiser Wilhelm has been given wide circulation throughout the country and it was publish d in ' The Post of Tuesday. The Post today is enabled to publish for the first time,-threply of the German kaiser to Lucifer. His reply follows: Royal Palace, Berlin. Dear Lucifer: Your kindly letter received andHs contents noted. Indeed, my dear Satan, you flatter me, but I tannot help but feel that all your praise is not My ' misplaced. I will tell you frankly, I was a httle incensed when you compared me with Nero. To my mind Nero was a piker. But on second thought 1 realize that he did not possess the many advantages I do for carrying on his devHe had no gun$ that ilish work. would shoot for 20 miles; he hud no pas bombs or flame throwers; he had never had the opportunity to drop bombs on school houses and kill little children; he could not send his aviators Over towns and drop poisoned tandy for children to eat; he did not have submarines by which he could dink passenger ships and kill hundreds of women and babies. Takinto consideration, I ing all this think Nero did pretty well, considering the disadvantages under which If I had lived in those he worked. days I do not know as I could have improved on his methods of raising hell, although some of it looks crude to us now with our refined cruelties Nero simply murdered his mother in cold blood; I made mine suffer all the agony of a broken heart be- fore death relieved her sufferings. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your gifts to men. My abnormal ambition has made me the most hated man in the world. It has sent my soldiers through peaceful villages, bent on murder, rapine and arson. It has made, a million widows, and has made a million mothers childesa. It has produced an army of a million men maimed, without arms, without legs and Without sight. 1' has bereft some of their reasod and they will go through., life with their minds a blank. It has robbed thousands of women of their virtue and has brought thousands more into my realms aa slaves My name Is coupled with 'curses in every clime. Intil now I have always cursed Bright Eyes Indicate buoyant' health. When the eyes are dull, liver and bow els need regulating. Quickly restore healthy conditions with a dose or two in time of BEECHAMS PILLS U ml A.y Urft faU everywhere, b C,, Wort hi bohaa 10a., 2 Sc Hoover Says: thf Yate which left uie with a with red arm, but now ! discern your in scruitable wisdom Without .tint have had human instinct might which would interter with my unit tions. and might have made me .lam a semblance of pity as saw the it 1 suits of my fiendish work. With-- , twist in my moral makeup might have told r.r generals to tr, the Belgians with consideration ant kindness. I might have told Tirpit . to prder his submarine commanders not Jo sink ships without giving warning and to give the pSssengtrs a chance to save themselves. Indeed, my dear' Mephisto, I share with you a hatred for all things English. It was England that stopped my victorious soldiers at the Marne and prevented me from conquering the world and making all nations my vassals. It was England that tried to' Interfere with my plans by proposing mediation when I had all mv Eng-anplans Ret for a world conquest has taught savage people Chris tianity and the love of their fellow men, while I have endeavored to in fill hatred into their hearts and to make them fiends In human form Mv hatred fry England Is only p reeded by my" hatred for America Had it not been for that country all Europe would have been helpless at my feet long ago Shells nude with American money killed my soldiers and for this I can never forgive America. So the secret is out. You hint that I had a hand in the Saravejo assassination. I flattered myself that I had this covered up and no one would suspect that I had any hand in it. Well, it is all right, I suppose. You Inspired it in me, and have a right to share In the secret. You 'will have to admit that it was clever in me to be on my yacht at the time of the assassination. It was a pretty clever alibi. Your words of praise over my submarine warfare please me. I flatter myself that you could do no 'better My trusted officers described to me the death struggles of the women and babies aa a submarine sent them to eternity. It pleased me much and my only regret was that I could not have been present to witness it in person. You will have to admit that my work in Belgium, northern France, Poland, Serbia and Roumania has been well done, Belgium was a peaceful country filled with happy kand innocent people, until I decided 'to tske a short cut through it to strike at France. I am rather glad that i resisted, as it gave my soldiers an opportunity to carry out my InI structions. Had it not resisted to forced Invent woultL, have been some excuse for the practice of atrocities. The civilian population of Poland made no resistance, yet you see what I have doie. My soldiers need no reason, they merely ask for an excuse, and- - if there is none, it - j,s easy to trump up some charge. My agents sowed the seeds of discord and treason among the Russians and thousands of those brave people that Lucifer, you make me laugh at times. express surprise at my posing, as a personal friend of God and telling toy people that God will help them to victory. .Cannot, you aee my plans? My friendship with God Is simply to delude the poor, simple fools who are dying that my ambition may succeed, I have to hand them this bunk once in a while to keep their breasts bared to the eftemy. Without It they would quit fighting. I tried the same' bunk on the neutral nations, but they were too clever to believe with him And to we are going to otter a sug- gestion on how to follow his .advice. - We. carry the. best of everything in groceries,; at prices that arewer $au' If you most grocers offer. will trade here your dollar If you will have more cent would really save mdney on Th6 profit and loss account of America is being written by machinery. Methods that made men rich yesterday will make them poor today. The nosebag has no place in a progressive community. With corn at one dollar a bushel and gasoline at twenty odd cents a gallon the most extravagant truck is a money saver. But the groceries .it is your duty to PAIN, NEURALGIA i to yourself investigate - v . , . Get a dime pack, of Dr. James Headache Powden. , will give us your business. 1 -- for prices. - Call . 117: ' . Wilford Perry 338 West Center - You can clear your heatf and" relieve ' a dull, splitting or violent throbbing headache in a moment with a Dr. James Headache Powder,- - Jhis old- time headache relief acta' almoat magi- tally. Send some one .to the drug store' now for a dime.pscksge and a f OF mo- meats after, you take. a powder ffdu'j fill; wonder what became of the. aChe i - Al j . r f. is the thriftiest truck ever built. A penny counter, a general expense reducer. I The greatest single force for better business that the past year has witnessed. At this moment when conservation of energy, time and dollars is so vital to national welfare, when merchants are making so many unexpected outlays the Maxwell is fighting for economical administration, laboring day and night at a minimum wage and furnishing competent and reliable transportation at the lowest load cost at which goods have been carried in our time. ' Maxwell maintenance and repair bills are the lowest of record. It furnishes American Commerce, never so sadly in need of labor, a truck which even a boy can operate and understand. Just the right size for the average firm. 2400 pounds. But muscled for giant burdens. Worm drive a feature hitherto associated with the highest priced trucks. Sold under the same guarantee as $5000 trucks are. Electric lights and loading space. 16 miles to the gallon. The lowest priced generator. one-to- n in world and sold on liberal terms. $985 : and it will earn the truck its cost out of the savings it effects. Pays its way from day to day. j I I 10-fo- ot BLACK MOTORS COMPANY Provo, Utah BUD: BLACK, Manager Phone 221 pas al your previous efforts. And, I confiam saying this in strictest I LISTEN TO THIS! dence, I feel that I am soon to Join you. I fear that I hare overstepped SAYS CORNS' LIFT-RIGH- T my ambitions and I can see ruin. A There is no more approprivictory by my enemies will mean my OUT NOW . ate gjfj than a photograph. No end, as my life will be forfeit Well, matter what the occasion may I do not regret It It will put me In You reckless men and women who hell all the sooner, where I will bej ra peatared with corns and who have photograph conveys an M least oncd a week invited with kindred spirits. There Is too dwlJ, from lockjlw or j expression., of sentiment .that much love and charity on earth ,to are how told by a Cincinnati authority can be realized in no other to use a drug called freexone, which suit me, and when I Join you I will the moment a few drops are applied way. There is something be in my element Ill bring the boys, to any corn, the soreness is relieved sonal about soon and the 1 am can find entire as sure root that eorn, and all, you too, use for them. They are fine devils.; Bits. out with the Anger. something b?g, something real I is a sticky ether compound wL ah -see will to me you NapoLucifer, bye, good Well, have compared Some dries the' moment it is applied and and genuine. simply shrivels Urn corn without Inflam ffeonl That makes me incensed. Na- j later. ' r This is especially so now, Wilhelm. iTiutiTB, the surround- poleon never battered down historic mg tissue or skin. It ie claimed that Nawhen thousands of young men pathedrals. the work of centuries. 'ra quarter-o- aa ounoa of freexone will are leaving their homes for er7 7 poleon never ordered his men to Catarrhal Deafness Cannot Be Cured P0 tSfog stores, but la sufficient to rid ones feet of e war on women and children, application.. .. they cannot return serviee t abroad. A photograph very hard or soft corn or callus. the llwtwli portion of th. ear. There Ilia. u or a never trail left You are further warned that cutting Napoleon OBly OB, deafneu. will bridge the gap as nothat 1. by a constitutional rrmady his armies at a core Is a suicidal habit giumaie children where catarrhal Deafnea. 1. cued by an ( else 'can. thing flamed condition of th. mucou. lining of Passed Napoleon tried to spread .civv . .. r th. Bnatachlan Tub. .When tbl. tuba la 4 For a Weak 8tomach HZ&tiOIt I conquered countries wniie Inflamed you bvt rumbling sound frr Make your appointment today. I hearing, and When U J. entirely .mMtlnnl nlrfrctDeftfneaa As a general rule all you need to I hBVe spfeftd ktlltur. His la' the result. inltM the C04f be can reduced and tble tube Inflammation Td8 to rule CAlfOpe, mfiiA IB to rule rratordd to It. normal condition, hearing do is to adopt a diet suited, to your .. . , r wiH h. destroyed forever. Many cne. of . . worm. the dearaea. ara caused by catarrh, which ir age and occupation and to keep You talk of abdicating In my fa .n Inflamed condition of the mucoua aur-- . y . faces. Halla Catar. n Cara acta thru the your bowels regular. When you feel surfaces ef tbs sysTor. Dont do It Let US bflVe a dual blood on tha mucous tem. i ' t Wa will glva One Hundred To:tari' for that you have eaten too much and throne. With your experiences cou- case of Catarrhal peafneaa that cannot any be we should when constipated, take one of Chamwith' ha cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. Circulars Columbia Theatre Building hell that would ur- -' Tablets. advCberlains fble to make o. ca Tot.do - . .. i ' The Best Gift w",, I - ) J Cur.-mrrh- -- - j- - Larson & Nygreen Studio , e my-natur- -- . "At: n- 'if 4. TnelePmeyfc!ried u. . i4 in-- We want you to phone us. y ' a 1 - I Dont suffer I Y'f ,1 f this done we aye sure you - I many is invincible and anything that I do is not wrong. I have disguised it under the name of kultur. My alliance with the Turks was a clever move on ay part as it gave me an excellent opportunity to pass the buck. Wheu they commenced slaughtering the Christians no one connectif. ed my n0m with it, as the Turk? I have taught my people this cted Christians for censince I came t6 the throne. The chil- h4gd slaughtered turies. dren 'are taught to hate all things You need not fear that your work Gernot German. They are taught that will be slighted.' I have six sons who are as capable of ordering cruelties as myself. Sometimes I believe the oldest boy has a' little more subtle cruelty in his nature than I have. b t- y perished through treachery. You i i - . h V , x. |