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Show ROVO EVENING HERALD, TUESDAY, JULY 3, 1928. PAGE TWO -THE- OLD LIL GOES1; -'HERALp-; Published by the Herald Corporation, E. C. Rodgers, president, at . matter Entered at aecond-claa- a So, 1st W. St., Frovo, Utah,-,dalyat the postofflce in Provo, Utah. Member of the United Press uw (ilatloa,- NBA Service, Palae Editoriaj Service, and the James G. " " Scrlpps Newspaper. OUT OURWAY- t- 41 : - By-Willia- ms 3, - - ...... ...w r 9 i COST PER MILE Editorial Telephones Business office, 95; Society reporter,. 107; before 6 receive do not 1208. paper telephone your p.m. If you room, 95 and a cony wtn be delivered to your residences When human needs forgot The ties of blood, and dared ' To slay the blight which fought Our country's soul. , . (Hill Billy's views, In his daily stories are his own. They dd not, thosV of nscessarUy.rcolncide-wit- h "' T this newspaper. EDITOR.) . , By HILLBILLY Subscription terms By carrier in the county, 45 east the month; ApLil' terrible i9 quiteN 01d outside county, $4.00 the in mail county, in Uie $5 00 year advance; by Junk daughter is pearing batch-od to fide in Lil any tqe walks I --oant piore; o daughtat d dauKhter and afford a R. W. and editor Goodell.managlng manager; N. Gunnar Rasmuson, a flashy car, so the saving I derive 1 . advertising-managerA. J. Owens, C. Ni editor; Hlcku, county editor; fnra' the operation of Lil I invest ' lndaughter's higher education. But I want to tell some of you wise guys, who are always buying ceded new cars; who regard autohie central idea seemed to run through the minfU of the shiny, mobiles as social assets rather than " . large number of Vineyard residents wh gathered Saturday transportation, morninsr xt the scene of the fatal accident M which Nathan Old Lil will go anywhere any car earth will go; and seven months Shore of Sbsamboat Springs, Colorado, lost his life wherfliis on iH the year old Lil does tuff going with.' arfd'"Salt 4'southboimd LorAfigetes that would .wreck your pet bus In a i - automobile collided Lake train. month. Lil has been doing that for to do it . That idea wafcthis : THE COUNTY COMMISSIONERS years; she will continue for years more.' Lil stands out in SHOULD PLACE X LARGE DANGER SIGN ON EACH snow' gets half buried in ruts, .with SIDE OF THE TRACKS TO WARN TOURISTS OF THE rushing Icy water flowing over the IMPENDING DANGElrAT THE BAD CROSSING. axel; Lil gets sun and Lil gets frost r. oTie road from each cKrection; makes a 90 degree turn and Lil has been frozen solid and she'd the i re making the turn the high- - Lil hason been so hot sheBUT over the railroad track. her Jlust pan, after paint way rans parallel with the tracks making it impossible . fqr nil these years, old Lil will go any! theo-earwhere any car will go, and she conthe auto driver to see any approaching tram irom tinually goes where; no expensive Stranprers are unaware of the railrbad until theVj are right car can hope to follow. at thelxrossing since the tracks are Redden front' th view I see these smart boulevard cars; ' . weecErand the of thirroad by crops; these high powered, The only . sign at present at the, crossing faces south cars; occasionally one d of these smart, creations SfuTphow s an arrow and the words "To Salt Lake." MOTHERS C&$; RrW. off the JJves may be saved hy the erection of appropriate signs wanders noses into these hills; from the road in either direction October to late April such a boat po that may be warned in jjlenty of time, of thelangerousros3ing. Is usually dragged out with a team; sometimes I can drag them up the hills with Lil; sometimes with Big Old Democracy truck also a V : Ben, the PROVO-CATION- S small car, with certain additions. '"Turn the jascals out,- tariff reform, farm relief, By I Into some. hard hit recently 1924 of chestnuts convention, the, reduction, enforcement, untry on a fishing trip; that day I d armed over for 1928. And, with that platform of ,1324, assisted six shlnv. modern cars to (This column is sweet of the its ! choicest, licking young get going again; too much power by Hill Billy. Billy has guest-co- n the Democracy got (Copyright. 192S) for tha gear ratio; that was the ducted several times lately and. we v life. Howdy, folks! . These party caare in hope he can, perhaps, be trouble ha every case; boulevard platforms are like restaurant However,' the folks, generally, have come to look upon cars. joled Into doing it six days a week. -parsley they 7 look Well, but . '... -- ilatform-makin- g indoor innocuous rA of one the . as sports. , L1I cut beK first teeth on tuffer --J. M.) mean thing. don't considerable number of the fellows who, in convention, whoop going than most modern cars can and, tto Lil is only four it up for" platform principles vote the other way, if they get accomplish Say Jim, you recently tore the hide We're going to vote for the canold, there isSoot another bus off into Congress or other place' to actually perform. -- The skill of years a local pulpit thumper and I didate who comes out with a ringIn the county that hatackled these remost with' not be appraised upon the excellency hills the ye.ar aroundVnd that is your heartily agree the fisherman should of ing demand for the ' markson that particular preacher office wags who pindeportation .... signs on the of his baif but upon the number of fish he lands. going strong yet. is a that fellow, coat-tailiving of fellow workers saying The Houston convention was remarkable In that there Lil isn t pretty ,but sheNls darn by spouting about making Jesus Instead of "Kick me!" she delivers and efficient, so and f "vital respect-oin ;much to so live the thing and the was principles" harmony tation for under two cents aNnile trying ,to devotion over message personages.fist fights many the year thru; hill and dale. Some of these politicians who are but, James there are regular and highway, counting verythi on we got- - promising to help the farmer, think On fishing trips I see chuckle-head- s reachers yetwe earth and The gotta give a white that you milk a cow by pumping with heavy new cars who are a be lair hand even if his; collar is her tall up and down. ; " Mrs. Coolidge goes to a beauty parlor, in Duluth. and it taking more depreciation on ten guy3 buttoned behind takes a big squad of police to keep the crowd back. Thousands nilles than Lil can be sold for; is Ll'l Gee Gee Is hoping that the smart? of people surround the parlor and the business of a whole that Republicans really do something for run I'll Lil few a Nix; and letter a Jim I got Recently, the farmers, as she says she can't street is, practically, suspended. -- Rudeness, promoted by buy stamps, and higher years education about a preacher who is likely to possibly grow another nasturtium in unreasoning curiosity. However, it may be news of national for daughter, with the savingsu lose his because he fought her window-bo- x .without govern- the piouscharga Jawn Dee Junior In his ment aid. importance that the first lady of the land needed a marcel, Colorado coal camps LOCAL GIRL STIRS NATURELAND a shampoo, facial massage and a manicure, which she got. and I se,t me down and wrote . .. CONVEHTJQJC 1 Nothfhg Wonderful if Mrs. Coolidge, also, did not choose a check for Id bucks and sent a Among the out to run for more of it. Most human women would become sick On the edge of Death Valley, letter of appreciation to that fellow standing delegates he, Jim actually went out and of holding a position in which they couldn't have finger where there is hot a sign of anyat the Houston mescross he toted the of took the oras the attendance head washed as far without, green thing the eye can . nails trimmed, " convention was ,the weather bureau has a sta- sage of Jesus seriously and faced ' see thousands. ; ; r . Mrs. Minnie tion which" they call Greenland Jail and unpopularity and everyRanch. prominent thing clubbecause he believed h'e was SprlngvUle woman, who deand was willing to puthis i right familiar with tidal everybody move a The Eagle owl is an European, bird but there's manded a plank nats and wet margins ot swamps little all on the altar in the Democratic there are a few preachers like on foot to import him to the United States for thejienefit knows that Jack Snipe gets his food platform making owLis by sticking hisbllHntff the ground that;- - Jim and wh en "W" discover -- lof game queer critter. As--he it a penitentiary we should donate taking thererrom a bug one stands on a stake in the yard, he looks just like a big house and offense for husor something. But few juicy will realband to say, "Ob. jnop. His specialty is killing other birds of prey. In Europe, ise that Jack drives In- - that bill 25 The name of the 30 times a minute. preacher Is. Dr. My Gosh, hash' As many as A. they tame him and tie him to a stake near the pens,, allowing to A. Heist of Grace 40 little wells have been tonight?" again dug by a church at Denver, Colo.Community plenty of rope. When' another owl or crow or hawk appears, f in 60 seconds. Mrs. ork -the eagle owl policeman rpp the intrud-- coming and is on bird too It's to a trouble long, story would alse have a : : . he arrives. him instant believe me with Jim the but you you law passed wheretop of SCIENCE there is a minister by husbands who V 10 heckl he took bucks off of let - their cigar me and I haven't given a preacher stubs bum bole In the mantleplroe THE TEETH a cent since I was married , will be compelled to wash the dinEven in this day and age, Mister t. ner off run a and for dishes '"Let's get separated. Man has room for vast improveyear. "It would be awfully romantic, ment In the care he exerts Dr. Heist's story Intrigues me In behalf dear, but tnother'd feel dreadfully of his teeth The United States this fellow handled the relief funds McKlnley's campaign slogan was ' JULY S hurt Jf I didn't set a rgulr court Public Health Service has Just is- for the starving kids of the miners the full dinner pall Hoover's slo I'm to wear the same dress sued a statement d divorce. assumed 1T75 Washington 50 a cents at week a kid no dqubt, will be the full gasocontaining some of the American army. the did."udgv. . and he fed the kids on the four gan, Interesting Information , line tank. common neglect of these concerning bits with the Colorado Fuel and 1776 Debate on the Declaration of " vitally A B1KDIE 5UVBK continued. organs. Tooth decay Is, by Iron crowd on his tail every minute We remember, we remember, Independence was intract- long odds, - 183 the most common of all First V. S. normal chool "He claims his wife and I know at first hand some" That adolescent so beat her he able, lordship, diseases. Mass. your at It causes much misery, a thing about that Colorado thing . When we read Fra year, opened Lexlngt9rt, Elbert Hubbard golf-clua into with Union. subjection to the 1890 Idaho admitted great portion of which could easily Jim give the guy a hand and And thought him quite a seer! asked be avoided "In how many strokes?" 1912 Thomas R. Marshall chosen by the exercise of a lit- - if you have a stray dime slip it to " "' the ue judge. common sense. as Woodrow Wilson's running this preacher In care .of Frank L. The air Is so refreshing at some mate. Eighty per cent of all phliirn W Palmer at Denver" summer resorts that you can sleep low the age of 12 are FOR FATHER'S SAKE that's also a good yarn Palmer 14 hours a day, which only leaves from suffering some sort of tooth decay. "Wonlt you marry me?" Improper has money and, takes liberty very 10 hours a day for slapping at: mosfood, particularly too much sweet-stuff- s, seriously not" a parlor -; should 1 Room j "Why quitoes. pinkui and too little food which re- just, an efficient Jeffersonian . home. The "I want to take-roold man hasn't had a good laugh quires vigorous chewing,-cau- se . "Conundrums," opined much, of this trouble. In years." Carnegie Puppet ' So there really are Regular mlnle smoker, rcaching'f ar forward to re tors left not all of them are mere move his watch from a vest pocket. mouths a pouters vnrr she took OF TONGUE "were a great thing In my day. Now, "evangelists" seeking easy mona fool me "I took for you suppose " of course, folks hardly know what when ey smart guys playing mob hysyou married me?" one did other are. hear ihe I they Rev. Harry Emerson Fosdlck, D. teria the drama the choir or the "Well, I took you for better or for day, however. D.: "If we are trying to save our movies stuff ,.; "It seems that A says to B: B, worse, not knowing how you'fi turn there are fellows of the cloth . religion we are on the wrong t News. . , why Is it that women can't grow who. actually take Jeeus seriously fcck ts th discovery of and n aches?' a religion that will save us." try their little best to - make " Give up, says Br T heaven come to earth iitlirfiii iMhiij, 'You-ea- f" grow "'Well,' says A, . .j such ministers Jim-T-in --The all fairEmil toworld Ludwlg of grass en racetrack.', 7 d ness to we humanity day wants fewer dreams and more " Citizens facts, less art and more health, few-6- r cynics with plenty of white paper our should promote at command bIlm" and more happiness." t Sincerely,'- YOUR ENGLISH t 1 Dr. Newton Moats, San Francisco HILIjBILLT, . We take this measure of thanking "The need - of our DON'S SAY "It don't make n'lne people of Provo and Pleasant Methodist: Grove for thttlr Kindness and cour- - church today Is to straighten, broad- the kind of hooch that Is belncJ difference." "It makes tesy to us in our recent bereave en and macadam ire Its ' winding made byto most of the dealers Is ence" Is correct j HOTEL ' , stagger humanity. traHs enough that the g PRONOUNCE "lesson"" "a!" If ment In the loss of our father, who vehiclesin order The. kind of taffy a girl likes of modern thought and life . Pleasant. Grove most goes in at the ears. spelled "les-n-'' with stress or "les. wasjkllle3near RntnrHnv .Tnn Sn " ' bettetacoommodated maybe Is so not as It commonly NEXT! A. we thank used. u lALf LAKE CITT. UTAH THE BOBBER SSHOP' nerur j. u Knvn ann t rtsritti at H Ukt Olrr t fONT USE. "have ran" when who were. most kind to us; also for Prof. Diggendelve, who knows fas aotalt, wfcars iMk a4 enry yo mean "have run." their attention in our behalf in the nearly everything, says there may 11 Ha s wtrai boapltat--r. 4.DAGE popularly used but often auto accident which we were In on be something In the theory that Qmf is oaMctloa. Cait M . safMria. - misquoted: "It Is not how long buTTrovo Bench Sunday evening. We beauty is chiefly mental, but L it ya Eaom. IACH WtTg BATS how well one has lived" was "The were strangers and their assistance takes more than that to fit a girl Klbtea. T.kMMW. Bar V 12.00 to $4.00 for a bathing beauty review L measure of a man's life is the well Was greatly appreciated, f TMf VnnIA Ask tern TkHS s. m !AsieW rn. Man Sousley attracted- some atten MR. ft MRS. HENRY SHORE, r? mi) HlLLH,b4ernko- J.JL RATBURN, Oen. Mgr. spending of it and not the length rr oialuu.siM.Ij, L ...I as Plutarch wrote it, ages ago,: Fruita, Colorado- - - tion with, the announcementJthar t tf DsikOjw imttataS hiath-tone- Warning Sign tiJi v. . : N hard-surfa- high-way'a- Same seven-geare- Whatever troubles "Noah had When on the Ark he sailed, He never sprang leak below; ' Cms, i guest-conducte- -- . l j 0 ll It And balled and bailed and hftlledJ .11 XT" y . - Nothing surprises a young "man more than .to return from his two hla. emweeks' vacation and-fln: tployer still solvent. A r Art Shannon. d. j " Penalty of Position - Flck-lefori- ISOURAIM j I I I I GEE, TH OFFICE Ul GEEVAMP, 8EZ:.. , Has it ever occurred to you how few errors are made- - by our men when checking out the groceries you purchase? If not, you will be surprised after checking your .(each item bears sellings price) item by item against the adding machine tape placed in your bag and then checking the adding machine tape against the cash register receipt that is always placed with your purchases. -- i I Th' only men who know how j women rivals feel wlien they kins each other are prizefighters, who snake hands before th' bell . ; rings. 'I pur-chas- jut . .. - This Is Exra W. fa-- Porcupine, moos scientist, forking NO PURPOSELY MADE ERRORS HERE home Aften ten years of experiment, Prof, porcu pine, haa succeed ed in producing a lawn rraaa that wui grow one Inch high and then stop, doing away with the necessity of cutting it every week. . owner. rrPhoto by h ns Svme. f About this time of the year the young college graduate stops wait- - . c, ITS SAFE l ' TO S WIM 71 East Center AT - fi Pk-kie- , 1 '".-- ' . TlfTn the thousands of daily trans-actiomade by onrmen and our . machines, an error is made, it is in reaili ty an error and not one of those errors made purposely We will appreciate you watching all transactions of 6ur employes and tspeciaHy the amount of money he r -.y collects from you and the. amount V . of your cash register receipt placed in your bag. If an error should ' ocew- - at any timer we will appreciate you reporting it quickly to ' the store manager;. 7" An Immigrant Wanted es ; who has done much to alleviate .he Tot of the hard ; a lit . EFFICIENCY J mc nca laonct i ls bnttarn Family Fireside Fun This Date in Our American History 7 PRIGESSM cpm-man- ; 7 v Jim Marshall -- his le Rowe. jobi. i d . . i Ing for a responsible position to be offered to him and starts looking for a plain, unvarnished r THE OBSERVER - tin No, Specter haunts the' race Whose lives, flamed freedom's torch To give this nation peace, i'-- SNH g - . h'igh-geare- duo-tone- ' -- They still march on; though dead, Immortal live their deeds. Triumphant still, we tread"' H " The victor's i path: ' f . ' . . . ' - Forevermore. -- toumts-traveling.alon- ' . . f .u..i........L-.-lt.Ji.'--.- Hearts bled for j"ustice-pea- ce That desolated hearths i win a world's release m From tyrant chains .vw-ligh- f high-tone- . 192 8 We still clasp freedom's hand, Lnd feel the thrill that pulsed Through this chaotic land" T So long ago. AT MINIMUM CO UT4 , nt We are offering the GREATEST , in the history of ir. 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