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Show 1 THE TAGS TWO, NEWS FEATURES PRESS COMMENT r -- s , An Independent Newspaper MEMBER NEWSPAPER lENTERPBISR ASSOCIATION MEMBER I'MTED PRE8S ASSOCIATION , War n. Hornlbrook N. Gunnar Kasniuson ,...yty Editor t ! Established aa weekly In 1856; an dally In 1922. Publlsked in the Uereld building, 50 South First West street, Provo, Utah, every evening. Provo, tfM .SjoardafT- wiHywHti Luke View; Vineyard, Orcm. Provo Hem h; sod Pleasant View. All comTelephone 65 plaint of whatever nature should be made at one. Enterfd eeewiid class mutter at the posttiffice In Provo, Utah, t - BuMlaetu. Office Telephone ... Editorial Koouis, Telephone. .107 - - ...... ...... ........ : How the U.S. Can Boost the 'CAT' ; : ANCIENT MAN i book and art. 'A woman He was a fierce and brutal, ehapej the man of time, re- -' bat Bay Loveless averts confidently about mote; he had the features of an ape, the whiskers of a he Is Impiaer when talking ' goat; he dug hi burrow In the clay with implements of the pain iu her back. bone; he had no music mill to play, no radio or phone. When darkness.fell he had no light that would dispel the Boyr I wish I could revise the same, and aoth Jung, kflg winter night seemed endless, ' alphabets. Girl: Why, what would you do? stale and taJne "Tfie world was dark ere culture's morn, Boy; I'd put U and I closer to-and all it knew was woe ; and I am glad I wasn't born a million years ago. It's just by chance I didn't roam the tether. -- Weak Neanderthal, and occupy a muddy, home; no pictures " Tea, the cream risea to the top. ax of flint I ground and honed, no battle did ' a a our s Hke to was T I. wage; somehow my birthday postponed until this, any. But It auurs just ai qtuckly present age. , The more I read of ancient days, the more bh the milk. ; in modertt,Ways of pleasmy' joys increase; my lot antness and peace. The scientists are turning stones, and The tramp paused outside the skulls and hoW. t. 1 place in sackaandcrates the "CU'ar out V shouted the lady of bones of ancient delegates. I read their tales of toil and the house. "I ain't got no wood to when I chase and desert to bed I dread, of myself caravan, There, ain't nothing you could dream of ancient mans 1 seem to chase .through swamp ehop. do around here," and glade the warthog to its lair, and slay it with my wood is," retorted en spade, and gat its shoulders there., I seem to drink the'But, uwdam, there with dignity. "I from murky, brooks where crocodiles repose"; I have no could wayfarer give you a few lessous in saxophones ( or books or helpfal things like those. ' And gruuiiuar.-, wben I wake at break of day, and look, around my shack, with all its trappings britve and gay, and books in stack on Flapper's Kcclpe. stack, I thank the gods through mellow tears , I didnt start Little beams of moonshine, Li le h ugs and kisses, to grow about five hundred thousand jrears or more than Air-Ma- il the-waUj- a is-ca- . time-discolor- ed air-ma- fV" Xlnke your gasoline with GHOOSE ! it for its the petted flapper i 'hange her name to Mrs. all-arou- h bility Gonoco. 1 . A anff . When . ember-that Air-ma- fa tiwi tt11 grow In ft a plantincyoiir garden this There is a free government bulleon" almost except everything nays to avoid being a nuisance. ; fiti.uiWnnt tin rem- Jolly liea.m Wilt not cffiimie. A thing of beauty keeps you broke forever. - t'afe'or-cliestr- melo-drairl-is- ts ... air-ma- -- College and Life v Noon, Jack Kmith.' p. in., UplimiSt , on'hetTsi : - ----- . I "I don't New health inTanlac A!;ck" Meters, Kn.I,-"Wr..- u man wilf chase a girl until she Oying at movie U foolish. - TIip witches him,' "It's funny. same tears used, at home vylll"feot n woiunn a spring hatv finest' at Tanu" fotrr boy Josh, i : lie's going to town to seek Wiiat makes this modern pwtry says l is guessing at what it ' Yes," Farmer A - : . u answered blame E , ... , , : m E I I HM , Hayseed. -- KJ ta . . 1 Conoco is the gasoline that meets all the .requirements of better motoring starting, pickup, power and mileage. It gets you off in a jiffy, responds read ily in traffic and keeps you going a lot more miles per gallon than you expect Ifs the all in one" . Air-ma- il aaijaak quality and constant depends- - After dusting off the old !hono-Kr.iphit them with a heavy Irato Customer: You can't fool sli'dke hauiByr. ' uie!! Do you think I've . bought rocerli'S here for fifteen years for Anti and volutin Ivy are eager to HoHiing? ulret' ilk jjlcnlekern and auinmer ? tiroeer: I shouldn't be at all ' : ' Ixiurders. : , air-ma- il. nd performance. Buy it by the brand name that stands for Elias Mel sen says either a draft or an overdraft may give a man a chill. TOM SIMS SAYS ; . Extra power and 1 1 ' '.'"? , Jy. . - THE AIR long-jum- air-ina- U " -- is in a peculiar positioaso far as public use The il came in the government did not adWhen railroads goes. vertise "Send Your Letters by Rail," thus leavingr.the people a choice between stagecoaches and the locomotive ; the government simply lifted Ihe. mail onto the steam cars and that was the end of that, The. government, made the change. in and the government that ago! Now, however, the airplaneaa-com-e is satisfied wUti advertising rLse the Air Mail," giving the his; choice between mail train and airplane. Why il an integral part of United States Postal not' make the mail off the trains and send- - ON p Service by lifting all t as part of - iug it by plant, not at the choice of the sender,-buBe local mail will stiS improved government service. There TOMORROW enough for the trains to carry. On sowdfthS Tnail routes onljra. few ounces of mail are The reason for this is that it is Jeft to carried every ' APItlL.S and the public impression is that a lot to sender decide; Jhe 428.8 Jiotera,. Sun Frnnfiwo KI'A a of letter by of red tape .surrounds the sending fntiiriii: n. m.. Finrmonl could cease being a selective de luxe service with; a rmi ' . .. tons where it great deafof benefit to itself. It could carry would use the orchestra ; now carries ounces if. the government itself air routes for the regular transportation of mail where "air hour; 7 p. m., .Ftiirmont Hotel or routes are established. . ehintra.; 8 p. mi, pnrurnj9 il docs not promise to become much of a factor in Coimtltutlon week uddress, Juiljie American business, until the government hooks it up with the Warren Olney, Jr.; U:10 p. m., pro in., vnwriii w;ieorenegram; regular mail servico. At present it is largely a matter of traKHll'.p. m., Pompeliau p. as the romantic interest. We write about . And most KGtrr361 SIcsirOnMnTfiff1used to write about "The Night Mail." ' il The al features ; 11:30 a. in., people have in it only a postage stamp interest. will grow as it becomes less of a de luxe service depending M'.-- m., Hotel St. I ranci :' on the selective interest of the public and becomes more the tra; 5:30 p. m., boys' iiilk ; s u government's usual method of forwarding our letters. Dear- Ilineh'a "The Wild Duck;" H p. m l'n nidiS Gardens born Independent. air-ma- r"2 Rapid (f may-tal- idatitude-uoflger- TERMS OF glBSCRlPTION Delivered by carrier, per mouth ................. Iiolivered by carrier. per year. I advance ..I ..........,....f4J5P $3.8 by Mail 'to I'Uh county; ner year. In advance Utah outside county, per year, ir in United wail States, Delivered 'by M-. v. . . . .. advance All advertising copy for the, .current issue must be In not later thai " 11 o'clock, a. in. --w- I OFFICE . Publisher . .... TIMELY EDITORIALS WASHINGTON NEWS The. WALT MASON RHYMES f Iftgft. EDIT OMIAL FAfnE t j JJ: RIPPLING THE EVENING HERALD v HEXING HERALD. WEDKgsbAV, AftM, 7, motor fuel Drive up to the Conoco sign for more and better, miles. - t ., CONTINENTAL OIL COMPANY him. Everybody feels occasionally like getting awSy an' lookin' fut""viork stld 0' staytfl' where-hknows It'll be waintin'; fur Jibu regular." Producers, Refiners and Marketers y . 'What is the bey doing at college? What does he like? p. m.. health talk, Vr. Hiii'p Confer the crown Yale recently made a survey of its seniors to find out. Here Lovell; 8 p. m., proirrani.. Ou my friend Mose: KFI. 47 Mefers, Lot Aii(telo is your typical Yale senior : BfAi wtriei, tkt pain i, tr.j tact I v saysi. He does not believe in prohibition; He prefers a good I'suiil foatunH); 5:30 p. m., 0:30 p. was a toriuTe. My Aad the heigoes- stiff same 'of tennis to golf. He would rather watch a foot m., programs; p. m., watycrtsay low. j8 p. m., rtfwaswasbroken of program; ball game than any other sport except .hockey."- Mussolini i ..cniiforuia iltefi The things of life end 1 could not eat. would claim his attention as the biggest world figure today, j Marguerite jMitma, iia ist ; 9 p. must be paid for. Liow about the m., programs, iinc Tanlac toting President Coolidge and Charles Evans Hughes would be the text instaUmeut? 41ywoKl i He would smoke.:fOrlietlidbefore he tnyirouetesareover. mpti hemost admired. ITaiial features: 7 u..m.. 8 p. m., 9 get m inrui jrom j most came to college. Ile. wotild have considered English his One Provo young man calls his got J tea I ih Teniae p. iu.,10 p. m.. rroRTHUis; 11 p. m., valuable study and psychology the least useful. fave mt." E. E. 4ri friend Chiffonier, because she , Cocoanut Grove orchestra; 12 midItrrty, 232 Bryant is.suah a swell dresser. His favorite novel i3 Tom Jones. His favorite anthors night, Don Men nejjS Midnight fro St. , Dubuque, Iowa, are Dumas andSabatini. , He enjoys reading "If" and "The lic. litis statement merely backs up "This is just plain hell," said the Dauber,", or. something by Masefield or. Browning.;- - For an KGWr, 491.rj, (Meters. Portland wiiat orer one hundred thousand devil 6 Barry-more12:30 m., p. likes Csuai m., he John the feaures p. at theatre entertainment apologetically as he ushered evening's users .hare said about Tan grateful " ' liiTT'irtBTHtc p. ;v '- -- Jane Cowl, George Arliss, Ina Claire. lac. Our files are packed .wlffi such, 4u his new guest." testimony. , The same list of tastes and characteristics, however, Truth igoeirty ; 8 p. m., vafideville. Customer : 1 wint two pounds If your systenl IS TUtt down, II KFOA, .454.3 Meters, 'iienitft-probably would l?e compiled by observation of a similar sized i'sttnl " l!f:30 p. m Ytmng yoacan teenvto at or- sleep; have of fimpenij foiitures;, the outside of if thTey colleges, particularly, groupof youths luuehraliii OerU We're ut fit four- p.. los weight or suffer from trying Hun's Buaiuessj.flub life.-After come from practically ih Same surroundings ill startTou Iwit I can let you have m, Womeu's rlubs progrSui; 5:15 palhrwhrnonetsoaac hack to vigorous strength, and prtiny liails, all, we take Our,, likes aftd dislikes, our talents or the lack of p. m.i children's story.-- ' four pounds of nails. health. them, everywhere we go. College life probably changes them KPSS, 315 fi Meters"," PasndeiiHf-- 8 No long, wretchedjwatt tc get re but little.5 Humarsity in general is prone, to follow the herd, p. m., musienl program. If being decent were something suits! Tanlsc" starts right in to as it vere We .form our habits largely upon those flf others build you- up. It cleans the blood, that people had to do surreptitious organs, fixes ly, nearly everybody would be try in the of life. With different degrees of talent, Tennis was phiyod in ) lie ."Middle revitalizes digestlre are achieved Ages in Europe. At that time the up the lirer ana mages you, ieei ing to be decent. ability and industry, of course, different-result- s strn,k vith the palm of but basically we are very much alike. take A the hand. man who of hih-grad- e in Arkansas, petroleum product Colorado, Idaho, Kansas, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New MexUo, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Utah, Washington and Wyoming y ' "Good-bye,- 4 -- worth-whil- e .. ' . ,- : coij-erts- ; v - 111.. two-penn- y r - , same-sphe- re .rrS01-01- Mll-W- ., , ;..i....;,,.-. 4 ... 0O0- McAdoo's Friends Seek Abolition Two-Third- Jim gosh sah'esV s Rule (U.P.) son finally ,was selected. . Friendsvho cliinjrto William Ai;ninin "the Madison Square Gar-AleAtloo. jHillen Uililts, .vieAnoo tnroiiKn ins streuu- - U"ii liaseo or jii fftorts to olitmn the 1024 Doui-- : 5.1K, votes out of 1,032 en at at one ti 'iiitic presidential nomination areipo'nt 111 the night, but lie could get tetU ust- - nmw.!iiU i nu -- MfUitirf jut-uu- t eonipronuse John W. Duvis was finally Inn of the rule under which, a J iciiiocriiUc maioiuil 'convention chosen. .must chooM- a c. mil i tie b.v u two-- - If the National Committee should thirds majority. nholish the rule ns They want cfiiid'iliilts in the campniim innnager Willium chosen by a mere, majority un- Ladd Rockwell, now suggests, it Is der the system ibe lUiiiililican not un'ikely thiit McAdoo may nc-iluse. Slnce-4h- e , enter tile field. l'ower to chan'ge the. rule lies Maii' si m Htiuwe Garden affair he wit hk the. Democratic National .Com- has licon in complete political res mit lee nlid'the issue will lie fought tirement, but abolition of the out bitterly Jy it before the injyt rule, his friends believe, liational'conve'ution ia.028.- miirlit coax him again to seek the ' u 1; istorie nomination. The .t rJ 1 Here is the ipmocrn t IcrpriiieipIeT exist lug jitmv polltk-a- l the Uiiltiniore couveulion in 18S2 complex, life anal.vr.eil by - Senator when Andrew Jnckiir was no'min- - Sartei, Class Dem Vn. : tiled and it will be thnnged t'liiy : '"Ve lemoerats are invited to rewith grenf reluctance. If at ell. At new the coalition of 1924 with the -tirnrty 'every 'convention- Klin-- iii- - insurgents who Insnrge" here .in this chamber, but only election day niiguration of the xystmn, the rwsed. bei iiuse it fens obediently return to the Itepublican wfiys acted to klii off the Miidld.icy fold." of wme popuiar lender who iniuht: The 'three cornered battle for the nppriixlinalo a major. t of the Mil Itepiiiilican senatorial nomination in . . lit it nivvayt full hort of the 1'cinifylvania lKtween Senator rfivt h.is J's pructtctib Hop., Vitre and Gov Pinchot is - 1hii to forcu selection oi eonipio-wiigiven greater lmportnm by hrSfor-liui.t- i cHtidiiliites. who have du- - back in HnjicC' - Tims t H(ill!li;nv-ii- r ltil"iT"Vre-venteorfls'uud. found. tluj,t Pennsylvania selection , of t Immp Cliirt hns not elected a Iemocrat senn'tor who..,obta!nci'a iMjonty but could since 1S74, when William A. Wall not irct Woodrow W1I- chosen. - WASH I XCTON, April 1 writer says that any OUT OVR WAY ERTHE CAPlTOtrDOME -- ' 6 dcW-T- h WM NsU.Atfe.AM- -a OKI UlrA? HOO Milk vjem e vwrMBROKlc, 1M ' IK1' W''t A goTTA ; 3- - ' - two-thir- WOR4S OFTEN- -- MISUSED r : so let him go, prefer Don't use "alternatlveTHn referring ring to stick to the evidence in the to one of more than two things. ' suitcase. ; '. MISPRONOUNCED: As Chorley suspected, it proved IfJakcd. Pronounce the a as ;in to be the real "old stuff." 'ate," and not "neck-ed.- " OFTEN" MISSIELLED: Accordingly a warrant was sworn PumD-CHARLES P. STEWART By out for George. ALttiisnioment vL kin. XEA Service Writer. it's expected he'll be 85 NONYMS : writing CatchrapfnreT WASHINGTON Politicians tire brought la anyJminute,-aios- t like Clutch, grasp, grip secure," .seize, 'em here in ly he'll si;eery folksy-Tak- e be in the boosgow, snatch, actually ensnnre. entrap, . Wjghjngtfln.Jiet, th jeastilttle maybe bond, by the time -- WOOTJSTfDYT "Use a word thing happen that threatens to get these lines 4hree times and it is yours.' Let 'em in bad'.' with the voters "back us increase our vocabulary bymas-terln- g home aiid they're the worst wor- ' From the pofltical one word each day. Today's standpoint, the ried crowd anybody ever saw, serious part of; the situation is that Which Word;.IXSEPARABLE; ; My, what a panic they've been in that George specialized m the eon-- cannot be separated." "Union and ever since "George, the bootlegger gressionalrtrade and is believed to lilierty, one and .inseparable, now In the green hat," got caught ! have had more of that kind pf cus- -' and forever." Politicians Are Awfully Skeeru To Get In Bad OFTEN ; f ? " w oups TH A (AUTOMATICALLY) J ' find'tim, I two-third- hiiH-bw- DAILY LESSONS IN ENGLISH By W.L. Gordon ' HeatYpur Hsp can-dtdt- ite ntyy-Hid"t4- tomers than any bootlegger in Washington. Now the question arises : Jlns be a list of his patrons, and, if so, is there danger it will fall into the hands ot4he policed ni - HYW1LL1AMS W Nog fancy his breakfast should ; George some people may know see a doctor about it. E. C. Pulsi- - his- other name, but probably not pher says that is a much safer many, for he's a reticent guy-r- "worked" In, the House of Represenplan than Interviewing the cook, tatives office building. He and his If a man gets credit for beine a green lid have been familiar sights deadbeat he finds if hard to get in its corridors for a "long time. credit for; groceries. But the capitol police hooked him at " last. It's true he didn't 4 4 j.iu.-wiitustay hooked. let milljffuiuic ing about two liundrtW feet) : Dear He dropped the suitcase he was carme, 1 ye gone and forgotten that rying when Officer Chorley hailed - hlBtnit-maderiii- s feta ined -- pa rach ute; . getaway. ChoiF doesn't- n s. ' AND ENJOY CALIFORNIA COMFORT HERE ' ' Pep-por- e ace-wa- I A - - -" M-a- .i a I '.. " ..,.'; . ... . MS GMEAFEU V i 4 |