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Show THE EVENING HERALD,- WEDNESDAY, SEPTEilEE S 2, 1023 'AGS TWO - ii The OFFICE r CAT THE EVENING HERALD morning exoept Monday. tar tba Herald buftUag, pHYMES.-;;-MA- o t An independent Newspaper !tlikd m weekly In ISM; an a dally U 1921; tana mrj i TIMELY EDITORIALS WASHINGTON K NEWS FEATURES PRESS COMMENT very -- I . U - -- Fair.:rilin. rraceful as fawn, she dived Into the gwLnuulmj pooL She never came up. 'But," aald the optimist, "It was a good dive." LIFE IS SWEET WJ .. Vt JJt ' r" " It's passing strange how man wiH cteave to Uit srhen life ia vain, when he is racked, from morn to ve, hy every J kind of pain. I used to say, when hale and blithe, "If Yori Jan'Jkai-- a boy ta eollere, Eater ai second elaaa natter at tba postofflee ia prove, Ctafc sickness comes to pasa I liope ihe reaper" with his scythe but you can't make him think aiorts . PBMlahof will mow me down like grass. I would not wish to linger .. ........ . ,'m. IL BornlhToak are not more important than ......... Idltor 4. Uon&ar itaamuson ...... City ' Is, and bittera from a demijohn, on, to swallow concrete ' to stave off fatal ills.j I'd hate to lie for weeks in bed. aiiiin Office, Telephone ....... T....t..10T with jnly. pills to eat," with poultices upon my head,' and .ditorlal Booms, Telephone lAccommodulSaa;. morVupon. my feet. Oh, better far to loop the loops, and VTe wa sealed la the parlor, K. ii. A. Service. Member United Press Mewa Berviee weeks.of anguish shun', and join the silent sleeping groups Wbe she begaa to pout, Only daily newepepet la CUh aontn of Salt take City; larfeat hos agonies; are done.ttn I thought;! jneant it while I: Aud i failed to UudtTKlaud ' Halt Olden. ootatde and Lake City of any newpper la t:ah What It was aU about talked, but lately I was prone, and pains and athes unt ....'... TERMS Of BUBSCKIFTION. , chartered stalked through every thew and bone. There was never want to see your, face," ellvered by carrier, per month ......... K..'"..te I and no 'in of hour weeks knew ease, Mbn many aught silvered h carrier, ner Wr. In advance. ...... ............ She sobbed, "You are fright" aches and pains with vulture beaks tore at my neck and Then' eUrred by mall la Utah county, per year, in advance..... I had an inspiration slivered by mall, la United BUtea, autaiae iftan eounry, per year, knees. I heard the doca and nurses sigh, "Twere. mercy turned out the parlor light. I his have hed' that if system fly, croak; the pains through smoke." 3ut I endured, my grievous filled the house-wit- h ? la no disgrace, aaya i. Newspaper Advertising ilia and cried in accents atrdng, "There surely are aome A. Being poorbut soon becomes very Warner, The kind morti- -' monotonous That the newspaper ia the greatest force the "merchant purple pills that will my . as in his business; to build and hold hia trade against the cianjeame around and- tried to make me eee I'd be much beneath a willow tree. But I refused Florida has a towp named Norum, ncroachmcnt of maiforderhouses, ia the assertion of Elmer better underground, to the py quit this mundane game, while yet but. there'a nothing In a name. bump bumps,. western in a built who little of Minn., Prairie, up, lart, Long the pain, in leaps and jumps, cavorted through my frame. wn, a metropolitan department store, In an address before And now I smile sardonic' grins, when I hear some Correct this sentence: "I don't "When once a sickness dire begins, I'll curt me up and care what the style does," aald she; meeting of a Bonthern merchants association,' Hart re: ;; i. : newed his efforts to build his business in competition" with rr- 'I'll never let mine grow out again." die.". direct selling" campaigns, of houses in the. larger cities, and Adam must bad a tough time ft" tressed the advantage of advertising in the newspapers that Ad-Tak- er when be ' first - picked Eve h to the, of the hiiaingaa bebuilt vicjmty i)ypr couldn't say: Haven't I met yon Undoubtedly the success of the big mail order houses is somewhere TwforeTr ue to tfieirfecjttvayfial8ptaying on paper the alleged Those SuimiKT Vacation Meutoriea! d vantages of' dealing with them. There is absolutely no MR. SCI CKT&R, jr. He:" I'm certain I've seen yon cason why any article can be or will be sold any more cheaply i. u4NT To Know somewliere before. Wherever there's the questioh of having want filled i the big department store than to the smaller, home city ivHeM You'tzs, Qoncj. She (excitedly)1: Great Heavens! tore; If. there sema to be an advantage, it ia only in the at don't hesitate one moment call Miss You aren't the boy who proposed to TO ict that the buyer must depend upon the glowing descrip- me last nightare you? 95. She'll gladly advise you and you use ion and the attractive pictures. t Some persons might be so eceived by thi method that the glamorHof the ladvertise-len- t Ad Provo Want Herald columns, you're as "I want to make a Dart in this." Evening. would throw itself over the articles bought and make thought the barber as be viewed a ':,' sured of having your want satisfied. . hem appear better than they really are, but the average frowzy head. r uyer is level headed enough .to judge values correctJy,;l,lf pick up your receiver ask for Miss Ad-TakThe lowest man I ever knew e reads in his newspaper an account of good values, prjp-rl-y Borrowed my false teeth, then leave the rest to The Herald Want Ad columns. set forth, and is in need of the articles mentioned, he will nsked for ajcljew. e sufficiently interested to go and inspect them. The home one, lerchant' ha3 .many advantages over the Kne ? OjHo-'Another definition of an optiuiist nd his success must depend in great degree upon .how he is the example of a man who takes YC7U TSJURNCL JRe akes advantage of them. For one "thing, he can jshoW 'his a piece of mistletoe when be goes ON fixVl RMINCS; OUf oods to the person interested, instead of having to picture to see the "Follies." . " hem in catalogue, Then, too, if he advertises in his home It Can't lie Done. ewspapers, hia statements are almost constantly, under the Withered and brown, down under sanitary grounds while) others de" : LEAF LESSONS. the snow. not object to It anywhere. " ; Let poets sing their lilting songs reader, who can hardly avoid Beeing4hern, end Millions and mllliona of fair green And strum the gsyly lyre; a to look them up in catalogue, buying in the oesTiot have Withered and brown but we' shall learea Give nic the man who whistles while tores and seeing the goods first is less troublesome andlarf ttock and sway rock and sway, know ;1 VWhy shouldn't a young man 4titii tire.": on He's a 7 putting , leaaanter than pouring over tne books, trying to decide Faithfully clinging, by night by day. Eneh little leaf had found ere It feH, cite his girl's ronge? H certain? i or would be the better purchase. Attractive Work to do and bad done Tt well. hich baa a right to choose hia own food: i H advertising. When the wages of sin are paid Caring not for what hurts . . . .. i i MRS. FRANK A. BECK. grieves; Fi tne newspapers, is reany me oniy, way w gei me awenuon a lot of folks will get Facing the sun whenever they can", ' Mea may not have aa mvlcb aean f home buyers, particularly those not actuated by suf fi- for overtime. Speaking of hope to troubled man. as women, but their vaccination to home the in their there for lent interest city purchase It) A skull half an Inch thick,' and Greeting the blasts that hurtle along eral benefit involved. TOM SIMS SAYS scars don't show. With soft swet tweathing of cheery Banta. Published rovot I. tab. -- ... fta ' jraat..rtraat, rdwa-tion- : : i4 , dr-uktt-oa ....... -. . - - - --- "I -- i.43J0 , life-prolon- g." - . , : r one-cry- , : Phone Miss for Real Want A d Results OutburstotveretSrueBuond6 NO-MO- W, , ,cs. my;: " a . . J Ad-Taket-- tte if . Just out-of-to- -- The'Evening Herald tub s er - - . - yes'-oMf- ie - , . 1 1 A . 1 1 A , 1 lf V You tf&AHTtH& imbrica Forgets Virgin. Islands After Purchase CMm unearthed in Arizona, has been Beat to AVashington without the formal , ' . ity of an election. 'Sees. The Weaklings Have No Enemies x Bong. t , - - Don't blame a bathing beauty to? a scientific age. And costume. The law.tnalata is hugging reduced to a science. her scanty she must wear something .' l4 It's ' tf Millions and millions fair green leaves Marvin : M"y girl has a beautiful ' Life becomes very trying for those embroidered handkerchief ' which Rock and awing rock and swing. ' About 000 1resbyte'rtan, itnnrchl Sheltering millions of .birds that who are afraid to try. .' she claims cost twenty dollars, refrained from Joining thai. fJniteS alngl Katherine : Twenty dollars! . By and by they frill lie in sheaves, . Some people object to kissing on Church of Cahada. it. That's lots of money to blow In. Tou tell me you are proud Of the fact you have no enemies. I used to feel that way. 1 don't ' now, Alwaya I have trie 1 to WsmWDWWJiilc Secretary ' make friends. Alwaya I have If tlie Xavy Wilbur, whose depart- gone out of my way and done rut runs the Virghi. Islands, everything within reason to can't admit JFSpotisiblH? Tin Its T make people like me.' But there irt for the deplorable- cdudlttons are some folks who; Just won't hk'li" Judge Lucius 3.' M. Slairaln like you, who just will miscon-atru- e mrges exist fhere, lt'$ beyondNany-,dy'- s your motives, who can't power to deny truthfully Ouit 8eejnygoodJln.anytlilngLypa oHomically the islands' populathr say or do. ig degenerated diracefully since Well what about it? Should ie t'nited. States took the group ou sidetrack your ideals to er from Denmark ia 1017.-Iplease such folks? Get out from effects of 1910, before the under 'your real self to avoid racrTc-ahad rule bnd time to make nuklae enemies of such people?: semselves fully felt, "the islanders' Not onour tiW. r; That' the porte to thla country amounted to easiest xjy of course, but no .270.512. Those for 1024' were man no man who 1 hum. has 'aud aiubitiou and a, real dere to be of By C1IARMA P. STEWART. NEA ScrvW Writer : . W. O. Peacock says, Just because a man wears silk shirts every night doesn't mean he's well oft He might drive a laundry wagon. . , ' Suggestion to HoteJa. A cross-wor- d at the puzzle pad Delirious, rrononnce the first 1 as three times and It Is yonrs," Let telephone .in each room will ; ave ' hi "It." not as e in "he." ns Increase our vocabulary by mas- wall paper and Increase the patience - r , OFTE5I MISSPELLEDSIosta. tering one Word eaeli day. Today's of patrons. SYNO.NYMS excesftive, Fail; evade, neglect, word: EXOHBITANT; oinit, elude. extravagant. "The cost of living W. J. M'illiams says, the missionof every Miss is to. become a Mrs. WOBD STUDY "Use a word was exorbitant." " r , . . .... . " BY WILLIAMS OUT OUR WAY -- r n. i. inn,, h, jBiinn niiii. ii,i selt-refct- That the decline was due thfaatest to nftval jf y ansnort. Formerly a stoppinu place for the e sliipu of several lines, "It Is not iw by one. Its commerce i(!nnwt wholly gone. It Is dlffl-il- t even to reach, or to leave, once tom-het- icre. t. , - - The legislation .which wrought is ruin was not of the navy's junk- - I 'mofroo! HA I VAr4 - . .. . . POOR NOTl rT MAKES if BWfeU WK VET. NNNf A Pof UP tH E6 AT"S A FAKFOHVA VA 1 Wn.I I x i i ' a. - Jtw - "tfV NWORLO MAM WrtHOUC W Be. ARMS. AJr MAKE. U. A-T- AT0RBUU. hit. , l - 1 11 1 - lviftr indtrfesnn4 trade hare en to blame for the decay of the we lutsy, j)rof!p,erous port of 'St. liomas, the Islands' metropolis, nn- 1 today it Keldom is vtnited .except V navr very 1 1, Make enemies. .you must Mine They won't hurt rou. haven't; Instead, theyshave been a sort of prod au urctKto- uiake ne bew cloBe Oielineif my own conce.pt of life.near a man say now mat lie aas flaTenemies, you know I kind .wonder if he ever attempted to do. anything worth - while. Charles Mackay, lu a few lines, has summed up .the' whole ter quite luiderstaudlngly. Iiead what he says: You have no enemies, you say? aradininisstratipn didn't Beeessar-follow. Trf sohieextent It cer- inl.v doesn't follow.. The application of Americait laws -- 1 f way..5 - - L Snf Alas, my friend, tbe boast is poor; He who has mingled In the fray ' Of duty, that the brave en', dure, Must have made foes! If youhave none Small la the work that yoi have done. . v Xou've hit no traitor on the hip; You've dashed no cup from ' .. 7 s r - - It was.tlie work of a congress In of whose members few ii find the Vireln Island on the ap, without hunting and some of hom probably never heard of them I lie distant lanish Rovernment ok an Interest in the Virein crour :d its Iopls-slinp- ed Its policies t their interest and turned them er to the United States as a thrlv it cMony.: Thia country piit .thetn nder the ehartre of a naval govern-i- and forgot them and the too. " gov-no- r, rrofection of . ' prejufed lip; Yoo've never turned the wrong to right , ; sYoo've been a toward In the fight! - JEROME P..FLEISHMAN. DAILY LESSONS IN ENGLISH By W.L. Gordon California frui. chnrda against frost has become most an exact frost has become WORDS OFTEN MISISE- Imost nn exact science becanse of Dt't,say am going, past the Ii i accurate temperature predictions orary." Say "going bv."" :' OFTEN the weather bureau. JUSPBONOtNCED . Jackson Motor Car "Dependability Regardless of Profit i ii i" i bir.M.iiiiiit,;:Jii '" ' i v " " " " (loi;; Go. in ! a |