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Show DAILY 12 not scheduled 30 is if It is, unless everything goes to crap and you get into a difficult relationship you dread ending and someone you love dies and that me-- , diocre job becomes the one rock you can cling to and you find yourself wondering why you were ever so worked up about one stinkin' birthday. Not that I'd want that for anyone. I'm just saying. Life gets cranky when you try to live it according to some schedule, like married by 26 and millionaire by . 30 and whatever else we're supposed to tick off the list. Take this bad feeling as an invitation to scrutinize what you're doing, see what it's all worth to you, and make any changes that you've always secretly envisioned and that are in your power to make. ; Don't be rash or drastic. and Just go for brave. fnend usually issues parry invitations and bvejournaL Via both Unfortunately, he includes the phrase "complete strangers welcome" on the online diary portion and is very open about providing his name and address to anyone who requests it. I realize that he may have . open-minde- d 1 Carolyn Hax Tell Me About It . you needed to do something else, and so you're doing something else. Yay. It may not feel like a rousing success story but you're actually succeeding wildly at something so many people struggle with listening to themselves, and taking action. Not as easy as it sounds. As for the specifics, it's not too late, and dignity points don't mean anything if they're obtained through falsely brave pretenses. You'll rack up genuine dignity points if you choose to confide in one or two of your close friends that you may " have overestimated your find and suddenly strength yourself feeling all crumbly and in need of someone to lean on. That takes guts. Dear Carolyn: I have a question about manners. I say on the Metro you should give your seat up for the disabled and the elderly. Last time I checked, women choose to have babies therefore they aren't disabled. My friend says they should be afforded the courtesy. I think I'm already paying for them and their kids (i.e. school costs, time away from work). If you . Dear Carolyn:. I've had some tough blows lately, the kinds of things that lead friends and even slight acquaintances to offer sympathy and help. My style was to tough it out, which earned me great praise for strength, dignity, blah blah blah. Trouble is that now that everyone has moved on, assured that 1 am just fine, I am starting to crumble. Seems too late to ask for support and frankly I don't want to lose all those strength and dignity points. Yes, I am in therapy started. Did I do adversity wrong? Is it too late to correct? Crumbling there is no "wrong," you did what you felt you needed to do. Now you're seeing that ' ' can't stand don't get pregnant. Who's right? established dialogue with thesei people over the course of time, and trusts that they aren't utterly heinous, but I and my fiance are deeply uncomfortable about attending parties of this nature (especially since my fiancewho is quite shy isn't entirely comfortable with my friends yet, let alone potentially large groups of strangers). Is there a way I can ask my friend not to invite random strangers upon occasion, as he is clearly upset each time I turn down this kind of invitation? GENTLE READER How d " ST" Judith Martin Miss Manners many crimes is it going to take before people stop dismissing etiquette's requirement of a proper introduction as prissy and ridiculous? Or even an improper introduction. Miss Manners prefers that the order and wording be correct, but the underlying point is that while there are never guarantees about char acter, the odds are better when the person is known to someone you trust. At least the odds of being able to give the police that person's real name. So while you cannot tell your friend whom to invite, you can . admit to being worried about exposure to total strangers, both for yourselves and on his behalf. If he argues the point, you should say. "I'm afraid that's the way we feeL We worry about your safety. But we are always happy to see you and to meet people you know." DEAR MISS MANNERS I am a in my final year of a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in film and media studies and anthropology. Having left a corporate career within project management to pursue this line of study, I am often asked either "why?" or of "the practical value" of my courses outside of an academic setting. Although I always give a Try this: Who's kind? "Tell Me About It": tellmewashpost.com; or write: It," co The Washington Post, Style "Tell Me About Plus, 1150 15th St., NW, Washington, D.C. 20071. sincere response, explaining that documentary filmmaking is what I see as my true calling, the frequently snide and judging manner in which the question is asked (usually by former business associates) often makes me feel disempowered. As I wouldn't dream of returning such perpetual cruelty by rolling my eyes and walking off, do you have advice for how to respond in such situations? GENTLE READER Miss Manners recommends your breaks ing into a wide smile, as if the ' question reminded you of something very pleasant, and saying simply, "We shall see." This means nothing more than that you don't yet know what your education will lead to in the way of a career. But if you say it happily enough, and refuse to elaborate beyond repeating "We shall see," they will be left wondering what's in the works that pleases you so. Pseudogenes as family gold genome (our set of genes and chromosomes) and is revealing a story that seems to give the human family history in detail never dreamed of just a decade ago. We've been hunting for the real genes, those stretches of DNA that make our proteins or assist in regulating such genes. It turns out that those elements include a very small portion of the DNA we carry. i.atters, so could tell him little. The rest has long been said to But they did say there must be be "junk," meaning that we some relatives back in the Science & Society could find no real function for Midwest who would know it. But a portion of that now something. turns out to be "pseudogenes" John eventually located worthless. Discouraged, he ' some of these; they, too, generally were of little help. But one took only the wrapped Bible mutated, sometimes just parwith him. tial, copies of normal genes. aged aunt thought there had One recent count (see the been some family history in a In an idle moment some weeks later he chanced to look August 2006 Scientific Amerigrandmother's family Bible, but she had no idea where that at the newspapers protecting can) estimates that we have was. Further search led John the Bible and found therein the about 21,000 protein-codinto a decrepit, genes and 19,000 identified story he sought. They were farmhouse. Therein, in an from the small-townewspapseudogenes. But because ancient trunk covered with many pseudogenes are ancient per in the vicinity of the old and have numerous mutations dust, cobwebs and bird dung, farmhouse and as part of a that conceal their origin and he found Grandma's Bible, series featuring local families gave a detailed account of his identity, we fully expect that wrapped in a covering of old own extended grandparents 19,000 is a minimal inventory newspapers. It had her name and that more and more will and a few others but nothing and their history. What he of real history. be recognized. So let's get thought was virtually worthless turned out to be his perHe the Bible to acquainted with pseudogenes keep it clean from further dust sonal family gold. today and next time sample A similar story is unfolding more of what they can tell us. and examined the rest of the trunk's contents. They seemed in the analysis of the human Pseudogenes come in two Forgive me the following analogy, but it on real history experienced by an acquaintance of mine and serves to introduce today's topic. Suppose that John Johnson wanted to learn more of the early history of his family, but he had never known any of his grandparents. His parents had ever" cared much for family Duane Jeffery 1 g n D.C. fax: MISS MANNERS DEA 'Carolyn: messing with my mind. (All those stereomovies typical midlife-crisi- s suddenly make a lot more sense.)Being single with no prospects is really weighing on me. My suddenly mediocre job is weighing on me. Not being 20 is weighing on me. Please tell me turning 31 'is easier? Washington Wednesday. August 30. 2006 Everyone's invited to the party Live life openly, Dear HERALD , general types. We'll remember that a protein-codin- g gene, a stretch of DNA, manufactures (transcribes) a molecule of messenger RNA (mRNA), reflecting the sequence of DNA bases. But not all parts of the , mRNA are used; the cell snips out certain sections (introns) and discards them, and "translates" only the remaining portion into protein.. Usually the mRNA is subsequently degraded, but on occa- " sion it is into actual DNA and gets inserted into the chromosomes themselves. This gives rise to a "reverse-transcribed- "processed" pseudogene, easily identifiable by its sequence of bases and thereafter copied right along with the rest of the chromosome. The other, the type, results from slippages in the DNA replication process when a cell prepares for division extra sections of DNA, sometimes just parts of a gene, sometimes several genes long get replicated but then erroneously inserted into the new chromosomes. More next time. I Duane Jeffery is a professor of Zoology at Brigham Young University. 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