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Show a. bath Business: of course! quite as if oaDlt of bHPto bathe in at 'midnight, fully" elaOV-a- i I have no doubt Jt Is. "Bathing, Georger she said, after she bad greeted, me kissed me. jaiiid you! "Be tare to have a brisk yon torn In. And you con come Into the house now, Augiistu; SuMih has explained everything and i!,e chauffeur Is sleeping In the kltchi-n- . Susan has taken his room In tlie garage - teinporarily, I hope, but h a very comfortaJ)le room. You your servantsell, Augustus. It Is a. lovely trait." ' "Susan attends to the servants," I said reluctantly. Does she? She does everythlne well, doesn't she?" said George T!;!i Matrimonial Adventures : The Tenth ftlrs. Tulkington Professional BAKER, - BY and Counselors-at-Law. ttorneys EDis j. - DR. N. fal UTAH. PKOVO, ; H. NELSON- Parker Butler . h, tamUn," Rd t Head." "DaaabOa "Goat'a Dmu," Vaataara, "Philo Gmbb," "Pigs I "U Prnwn." ate. Hn' - Ooprrtaht fey thutad raatara fyndleata Lnow is onthe second 'flodT of the Pwvo - Meat & Ifacking Co. Buflduig, ' 55 a do not bUv ther ara many la this country who uxl mtirnlucUon W. aaerlaa- pictures. . , ; Special Representative THE BANKERS LIFE OF DES MOINES most conservative life insurance com of the erica. Information gladly furnished i iis AS Ppjalfqt jt. r lily-pon- frankly. Now T beg your pardon," I said;,"! thought you were my wife." i "Rather! l should think so!" George, said as he emerged and shook himself like a dog, "But It's not a nice way to treat a lady, Tulky s Is It bowT Wife drowning isn't done tn the best circles any more, you know. But, I say: Has It come to this, really? The little gray home n the West must V be off Its feed,.whatr Now, my home Is not gray and It Is not In the West; It js whlt marble and on Long Island; but I let that pass. George Tltbers had in his silly wayput bit finger on the exact fact; our home was "oft its feed," ashe chose to say, and. entirely off Its feed. I made George remain where he was while I explained the matter fully and the end of to Its least detalL-Towa- rd' the first' half hour, as the night grew chilly, his teeth began to chaiter and little.. later he sneesed many times, with gradually Increasing -- violence, but he listened patiently. This deepened my thought that Georse and his IS le limn V Gettogtartk:isAhi of. hardest part doin;" any--. is easy to let things slide. The trouble." tomorrow never comes. It t To own yoiir own home means gratxfyinir indeuend- - wife must be dead broke even e again, but I was glad to. have brother-in-lahear the e truth about Susan and myself. That truth was that after twenty years of married life w hated each other. As LJL.inatterjfJPact the reason I was on the marble, bench ny tne midnight "wat because "I; had told spend an 8usan would her" roof"with eame the under hour and that tomorrow we would 1 but Immediate preparations for A separation and divorce. I had meant to spend the night on" that mar " ble bench. ?: ' , between exclaimed aayr? George, neetea, when I had concluded. "The little old trouble has become quite a precious happiness . : to see us today think of We can help you your plan florae and eave you money. it uiy-po- J li m 1 . '" Phone 357. Yard: 72 W. 5th South. . snorter, what? Jolly full time the doctor was called, yest Arrived In the. nick of time, dldnt I Tulky.? And, I ensconce myself jsay, oo yon mlnd.lf I In the pool a bit? The water, seems , a oil warmi-- r imiu The ldIot.:i di" believe;' would bat gone back lnti the fKlTbnCIh,rrtT' clous wife of his came ont Wtlng tor him, She seemed, to take htoJllMMsV. ' t . HavTYw Tried MUTUAL "'KnCoattj J?eYgain bedn-teeml- Coal & Lumber s w dead-brok- Come Company .,a Ger A PRODUCT OF ' NATURE. Designed for the Improvement of Health and ' of Life,. the Extension ' USE IT FREELY IT MAKES THE CHILDREN GROW. CHERRY HILL DAIRY Use the Herald's Want Ads That Graduation Picture (WAtrna-u- ST7Smsrssmmc particular attention, to graduates for graduation is an important epoch in pictures, woman. of a life the young man We pay 11 tr j Vf. I. while-yo- w. Mn'iU. ' lily-po- for you. M J " fTT tT re banker.fl1" My only excuse for throwing George Room 7, Knight BIdg, Provo, at midnight Titters Into the la that I thought lie was my wife Utah. Phone 661-- L Susan. As a president of a bank and a highly respected and weighty cltlI most seriously object to being ten DR. H. F. CANNON called "Baldy," and I particularly ob- ioct to being slappejgally on the top frlentlffr Vtfenlghj of my head with an openTband. Over Irvine's Store. hand. And I bePhone 555. Provot Utah. any other kind lieved this Titters person my wife's brother, Fm ashamed to say was In Borope. Naturally, then, when I had been dreaming that my wife was NEW YORK LIFE COMPANY standing above me In a divorce court, denouncing me to the judge, and declaring that even the sight of my bald head had come to be nauseating to Phone 307J. her, my first thought when I felt the slap on the head and heard, "What PROVO TYPEWRITER was that Susan was atbo, Baldy EXCHANGE tacking me. In an instant I bad K reaped from the marble bench and had Geo. E. Brattan, Manaeer Typewriters Remired. Rouehr grappled with my attacker. George and Sold. Repairto a SoedaJtyrt mtte 0166 ont a moment too late, for I bad already given a mighty heave All Work Guaranteed. " and bad thrown him full length Into Phone 207-As my mistake became . the apparent to me as I saw George Tlthers coming out of the on his hands and knees, I apologized ; J? was,, e, ( ence,-econo- :S whUe "f tofni ot ion in their Jlsgustlngt; familiar parts 4. r Af Phone 384, Columbia Theater. ELECTRICAL CONTRACTING Jobs Figured Anywhere, Any Time, Without Charge, ls All Work Guaranteed. Used. Best Quality-Materia- j Attorney-at-La- w hing. Susai fJV of honorable Tnlklngtos and Mrs. Augustus Tulkington.' what? If. not a wonder you want adlvorce; SL a wonder you don't murde swj T"? uie Mfied for me to be a Winston Bop other" After a few Amelia Tlthers was looking at me !.ile, lady killer and flirt wnlngs of coaching by George Tlthers th..niFhtfiiiir was 8U -- Yn ild le able to carry my -- o "but you might wear a wig jjcca--l Bopple role In a manner that would not cause1" Susan the tvast monotony. slonally." Two or three of the ladles in our "What bo, year cried Tlthers, Jumpsummer secuied quite willing to ing from his chair excitedly. "When assist mecolony In giving the part verlslmllU He stages himself as the Conceited tnde. . Elderly Ass, what? A toupee, what? When Susan arrived she gave me one And white spats ! And a monocle? No, kiss and hurried to her room, but not a monocle. A monocle can't be Auiellu Tlthers paused a moment. . ... done." erswJfe.., "You'U be surprised I", she whispered. I might have said. In reply to tli it. It But It was doner-was not acom-plet- e "Susan is doing it so wonderfully I "Too confounded well!" hut I did n..t success, It would not stick In ray And our little practice trip came off II." I but a from It eye. and dangled You'll never again, think splendidly. The trouble." said George when he learned to swing It around string my fore- of Susan aa a ntnrtgy, stupid marrled-old-thtn-g had TKrared hbiiself a finger quite well. ExceedlnywelCT -Tou Just ..sort of. person. "Is that .Susan Is a wife in a million. may say. waltr HI say In eight million. Ton told her III When Susan came down to dinner I she -ttHonrn't-ywit-ol- d AsanythUig seemed preferable-- o was indeed surprised.- - I turned from when top, you were a newly-wed?- " divorce, Susan and L after thorough Amelia Tlthers, with whom I bad been "None of your business !" I growled. consideration of the matter in corn- Antrim n VAtt tA' Alssf ssmI "Ah I He confesses!" said George pany wia Ttthers. "And now, Gussle, me lad, agreed to appoint George and Amelia Such abundance of long earrings I because she Is Just that a wife In a stage managers of our married life breathed Amelia "Tle vampire-type!- " M!lIon wives .exactly .like her-yand I allowed there a liberal compen- Tlthers. "Doesn't she do It welir are sore. What? Bored I Biting the" sation. , She dldl For a few September days old. fingernails with ennui I Dead sick George and Amelia decided, that It did try to flirt with some of pur of dear old Sue, and dear old So dead would be best for George to.be my persick of nice old Gustusl The trouble sonal manager while Amelia managed female neighbors, but before a week was up I found I had enough to do In with you and Sue, me lad. Is that you Susan. I agreed to everything In adlove to Susan and In trying to need a couple of vance, but I was surprised when making crowd between her and the men Who . That's me with a ot sheet George presented emed to take her --masquerading In trounie jSumber Two. bangs on it paper at the top of which he had writ-- " earnest. We had'one row, with Susan " both . natural ,blgamlsts ten "Cast of Characters.". you're On this In slithy the sheet were written six varieties of hus"Stop right there!" I cried. chaise longue, when I told her what "Like all of us! Ll:e all of usl bands: all men of my acquaintance, I thought of her . conduct and she said George. and no two alike. At the bead of the attention to mine, but We kissed "Not another word!" exclelmed. list was written "January Self, pros culled and made up like young lovers.. The . And banker."exceefllngly angry. this, following perous next minute she was vamping - old "Whoa up George said then. "Stop was "February H. P. club-- " I here! The boss says stop. We're man, heavy spoit." and "March Wim Horatio. . Peabody, the silly old fool And I hnd to make eyes "at his stuffy so through. Amelia. I only meant to tell stpn Bopple, flirt, It was, "Inhim of Lord Algy and Lady Mercedes, on down to "JuneCarey S. Flick, con- - old wife In deed," a hasty and hectic month, as but he says 'stop !' and we stop ;v . reuru eiurnjr iuwi, civ. said Lord Algy and Lady Mercedes !" again to be "Self, posperous "Thank Heaven,"-t-sni- d to George, exclaimed George's' wife. "The hapAnd so on for the second six months. on the Inst day of September, "this two the" I was was As Such a month piest people! nofc August happy pair!" Is over. I hope Kiisnn is to be to be, not myself, but s persbnresem- - month "Always marrying! Always marry something respectable In October" and gay. tvlmt?" blfng as nearly as possible H. T.xDIg-gleto"I say, you know !" George exclaimed. . For the jnonth of August 'Su; The poor wretch laughed heartily at his miserable pun. san was to hstve as her husband not "You "don't 'know that wife ..of ..mine. So cheery and happy! Always myself but. to all Intents and purposes, Ki"id olng, what? Always a little what? Spread a bit mure each other and marrying some8ome,-on- e equivalent to H. P. Dlggle-ton- . Jill and each other body else, George "Tlthers 'saw'" that I was sail tM's her motto !f you get me." marrying "You nieato tdl me " I gasped; with manners and agnln so gayly!" exclaimed Amelia. fully equipped "Because a man gefs tired of the habits; when he conldbotbesure what "Well. r:itli-4- " exclaimed Geiirge dear old wife after twenty years, even H. P. Dlggleton would do he invented TitlierS. "fpttanSsdml onward, so to v If she Is my sister," said George. something new for me' to do Instead. X r spe:!k" "And of the, dear old reliable hus- I admit that as the day approached lie was rlf.'1't ; Amelia nlut have told o band, eyen if he is the most respect"when-i-wa- B to become a4rncxically iiiiu. ell euucateu is able old haldy,K said Amelia. new and unknown husband to Susan I not just sure she has marriSTThlF "Especially If he Is the same deifr became keenly excited. This was not right mini," was what Amelia haclcast old reliable husband," George correct because I was to be another man but Susan foLjpjQctterJt was with tlieS ed her. . "It's the blessed routine that because I knew I was to have In Susan greatest uuncuuy mat i was anie to an entirely new wife. I had never maintain my role of a man who re warps 'em, don't you think?" ather!" said Amelia .heartily. been so interested in anything In my gretted his past and w "It's like being married to the bally life. When the thirteen trunks, con- solace in good booksold Westminster Abbey, wbatr said taining the thirteen complete sets of hard for me-t- o sit wl George. "Act of parliament needed to costumes Susan was to wear tn her ume of Henry Hsino permit even the riotous. Innovation of thirteen impersonations came into the making merry with li a new tombstone. Not a new hair on house and were carried to the store- less nooares wnue room I actually trembled with excite- practically .an Incite In thirteen years! Not Old Bald-Toe out of dear old ment as I saw them and noticed the levity. a Susie since the wedding .bells !" "It has been a lov huge white numerals painted on their cried irritably, for he sides. I say thirteen' trunks because said at Its close. '1 "Stop it!" was patting the top of my head, the Amelia Tlthers had decided .that, hope you're to be soi month by month, Susan should be thir- November. I'm to b silly donkey. "Leave my bead alone! "What?" I snarlei What about this Lord Algy and this teen women. She felt that Susan, being a woman, was equal to the task, snarled, Lady Mercedes if you must talk?" and by Jetting Susan be. a different "Walt and see!' "Oh, they're Just .The next evenln, gay little marrlers, kugustus" I" George woman each month for thirteen months said. "Tired of oneVlfe, get another ; while I ran, so to speak, In a cycle of from my hank and tired of one husband, get another. It's but six months. It would be many years' Into s chair and s done In their circle. A man does get before the same husband could have. who had never.' use tired of the same old wife. Routine tlie same wife.- If, for example, Susan It too, too abandon stuff, If you get me. Deadly monotony, should be Mary P. Miller In August to can only describe Sick of the sight' of her; hate my H.' P. Diggleton, there would' be even Mrs. Hlnterbei no danger that she would be Mary P. Is practically the her whatr Miller to my H. P. Diggleton the next' hesitated to wear li said Amelia in us," "It's placidly. because If Mary P. Miller was August "Like the count "The bigamy thing, I mean.' Any man came again Amelia Tltbers who can afford It and. Is not restrained wife No. 1, when August No. 13, and the be wife would Susan "Chic, yesr by convention or bis ethics hops about next 'August she would be wife No; 12. a bit ; has a variety. King Solomon, I shuddered. I aswas continuous a Thus novelty the sultan. Henry Eighth, Lord Byron. countess of Duxmln sured. V And Tlthy, here." gave the notorious On Nthe glorious August- - morning "In a way of speaking," said Tlthers lost thirty thdvsa when onr experiment was to begm I and then bet H modestly. on raised onr and opeiied eyes myself ! ?And myself, Tlthy," eald Amelia. a last look for lost And this was "In a way of speaking, as you remark, my elbow to take Amelia Tlthers' m twelve months at the old Susan more bit darling.. And Cleopatra, and the queen sail,' She' was' not there. I Tulkington. of Sheba by all accounts." more' impersonate bathed hurried and bedV front "Now, stop this nonsense !" I sal'd. leaped I closed my eyes into tlie .clothes George Tlthers bad "Ton know, both of you,, that you do bannisters. stair my. Diggleton Impersonannrwtr flnnr f dndiri not run about after other men and supplied for tion and hastened down Stairs. women" led to the storero; "Your wife?" Amelia Tlthers said ."Well, rather not!" cried George, not eee your "He don't get us, Amelia ; he's s bit pleasantly. "Oh, youll was not there"; wife this month at all I She Is, this . dense: Tell him." san's boudoir. Fo who ladies of one the gaddy before trunk Nu "Marriage," said Amelia, "is almost 1 month, sumW husbands the ever a failure; married life Is. Mar- - fly from their so were mer. Susan has gone to Newport locked; .age Is the first Joining oTtwo people thence she Alaska. You con hand on the lid a to. goes together, and Jolly sport t is with, tne expect her as the second Mrs. Tulking- all. I could guess trunk Number 6, getting acquainted Intimately, rubbing ton on or about the first of September sharp points together, and all Some-th-in' 'I can assert that Susan and I did kfiow the worst lnterestltf all the while, - what? 13. that August In fact I Number And theaninrfew- - years five, maybe, not quarrel trust I k Now, for as and loved never Susan longed or ten, or twenty comes married life; I did not dare ' as I did toward the end of thut the routine stuff. Awful bore, some truly A dozen trunk.I wasted, so to speak, my II; month. times; same old wife; same old hus- P. breath and a do: Diggleton role on the desert air, but band sameVlil wy and everything I trunk me George Tlthers kept spurred to the I turned to, Nothing newi They get Jolly well sick role and I am sure t did well. 1 .made ber 11. of each other.Wd no wonder." "Augustus." I n nt nil mv clubs and I did efilov "A man a man with a business to I played more auction "bridge manUractthls them. attend to in'tybe running around than In aU my previous life. I threw open divorcing his wlfffv every day or so." I "Gus." one' of my friends said. "I containing what said. know you I You're like a dlf-- the tenth Mrs. jirU.kj.ta mm f AVjrttaf majf lAfvtxrsh hardly MhjLlrunk. seemed Tlthers. "He'd be doing nothing ' else; I a few red artlflcl "were getting- stupid and but you It, Ncard the right that's not the ridit were In the 'old hay, lumped In of getting you stodgy card Is to mnrrf UTe wholelot at the The family man' rut. Well, bid 'era up; lifted these; , If yon get me.? first Jump-tiffin the trunk I Tl bid 'em up!" x' .. "I aflnxM'suMirtoAlooked, at them, a ""'I met' toward the end of August: "Too did Itv though." aidAme!la., banker from Nome. He had met wrea they were Susan did It too. It's with a laugh." hay was sewed at Portland.- -" a por silck of a womnn that Isn't a wife I" he satd enthusiasttcai. There was extrerl poor stick of a doK.it wmiien,: and tores of Hawaii ' "Some lively, lady, Mr. Tulkingly; hnlf mnhthnt f Islands flashed on .nt'g.V shows how folks ton! can be Just broke In. mean." nvi-n- t on a san .Snsnn mlstaken-Henr- y Totter,. who was' ! iiite-H(i' v" dowii here last year, said your lady agination 1 cbui ViviJTifliTy was one oft the beach and these house-brokladles, one of 0 nice old family persons. "Oh. I felt sick mi(l ' !?o tlii ' ". boy!". .. Hii:t 'It was with awaited Susans return In BeptoT; r ABE W. TURNER -.- tB,,f V . CLARENCE RASMUSSEN L Augustus Tulklng- - s . stage-manager- s. ft managed TblklngtoS and Mi ! -- H baa lectured, too, la all parts of th tinned Bute ana Is. per bap, beat known aa oa of our most popular humorists, though he writ notion of a sertoos and tatereatin- - nature,, also. He says . h Is on of th few American writer who did not bagin his liter-' ary warning on a nawspaper. H was bora In Muscatine, la., ( and want East about K years ago. He I Terr modest about himself. It Is difficult to bin to tell you enythlns, 1ut I anally- - did extract that be Is marrted-a- ad thus fully qualified to writ for th Star Author Series of Matrimonial Adven. turee-h- aa tour children, two of ' whom are and that when he twins; la not writing-- he would Uk to be flshhif; and.that h la much Interested In the cultivation of tulips. Touhave an understanding when you are talking to him of the great popularity of his work, for he sees the little, kindly, human points of we in a numorous way that never uLwlth such .amazing in sight, too. He Is constructively entertaining. ("The Tenth Mrs. Tulkington" Is aThrhorous story yesrbut hasn't it a serious eldeT MART STEWART CUTTING, JR il One ' "Twentieth year of a to IOU farkar I wwi whom nrst nun arnvaa .wtt a Uttit rforr eeuad "Pin ia -fat steadily avar sine with m I boou, wort (tortea and - Phone 467 863-- m :r - .ELLIS PARKER BUTLER- -.. EDITORIALLY SPEAKING . Phone - twenty long years. r. jfajj'., Popl N. Univ. Ave. ... ' Aithot M q Iarobaior Bafcy" a Qa hmiem CbMf. Daddy," "Tba Lections and 'Adjustments aa a matter w 0 y GILLESPIE & PETERS 94 North Feurth West. "' snow-gi'.wh- p new-styl- hlc-cou- l n ln - i f - .v-r-T . . T'te tivtjtii! fj, ;'Jllf7''" ,- - - e- I !(! ' i ' (Continued Phone 741. J, W. r Peters. Phone 424-- R. L. Gillespie. |