Show THE LADY CASHIER yes sir yon may by inspecting the time sheet in my office see that for twenty years I 1 have never been one minute late and yet libay and believe that punctuality is an execrable vice who does not despise the man who always arrives on time appearing just when one is trying to finish some occupation and watch in hand saying blandly am I 1 not punctual yes bir after serving aa a regulator for all the clocks in my neighborhood for twenty years I 1 repeat punctuality is execrable I 1 am cured of it for it was the cause of the greatest disappointment of my ufa listen and judge for yourself for beven long years 1 had breakfasted at one restaurant every morning at exactly five minutes past 11 I 1 opened the door and at precisely five minutes before noon I 1 closed it it is useless to describe the lady cashier suffice it to say that from the instant I 1 tasted my first cup of coffee in that restaurant she reigned in my heart did my glances express my feelings I 1 cannot say but 1 know that for seven years we loved in silence it took just that length of time for me to get near enough to speak to her as 1 had to work my way from bablo no 7 which 1 first occupied up to table no 1 which stood next to the cashiers desk 1 was too punctual to arrive an instant earlier at the restaurant than the six other guests and as they were as exact as 11 was obliged to employ strategy to dislodge them tho first man at table no 0 was easily disposed of while waiting to be served 1 amused myself in cutting corks and the bound beet his on edge and annoyed him so much that he went into the nest room and I 1 took his place six months after chance came to my aid and relieved me of no 5 A waiter broke a goblet and spilled coffee on the table and the occupant being superstitious insisted on changing his seat BO I 1 moved up again in the course of the next two meals 1 succeeded in making myself obnoxious to no 4 who had a habit of taking a little nap immediately after his breakfast I 1 contrived by tilting my chair to knock his repeatedly so that at last ho got up and left in a fury no 3 bield out only one day against mo I 1 made bread and butter black with cavizo e and soaked it in my coffee and the sight of the mess made my neighbor so sick that he fled precipitately and hardly had timo to get out of the room thea I 1 sat aest to no 2 ah I 1 shall never forget that danl it took me four years to get rid of him and but for tha encouraging glances of my angel 1 should have gi en up in despair perhaps you wonder why I 1 did not come to breakfast two hours earlier when 1 would have had my choice of tables that would have been a simple matter to most men but I 1 was a victim to the folly of punctuality to return to no 2 I 1 tried cork cutting putting caviale in my coffee and dancing about on my chair but it va all in vain then I 1 discovered that the man was stone deaf besides being blind in one eye 1 decided therefore to attack him through his pocket and accordingly I 1 made a practice of surreptitiously putting cups glasses and decanters close to his elbow on the blind side and he invariably knocked them down and had to pay damages every day there was a heap of broken glass and china on the floor between ua and every day he paid the cost uncomplainingly the restaurant keeper profited largely by these accidents for he had the afflicted guest served with cracked and broken ware and charged him the price of new on its being demolished at the end of four years no 8 had destroyed as much table ware as would suffice to set up in housekeeping all the savages of Oc canica those people who have so few luxuries that one pair of gloves is sufficient to make clothes for ten men poor no 21 I 1 pity him now for 1 have learned that the reason bo clung to his post was that he too adored 3 lady cashier I 1 had no mercy on him however and being at the end of my resources had resolved to put the police on his track when he was one day knocked down and killed by one of those butchers wagons which are allowed 1 know not why to rush through paris streets at full speed the next morning 1 seated myself at table no 3 where although not quite within the promised land 1 enjoyed its delicious I 1 breathed the odor of the orange flower water which sho poured into hideous little euion shaped bottles only one obstacle now separated me from her my beloved it was no 1 1 determined to crush him and from that day war was declared between us he was a terrible man formerly a captain of gendarmes gen darmes strong as a turk with heavy beard cind mustache there was a certain amount of gallantry and sentiment however under his rough exterior for he used to fix bis great eyes upon tho lady cashier and repeat hour after hour these words 1 am like the ivy 1 die where I 1 attach myself the prospect did not console me in the le et for he looked as if he would live to be a hundred I 1 tried to win the monster by relating amusing and making puns but he suddenly dampened my ardor by saying as be twisted hia mustache fiercely are yon not aware sir that it was owing to bis wasting time in making puns that grouchy arrived too late at waterloo this piece of historical information astonished me not a little and I 1 felt that if france could mislay her code for twenty four hours 1 would joyfully stab the terrible captain in the back at last heaven took pity on me and my love and sent an epidemic sickness which carried off my rival immediately I 1 installed myself at table no 1 1 was nest to her I 1 contemplated tem plated her charming figure above the desk her blond hair her rosebud seven years had indeed made some alterations in her charms ant 1 saw her only with the eyes 0 that first cap of coffee I 1 cannot describe our mutual emotions at that moment so long waited for joy nearly suffocated 09 and turned our brains 1 dipped my napkin into the decanter and poured coffee into my pocketbook while she piled up sous on plates and dropped lumps of sugar into the money drawer only a few words needed to bind ua to each other and no one else in the room suspected anything when affect in to be reading the batters name in tide my hat I 1 murmured from the depths of the lining 1 love thee she while apparently busy in drying a punch bowl replied 1 love thee be my wife I 1 added Tomo wow at my at thirty fiva minutes past 9 tho next morning at the minute agreed on 1 was with my nota while lie prepared the papers J tried to describe luy beloved 1 s yon will see barr I 1 cried fan aa acs stasy he ia biond blender bhe harthe hand of a and tha throat of a god dessl for seven lou J yean 1 have loved her suddenly ane notary asked in a careless I 1 tone Is she short or tall this simple question overwhelmed me and I 1 could only answer 1 do not know he exclaimed you have loved her for seven years and you do not know whether she is short or tall it is the solemn troth I 1 have never seen ner except in the restaurant 1 am so exact and punctual that 1 b vo never been able to devota any tin to her except at my breakfast hoar at is from five minutes past 11 to five minutes before noon and all that time she is seated behind a desk so that I 1 hava never seen lower than her waist As L finished speaking the door opened and my bride appeared with a cryor dismay I 1 fell unconscious the beloved of my heart the angel of my dreams was the possessor of two wooden legs translated from the french of eugene chavette for epoch by isabel smithson |