Show AND HUMBUGS ODDITIES THE ODDITIES AND HUMBUGS OF CHAPTER II BENEVOLENT HUMBUGS TUB BODG-EFAMILY "With a “birds-ey- e view ” we have scanned some of the public characters and institutions of society and found them distressingly anxious in some form or other to he offered lip for public good Iii confirmation of this view— so cheering to philanthropists generally — Quiz hastes to present a few personal illustrations The class he wishes now to presents are however that kind who exert their benevolent propensities not so much in the meeting of “ public wants” as in yielding to the irrepressible tendento chitectural proportions four posts in miscellaneous positions and then covering the spaces between with' laths places crossways in a diamond form the whole being in- tended to convey to the mind of the spectator the idea of a summer house of sumptuously beautiful proportion and illimitable decoration As might be naturally supposed —in fact precisely as Quiz supposed — the fame of so much genius spread in various directions So many were the eulogies that were visited on bis wonderful in- genuity that lie found it necessary to seriously contemplate on what terms when lie grew up the world at large might expect to have the benefit of so much skill and ability Doctor David Bodgers was at that time among his admirers He had a sweet way of sitting down by Quiz’s side' and patting his head and saying' lie was a very smart boy indeed only he He ought to practice further would like to see a boy of his abilities try something on a larger scale He had a garden that ho would let him operate upon— and charge him nothing He might come when he liked and then he could see his ( Bodge r&’) trees and his hooks He had a “splendid new plane” too he would let him use ! (think of that) and lie wanted badly to give him a glass of ginger beer ! Invited to so much glory he went enthusiastically of course and found the small job for which he was to receive two pennyworth of beer a trifling item of about 'three weeks duration— merely the lining all Dodgers’ garden walks with various sized strips of wood designed — to the ignorant and unenlightened mind — to represent borders of various formations Quiz remembers well how he accomplished this job how lie was sick of it long before he was through — how he wanted to give it tip and couldn’t — Bodgers kept hunt up for their distinguished patronage and care whom it is the special business of their lives to “bring out” alongside of which delightful peculiarity they gener-all- y possess a fertile genius the strength of which is generally devoted to the search for objects on which to use the unemployed labor and talent they find wasting around them This they persist in doing regardless of the loss they must personally sustain in the neglect of their own more precious abilities They sweetly pass along simply devoted to the “bringing out” of other people Wliat if they gen- erally discover that the best way to develop talent is to employ it on some trifling necessities of tlieir own I It is simply an illustration of the profusion with which excellencies arc crowded into some natures They possess in graceful union the qualities requisite for developing talent and Wisely using it at the satire tiiHe For the first illustration of these beneficent specimens of humanity as in the case of the meetersof “great public wants Quiz goes back to his earliest impressions He remembers in those distant times among other abilities— which it is of course entirely itniieccssary for him to say he possessed in variety — the possession of highly finished taste in carpentry It may be as well to add hefe—as the rage for building in these parts is strong — that lie don’t like the “ taste ” now so no one need call on him on that account ! hut lie remembers when the taste teas strong on him tliat on sundry occasions and under tlie impression that he was adding to the splendor of tlie universe generally he produced in a style the beauty of which it is utterly useless for him to attempt BY to describe a variety of highly useful articles Particularly does he remember producing in unimaginable perfection a rain water -- but lid a Stool with three legs and of unheard of dimena rolling-pi- n sions He also remembers about the same time rearing in strict ar- LITE cy of their natures OT LITE -- ! ! -- se praising ' him so much how he re- ceived his glass of ginger beer and how he left at last overwhelmed with glory of course and the conviction that he was — “sold” and how he ever after treasured up Doctor David Bod- - tfc QUiZ4 i I'? o gers in his heart of hearts as V' humbug No 1 The above afTecting' circumstances were not Quiz’s last experilie ha ence with Dr Bodgers a painfnlly clear recollection of a vast number1 of small jobs into which lie was decoyed by the same worthv Whenever in later years Bodgers grew conversa tional or closely confidential or requested him to help himself to a peppermint drop from one of his glasses lie1 knew what was coming As sure as death If he accepted the peppermint drop was he’ “gone under” and could-nmore refuse Bodgers anything after that than if Bodgers and interesting family had all died on his account Hence when he saw a sweet smile on Bodgers face and heard him begin “ my dear hoy I’m sure you must be tired Do come into my study and sit down” a faintness of spirit always came over him And furthermore when Bodgers with a delicate allusion to his superior judgment put a pencil into his hand and asked him to give a mere sketch — anything would do the best possible form for a new room over Bodgers’ study-- — to be approached in some frightfully unnatural manner— through a coal cellar and over a larder and under a passage — a clean whole days work at least1 like lamb he went to the slaughter— but unlike a lamb — he vowed to write the natural history of all ther Bodgers before he died Strong as is his wish to fulfil this sin' gularly pious determination present moment — this1 brief illustration of the Bodger-familmust suffice for the present They will be easily recognized when' we say that cheap benevolence in fact— ‘peppermint drop’ benevolence — is their motto ! Getting work' for nothing— thoughts for nothing ideas for nothing and doing it all as men that confer a favor is their speciality 'Be-hold them in their benevolence? They stand ready at a moments warning to employ all the unused labor of ability of the world in their service without troubling the owners thereof with the small- est consideration in the way of And mark you this special pay beauty of the Bodger family — you shall never work for them in the least degree unpaid as of course you will they will convince yon that yon are most specially and mightily minister ing to your own glory and happiness thereby f f ' n ft ‘j i ' It of at-thi- ’ t (TO BF J COMlM'£l) ' |