Show 80 THE PEEP 0’ DAT— A LITERARY MAGAZINE x mysterious label was written the “ Better Felt than exinscription n pressed and this mysterious medicine bottle on which was the mysterious label bearing the mysterious inscription Uncle Jacob kissed a leetle more ardently than his doctor would have reccomih ended in the feverish state of his brain The poultice would have been the thing but Uncle Jacob didn’t apply it and in ten minutes more he was carried to his bed altogether over- come by the catastrophy on his birthday— stricken down by it like a tender plant As they carried him to his bed he from time to time murmured in broken accents with such touching and agonizing pathos that melted his friends to tears : “ I knew Happen ! Something dreadful My birthday ! The Elephant Conversion ! On my birthday! Dreadful!” ! ! ! CHAPTER VL v UNCLE JACOB’S VISION DEVILS v OF BLUE The next day Uncle Jacob had of a host of little blue devils dancing mockingly before him whom h declared had unques- tionably been made mad at the re- generation of the wealthy Gilder But Uncle Jacob protestedstrongly against iblue devils making him responsible for such funnily convul-'Biy- e births of new critters because He they happen on his birth-da- y protested this with burning elo-- quence so intense from the warmth of its inspiration that he iwound a wet towel around his head and : looked the picture of a turbaned (Turk He is quite certain of his r philosophy of tlie cause of his vis- ion of blue devils and supports his case with this powerful argu- ment : “ If there was more joy over the repentance- of that one sinner than over any quantity of just per-- ! sons in Utah who needed no repentance would not therefore all the blue devils on the 'opposition side be deucedly mad gracious !” Un-- f f( t“But goodness cle Jacob exclaimed — rand lie turn-- ’ ed pale at the thought — “ jgooducss gracious there is sucli a’ tarnation lot of such new critters born around us !” Thus ends this fearful tragedy Uncle Jacobis future philosophizings oh funny things in gepcral will be presented from time to time : — L— — a vision' As the diamond is found in the dark- ness of the mine as the lightning shoots with most vivid dashes from the gloom iest cloud so does mirthfulncss frequently proceed from a heart susceptible of the deopost melancholy I AMATEURS GUIDE TO THE STAGE IMPORTANT TO DRAMATIC ASSOCIATIONS- tlie tlicatre at night before acting or her face before making up the face any further Hero is a revelation worth a quarters subscription to this paper Would any of the association have thought this was the direct road to “making up tlie face” if this pamphlet had never been brought to light 1 certainly not and yet this number will come out at tlie usual price ! And how does our pamphlet go on to make up the face to completion We shall need a powder-pu- ff a mixture of carmine and some Chinese Vermillion boiled in milk This must be suffered to dry and then he smeared on tlie face with a hare’s foot If tlie characters to be represented has to appear with a moustache and whiskers hair madoof crape has next to be glued — glued to the cheeks and upper lip If the personage is to be a Moor or a Negro lard (no matter the present price) is to be daubed over tlie actor’s face — we suppose the washing is necessary in some cases to make the lard stick — and then Spanish brown or burnt cork is to he daubed over the lard Nobody’s face is “made up” — let it be widely circulated — till it is washed powdered puffed painted and lard-e- d to wash his ! With a generosity unequalled in any times 0that we are acquainted with we are about to lay bare the secret principles upon which fame and distinction can be easily won in the above honorable and lucrative profession We have discovered 'these 'principles (so long secret) in a work under the above title published some few years back in England Now we never have been connected with the theatrical world in past time but we do expect— so new and startling are the ideas which we are about to advance— that ever after the publication of this paper the eminent and distinguished of the aforesaid world will David we greet us as brethren expect will take us to his heart of hearts 'Joseph we fondly trust will become perfectly oblivious on the subject of taxes whilst John T will rise up and call us blessed The pamphlet to which we refer is dated 1S58 and is entitled the “ Amateurs Guide to the Stage or : how to become theatrical” It professes to point out the shortest cut to eminence and distinction in this pleasant profession describing all the points in love grief despair madness jealousy revenge tyranny humility and joy with all the varied phases of villainy or hvpoc-rac- y likely to occur on the stage Here let us say we are not the first who has attempted to ‘bring the invaluable contents of this important publication before the world The conductor of All ihe Year Hound once read this same pam- phlet but being of a delicate constitution and rather of a nervous turn of mind he was so horrified by what he supposed to be the suf- ferings imposed upon actors and actresses that lie immediately published an article calling upon the Lord Chancellor of England to shut up all the theatres Not so with us We know actors and actresses to be a class willing to suffer for the benefit of their fellow creatures Besides eminence and distinction arc worth some suffering — so we proceed t At the ninth pago of this work the business of the stage is unfolded in one of the divisions entitled Making up the Face” And how is tlie face to be ‘‘made up” ask On the authority of this you pamphlet wo reply that it is the business of every one on entering ! t t Xo wonder actors need ap- If we had plause to sustain them our face washed painted larded puffed and powdered and folk a wouldn't applaud us then we’d ' give ‘up the business in despair And now we will unfold the triie “methods for ‘expressing anger or The writer iii All the Year rage Bound says at this point : “ Persons who may not have prepared themselves for what is how to come by reading past disclosures in connection with slaves and cjimbing hoys are strongly recommended t not to follow any further with tbo perusal of this article” But" as wo are writing to firm minded men and women we shall proceed 'SYq copy literally “Rage or Anger expresses itself with rapidity interruption rant harshness and trepidation The neck is stretched out the head forward often nodding and shaken in a menacing manner against the object of the passion the eyes alternately storing and rolling the eyebrows drawn down over them and the forehead wrinkled into clouds the nostrils stretched wide and every muscle stiain-e- d the breast heaving and the breath fetched hard the mouth open' and drawn on each side towards the ears showing the teeth in a gnashing posture the feet often stamping the right arm frequently thrown out: and menacing with the clenched fist shaken and a general and violent agitation of the wTole body” Here then the rbatl is clear Do you want to express rage stretch out vvour neck ' and nod your head |