| OCR Text |
Show Page A10 Thursday, January 7, 1 988 Park Record MF W v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v3 ESimcbw i i i i if L" im iiiJf BY RICK BROUGII HI vote to that! Once again, the Utah State Legislature is in session and Whaddyaknow has obtained an advance look at some of the bills proposed for this session. Senate Bill 42: A proposal to allow mini-bottles to be brought to restaurant tables by customers, rather than by waitresses. SB 43: A proposal to allow actual liquor to be put in the mini-bottles brought to restaurant tables by customers. SB 44: A proposal to allow that, once a mini-bottle containing actual liquor is brought to restaurants tables by customers, that said bottle may be opened. SB 45: Stipulating that once mini-bottles containing actual liquor are brought to tables by customers and opened that they can be swallowed. (Note: It is not known what the Church's position may be on this. Said one veteran observer, "It could be they don't want to move this fast this soon," he said. HR 445: A law prohibiting guys with shiny new pickup pick-up trucks from parking their rigs across twoi parking spaces so no one other vehicle can possibly dent them. The punishment for this will be death. If the vehicle owner parks his truck across three parking spaces, and extra 20 years will be added onto the sentence. SB 521: Sweeps Week Protection Act. A law prohibiting pro-hibiting television stations from running three blockbuster programs all opposite each. The fault here really lies with the networks, but until national legislation legisla-tion is passed, this bill will apply to local affiliates. The bill provides that when three major programs are on at the same time, at least one affiliate will postpone its program till later in the week. The afffiliate to do so will be chosen by a draw of the straws. SB 522: Sweeps Week Protection Act. Also providing that local TV news programs will not do a series on "Lingerie of the Network Anchorwomen" or any program pro-gram similar thereto. HR 335: A bill calling for incoporated cities and counties coun-ties to name an Official Scapegoat. When major screw-ups screw-ups are committed by elected by officials fault can be laid on the Official Scapegoat, which will avoid time- wasting recriminations and analysis. The Scapegoat will not be elected or appointed, since this would imply that someone is responsible for him. Citizens will be forced to enter a lottery, and the Scapegoat will be picked from this drawing. SB 428: All of Utah will be organized into one school district. Thus, consolidation will be brought about and we will save grundles of money. However, divisions of the state will be organized into sub-districts. For instance, in-stance, in this county we will have the Park City Sub-District. Sub-District. HR 666: Ice-cream parlors and candy counters will be closed on Election Day. This will prevent susceptible Utahns from voting under the influence of a sugar rush. HR 475: the Construction Delay Entertainment Act. A bill providing that when motorists are backed up on the highway due to construction, they will be provided with Muzak to pass the time. Construction companies must provide an easy-listenin' orchestra on location or ghettto-blasters placed at proper locations. SB 661: A bill providing that during pledge drives, public television stations cannot interrupt programs more than five times an hour to ask for money. SB 278: A bill allowing malls to incorporate as cities, with their own police force, fire departments and anthem. an-them. Under this new city-store system, any mall kids will become wards of the state of their parents will be relieved of responsibility for them. SB 409: A bill to set up a committee to study the function func-tion of committees in the state legislature. The committee commit-tee will break up into study groups to discuss group-breaking, group-breaking, will advance proposals for suggestion making and will prepare final recommendations. HR 32: The Express Lane State Code. This is draft of a comprehensive attempt to codify rules of grocery store etiquette. This will, for instance, answer the question, "Is a six-pack of beer one item or six items? " SB 555 : The Salad Bartenders Training Act. Will provide pro-vide training and licensing for staffers at restaurant salad bars who are prepared to cut a customer off when he has had too much roughage for the night. BY TERI GOMES This year I resolve to... Sunday afternoon I sat in the middle of my bed surrounded sur-rounded by mounds of paper. Bills to be paid, letters to be answered, articles clipped from magazines and various newspapers that demanded to be read. I filled an entire huge garbage sack with junk and I was still left with three separate stacks about a foot deep each. "This year I resolve to really stay on top of paperwork," paper-work," I told myself, and put the three separate piles into in-to a box and two paper sacks. I went downstairs. In the laundry room, you couldn't see the linoleum for die lint. The sweats were piled up with the sheets and socks and unmentionables. The things that needed to go to the dry cleaners were stacked on a bench and the quilts that needed to be washed gently were tucked over in a corner. "This year," I said to myself, "I will stay on top of the laundry." So I kicked the sweats aside, threw the unmentionables in with a couple towels and closed the door. In the kitchen I tried to find the lid for a pan which started to boil over on the stove. I looked where the other pans are, mostly, and it wasn't there. I searched where the bowls are, sometimes, and it wasn't there. When I opened the closet where the vacuum is stored, I found the lid safely on the floor with the missing lasagne dish and the long-lost glass cake plate. "This year I will find a place for everything in the kitchen," kit-chen," I told myself, stuffing the cheese grater in the drawer with the wine opener and the barbeque skewers. J In the bathroom, I searched for the eye shadow that is the color of this khaki dress I think I have waiting for me at the dry cleaners. I looked in the top drawer where my son's electric razor resides. But it wasn't alongside the Stridex and the Q-Tips. In the middle drawer I found the lost mate to a pair of my favorite earrings, twelve cents and three safety pins. In the bottom drawer, my daughter's hair ornaments weren't concealing the eye shadow, and under the sink where some scented candles were stored along with two outdated People magazines, I found an unopened package of bubble bath. But no eye shadow. I suspect my daughter borrowed it but I intend to keep looking on my own. "This year I shall create spaces for all my things in the bathroom," I said out loud, and with a sweep of my hand I pushed the top to the toothpaste tube into the top drawer along with the button to my green velvet dress and six cents. 'Somewhere in my closet is my favorite pair of burgundy burgun-dy leather gloves. I know I stuck them in there one day when I was looking for this great green knit scarf I used to have. I thought the gloves were underneath the pile of old flannel nightgowns I can't bare to toss out but I found three single unrelated socks and a long underwear top that has a hole in elbow. But since it's underwear who cares? Where my turtlenecks were stacked was a possibility, I thought, but all I discovered was a dumb short-sleeved summer tee-shirt and a pair of racy underwear my mother had sent me a few years ago when I was feeling blue. "This year I will re-arrange my closet so I can find things," I grumbled, as I threw my slip into the pile of jeans and sweaters on the floor. And it strikes a vein with me, New Year's resolutions have such noble beginnings. This new year I resolve to become fully organized in my life, including preparing this column in a reasonable manner. And I will, just as soon as I finish transcribing these notes from the back of my electric bill envelope... - . UP cyr The Saab 9000 Turbo comes with a rather unusual feature for a performance car. Room. Room to seat five adults in extraordinary comfort and luxury. Room to carry more than the combined cargo capacities of a Mercedes Benz 5(0SEL, Volvo 760GLE, and BMW 735i. . And with a zero to 60 time of only 7.6 seconds, its intercooled turbocharged engine can quickly put some extra room between you and the other cars on the road. rrmm So take the Saab 9(KK) Turbo out for a test run. For a performance the ffifffHl whole family can enjoy. The most intelligent cars ever built. (gKen Garff Saab 543 South State Salt Lake City, Utah 841 1 1 1 000 The Grub" Steak For a (Great Steak! And delicious prime rib, succulent seafood and our famous 35-item salad bar. SERVING BREAKFAST Daily 7-1 0 a.m. Sunday 7-9 a.m. LUNCH Monday-Friday 1 1:30 to 2:30 p.m. Saturday 12 to 2:00 p.m. DINNER Monday-Thursday 5:30 to 10:30 p.m. Friday-Saturday 5:30 to 1 1 :00 p.m. Sunday 5 to 10:30 p.m. SUNDAY BRUNCH 1 0:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. every Sunday year round Enjoy live entertainment Wednesday through Sunday evenings In the Grub Steak's relaxing Western Atmosphere For more information, please call 649-8060 or 649-7100 Park City's Favorite Restaurant R K S I RAN at Prospector Square Hotel Are you tired of the corporations getting all the attention? Are you tired of all the big guys getting all the deals? Call Summit Travel 801-649-0550 1-800-52-AGENT stop by our office for details 1662 Bonanza Drive Buy early and save up to 70 on Airline Tickets Call Summit Travel 801-649- 550 1-800-52-AGENT 801-355-6057 |
