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Show JUST FOR FUN ' - Where He Got Inspiration. Former District Attoriioy John J. Sulllvnn aa tlio principal speaker at u reunion of old soldiers a few years ago. He had nil of hlB wonderful command com-mand of pathos nud eloquence In full workiiiR order that day, and ae no concluded Ills oration tcnr8 glistened In tho evcH of many of tho veterans. One of the old boys In blue camo up to Mr. Sullian, pressed his hand and bald: "Your description of the scenes on the Held of carnage during a light was beautiful. You must have been in the ihlck of the battle some time Where did you luno your most thrlll-mp thrlll-mp experience?" "At Warren," roplled Colonel Sullivan. Sulli-van. . "At Warren? Vhv, 1 never lmcw there vns any fighting there." "Probably not."' replied Colonel Sullivan, Sul-livan, "but if vou had been behind the bat for Warren tho day v0 beat Yountstown 1 to 0 you would have Known you were in a fight and a mlshty warm one, too," and the Colonel Col-onel extended his gnarled and twisted I fingers 10 prove his assertion. Cleveland Cleve-land Leader. Not Buying Wholesale. 1 A young man went to the store to select some goods for a drees as n present to hlB wire Ho caused the fat ladv behind the counter no little trouble trou-ble but she finally persuaded him to decide upon a certain picco of goods. "Xow, T don't exactly know how much I want." said tho man. "Well." Interposed fho fat saleswoman, sales-woman, suavely, "let's see. Now, I should need about " "Madam," brusquely rejoined the husband. "I don't want this for an awning; I want It for a dress." Harper's Har-per's Magazine Never In the Same Place. There are but few who would not appear a trifle bored If compelled to listen a second time to a sermon. This weariness might bo somowlmt allevi-ated, allevi-ated, however, If repeaters of sermons ser-mons would bear in mind the remark of a little daughter of ft preacher who was asked tho question: "Does yoilr fnthcr over prench the same sermon twice?" After a moment's contemplation she replied: "Yes, but I think he bollerB in different differ-ent places." Llppincott's. Rich In Ignorance. A certain .Methodist parson was loudly Inveighing before a ministerial assembly against schoolB of theology, and finished by thanking God that he had never "rubbed his back up ngainfit one." "Do I understand the brothor to say that ho thanks God for his lcnorance''" asked tho Bishop. "Well, yes, If you want to put It that way," he replied. "Then all I have to add," said the Bishop unctuously, "la that U10 brother has a great deal to be thankful or." Argonaut. The Usual Affection. "What n very affecting piece, my dear." remarked the husbnnd, as they' returned from tho suburban theater tho othor night. "I supposo there wasn't a dry cyo in the house." "I obscivcd, however,' said his wife, "that there teemcd to be the usual number of dry thioats." Tlt-Blts. Tlt-Blts. The Cache. Knlcker Wo are told to do our shopping early, ' Bockcr r know it; my wife has already al-ready concealed a 49-cent tie in the top bureau drawer. New York Sun. |