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Show fkl.PhiJlipr P PRIVATE PURKET INTERVIEWS A 'WAVE' (Home on a 'short furlough, Oscar, unknown to Harriet, who is in the - WAACs, saw his girl-friend Minerva, who has signed up in the women's naval auxiliary.) Oscar So you're a WAVE! What's the idea? Minerva I didn't want to be just a ripple or a backwash, like your friend Harriet. Oscar I heard you joined the navy to get smarter uniforms than they have in the women's army. The WAVEs can profit by mistakes made by the WAACs. Minerva Do you think this war is a style show? Oscar You make me wonder. Oscar Can you splice a rope? Minerva What do you think I'm joining, a rodeo? Oscar Can you box a compass? com-pass? Minerva No, but I can wrap up a clock. Oscar Did you ever port your helm? Minerva No profanity please! Oscar Did you ever stow a skifl? Minerva Stop lisping! Oscar I'm serious, Min. What is a starboard tack? Minerva You've got me there; I'm no carpenter. Oscar Gee, Min, you're awful ignorant. igno-rant. Minerva Other- wise why would I be standing here talking to you? Oscar Say, lissen, why are you girls going to train for the navy at Smith college away up in Northampton? Northamp-ton? Minerva Because we thought it would sound funny to train sailors at Vassar. Oscar I see your uniforms are to be by Mainbocher of Paris. Minerva Isn't that wonderful? Oscar It's better than by Mike Todd of Star and Garter. What will the regular navy think of that after aft-er all these years in the original John Paul Jones sailor suits? Minerva A woman- sailor is expected ex-pected to look better than a man. Oscar What difference does it make when she falls overboard? Minerva Lissen, Lis-sen, is this a date or a quiz program? Oscar Okay, admiral. I'll stow the question. juinerva Thanks, Colonel! 'BALLADE ON FEASTS AND FORAGINGS' When gourmets to the board propel Their paunchy selves for tasty fare, Most nostrils quiver at the smell Of food that master chefs prepare; pre-pare; But if you wish that you were there, Hold on Lucullan tables lack The virtues found when you prepare The pleasures of a midnight snack. At witching hour, when all is well, A hungry man steals down the stair Into the cook's own citadel. To gather morsels extra rare And strip unguarded cupboards cup-boards bare; Then to the bedroom creeping back. Thus adding to adven-t adven-t u r e ' s flair The pleasures of a mid-night mid-night snack. Prince, would you forget your thinning hair, Your troubles state and cardiac? cardi-ac? Then try, for liberty from care, The pleasures of a midnight snack. W. E. T. "The members of the women's naval auxiliary will refer to floors as decks, call stairs ladders, classify closets as lockers and always say 'bulkheads' when speaking of walls." News item. Wanna bet? "Moscow Strikes Back." Headline. Head-line. Remember away back when it would almost surely have read, "Moscow Backs Strike." |