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Show Page 6 Wednesday, December 15, 1976 i ri nr. w s r .i i i i Women A VISIT FROM ST. NICHOLAS To the Liberated Household of Richie and Joyce By Judith Viorst Reprinted from Redbook Magazine 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house (which, according to their marriage contract, he cleans on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and alternate Sundays and she cleans on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and alternate Sundays, except on weeks when he goes to the supermarket she has to clean an extra day, and vice versa) Not a creature was stirring,-not even a mouse, (which he has started to feel very comfortable about admitting he is terrified of, thanks to the repudiation of outdated cliches attributing fear of rodents only to women); The stockings (they were actually her stockings but he wouldn't, says Joyce, have a single qualm about wearing them, for he feels secure enough in his own masculinity' no longer to need to define himself through external symbols) were hung by the chimney with care In hopes that St. Nicholas soon Would be there; The children (which 'include a girl, Who plans to be President of the United States; a boy, who plans to marrv rhp President nf the United States- and a third child who is free to select whatever sexual persuasion he-she desires) were all snug in their beds, r ' V ' While vicinnc nf eiitrnrnlnms rianrpH in fhpir heads? And Joyce in her kerchief, and Rich in his cap (though it could just as easily have been Rich in his kerchief and Joyce in her cap see earlier, statement on external symbols), Had just settled their brains (whose capacity for . logic and reason and abstract thinking and reading a?irnap of the West is not,'Joyce would like to point 4 out, intrinsically greater in males than it is in females) for a long winter's nap, ,. . KIMBALL ART CENTER J fl-nnnrai M ' KX . MM. JMM M W mm 8:00 P.M. in the Gallery sr. Admission $2.00 r DDaarifrontmrfDC MGME MADNESS Thursday, Dec. 16 - CAMULE An alltlme great loves tory of a Parisian courtlaan (Gar-bo) (Gar-bo) who falls in love with a young nobleman (Robert Taylor) but she Is committed to marry another man. Friday, Dec. 17 -CHARADE A classic mystery comedy In the style of Aired Hitchcock. Hit-chcock. Stars Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn In a film with more plot than you could ever hope to unravel. 0 When out on the lawn (which presents something of a problem because, although he loves to mow it and she hates to, they both agree that it wouldn't be good for the children to see their parents in stereotypical roles, so she mows it) there arose such a clatter, She sprang from the bed to see what was the matter (for, having earned a black belt in karate, Joyce now does the springing out of bed, dispelling the myth that a famly's phsyical safety always has to be in the charge of the man and also dispelling the myth that a woman is somehow less of a "woman" whatever that means just because she breaks boards with a blow of her hand). Away to the window she flew like a flash. Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the chest of the new-fallen snow . (actually it's breast of the new-fallen snow, but Joyce deplors this suage of "breast", along with such sexist metaphors as "Mother Nature", "Father Time" and "Manhattan") Gave the luster of midday to objects below, When, what to her wondering eyes should appear, But a minature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, She knew in a moment it must be St. Nick More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: . "Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! , On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen! (Joyce points out that there appears to be an., equitable distribution of male and female reindeer, with six nonsexist names Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Comet, Donder and Blitzen; one indisputably feminine name Vixin; and one name, Cupid, which classically is masculine. Although she is gratified by this evidence of equal employment opportunities, she nonetheless senses something invidious in the fact that while the male name "Cupid" refers to the god of love, the female name "Vixen" is defined by the dictionary as "an ill-tempered or quarrelsome woman.") To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall ! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all! He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot (the washing out of which, Joyce fervently hopes, won't be left to poor Mrs. St. Nick, who, she feels, " should stop living in the shadow of her husband and develop her own identity). A bundle of toys he had flung on his back. And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.1 As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet, with an obsticle, mount to the sky; So up to the housetop the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of toys (which needless to say, ' ' were selected without any reference to outmoded notions of gender appropriateness, for today, Joyce ' reminds us, every girl can choose to be a doctor, a jockey, an astronaut or a boy) And St. Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, she heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As she drew in her head, and was turning around, Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound , (a showy gymnastic performance that certainly was not required, Joyce notes, to get down the chimney, and thus can be accounted for only in i terms of macho exhibitionism). His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow (Joyce feels that she ought to point out that while a man who has a beard as white as the snow can look not only distinguished but also sexy, a woman is forced to use bleaches and dyes in order not to be regarded as over the hill, because, she continues pointing out, our chauvinistic society tends to see women as objects instead of people); The stump of a pipe (which Joyce points out, she too is entitled to smoke not only under state and Federal law but also if ERA passes, the Constitution) he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a wide face and a little round belly, That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly. He was chubby and plump (in spite, of which, Joyce feels she ought to point out, a man can look distinguished and also sexy, while a woman who is "chubby and plump" and furthermore has see above a "little round belly" is frequently regarded as unattractive, because, she continues pointing out, our chauvinistic society tends to judge women by girlie-magazine standards), a right jolly old elf, and she laughed when she saw him in spite of herself; A wink of his eye (which is certainly not the deceptively innocent act, Joyce says, that it seems to be, but represents uncousiously, of course a sexual assault) ' and a twist of his head. Soon gave her to know she had nothing to dread oth.ncr in dread she viiuugu 011 vtiit iiaf v gviuvuuuQ is very sure she wouldn't dread it see earlier statement on black belt in karate); He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work ; (which Joych considers no more his work than her work,' arguing that the job requirements surely i could be met by anyone of either sex who can steer reindeer, fit through chimneys and get along well with elves), - ' And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside of his nose. And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle (the sexual implications of which, Joyce observes, are similar to those discussed under wink, especially when the whistle is directed not at reindeer but at women) And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But she heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas To all ( and by 'all', Joyce says, she hopes he means not women and men but independent persons, persons defined by their interests, their work, their character and their minds but not perish the thought by the! anatomy) and to all a good night." Mardl Gras In New Orleans Will swap our house In University Section of New Orleans, week of Feb. 20- 26, 1977 for accommodations ac-commodations for family of.fourtaParkCRy. To exchange particulars, write J.C. Rosen, 4207 Tchoupitoulas, New Orleans, La 701 15. High School Will Sond StudontG To Hawaii Park City High School is participating in, a program fdr male students which' ' provides jobs 'onM the 1 Hawaiian Islands of Maui and Lanai. ; Offered by Youth Develop- mental Enterprises of Salt . Lake City, the program boasts B30 job openings for " young men between the ages of 16 and 18 desiring work such as truck drivers,' cafeteria cafe-teria workers and general field workers. Students can opt to work from March 10 through August 27, April 22 through September 31 or June 3 through August 27. ' According to Youth Development Enterprises, youths can expect to save ibetweeen $1,300 and $2,000 during the five month programs and $300 to . $700 during the June-August stay. Dormitory housing is provided pro-vided with three meals and a snack each day for $2.75 per day and participants are given an eight-day tour of three Hawaiian islands at the end of their visit. PARK CITY (3SU33iaRI eon ELKS LD(S presents 2 Benefit Basketball Games Doc. 20 -- Park City High School 7 p.m.: Park City Elks Lodge - vs. Park City High School Girls Team );. .- 8 p.m.: Park City Red Banjo vs. Utah State Prison All Stars Admission: $1 Adults $.50 children undbr 12 All proceeds to the Elk's Club Charity Fund TROPHIES TO BE AWARDED on the other hand. . . J 405 MainStroot 11:30-6:00 AnVquas Scond hand marchandhta Ski CtotfiM ConalgnmanU Buy and Trada Papar Back boom Now offering NEW RECORDS AND TAPES OUT STANDING IN THEIR FIELD BLUEGRASS NEWGRASS AND COUNTRY SWING y Restaurant MAIN STREET - PARK CITY, UTAH Side Bar Lounge Possum Pie in concert .. "Blue Grass" THURSDAY, FRIDAY, SATURDAY 8 p.nvl a.m. Tickets Available at the Door ' Call for Reservations 649-9338 |