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Show Gave the Lawyer HI3 Quietus. Not long p.20 a prominent contributor to tho columns of tbo newspapers was a wlhitis In a trivJnl case In court and was being harried by a bumptious country lawyer, who asked: Game and Tricks. Weavers and Weft In this game there are two Bides, so that only an equal number can take part. Each provided with a new, shallow tin pan, the parties then separate and stand In two linoB, facing each "So you arc a writerare you? Well, other, about eight or ten feet apart. or magazine fclr, what great paper The starter at the head of one of cro rou vcm.ocied with?"' the lines fastens one end of a ball of "With none." was the ruodest reply. yarn to a docrknob or chair Just be"Then, why do you call yourself a hind hlni, and, putting the ball on his writer? What do you vrlte noveH, pan, tossos it to the player directly op: bclentiflo works, histories, or what?" poslto, who endeavors to catch it on "I wrUe anything ami everything his and toss it to the person on ' that occurs t me as likely to bo worth the pan, nido, j other who stands next to the reading, or to Bell whether It la worth starter. leading or not." The third player In turn sends it "Well then, for whom cr for what back to the one standing second on Co you wri'H? You say you are not the opposite side. In this order, going connected with any paper or maga- back and forth, the ball travels down zine?" the ranks,. When It reaches the end of the Hue "Yes, sir. I so stated. 1 am an unattached writer, for the general mar- It is started back again, and kept go.. ket?" ing until tbo yarn is all unwound. In no ca3e may the ball be touched "Ju3t bo? You write anything that occurs to yen. Well, now, do you ever with the hands. "When It falls to the write up iho proceedings of courts?" floor, it must bo lifted up with' tha pan by the player who drops it or falls "I have done so occasionally." to catch it, end when the yarn fastens "Can you ttnto to the judge and itself to '.he clothing, or becomes Jury what particular kind of court proaround the body of the player ceedings ycu would deem wcrthy of It must not lo touched, no matter how your pen." It may inconvenience the movemuch "Yes If I saw a young lawyer ments. treating a very respectable witness In Great caro should be taken, not to a rude and disrespectful manner and break the thread ; any one doing so making an ass of himself generally, I 13 counted out of the game. lie cannot should think that possibly worUi writleave his place however, for moving ing up." may disturb the yarn attached to othThe court end Jury smiled audibly. ers. Tho ends of the broken yarn must The Judge took the witness In hand for bo tied together before the game is a moment. resumed. "How much do you think a scene When the yarn Is all unwound it like this, for instance, ought to bring 13 the object of each player to loosen if It were well 'written up?" without himself from the tangle "It would depend upon the actors. the thread breaking If the lawyer were a person of any The time must be noted, and five note or character possibly $5 or $10." minutes only be allowed for the dis"What would you expect to receive should you write the facts of this par entanglement At the end of this time the side ticular Instance?" has the greatest number of which "About 75 cents, your honor." free from the meshes of yarn members Counsel for the defense had no more wins game the What a Girl May Questions to ask. Washington Times. and Do player la Make GLOBE SIGHTS. At this season there I3 A Progressive a taste of Is started Letter This game one of by "I have the guests an- cn the Side Line. overcoat Wrap a muffler around your throat Grab a place at the rope along the side of the field. Stamp your feet to keep them warm. Light your cigarette for distraction. Cough. Sneeze. Turn edgeways to tha sharp wind. Shout encouragement to the men who are doing the work on the gridiron. Catch pneumonia. But bo careful not to enter into the sport on your own account. Remain a spectator. Then you will be a perfect illustration of the way in which football assists the physical development of forty-nin- e out of every fifty students. This is not a fact against football as a game. It is a fact against football as an Institution. Football as a game was based oa sport and exercise. Football as an institution Is based on the desire to win. It was the desire to win that first put professionals on college teams. It is the desire to win that still involves college teams in what President Faunce, of Drown University, in The World today calls "systematic prevarication" with regard to the qualifications of their members. , It is the, .desire to win that causes colleges and universities to send drummers through the . preparatory schools to induce youug athletes to choose the scene of their future studies for reasons entirely apart from mental or social development. Flnal.y It is the desire to win that surrenders football exclusively to the few men in each college who stand a chance of winning. No one wants to play football unless he is on the main team or the scrub team. And the men who can make those teams are already the strongest and healthiest men in the college community. The desire to win is absolutely distinct from the desire to take exercis? or to have sport It brings Into the domain of sport and exercise the alien wordly maxim that nothing succeeds like success. If success is not reached, what's the use? Football is, on the whole; a splendid game. All that it needs is to be kept a game, a game for the average student, played by him for an hour or two in the afternoon for the sake of the playing. Chicago Tribune. Put MusoJe on an a letter addressed nouncing, rooster incptlng chicken. to Alma Allen, and it Is to go to AmSNUBBED FOR FAIR. The croquette Is the old fashioned I have about come to the conclusterdam,'' tins making the name and Lash-bal- l after it gets into society. sion," said Mr. J. L. Givens, of PhilaWhen it :els too cold for the flics place alliterative must last take next The the person1 delphia, at the Raleigh, "that the man to play outdoors, fs the most disathe place- - mentioned for the who butts In where he hasn't been ask-e"of letter greeable acp ion cf the year. the letter she .has addressed. is almost sure to rejrret it. even The indications are that we will live fame on Sr. case. "Amsterdam, In this ending though his motives are lofty and in next winter tu Jam and recollections in "M" she naist aay'i bave a letter spired by the most humane feeling cf what wj tpent at the fair. to Minnie Moors, and it Is " "The other day If a roan pets Irritated when he Is addressed something happened to Minnesota."addressed to me that will bold me quiescent for Interrupts! la reading a letter, tha. This can be carried, on endlessly." Is one fln U Is not from his wife many a day, until I am invited to parIt Is said of an American woman I never ticipate in the affairs of Measure the length saw before. This event people A cane Tiick on that when he made a tour around happened along a cane by plac- a street car. I noticed a couple of the world so registered from Chicago- - of your forearm When .1 crowd of passengers crowd ing your elbow even with Its head and young women get aboard, and off a train if cars they suggest tho marking the point to which the tip they took a seat immediately behind clothes as t':e are tumbled out of the of your middle finger reaches. me. Then they began searching for Take boll of your cane with your tickets In the usual feminine way, to laundry bajf. middle flngn,- covering tire mark and see who could A woman under thirty will scream pay first, but this time louder when she sees a bug than a your little finger nearest to the head. neither could claim priority, for thero woman past fifty will scream when The cane mutt be at right angles to wasn't a car ticket between them, and the hand and be grasped firmly, so the conductor was almost she seen a snake. upon them. the tips of all the fingers' are that A man may always have been an "I saw. or thought I saw, that they against the palm of were in a dilemma, particularly as one, Indulgent fatter, but If he la slow at pressed tightly Is not "fair" to hold the It Ibe hand. In response to the other's whl3per, loosening up for wedding follies, all cane obliquely. this Is forgotten. the button for the car to stop. Now try to put the head of the cane pressed A farmer's wife knows such serious In this emergency, and wishing to. do to your Hps. If you succeed you are unto others as I wished to be done by, things in life that we have noticed rule, and and that she Isn't as apt to brush the flies an exception to the general bowing with my best 'air, I extendwill probably fall If you hold off her baby's face as quick as a town even you ed the fare for two. By this time the the cane in the same manne. at a mother would. young women were on their feet, and a lltlo farther from tho head. point Next winter when she refused the saw my help But any ono can do the trick easily though they and It family to rave It for the preacher an elderly man came from that a Mother will eay that she would have by holding the cane at less dlstancj who was past making a play for ulterfrom its Head than the length of the put up more fruit If it hadn't been ior motives, all I got was a look of forearm. for the fruit Jar famine. Oh, we are scorn and a contemptuous toss of the onto Mother. Atchison Globe. from a couple of damsels from rial Trie. Do you know how to head t thought I had the right lo exhom balance a chin plate on the point of Mackintoshes. more pect courtesy. To men J tiitcklntosbes. procure a a r.ee lie, and even to cause It to spin "The worst of It was that when I delicate tMsn support? tmall tin of India rubber cement, cr fcteadiiy ujAn went home and told my wife about It the cotki two and Cut down middle, dissolve noma strips of pure India rubshe me and said I was an oi l at Jeered of four end halves thus tho in the ber In naphtha, then apply a little of that the meddler; young women doubtInsert to Inclined tha obtained forks, the cement lo the surface cf a str.y less had their own, and tickets of cf corks rM" a little smooth at tho of the material cf which the mackinthat from the car sudden their exit less than angles. tosh is made: this can be purchan! due to or percorfca the forgetting around something, Plaea Ihcjo fjur by the yarl from the waterproofer. found were out on haps they rim of tht the distance they equal plrte at Also apply a little to the cement 01: the ear. whether But, tfce see wrong from one and my cr.dher. that each eido of the torn part, and br'.n the eJges together, and place ovtr teeth of the forks are In contact with spouse was right or wrong. I emerge 1 the rim to prevent them from sway-leg- . from that experience a wiser man, and them the patch, which requires to t shall curb all sympathetic Impulses In kept In po.sn.loi- - for a few days, um'i future till I know my help. Is wanted.' With a li'tle care this plate can quite hard, by placing a weight ovr now be balanced on the point of a neeWashington Post. it. dle whose eye has tueen buried In the "No," ald Ulmer, "I haven't any cork cf an upright bottle. Misunderstanding. La wson Hullo, toc. Glad to By giving It a gentle rotary motion use for people who never read poetry." "I don't see why you should feel that the plate may he made to spin around you back. Bid you kill anything? which It vlil do for quite a while. Dr. Carver (with dignity) I don t way.' rep;ted Crltick. know what you mean, t have Just re"Why. the fee ing Is natural enough, There are always two sides to a turned from New York, where I was Isnt It?" "No. Why should you care to long Question, but everybody thinks ther? called to perform an Important surgical operation. as tliry read your stuff?'' Philadelphia I3 only one. I thought Lawaon Great Scott! Iress. If every man was allowed to esti you d been out In the Adirond&cks on mate his own wealth we would have a hunting trip. fomeryiile Journal. Candidate frequently mistake no use for small money. 01" lor the political pot. lett d , - well-dresse- pro-offere- d d Me-idm- . t ie Bt.-u- f THE WRONG HOUSE By Helen Livermore. thought were unsettled as for any an- other reason, for the maid usually swered the door; but they were at once pretty well concentrated on the lovely apparition there a slender givl with flushed cheeks and sweet eyes, a sma.l valise In one hand, a shawlstrap in tne other. "I am late; but" she begau breath-losslin a pleasant young voice; then paused, with a look of surprise and an air of perplexity. "I beg your pardon I am afraid this Is the wrong house!" she said, looking squarely at Tom. Tom felt queer. "I don't believe it Is," he stammered, "Whose, house did you wish to find, She had sweet eyes. That fact had impressed itself upon Tom Leslie's dulled brain, as he turned aside and let the young lady pass him. He knew well enough who she was Tome & Tapes' new typewriter girl. He was not interested in girls Just now in fact, he hated them. What could have been more beguiling than Miss Sophie Silver, with her fair, fluffy hair, and her pink cheeks, and her darling little way of looking at you as if she would eat you up if she only had a silver spoon? Tair,-falslittle Sophie! She wasn't worth the intense discomfort she had caused him for the past four mouths. Miss Dacy?" The. girl flushed still more, but did She hadn't cared a button for .him; or for any one else" but herself, for that not look displeased. 'Mr. Hall's. I have just come la ' .; matter. I am going to board there. She only wanted him to think her town today. This must be the wrong bouse." pretty, and to be sure she would capti"Mr. Hall lives next door, but I don't vate him. She had allowed him to perhaps they think they were engaged.- Engaged! think they are at home a funeral," said to have away gone Well, she was three deep before she saw hull. There was her dentist and a Tom. astonished at his own duplicity.. "Wcn't you come In, Miss Dacy? Ibe-theological student, and' one of her father's' salesmen dancing attendance lieve I recognize you. I I have heard Mr. Tome speak of you. I never have upon her, each believing himself the favored one, when she met Tom, and taken boarders, but but my "housewould perhaps find it pleasant," immediately pinned him as victim num- keeper supplemented Tom eagerly, and nolirg ber four. She bad just as much sweetness to with satisfaction that the young girl bestow upon him as If there wasn't put down her burdens as if the could another man in the world. She always carry them no longer. "Pray come ia wore white Wednesday nights Tom and sit down. You seem tired. I will introduce you to Miss Pikestaff. Perliked white. The dentist liked red and Sunday evening it was red; the haps we can accommodate you." The flush of exertion died out. The theological student blue and Monday check looked a little pale, and night she wore blue. The salesmtn young sweet the eyes Tom admired glanced preferred pink and every Tuesday rather wistfully about the cozy par evening beheld her in pink. Miss Sophie liked to please people; lor. "I must be settled tonight I thought it wasn't a bit of trouble. She promised to marry most of the young men my boarding place was engaged. There who asked her. As these affairs multi- must be some mistake if they do not' me. Mrs. Hall is Mr. Tome' plied she sometimes wondered how expect I am not particular as long as sister. they would come out, but never trou- am comfortable, and it looks very bled herself any further. Wheu Tom realized all this, when he pleasant here," Arie Dacy said to found her out, be could have beaten grim Mlrs Pikestaff, who softened uc his head against the wall for a fool. der (be sweet eyes, and said: "We can take you as well as not. If But that would hardly have relieved Mr. Leslie is willing." the sting. It bad been a little cruel. "Yes. certainly, "certainly, respondHis dear old mother had died, and the bouse was unbearably lonely, with the ed Tom; nnd the mattpr was settled. He felt rather guilty of misrepresentgrimmest of housekeepers. He bad not a sister or cousin or ing the absence of the Halls to Mis3 for he had seen tbeui at the stayoung woman friend in the world. In D3cy,and tion knew well enough that they fact, he didn't know much about girls. were tei town only to the thegoing He was only three and I'venty. aud a hi but little plot never caiua ater; 111 tie bhy and awkward, though more to light, while Axle was very clearly than usually good looking. In li is loneliness he was led to join much pleased from the first with her a social club called the Hyacinths, and new home. She was grateful to Tom, and sua Miss Sophie saw him and marked him Mis Pikestaff Into surprising thawed lur her owd. to herself; and the three sat kindness It wai all over aid well over. But to breakf jst the next morning a bown young "Tom" felt old and dull, aud Tom meant busiwhen be guy a pretty girl be turned very happy family. ness from be dared not but the first, aside with a wry fjce. in haste. He pretended that ha be But the young lady entering Tomu liked a bachelor' life, and never to d & Tape's ofiice was not so remarkably Arie. that he loved her until fIio ha pretty.' Only she had sweet eyes, aud been the light of his home nearly "Tom" thought a little about them iu year. spite of himself. He knew her name; "Do you love- me, Tom?" she said, she was Miss Arethusa Dacy. She was then "you a rich man and I only a said to be a very nice operator. Mr. poor girl?" Tome was doing some business for T am a poor man without your lve. him. and he mentioned her as a very Arie.. As for my money, you may have exceptional young lady. "Tom" wondered If she bad ever It ail If you'll only marry me." And when they were married tho fooled any of tha young men who had, said: admired her. She did not look as if "How strange I should cou.c lo bn she bad. She had a little air of reserve about hei; and then those frank, mistress where" I stumbled tipen tlie Innocent eyes, dark blue as pansies, wrong house "But 1 knew it was the rlRbt ont and with curllug lashes! the start." Interrupj!er Tom "It ' But classes and lassie are brittle fromIsn't is. it, Arie?" ware," quoth Tom," with a groan, a the is "It ple.i3antest bonif. and I am be recollected Sophie's smile and the the happiest woman, f think. In the little curls on her forehead. she replied. world." 71 was a little hard on Tom. He wantIf you will allorv rce to h. "Granted. ed to get married.. He wanted a good the happiest tran." he reioined; and wife whom he could 'love, who would once In this unsatisfactory lif fur make bis home bright. He was not the was suited. nc for Sophie to flirt with; she ought everybody to have let him alone. Rag Rugs. He went homo that night unusually rnz tin? worn and more like-- t Rag a seen He had great many for bedrooms. depressed. Thy are made in most people during the day, and tbey had trtistic combinations of color by tbn had the effect n him of making him be woven to or'.raftsmen, and feel more alone than he did before he der In tone to may match any room. Rti? saw thcni. It was a little relief to 1e made of an old Ingrain carpet, especat home. The rooms were ibe picture If th carpet be all wool, nra ially of comfort and neatness, though a litvery satisfactory for simple rooms an-- l tle s'lff, under Mis Pikestaffs' band. up stairs halls. The rarpet is cut into She never allowed a book or chair out long Mnps alout an Inch wide, thi f Its allotted place. longer the belter, and roDed Into ballf After tea he sat down lo think. Was for the loom. When pieces sre ewc! this solitariness lo be forever the rod the Joinings roust be neatly toad?. of bis happy hopes? Was Miss Pike, The warp ban to be very heavy lo boM staff always lo preside over bis borne? the carpel wfrll, and caro should be He hoped not. taken that the weaver is a good one. It seemed unendurable as the bright An old green ingrain woven with j Coals tinkled In falling from the grate, red w.1rp Is described by Mrs, and the pretty French clock ticked and Wbeelv as one of lb choicest echoed in Iho oppressive quiet. lp her collection. Tho red warp Is Suddenly there was a ring at the good with 1 isrly all figured carpets. dour Id . Tbo penalty of thirst Is tu price of rtjrtcJ up as much because his y, e - .' - - Can-dar- e dr!n. |