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Show r. rr we vv w vf w v w v v W V"1 R. K. TH0RI3AS if f t - I i s. Jr' V, fj Ilain Street, Gait La!io City Address and Call cn us for Bargains C7-C3-- 71 flote tta la l)r, John Hail's time it was the cupttjin faxhlunt-i- l Kitiiplt- - byiniiK, and tlie sinking wa m kis ofmr-gati.nal- clmrrh U) use tbe old . On ont; orcaiou the late William M. Evarfs c:sesvtTi-- E. De'.afieid Smith the wll known lawyt-- ami the nirpciratioii courisx.l of New York, singing wilb ail his heart, and whispered to his friend: "Why there is Smith ainjsiriK 'I want to be ar: mgel.' I knew he wanted to he district attorney, hut I didn't know h waui- -1 to he an angel." The remark was repeated to Mr. Smith, am! 'iick as a flash came the d JOHN GORDON & SON, t'l A r LEAS 15 Groceries, Confectionery, Statonorj, Novelties, And all Kmdsof Fruita. Canned Goods. Etc. Eto. retort Taaeea and Cigars finest Jce Grenm Utah, Drinks. Cool .huihiiim ERNSTROM Hal moved Into hli new store on Murray Inspect his an street, where h an J full stock of the matter to Lvarts, knowing that he had t invites the publio Wall Papers, Linoleums, Stovcs,Ranges, Ltc, would have to decamp at once. Th stranger remonstrated, pleaded, ami beg.ied. but the watchman was determined out he must go. The man rose, and, producing a bottle of whisky, remarked: "Well, I suppose. I will have to go, hut. will you take a taste of this first?" The watchman brightened up at once, and saiij: "Eh, man, did ye think I was In earnest?" certain minister was recently asked by a lady of his acquaintance to address the young women of a society in which she was interested. She wa an ardent, abstainer, ami ofien hud had discussiors with the minister on the subject of total abstinence. On this occasion, however, she requested him tc talk to her girls atjalust the love of dress, which, she said, was causing the ruin of many a promising young woman of the present day In fact, it was fast becoming a curse. The minister promised to address them on the de sired subject. Then, with a twinkle in his eye, b added, "And shall it be moderation or total abstinence?" A y,m jpt "Is It love?" asked the doubter. "I rave ub'ffit her hair, here eyes; I seek her out on all occasions; I urn content to hold her hand for hours at a time; I find a hertofore unknown rapture in her smiles and kisses; but la it reaily love?" "I should judge." replied his prosaic friend, "tint it ought to be." "Ah, but Is it?" "Well, I can tell yon how to find out." "How?" "Marry her." NOW IS THE TIME REFRIGERATORS YOU NEED EASY CHAIRS ETC. St. Peter What was your business on earth? The Stranger I was a baseball umpire. St. I'eter Indeed And what is your own'pion of your fitness for admission here? The t'mpire Me? Why, I'm as straight a shoestring as you ever let In. ! THE CRACER WIRE AND IRON WORKS R ' Ai I I Lt-M- ttf fHUAiil I i 1 ! M I'll m If you "Mother," said a little girl, looking tip from her book, "what does 'Transatlantic,' mean?" "Oh, across the Atlantic, of course. Don't bother me." "Ikies 'trans' always mean across?" "I suppose it does. If you don't stop bothering me with your questions, you'll go to bed." "Then does 'transparent' mean a crass parent?" Ten minutes later that little girl was resting oijjier tiny couch. I . SI. 'eter-I'- m afraid I'll have to dispute that." The Stranger What! Dispute it! That's just, enough from you. ain't back on the bench inside of twenty seconds I'll fine you $50! "My dear." he said softly. "Well?" she returned, with some asperity. "There is just one tiling 1 desire to know in order to be contented with my lot." "What Is it?" she asked. "Will you hold me up as a model to your third husband as you now hold your first husband up to me?" MANTFACTUUIins 03 IRON FENCES, BANK, OFFICE & COUNTER RAILING, FLCWER STANDS ALL KINDS OF FANCY IRON AND WIRE WORK. WE DO ELECTRO PLATING IN - SILVER, NICKEL AND COPPER 631 STATE . - c u.-- tirrm u , a. imuw,. ait "Are you going to the Hon Ton's party tomorrow night?" asked Harduppe of his wife. "No!" replied Mrs. H . cuttingly. lb,w can I when I have nothing to wear?" "That Is about all you'll need," responded he; "the ladles are to appear In evening dress." i.msX U. P. SALOON & BILLIARD HALL Crt-full- tcil - y Wm k "Miss Mamie." began the basso profuiuio between the anthemns, "are you fond of the national game?" "Well. Mr. Deepvus," replied the blushing young lady, "I think I er might like to take a base." And he not being a natural bom chump, knew there was another fee for the preacher. f WINES, ItlQUORS AND CIGARS ALWAYS ON "I think," she said, "that kissing's foolish, don't you?" "Well." he replied, "there certainly is a gre:it deal of foolishness connected with it." They sat looking earnestly at each other for a little while. Then she wriggled about and said: "Oh, dear! 1 feel so foolish this evening! I wonder what's the matter with me." Father (sternly) Your examination, 1 understand, takes place in a week, and here you are, Idling away your time without ever opening a book. It seems to me that, you ought to be going over all you have learnt in order to fix it more firmly in your mind. Sou (cheerfully) O, that's all right. I can read up ell I have learnt before In half an hour. STREP. r, SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH. a HAM. Careful Attention flivcn to Family Trade. that fellow lookrng over there? He used to go to the same wonder if be remembers me? college that I did. Hnrleigh Ask him for the loan of five dollars." Curley What for? Hnrleigh If he remembers you you wen't get it. Cnrley-S- ee 1 "I John T. Vandegrift $:,0o,oit in the will of of Wilmm.toi:. Del., has been made the redolent of a man he n;ir-e- . wj:,.n tlle latter was a poor miner . tl in the liocklos thirty eais ago. TV. .a.. n::ule the text of 250 sermons is..mv upon the wisdom of charity, li in. be the subject of an essay upon the wisdom of picking out 1:1,, ly sub-ec- . f,,r ot charity. "It makes me so glad." s';e aid. kings nowadays have the right to put 'heir subjects to death wthotit t'rsi -,-iii - hem a trial." "Yes." he replied, "it is fiber a ijv.t ti.!c. but there's no telling the kings may go back fie old av of doing things by providing s with automobiles," Murray Dru Companv Fare how-soo- r. s nothing I wonder wh o vo ir hi,-of great men, "Maria." he replied, "the last wor.l I Medicines. W I) uy h,v,,y Hitters an. T.urk Prescriptions Garcfutl Cr.W.E. them-Pelve- "John," she said, "t!u CtrKoVi FiRREBEE, Lncy Arni.-.- ,.w i j ifl s,u,,' (impounded KKop. have" CccJs. S.my, ri!!ll Qav or Uui. more than reading the last words m be?" "i et ng that 1 never expect to , . i j " And (his was the firs; tunc on Llri.rp:ry. hm.I f,-- ! .AND. AenurorDr, King's "t!-- -- Drnlcrs In Drugs Laura -- Auntie, should never written to me? ' ftX be .it ius::',,; h- - got it. wr:..,.g ,0 a young man who had ;:, on erv Important Auntie-(inl- y :n. s, Laura -- Well, this is important business nsv (,,ar. want to marry him. "I've sent for mi." said the old t:.. :.!:. t0 paint a new sign for us. I've taken my son into p.ir'ncr!:ip." "Y.. slr," said the signpainter, "but your son gave me !,, oi ler for ihe ..; v,.,.,u: liaya ,so. "He did?" "Yes. .he, ,, , j,. iV p"au.r sir. He told me to n:ae n .. , lie va watching h:. nnn!:!.r' trot.bt. ,. h had a look id painful at :ety coi hvj v., "Are you afraid the bid w:' t,i- ",V1, I m "No," he rep'.-.c.lira; he w, :, ' boy climb a tree, and lie i ' k(H . KtKAL Mr. Staniey Spencer is a; to la,,. ,, failed to aeeonipbsb. s.,,'1; seems to be a lot of !u irr aiw.t :h. ,.t hod what M. Santos Ditmont Mijee of thirty miles. There ! Lw3 L' VALUABLE Explanation Made by Portuguese "Antiquarian." John C. Groom, captain of the First City troop, while in Porto Rico during the. war with Spain, undertook to purchase some relic of historic interest thfct bhouid serve as souvenirs of the ranpaign when he returned home. He ran across a shrewd Portuguese who had been doing a thriving business as an "antiquarian" with other members of the troop; and bargaining at once beean. The fellow's assurance was beyond anything CapL Groom had ever before encountered; and there was placed on display a fine array of jewelry, weapons, manu-se- r pts and odd articles of attire that we.e latently "lakes." Groom shook his head and was turning away when the "antiquarian" him with an assenlon that he had a pistol which was originally the property of Christopher Columbus. He added ft&t it had been in the keeping of a Feruiian relative for many years; and Capt. Groom asked to see it. lis was show n a revolver of modern pattern, dingy and rust encrusted, with the hammer snapped as though in the processes of Cemu 1 me, lien: men arc t:o; ,, adornment of n nrhoi.!. T o te arc ;, take the risk rather than .v tl ,. j... tt l estitnttt" the amount of tu" thi ; UlCSS. ,.. 1" ! ' 7i in ' to' the heard as an unhealthy pie however, who prefer to , ing tw Ice a day. Texas hna leett esstv'C ralr? damaged to nd overflow PAWNBROKERS as a rule are Necessary Evilst But not 50 with UNCLE SAM, COULD HAVE 30 TEL. 969-- Y SALT LAKE CITY. EAST 1ST SO. Opp. Salt Lake Theatre. WLo charge yoo bat ona half tha Interest charged b aakss you the largest loans on all article. of value ed amusing occurrence took place in a llantia church in New London. Connecticut, when I sr. Wrightman, who veil aid favorably known in bit denomination, was its pastor. On Sabbath morning a stranger wak In the pulpit with Dr. Wrightmau. The latter, after conducting the usual devotional exercises, introduced tliH Btrang'T Hh the K'.y. Mr. Smith. Ami that genii. an, rising promptly, with' "antiquitating." out mentioning chapter and vra, anixiunccd a his text: "Of whom the "You rogue!" exclaimed the Philawhtle family In heaven and earth is named." delphia:!, amused but Irritated at havAfter the service Mr. Smith asked Dr. Wri,:htman why the congregation ing been called back. "Revolvers were to be amused whin the text was announced. not made in Columbus' day!" "SI, senor I know! I know!" exAn old man, who was employed a night watchman and Bald no be very plained the Portuguese. "And that, fond of a dram, was going his round one very el rmy night, when he dis gracious senor. Is what makes this so covered a man taking sneller from the rain. The watchman informed him rare!" Philadelphia Ledger. that he An in parlors purs Horns made Ice Dream sod : "No, I have never mentioned no influence hi that directum !" At the OIJ Stand, Hfate Stieet, Murray, IT MADE Unique F u m t l- jifS. WHAT Can also gde you great barf nina in unredeemed Watches, Jewlry, Quo, Isitrnmenta, sta Fine Elgin and Waltham Watches good bsw from 13.00 sod up. 18 00 a Solid Gold plain sad Bt Rings 1100 ttfd All wool tailor mads aoit suit up. All other 10 goods in all sites t up. and colors, good as nsw from proportion. per cent off on all goods by bringing this add with you. $ MURRAY INSTITUTION CO-OPERAT- CHAS. BR0WK Mansjejr. IT ALU GROCERY, Secretary Wlndom's Liberal Offer to Souvenir Hunter. A characteristic story is told concerning the late Secretary Wlndom, who was bald to an unusual extent. He was believed to be in onDosltion to a proposed piece of important legisla tion in the interests of which a very lobby was at work. Thn lobbying had been carried on extens ively, and a great deal of the work was undertaken by women. Wlndom was scheduled for a sneech on aome vital issues of the day; and it was feared that he was going to turn loose against this special bit of legislation. He never referred to it, however, In the course of a long and striking address; and the lobby, taking that as a favorable indication, sent one of the women to try flattery on him, in the hope of inducing him to show his hand. She began by exDressine fervid admiration of his Bpeech, which was tne talk or the day in Washington, and other and - BOOTS, DRY GGCDS, SHOES, HATS, CAPS, MOTIONS, HARDWARE well-nxe- AT Reasonable Prices." First. We aim to buy only the bestiality goods. Second; We sell at as tfmall a profit as possible. Furthermore we guaracUe our goods. Here is the . plaoe to tuy yow eatables. Then, w hews China, Queenswaafe, Glassware, Crockery, Lamps and ate Call and aes us, we will treat you right. then said: "O! I should so much like to have a souvenir of you to take home to Ohio!" "Thank you! Thank vou!" resnnnd. ed Windom politely. "Could you not Oh! Dlease do! give me a lock of your hair?" Madam," he replied, bowing low, 'you may take It all." And with a sweep of his arm he re moved his wig and handed it in her direction. Qommandino Attention There are several ways of getting attention. You can attract it, draw it, plead for it, bbU for it insist on it, and com H mand it. Which would you rather do with your printed announcement? Everyone who makes things to sell or who doea things for money, haa something to say to the public. The way that you say it, is as im- H ortant at least as what you say. Stepping Westward. 'Wht, are you stepping westward?" "Yea." 'TwmiM k a n,l,ah aa,tn who thus together roam in a strange land, and far from home, In thi. nlo,.. ,h Wr Yet who would stop, or fear to advance, home or shelter he had none. Though With such a sky to lead him on? If w, The dewy ground was dark and cold; tienina, an gloomy to behold; And stepping westward seemed to be A kind of heavenly destlnv: I liked the greeting: 'twas a sound Of something without place or bound: And seemed to give me spiritual right To travel through that region bright. The voice was soft, and she who spake, Was walking by her native lake; The salutation had to me The very sound of courtesy; Its power was felt; and while my eye Was fixed upon he glowing sky, The echo of the voice unwroueht A human sweetness with the thought Of traveling through the world that lay iierore me in my endless way. -- The Penalty of Progress. Is it anybody's business to keen count of the number of persons who are killed by accidents from day to day In this country? The number must be enormous, and most of the victims die of modern Improvements of one kind or another. Fatal trolley ear accidents are more common than ever before; railroads kill and malm about as usual; automobiles do their share, and mines, factories, fires, drowning accidents, gas accidents, explosions and the like contribute with extraordinary steadiness to our mor tuary statistics. 71 I I .,. the Industrial the sacrifice of In world, especially, human life seems prodigious. Human life Is cheap, but cheap as it is Ameri can civilization seems unduly lavish In expending it. Better Than the Genuine. The plutocratic father finds his daughter in tears. "How now?" he asks. "Are you not happy with the noble count to whom you were married with great eclat and at much expense?" "Oh, papa!" weeps the beauteous heiress, dinging herself Into his arms and breaking two cigars and the crystal of his watch. "Oh, papa! It is terrible! I discover that he is a bogus E I A d must be seen Are not these the characteristics you want in your printing? Then come in and talk to us about the nxt It Is the guilty man who Ii always of his "shadow." afraid booklet, folder, circular or other business-bringin- printed thing. have just received a supply of new type of all the latest facet and" can satisfy every taste and style known to the trade. "We have hundreds of cuts of every description and can illustrate American Eagle Printing Co, your business of whatever kind. "We CSEEI2S! For Any Bright Girl or Boy. FREE EDUCATION. A ... ... .. P. AflT.B TIIF. ...... UIa u,au, srmngsmems wun the I AOiriOfeCHOOLOFCoRKSSPONDENCt of Sau FrDcis-co- , the nuly correspondnos school In ths west, to give an absolute fres scholarship to any girl or boy who iswilliogtodoalittlsworkforthlspspsr. Uv.r twenty distinct Wanohn are tatifht and the rI'U has the choice of any of the studies. The oouree wid onntlnue until the diploma is swarded A better bis Usn cersr opportunity offered to anyoc. in so much to will not be Pleased With His Own Wit. M. C. Vedder, vice president of the Account. Audit and Assurance company, took out his watch the other day and found that the mainspring was broken. He went Into the nearest jeweler's, who was a stranger to him. and was told that he would have to leave the timepiece for about a week. "I wish you would loan me one to carry.' said Mr. Vedder, "for I am lost without it." "Yes," replied the jeweler, quickly, "but If I loaned you one you might get lost with it." The jeweler was o pleased with his own wit that he loaned his easterner a good watch New yv,Tk Times. that not only may, but which printing which doesn't simply ask, but which demands and commands attention. ing the father, "That's all H. i5 S I "V What you say is your part. The way you say it is ours. Printing that cannot be turned or overdown, mislaid, looked is the kind we do. It is distinguished printing print- count!" "There, there." soothes with a smile of relief. right. It won't cost near keep him and, besides, he above going to work." I '!U;B!tk' Prid'Ub'" k.lhi. OUR PLAN IS THIS: or To any bright boy secure the greatest SCRIQERS Book-Kepi,I- tp th. girl, man or woman, w ho will number of ssiin EAGLE by July 1 lsS .,11 I sc. Ha S hoo of Oorrsspoodsnoe to any of the following branohs: MlniosKtsnography T:, - .v.T i? ,,brri ,)Uoa mu,t !V. t ,B '0f subseribsr to YEAR id iB al the .loss of the on.. ri.,p,r'0,l0,0JNE and per year, THE AMERICAN EAGLE. t!.M.t.i,t s,:s,u MxUimmmmmtznTttfcTtT"' 'vn nil MiiillilrMWMH li |