OCR Text |
Show A Candidates Grief Now that campaigns are warming warm-ing up, it may be as good z time as any to republish the experience ex-perience of an Arkansas candidate for sheriff, which has been going the rounds for several years. The story has gathered various and sundry additions in its march down the corridors of time, the-latest the-latest version being as follows: "Lost four months and 20 days canvassing; lost 1,360 hours of sleep thinking about the election; lost 40 acres of corn and a crop of sweet potatoes; lost two front teeth and a lot of hair in personal person-al combat with an opponent; donated do-nated one beef, four shoats and five sheep to barbecues; gave a-way a-way two pairs of suspenders, five calico dresses, five dolls and thirteen thir-teen baby rattles; kissed 126 babies; ba-bies; kindled 14 kitchen fires; put up eight stoves; cut 14 cords of wood; carried 24 buckets of water; gathered seven wagon loads of corn; pulled 475 bundles of fodder; fod-der; walked 4,060 miles; shook hands 9,080 times; told 10,001 lies and talked enough to make 1,000 volumes; attended 26 revival meetings; meet-ings; was baptized four times by immersion and twice by sprinkling; sprink-ling; contributed $50 to foreign missions; made love to nine grass widows and got dog bit 19 times . and then got defeated!" Gunnison Gun-nison Valley News. |