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Show . Kathleen Norris Says: Men Haven't Much Sense Bell Syndicate. WNU Features. KATHLEEN NOBfifk "On our wedding night he began to tell me of his conquests. It secretly made me sick, so that we started off badly. By .KATHLEEN NORRIS CAROL is a very pretty girl who married her school hero; she adored Johnnie in secret all through her girlhood, she watched him win football games in college years, she cried when she kissed him goodbye and saw him off to war, and they were married six months ago, when Johnnie came marching home. "He would be a perfect husband," hus-band," she writes me,' "if he were not so stuck on himself. I suppose the right word for that is 'vain,' but stuck on himself seems to express it better. Johnnie has been a good deal admired, he was a football idol in our small town, and he has a good war record but my gracious! "On our wedding night he began to tell me of his conquests. It secretly made me sick, so that we started off badly. I listened all through the honeymoon to casual references to girls who had made fools of themselves over him and married women who had abandoned virtue when irresistible Johnnie came along. "Naturally, this disgusted me a good deal, for the nature of these revelations was rather shocking, but what disheartened me more was Johnnie s vanity and his simplicity. He revelled in long quoted conversations, conver-sations, In which this or that shy damsel gradually surrendered to his charms, going on to review the love letters that pestered him while in the service, and the praises of his superior officers, many of whom envied him, his record, and his success suc-cess with the ladies. Keeps on Boasting. "My saying, 'oh, please, I'm not interested!' has no effect. Johnnie goes right on boasting. Once or twice I tried a back-fire, and began on my own romantic adventures, but that didn't interest him at all. He hardly listened and was off again on the fascinating history of a little Filipino girl, or a little Australian Aus-tralian nurse it's so tiresome that sometimes I want to scream. "I'm aware," the letter continues, "that I'm describing a stupid, self-engrossed self-engrossed man, but that's not the case. Johnnie' is kind, generous, amusing, extremely popular, and came back from service still cheerful cheer-ful and well-balanced, and has already made his way as a member mem-ber of our best firm of architects. Of course he doesn't talk this way all the time, we both love the little farm where we live, and Johnnie is really clever in planning for the chickens and fruit by which we mean to make it pay. He is pathetically patheti-cally pleased that a baby is coming, and rather touched me by saying, when I was hoping for a boy, 'I want a girL like her mother.' "But with all this he can't see that he's hurting himself and boring bor-ing me by this Adonis-complex, this eternal complacent posing, this continual con-tinual reference to himself as stronger, taller, handsomer than all the men with whom he comes in contact. 'She took one look at me,' Boasts of his conquests. . . . he will say, 'and her darling Freddy Fred-dy faded from the picture.' " . Well, Carol, I say in answer, every ev-ery marriage has its percentage of difficulty and disappointment; some as high as 80 per cent, some as in your case, that I would rate about 10 per cent. Johnnie's vanity is innocent'enough after all, for the probability is that his conquests exist principally in his own fond dreams; any man who is popular, farm-loving, wife-loving, baby-loving, and who belongs to so eclectic a profession as his, is sound at heart. Defeats will Come. You may have to put up with his absurdities for a while longer, and then may have the harder trial of seeing Johnnie disappointed, his pride tumbled in the dust, his beauty impaired and for sheer pity of him, in his childish hurt and amazement, you may feel a love and sorrow that will wipe out all the memories of younger, bumptious bumpti-ous years. The mills of the gods often bring this to pass. And the higher they rode in their glory, the deeper these men have to fall. You married what every young girl dreams of marrying marry-ing tall and handsome and popular popu-lar and a football hero and a war hero isn't that about the prescription? prescrip-tion? and u" he is good-natured and affectionate and smart in his profession you got more than you ordered. You can do something, in this particular moment in world affairs by calling his attention to the wounded, the handicapped men who are coming home, and getting him to help them that may sober him. Anyway, sooner or later, life itself will, and Johnnie the magnificent will grow to man's estate. |